for: tamliko

[sne_mod]

From: kitarin
Title: And I Am Still Waiting
Rating: R
Summary: set post-the final battle
Warnings: n/a
A/N: Lyrics to “Come Home” with thanks to One Republic.
Mod note: Reminder for the author/artist of this submission, please do not reply to comments signed in, if you want to reply anon commenting is enabled.

Comments

[shinigami002]

I really enjoyed this- especially how Sasuke is drawn to Naruto, and the significance of Sasuke's hitaite.

[jyusan]

Lovely :) I loved the small bits like Sakura saving Sasuke "damn her" :D, or that Sasuke protected Naruto again but his body really didn't move on it's own, and the headband is a nice touch ^^

[transient_words]

Hmm, I think this is very well-written in terms of scenery and atmosphere - you fleshed the backgrounds out very nicely. That's something that often lacks in fanfic.

I liked the emotion in this piece too - it's very intense and raw.

Though, I must admit that the song lyrics didn't work for me - but I'm biased against song fics in general, so ignore this.

Another point: Naruto's characterisation was generally okay, but he didn't seem as aggressive or stubborn as in canon? It could be that you are aiming at making him more mature, but, IMO, he seemed a little too assertive.

I won't comment on Sasuke because, at this point in canon, writing him halfway IC is an incredible feat - I think you wrote him well though, given the fic's circumstances?

Please don't think the critique implies I didn't like this - I did!

I think you're a good writer and I'd like to see more you :)