Creep, 2/6, (SPN/HP)
Title: Creep
Author :Meh_Forget_It
Fandoms: Supernatural, Harry Potter
Warnings: SLASH. Spoilers for Season Five of Supernatural, Torture, Character Death, Blasphemy, general lack of regard for any religion, strong language, OOC behaviour, male/male graphic sex, insanity, probably more to come.
Summary: When Lucifer went to Carthage to raise Death, he did not expect to meet Death's new Master.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Supernatural. They belong to JK Rowling and Eric Kripke respectively. I'm not making any money from this.
Pairing: Lucifer/Harry
Rating: NC17
Status: Complete
Word Count: 34,845 (7,312 words this chapter)
Warnings for the chapter: Once again a total lack of regard for any and all religion, OOC behaviour and sexual content of the male/male variety. Meaning the pairing comes into play in this. Oh… and if you were expecting lovey dovey sex… you should keep in mind just who are having the sex. *grin*
Chapter Two
"So, this is America. Land of the… wait… what is it land of again? Brave and Free? Is it brave and free? Or is it something else. Oh, Scotland, is that the free place. Guy with the blue face, he screamed about freedom and shit." Harry muttered as he followed behind Lucifer, not noticing that Lucifer's eyes were black and his jaw was clenched.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Lucifer told him through gritted teeth and Harry looked up to stare at the back of Lucifer's head.
"Really? Where have you been for the last century or so? I was trapped in the wizarding world for quite a while, yet I still know about it. Come on, have you been living under a rock for the past hundred or so years?" Harry stated dully, as he looked away and glanced at the buildings they were passing, letting his eyes pass over some hellhounds in disinterest.
"I've been trapped in a cage in the bowels of Hell for several millennia." Lucifer told him blankly and Harry paused for a second and looked at Lucifer's back, feeling a brief wave of shock before it left.
"Huh. Well that sucks. Still, rather Hell than Wizarding Britain. Terrible place. No frogs and considering the amount of witches walking around, there is a shocking lack of kittens. And they don't like snakes either. Terrible place." Harry muttered again, and then walked into Lucifer's chest, given the man had stopped and turned to look at him, looking completely bewildered.
"You are very odd." Lucifer finally said, after Harry squeaked and looked up at him, looking a little shocked for a few seconds before the blank look came back over his face.
"So some say. I'm not the one trying to destroy their fathers creation just because he didn't get the last cookie however, so really, you shouldn't be casting any stones." Harry pointed out, stepping around Lucifer and carrying on, before he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Where are we going, by the way?"
"Away from here. My vessel has left, and Death never came, but they are of the belief he did. We shall move on." Lucifer told him and Harry nodded his head and allowed Lucifer to pass him.
"How are we leaving here? My servant has a very nifty car in America somewhere… I bought him new license plates for it. Actually, what's the date?"
"I believe it is the seventeenth of January. Why do you wish to know?" Lucifer asked him and Harry wrinkled his nose and crossed his eyes as he thought, then shrugged.
"If we stay here for a few hours longer, then my servant will be by to pick me up and take me to my next destination anyway." Harry commented, then cursed as a gust of wind blew his robes and made them tangle around his legs, tripping him up. "I'm having a word with that freaking slave."
"Why do you not shorten your robes?" Lucifer asked, having turned around at Harry's curse and seen the trouble the Master of Death had gotten into.
"You think it's that easy? You fucking try, moron!" Harry hissed, feeling anger course through him as he tried to detangle his legs.
"I am not a seamstress." Lucifer told him and Harry growled at him, then yelped and patted his side, making Lucifer glance at him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"
"The Lambada! What the fuck do you think I'm doing? Are you going to fucking help me, or are you going to stand there and stare like the knob-gobbler that you are? Fucking wanker." Harry muttered, patting his side once more and then continuing to chunter under his breath as he unwrapped the cloak from around his legs.
"I do not understand why you do not shorten it."
"I don't understand why you don't shut the fuck up. What, making up all that time you were silent trapped in Hell? And tell your mangy mutt to stop looking at me like I'm a fecking rare steak, before I conjure up a cork and shove it up its arse." Harry spat, relishing in the feeling of anger coursing through his veins in a rare moment of feeling emotion.
"He is not my dog." Lucifer stated bluntly, and Harry sighed as he was finally released from his robes and then turned to stare at the hellhound that was drooling and looking at him.
Harry sneered at the dog and then conjured a rather large cork in his hands, raising at eyebrow at the dog, he then shot a pointed look at the cork in his hands. The hellhound stared at him for a few seconds, then stepped back, tail between its legs and whimpering slightly.
"Damn straight. Don't mess with Death, Bitch. You'll never win." Harry muttered, then sighed as he felt all emotion slowly leave him like a bath with no plug. "I'm in need of a drink. Where's the corner shop?"
"Are you… taking something?" Lucifer questioned him warily, and Harry turned to look at him with a blank face.
"No. Becoming Master of Death is like ODing on Lithium. Saps you of all emotion except strong bursts every now and then. I'd find it annoying if I could feel annoyance. Corner shop?"
"There are no shops on corners." Lucifer stated and Harry sucked on his teeth for a few seconds and then nodded.
"General store? Somewhere I can buy a bottle of water. And by 'buy' I mean 'steal'." Harry asked and Lucifer frowned in thought and then glanced back at the destroyed buildings.
"I believe that crater over there was the general store." Lucifer said, nodding his head in the direction of a large space that looked like some sort of bomb had gone off. Harry wrinkled his nose and sighed.
"Wonder which poor reaper had the fun task of piecing the bits of those souls together. Oh good, they took out some dogs with them. Ah, hope they have a fun after life, whichever religion they may follow. Though they could have saved me a bottle of water."
"For someone who does not feel any emotion, you do talk a lot." Lucifer pointed out and Harry just shrugged and moved into step beside Lucifer.
"You don't need to feel emotion to speak, you know? Emotion is not a requirement of speech." Harry pointed out, then glanced up at Lucifer. "I need a pair of heels."
"Pardon?"
"Never mind. So we just have to wait here for Derek to turn up and we'll be golden."
"Who is Derek?" Lucifer asked him and Harry turned to grin at him, making Lucifer immediately regret having asked.
"Death."
"Death is called Derek? Death does not have a name." Lucifer stated, and even Harry could hear the confusion in his voice.
"Yes, well, going around chatting to a bloke you called Death was never the most inconspicuous thing to do. So… Derek." Harry said with finality and ignored the somewhat suffering sigh that Lucifer gave from beside him.
"You are Hell, aren't you? I have not escaped, this is just a new punishment that has been thought up by someone. A reaper that cannot shut up." Lucifer said and Harry felt a flash of indignation before it fizzled out once again.
"I'll have you know that I am not a reaper, thank you very much. I am their master's master, which makes me their… uber master!" Harry told him blandly, and Lucifer just sighed once more.
"Some times I find that I do not know what you are talking about." Lucifer told him and Harry just shrugged.
"Uber, it means super or awesome or amazing or mega or something in German. They had German when you were thrown into the pit, right? Wait, it changed, didn't it? There's like, old German and modern German. Hang on. How old are you?" Harry asked him, looking at him closely as he moved to lean against a slightly crumbly wall.
"Old. Possibly not as old as you. Death came long before we did." Lucifer admitted and then noticed Harry's scandalised expression.
"How old do you think I am? I'm only twenty-nine!" Harry exclaimed, and then pouted, though his eyes seemed to be emotionless, telling Lucifer that the strange creature's vexation didn't last for very long.
"How did someone so young, find themselves to be Master of Death?" Lucifer enquired and Harry just shrugged and looked away from him.
"Different ways. You think I'm going to tell you? You want to burn this world and everything in it, to the ground. My being Master of Death is the only thing that ensures I will survive whatever happens. So no, I won't be telling you." Harry told him vaguely, not looking at Lucifer and thus not seeing the anger flash in his eyes before he hid it.
"I suppose that is understandable then. You should know, I will find out how. And when I do, I won't allow you to hinder me anymore." Lucifer warned him and Harry scoffed at him and turned to look away from him, to where a pale green, almost cream, Cadillac was driving towards them.
"Ah, here he is. Right on time, too. Death's never late, after all. Would be bad business." Harry commented, pushing off of the wall and walking past Lucifer to greet his servant.
"Master, what are you doing here? I left you in Belarus last month. I had assumed you would still be there. When I sensed you in America, I was quite surprised." Death said in a low voice as he stepped out of the car and bowed his head at Harry, then held open a pizza box. "The pizza in this country is better than anywhere else."
"Even Italy?" Harry asked him, taking a slice of the cheese and tomato pizza and taking a bite, humming in pleasure. "Oh no, you're right, this is nice."
"Exactly. Master… why is Lucifer standing behind you?" Death asked, looking past Harry to where Lucifer was standing and watching them.
"Oh, he wants to take over the world, burn everyone to the ground and dance in the ashes. But he needs your help in that. No idea why. I've told him that I won't let you go out to play until I'm sure the big kids won't bully you." Harry told his servant, serious tone belying the light hearted wording.
"And you feel no compulsion to follow his orders?" Death asked Harry in a quiet voice, which Lucifer couldn't hear.
"No. And Death can only have one master. That's me. Derek, you may need your ring. Take it. Keep it safe, you know what to do with it. Make sure it doesn't get into the wrong hands. Understand me?" Harry asked Death, taking a gold ring with a black stone in it, off of his finger and handing it to a shocked Death.
"Of course, Master." Death said, dipping his head and then placing the ring on his own finger, next to the finger holding another ring.
"Good, so, you know Lucifer? Good to know, introductions aren't needed. They always have bored me a little. Did you stop that kitten farm in Essex? And did you teach their souls a lesson they aren't likely to forget in a hurry?" Harry asked at a normal volume, ignoring the feeling of Lucifer's eyes boring into his back.
"Their reincarnations will never be cruel to a cat ever again. The kittens have been distributed to loving families, as asked and I also stopped a woman from running over a family of frogs. You should be warned, your past life is searching for you. They have noticed the strange goings on in this world and are concerned that it may soon affect them." Death told Harry, who wrinkled his nose and squinted one eye before shrugging.
"Had better make sure that they don't find me then, hadn't we. Why do they not believe I am dead?" Harry asked, looking confused, and glancing over his shoulder when Lucifer moved to walk up to them.
"I am not sure. Perhaps you can point Lucifer towards his first victims." Death suggested and Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste.
"That wouldn't be very nice, would it? They haven't done anything to me. It's not like they actively searched me out in the time I've been gone. No, we should leave them alone. Soon they will have enough problems of their own, to realistically be able to search for a dead man." Harry told Death, whilst Lucifer just watched the two in silence.
"As you wish, Master. If you have summoned my Master, and by association, myself. Does that mean my brothers are now out as well?" Death asked, looking at Lucifer, whilst Harry kept silent, watching the two.
"It does. I regret to inform you that War has lost his ring and powers, however he did begin the apocalypse, the path has been set." Lucifer told him and Death sighed and looked at Harry, who glanced back at him and nodded.
"I shall take you to where you wish to go and then I will leave and search out my brothers. War will not have long left and only my Master or myself can take his soul." Death told them and Harry sighed and looked up at the sky.
"I don't know where we should go. Lucifer?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side and looking at Lucifer out of the corner of his eyes.
"I do not mind. Where would you like to go? You say you have never been here before, and I have been travelling around since I was released." Lucifer informed him and Harry hummed to himself and shut one eye in thought once more, before he smirked and opened it once more.
"Vegas. I want to go to Vegas. I've heard it's fun." Harry said with a shrug and Death nodded his head.
"And I will be taking Lucifer with you as well?"
"Yeah, gotta see if his endeavours are worth our time, after all. So far? They're really not. You've got no plans, no idea on what to do next and seem to think you have time to go frolic around in Vegas. You're not exactly putting on a professional front, Luci." Harry commented and then stepped up to stand next to Death, narrowing his eyes at the fallen angel when Lucifer snarled wordlessly.
"You presume to know my plans?"
"No, but you are going to have to share them with me if you wish for our aid in this, and even I know that you need four horsemen for this Apocalypse shindig to really get kicking. The other three don't have masters, so they're stuck with you. Death is the main man, however. The big cheese. You need us. We don't need you. Don't piss me off, Lucifer. You won't like the outcome."
"Do you know who I am? What I can do? I can end you, you and all of my fathers beloved creations!" Lucifer hissed and Death glanced at the two and then took a step away.
"I own Death! You think the man that owns Death, controls Death, can be killed easily? For the biggest bad known to Christianity, you sure are naïve. Put your damn dummy back in, tell me your plans and I will decide whether you are worth our time or not." Harry hissed, robes whipping around his ankles as he glared at Lucifer. The fallen angel sneered at him and turned his head away.
"I will tell you of some of my plans, and together, we will find my true vessel." Lucifer told him and Harry raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. "You can help me get him to agree to allowing me to use him."
"Why would I do that? What's wrong with the body you're currently using? Besides the whole… rotting thing, you've got going on. I believe, getting him to say yes to you, is your job. I have nor agreed to help you at all. I will join you in finding them however, it will give me a chance to see who you are fighting against."
"The angels will not accept you."
"Angels? Like the new age, hippy crap? Do they wear white dresses and have actual halos?"
"We do not have halos."
"You're an angel? Well that's a disappointment. Sure, you're easy on the eyes, but… where're the wings?" Harry asked and Lucifer just glared at him, making Harry sigh and turn back to look at Death. "So, Vegas?"
"I wish to meet with your vessel soon." Harry commented lightly as he and Lucifer wandered past Las Vegas' many casinos, Lucifer sneering at the passing humans, whilst Harry just remained unfeeling towards everyone.
"How do I know that you will not betray me?" Lucifer asked him coolly and Harry rolled his eyes, ignoring the stares his trailing robes and bare feet got him from tourists.
"What is there to betray? Death cannot betray anyone, for it has no allegiances to anyone. Just as Death cannot be betrayed." Harry told him flatly, and let his eyes pass over the bright lights and laughing, drunken mortals, completely unaware of who was passing them.
"I do not feel comfortable with you meeting my vessel. I do not trust you just yet." Lucifer told him and Harry shrugged.
"Then go it alone without the horsemen. To be quite honest, I think this whole Apocalypse tata that you've got going on is pointless anyway. What will it get you?" Harry asked, glancing to the side of Lucifer, who was staring ahead of him.
"Revenge. And then I will make this planet my own paradise." Lucifer told him and Harry chuckled dryly and waved his hand negligently in front of him.
"One man's utopia is another mans dystopia. Who is to say what you view as paradise, is what everyone else sees?" Harry asked, head snapping to the side and eyes narrowing on a passing couple. Harry reached out his hand and gently let it trace over the woman's arm before turning back to Lucifer as though nothing had happened.
"What did you just do?"
"Hmm?" Harry asked, eyes trailing listlessly over random people passing him by.
"To that woman. You trailed your hand over her arm. Why?" Lucifer asked him, calm tone sounding a little forced.
"I marked them. A nearby reaper will sense that and take their souls. They deserve it. They ran over a cat last week and kicked the body to the side of the road." Harry told him simply and Lucifer looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"What is your fascination with cats?" Lucifer asked him and Harry shrugged.
"Don't know. They look down on everyone, to them, everyone is below them, not just a few people here and there. Even their owners are worthy of their time because they feed them. I like that."
"Everyone is below me." Lucifer pointed out and Harry snorted.
"Boy, you look down on me and I'll kick your ass right back in that box of yours. You ain't no cat." Harry told him with a sneer, which only lasted mere seconds.
"What plans do you have?" Lucifer asked him after they had been walking in silence for a few minutes, Harry occasionally reaching out to brush against someone, or dip his hands into someone's pockets or bag.
"Ah ah, we're here to discuss your plans, not mine. My plans are my own. It's part of my… contract. I don't share my plans with anyone. No matter how important they deem themselves to be." Harry told him casually.
"Contract? With who?"
"Whom. And that would be telling. You don't really believe that your God is the be all and end all, do you? What about all those other lovely religions out there? What about the people who don't follow a religion, or make their own up. Though why anyone would make an alien their God, I have yet to work out. Scientologists creep me out." Harry muttered, eyeing a passing man warily. "Actually, all religions disturb me a little. Who would want to put their own fate in the hands of an invisible man or woman in the sky?"
"But I am proof that there is a God. You, yourself, have told me that you have met other Gods and religious beings. So what is not to believe?" Lucifer asked him, growling at a poor teen that had ran into him. Harry snickered and then ran his hand over the teens arm when he helped him up off the ground. Harry then winked at Lucifer and carried on walking.
"I never said anything about believing, I just do not wish to leave my future in the hands of beings I do not know or trust. That, however, is a moot point now. Death doesn't have a future. It doesn't have a past. It just is." Harry stated and titled his head back to look at the darkening sky, Lucifer just glanced over at him, looking contemplative.
"You sound shockingly accepting of having no future." Lucifer pointed out and Harry shrugged awkwardly, head still right back.
"I think that's why we can't feel anything. When you can't feel anything, you can't panic over what is happening. You lose your ability to feel emotions before you work out what you are, normally."
"So there have been other Masters? There is a way to get rid of you?"
"Good try, Luci. No, I'm the only one. Others have tried though, and failed. It was thought to be a myth amongst my people. Apparently it's not." Harry said with a mirthless laugh.
"It would seem not. I will admit, I never knew of a Master of Death. I was quite shocked when you appeared instead of Death." Lucifer admitted and Harry chuckled quietly.
"I can imagine. I was quite shocked myself, actually. No one ever said I could be summoned. Guess I should read your religion's book. Check what it is I'm missing out on. Don't wanna bump into one of the main characters and not know who they are again." Harry said with a wide grin and Lucifer just sighed and glanced skyward. "If you hate him, he's not gonna listen to your prayers to get rid of me."
"I'm asking for patience."
"Still not going to get it."
Harry glanced over at where Lucifer was talking to someone, possibly a demon, Harry wasn't all too sure on the specifics and hierarchy of Hell, and didn't actually care. The point was that Lucifer had other things on his mind and wasn't paying Harry any attention.
Harry smirked and walked into the one room in their suite, closing the door shut behind him. He then walked over to the darkest corner and sucked on his right index finger, before dragging the wet digit down the wall.
"Derek." Harry whispered and took a step back from the wall, grinning when Death stepped through the shadows and tilted his head at him in silent question. "Is it secret? Is it safe?"
"I wish you would tell me the name of the person who introduced you to Lord of the Rings and Discworld." Death told him, giving an exasperated sigh when Harry just smirked at him.
"Why would I do that? You'd just try to take their soul and they're one of the only people I receive solstice presents off of." Harry informed him, then frowned and tapped at his side, as though in thought.
"You called for me?"
"Yes, we need to go speak to someone about this whole Apocalypse shindig. Need to see what they truly think is going on. We both know he is savvy and has ears everywhere. Chances are, he's been expecting us." Harry informed Death, who nodded his head and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Is he still with you?"
"He is. Let's go. I don't know how long we have. I'll be missed soon enough." Harry informed Death, who nodded and took them both back into the shadows and out of the room.
Harry stepped out of the shadows just in front of Death and glanced around the opulent room he had stepped out in. He whistled lowly and then chuckled when the man sitting at the desk jerked and looked over at him.
"Well, well, I had wondered if I'd be seeing you two again. A master and his bitch. Come to finally smack my hand?" The man asked, standing up form his desk and walking over to them, Harry smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"Now, now, Crowley. That's no way to treat one of the few people who can end your existence, is it?" Harry asked, looking at the King of the Crossroads with muted amusement.
"Sorry. I've been a little… jumpy since this whole Apocalypse thing started. You know how it is." Crowley stated, turning swiftly on his heel and motioning for Harry to follow behind him. "Notice you're still wearing that cloak. Still don't want the number to my tailor?"
"And end up looking like you? We'd be giving people the wrong impression about the British if I did that." Harry told him, following Crowley through the halls of his large house and into a sitting room. Harry then took a seat in the chair Crowley motioned to, and noticed Death moved to stand behind him.
"You don't want people thinking the British are style savvy and well-dressed?" Crowley asked, pouring them both a brandy and handing one glass over to Harry, before moving to sit in the seat opposite him.
"You mean stuffy and uptight? No."
"So you would rather them think we are scruffy and short, with no idea what shoes are?" Crowley asked with a pointed glance at Harry's bare feet.
"No, I prefer unique. And shoes are restricting. I can't feel the souls of the earth when I'm wearing them. You know that, Crowley. By the way, should I be calling you King, since Lilith has kicked the bucket now and all?"
"Did you ever call her 'queen'?"
"Never met her."
"Ah. In which case, yes, yes you should refer to me as either King Crowley or Your Majesty, whichever you feel more comfortable with. You should bow to me as well. And shower me with - actually, I've seen your idea of gifts, just bowing is fine." Crowley told him, with an air of distaste, making Harry smirk at him.
"I'm Death, we don't do bowing." Harry informed him and then his eyes lit up in mischief, making Crowley eye him warily. "What does -"
"if you value your manly parts, I wouldn't finish that sentence. So what are you really here for? We both know that Brits don't actually partake in tea and crumpets, and I don't know about you, but I've never had a cucumber sandwich in my life." Crowley told him, sipping his brandy but never taking his eyes off of Harry.
"Business call. You knew we would be coming. We need to know what you know about this whole Apocalypse thing. How do you think it is going to end? And more importantly, in whose favour? Who do you think we should be backing?" Harry asked and Crowley exhaled heavily, before locking eyes with Harry.
"Your pet, there, is an 'orseman, Harry. For this whole thing to really get star'ed, he's got to join in the welcome parade. You still not read the Bible? I told you it was a good read. Full of angst, death, twists and turns. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry. More to the point though, it'll give a clue as to what Luci is planning." Crowley told him and Harry eyed him and then nodded his head.
"Okay. I'll give it a read. Before you tell us everything, and I do mean everything, you well dressed Del Boy of Hell, I have something I need to inform you." Harry told him, ignoring Crowley's insulted look at the name.
"Go on. And does that make you Rodney?"
"Call me Rodney and I'll castrate your favourite Hellhound. Here's the deal, Crowley, I know how much to like them." Harry said, standing up from his seat and walking to stand in front of Crowley, who just watched him with amusement in his eyes.
"Well, I am a Crossroads Demon, Love."
"Indeed, and here's the deal. You stay out of this war. Don't help either side. Stop contact with the Winchester's and yes, I do know about that, you're not the only one with ears everywhere."
"And if I do that? What's in it for me? If old Luci wins, you know I'll be the first to be gone."
"What I've given you already isn't enough? Fine, I'll ensure, that no matter who wins this war, you will survive it. And I control Death, no one dies if I don't want them to." Harry told him and Crowley narrowed his eyes and then nodded.
"Alright, I'll take a strategic retreat then. I won't help either side and you will ensure that I survive this." Crowley told him and Harry smirked at him, then leant down and pressed a kiss to Crowley's lips.
"You have a deal." Harry told him once he pulled back, licking his lips with a smirk, whilst Crowley just looked amused. Harry then walked back to his seat and sat down, looking at Crowley closely. Now, tell us everything you have learnt of this war. Don't leave anything out, Crowley, I'll know if you do."
Death and Harry returned back to Lucifer a few hours later, to find that Lucifer had finished making whatever plans he had been talking about with the demons, and was waiting for them.
Harry ignored most the fallen angel's questions and only gave vague answers to the ones he did reply to, making Lucifer growl at him in frustration and then drop it. They spent a month travelling to different places in America, occasionally with the aid of Death, sometimes without, but Harry still did not learn the true intentions of Lucifer, and it was beginning to annoy him, just the slightest of bits. He was actually surprised they lasted a month before their unanswered questions finally made them snap.
"That robe you wear, you don't wear anything else other than those trousers and that shirt. Even those, you change occasionally. Normally when I complain about the smell…" Lucifer commented and Harry rolled his eyes, knowing where he was going with this and tugging his robes further around him, remaining curled up in his comfortable chair, reading the copy of the Bible he had 'borrowed' from the nearby cathedral.
"Yes, yes… My hygiene is occasionally brought into question. Is there a point to this? I was just getting to a good bit."
"You're reading the Bible." Lucifer pointed out dryly, and Harry glanced at him and shrugged.
"Your point?"
"It's not a work of fiction." Lucifer told him and Harry snorted and looked at him incredulously.
"You're telling me that a whale, which can only swallow something the size of a melon, swallowed a man… who survived that, might I add, and then beached itself and this man, who was retarded enough to get swallowed by a whale in the first place, had a whole new look on life and decided to be good?" Harry asked him, looking completely unimpressed, whilst Lucifer just gaped at him.
"Possibly not that part."
"And the flood that wiped out everything on the world, bar a man and his family, who also managed to make this amazing arc that fit all the animals of the world on it? And these animals didn't eat one another? Come on! If you're going to try and make it so that it seems realistic… at least make it believable!" Harry stated with a wrinkle of his nose, making Lucifer sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose.
"You were sent to me to torment me, weren't you?"
"All I'm saying, is if this huge flood wiped out nearly all of mankind… there would have been a record of it somewhere…"
"Not if everyone was wiped out." Lucifer pointed out and Harry narrowed his eyes at him and huffed.
"So what? This Noah bloke… he's the starting point of every human on this earth? What about the ones that aren't human? The veela, werewolves, vampires, fairies… what about them? What, did he save two of those as well? And don't even get me started on Moses."
"What could you possibly have against Moses?"
"Who names their child that, to start with? And… it's not plausible. He was a slave! And then just magically does all this shit… and in a book that harps on about witchcraft being bad and all that shit, no one burnt this bloke at the stake? He made water separate! What, that was normal practice in those days?"
"I… Tell me why you are so attached to that robe." Lucifer demanded and Harry sneered at him and ignored the question.
"And why, when AD is all fancy and Latin, is BC boring and… unLatin."
"UnLatin is not a word. Answer my question."
"How would you know? You don't even know who Granny Weatherwax is, for all you know, unLatin is a word now." Harry pointed out, and Lucifer growled and stormed over, snatching the book off of Harry's lap and throwing it to the floor. "Hey!"
"Answer my questions!" Lucifer hissed, grabbing the collar of Harry's robes and dragging him to stand in front of him.
"I like it. It belonged to my father. It's all I have that was his, alright? So I can't feel anything, doesn't mean I can't have a need for mementoes. I've left everything else behind, except my wand and this cloak." Harry told him, gripping onto Lucifer's wrists to keep his balance.
"And a ring."
"What?"
"You gave your servant a ring. I did not hear what you said about it, but he looked to treasure it." Lucifer pointed out and Harry stared at him before he chuckled.
"That? That belongs to Derek. He leant it to me for a while, helps me to get new reapers to listen to me. I was just giving it back to him. The newest reaper knows not to mess with me." Harry told him, moving his hands from Lucifer's wrists and placing them on the man's chest instead, pushing against him gently. "Let me go, Lucifer."
"Tell me how you became Master of Death."
"So that you can kill me? Oh yes, brilliant idea. It isn't going to happen. Now, let me go." Harry said through clenched teeth and Lucifer sneered at him and let go of his robes, making Harry lose his balance and grab onto Lucifer's shirt to regain it.
"I will find out. And when I-" Harry sighed explosively and then surged forward, stopping Lucifer mid sentence by kissing him on the mouth. Harry moved a hand to wrap around Lucifer's neck, deepening the kiss and groaning when Lucifer pulled him closer, gripping his hips tight enough to bruise.
"You going to shut up and release some stress? Or do I need to go out and find someone else to take my frustrations out on?" Harry asked him once he had pulled away, and Lucifer sneered at him.
"You won't need to find someone else." Lucifer informed him and Harry smirked at him, before he trailed his hands across Lucifer's shoulders and slowly began to unbutton his shirt.
"Good. And the robe stays on, by the way." Harry informed him, then deftly undid the rest of the buttons and pushed Lucifer's shirt off of his shoulders. Harry then glanced up at Lucifer, who was just watching him, and moved his hands down to undo Lucifer's trousers, pushing them down his hips. "No kecks? Get you, going commando."
"I will not question you if you promise to be quiet for the rest of the night." Lucifer snarled at him as he stepped out of his trousers, finally moving and grabbing Harry's shoulders and turning him to slam him against the wall.
"You have a deal, and I do enjoy making deals." Harry told him, gasping when Lucifer yanked his trousers down and Harry kicked them away just as Lucifer stepped to stand between his legs. Harry grinned at him and then pressed his lips to Lucifer's once more, opening his mouth and moaning when Lucifer thrust his tongue in, and began to forcefully map out Harry's mouth. Harry groaned and wrapped an arm around Lucifer's neck, when Lucifer lifted him and made him wrap his legs around his waist, causing their erections to brush.
Harry arched into Lucifer and grabbed Lucifer's right hand with his free hand, and pulled back slightly, muttering something, then gasping and throwing his head back when Lucifer growled and dipped his head to nip at his neck. Harry soon felt Lucifer move his hand to begin to prepare him with the lube Harry had conjured and immediately thrust two fingers into him, causing Harry to jerk and cry out, revelling in the feeling of lust coursing through his veins from the stimulation.
It wasn't soon after that Lucifer removed his fingers and then shifted and thrust into Harry forcefully, whilst biting on Harry's neck, making Harry yell out in mixed pain and pleasure. Harry shifted and arched against Lucifer, tightening his legs around Lucifer's hips as Lucifer tightly gripped his hips and began to thrust into him vigorously. Harry moaned at the pained pleasure he was feeling, and tugged at Lucifer's hair, pulling the man away from his neck and moving to bite at Lucifer's bottom lip.
Lucifer growled and tightened his hold on Harry's hips, as his thrusts became faster and deeper, then pressed his lips to Harry's so hard that Harry tasted blood from where his lips were cut by his teeth. Harry whined in the back of his throat, feeling the pleasure building up at each thrust and removed his hand from Lucifer's hair to wrap his hand around his own, neglected penis.
Harry pulled away from Lucifer's lips and let his head fall back against the wall as he began to feel his climax rise up from his toes and closed his eyes, crying out as his orgasm crashed through him. He stiffened and arched against Lucifer, who quickened his own thrusts, before grunting his own release and leant against Harry, pinning him to the wall as they both tried to regain their breath.
When Harry began to get the feeling in his limbs back, he fidgeted against Lucifer to make him move and hissed when Lucifer pulled out of him and let his legs drop back to the floor. Harry waved his hand, cleaning them both up and then bent down to pick up and pull on his trousers.
"You were good. We should do that again sometime. Now, I need to go see a man about a dog. Speak to you later, Sweetie-Pie." Harry told Lucifer, who had grabbed his own trousers whilst Harry was sorting himself out.
"At least you do not expect to hug." Lucifer sneered and Harry smirked at him.
"Do I strike you as someone that likes to cuddle?" Harry asked him, and frowned as he patted his pockets and then looked around the room in confusion. "Where is -"
"I don't care." Lucifer said, looking a little wild-eyed as he shot a suspicious glanced to the corner of the room.
"Whatever, I'll be back when I'm back. Don't wait up and have dinner on the table for when I'm back, Woman!" Harry told him, smirking when Lucifer growled at him, then stepping back into the shadows and disappearing from the room.
"If he can do it himself, why does he insist on making myself or Death take him everywhere?" Lucifer asked aloud, not getting, but not expecting, an answer and then sighing and turning to leave the room.
Next Chapter
Previous Chapter
Author :Meh_Forget_It
Fandoms: Supernatural, Harry Potter
Warnings: SLASH. Spoilers for Season Five of Supernatural, Torture, Character Death, Blasphemy, general lack of regard for any religion, strong language, OOC behaviour, male/male graphic sex, insanity, probably more to come.
Summary: When Lucifer went to Carthage to raise Death, he did not expect to meet Death's new Master.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Supernatural. They belong to JK Rowling and Eric Kripke respectively. I'm not making any money from this.
Pairing: Lucifer/Harry
Rating: NC17
Status: Complete
Word Count: 34,845 (7,312 words this chapter)
Warnings for the chapter: Once again a total lack of regard for any and all religion, OOC behaviour and sexual content of the male/male variety. Meaning the pairing comes into play in this. Oh… and if you were expecting lovey dovey sex… you should keep in mind just who are having the sex. *grin*
Chapter Two
"So, this is America. Land of the… wait… what is it land of again? Brave and Free? Is it brave and free? Or is it something else. Oh, Scotland, is that the free place. Guy with the blue face, he screamed about freedom and shit." Harry muttered as he followed behind Lucifer, not noticing that Lucifer's eyes were black and his jaw was clenched.
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Lucifer told him through gritted teeth and Harry looked up to stare at the back of Lucifer's head.
"Really? Where have you been for the last century or so? I was trapped in the wizarding world for quite a while, yet I still know about it. Come on, have you been living under a rock for the past hundred or so years?" Harry stated dully, as he looked away and glanced at the buildings they were passing, letting his eyes pass over some hellhounds in disinterest.
"I've been trapped in a cage in the bowels of Hell for several millennia." Lucifer told him blankly and Harry paused for a second and looked at Lucifer's back, feeling a brief wave of shock before it left.
"Huh. Well that sucks. Still, rather Hell than Wizarding Britain. Terrible place. No frogs and considering the amount of witches walking around, there is a shocking lack of kittens. And they don't like snakes either. Terrible place." Harry muttered again, and then walked into Lucifer's chest, given the man had stopped and turned to look at him, looking completely bewildered.
"You are very odd." Lucifer finally said, after Harry squeaked and looked up at him, looking a little shocked for a few seconds before the blank look came back over his face.
"So some say. I'm not the one trying to destroy their fathers creation just because he didn't get the last cookie however, so really, you shouldn't be casting any stones." Harry pointed out, stepping around Lucifer and carrying on, before he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Where are we going, by the way?"
"Away from here. My vessel has left, and Death never came, but they are of the belief he did. We shall move on." Lucifer told him and Harry nodded his head and allowed Lucifer to pass him.
"How are we leaving here? My servant has a very nifty car in America somewhere… I bought him new license plates for it. Actually, what's the date?"
"I believe it is the seventeenth of January. Why do you wish to know?" Lucifer asked him and Harry wrinkled his nose and crossed his eyes as he thought, then shrugged.
"If we stay here for a few hours longer, then my servant will be by to pick me up and take me to my next destination anyway." Harry commented, then cursed as a gust of wind blew his robes and made them tangle around his legs, tripping him up. "I'm having a word with that freaking slave."
"Why do you not shorten your robes?" Lucifer asked, having turned around at Harry's curse and seen the trouble the Master of Death had gotten into.
"You think it's that easy? You fucking try, moron!" Harry hissed, feeling anger course through him as he tried to detangle his legs.
"I am not a seamstress." Lucifer told him and Harry growled at him, then yelped and patted his side, making Lucifer glance at him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"
"The Lambada! What the fuck do you think I'm doing? Are you going to fucking help me, or are you going to stand there and stare like the knob-gobbler that you are? Fucking wanker." Harry muttered, patting his side once more and then continuing to chunter under his breath as he unwrapped the cloak from around his legs.
"I do not understand why you do not shorten it."
"I don't understand why you don't shut the fuck up. What, making up all that time you were silent trapped in Hell? And tell your mangy mutt to stop looking at me like I'm a fecking rare steak, before I conjure up a cork and shove it up its arse." Harry spat, relishing in the feeling of anger coursing through his veins in a rare moment of feeling emotion.
"He is not my dog." Lucifer stated bluntly, and Harry sighed as he was finally released from his robes and then turned to stare at the hellhound that was drooling and looking at him.
Harry sneered at the dog and then conjured a rather large cork in his hands, raising at eyebrow at the dog, he then shot a pointed look at the cork in his hands. The hellhound stared at him for a few seconds, then stepped back, tail between its legs and whimpering slightly.
"Damn straight. Don't mess with Death, Bitch. You'll never win." Harry muttered, then sighed as he felt all emotion slowly leave him like a bath with no plug. "I'm in need of a drink. Where's the corner shop?"
"Are you… taking something?" Lucifer questioned him warily, and Harry turned to look at him with a blank face.
"No. Becoming Master of Death is like ODing on Lithium. Saps you of all emotion except strong bursts every now and then. I'd find it annoying if I could feel annoyance. Corner shop?"
"There are no shops on corners." Lucifer stated and Harry sucked on his teeth for a few seconds and then nodded.
"General store? Somewhere I can buy a bottle of water. And by 'buy' I mean 'steal'." Harry asked and Lucifer frowned in thought and then glanced back at the destroyed buildings.
"I believe that crater over there was the general store." Lucifer said, nodding his head in the direction of a large space that looked like some sort of bomb had gone off. Harry wrinkled his nose and sighed.
"Wonder which poor reaper had the fun task of piecing the bits of those souls together. Oh good, they took out some dogs with them. Ah, hope they have a fun after life, whichever religion they may follow. Though they could have saved me a bottle of water."
"For someone who does not feel any emotion, you do talk a lot." Lucifer pointed out and Harry just shrugged and moved into step beside Lucifer.
"You don't need to feel emotion to speak, you know? Emotion is not a requirement of speech." Harry pointed out, then glanced up at Lucifer. "I need a pair of heels."
"Pardon?"
"Never mind. So we just have to wait here for Derek to turn up and we'll be golden."
"Who is Derek?" Lucifer asked him and Harry turned to grin at him, making Lucifer immediately regret having asked.
"Death."
"Death is called Derek? Death does not have a name." Lucifer stated, and even Harry could hear the confusion in his voice.
"Yes, well, going around chatting to a bloke you called Death was never the most inconspicuous thing to do. So… Derek." Harry said with finality and ignored the somewhat suffering sigh that Lucifer gave from beside him.
"You are Hell, aren't you? I have not escaped, this is just a new punishment that has been thought up by someone. A reaper that cannot shut up." Lucifer said and Harry felt a flash of indignation before it fizzled out once again.
"I'll have you know that I am not a reaper, thank you very much. I am their master's master, which makes me their… uber master!" Harry told him blandly, and Lucifer just sighed once more.
"Some times I find that I do not know what you are talking about." Lucifer told him and Harry just shrugged.
"Uber, it means super or awesome or amazing or mega or something in German. They had German when you were thrown into the pit, right? Wait, it changed, didn't it? There's like, old German and modern German. Hang on. How old are you?" Harry asked him, looking at him closely as he moved to lean against a slightly crumbly wall.
"Old. Possibly not as old as you. Death came long before we did." Lucifer admitted and then noticed Harry's scandalised expression.
"How old do you think I am? I'm only twenty-nine!" Harry exclaimed, and then pouted, though his eyes seemed to be emotionless, telling Lucifer that the strange creature's vexation didn't last for very long.
"How did someone so young, find themselves to be Master of Death?" Lucifer enquired and Harry just shrugged and looked away from him.
"Different ways. You think I'm going to tell you? You want to burn this world and everything in it, to the ground. My being Master of Death is the only thing that ensures I will survive whatever happens. So no, I won't be telling you." Harry told him vaguely, not looking at Lucifer and thus not seeing the anger flash in his eyes before he hid it.
"I suppose that is understandable then. You should know, I will find out how. And when I do, I won't allow you to hinder me anymore." Lucifer warned him and Harry scoffed at him and turned to look away from him, to where a pale green, almost cream, Cadillac was driving towards them.
"Ah, here he is. Right on time, too. Death's never late, after all. Would be bad business." Harry commented, pushing off of the wall and walking past Lucifer to greet his servant.
"Master, what are you doing here? I left you in Belarus last month. I had assumed you would still be there. When I sensed you in America, I was quite surprised." Death said in a low voice as he stepped out of the car and bowed his head at Harry, then held open a pizza box. "The pizza in this country is better than anywhere else."
"Even Italy?" Harry asked him, taking a slice of the cheese and tomato pizza and taking a bite, humming in pleasure. "Oh no, you're right, this is nice."
"Exactly. Master… why is Lucifer standing behind you?" Death asked, looking past Harry to where Lucifer was standing and watching them.
"Oh, he wants to take over the world, burn everyone to the ground and dance in the ashes. But he needs your help in that. No idea why. I've told him that I won't let you go out to play until I'm sure the big kids won't bully you." Harry told his servant, serious tone belying the light hearted wording.
"And you feel no compulsion to follow his orders?" Death asked Harry in a quiet voice, which Lucifer couldn't hear.
"No. And Death can only have one master. That's me. Derek, you may need your ring. Take it. Keep it safe, you know what to do with it. Make sure it doesn't get into the wrong hands. Understand me?" Harry asked Death, taking a gold ring with a black stone in it, off of his finger and handing it to a shocked Death.
"Of course, Master." Death said, dipping his head and then placing the ring on his own finger, next to the finger holding another ring.
"Good, so, you know Lucifer? Good to know, introductions aren't needed. They always have bored me a little. Did you stop that kitten farm in Essex? And did you teach their souls a lesson they aren't likely to forget in a hurry?" Harry asked at a normal volume, ignoring the feeling of Lucifer's eyes boring into his back.
"Their reincarnations will never be cruel to a cat ever again. The kittens have been distributed to loving families, as asked and I also stopped a woman from running over a family of frogs. You should be warned, your past life is searching for you. They have noticed the strange goings on in this world and are concerned that it may soon affect them." Death told Harry, who wrinkled his nose and squinted one eye before shrugging.
"Had better make sure that they don't find me then, hadn't we. Why do they not believe I am dead?" Harry asked, looking confused, and glancing over his shoulder when Lucifer moved to walk up to them.
"I am not sure. Perhaps you can point Lucifer towards his first victims." Death suggested and Harry wrinkled his nose in distaste.
"That wouldn't be very nice, would it? They haven't done anything to me. It's not like they actively searched me out in the time I've been gone. No, we should leave them alone. Soon they will have enough problems of their own, to realistically be able to search for a dead man." Harry told Death, whilst Lucifer just watched the two in silence.
"As you wish, Master. If you have summoned my Master, and by association, myself. Does that mean my brothers are now out as well?" Death asked, looking at Lucifer, whilst Harry kept silent, watching the two.
"It does. I regret to inform you that War has lost his ring and powers, however he did begin the apocalypse, the path has been set." Lucifer told him and Death sighed and looked at Harry, who glanced back at him and nodded.
"I shall take you to where you wish to go and then I will leave and search out my brothers. War will not have long left and only my Master or myself can take his soul." Death told them and Harry sighed and looked up at the sky.
"I don't know where we should go. Lucifer?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side and looking at Lucifer out of the corner of his eyes.
"I do not mind. Where would you like to go? You say you have never been here before, and I have been travelling around since I was released." Lucifer informed him and Harry hummed to himself and shut one eye in thought once more, before he smirked and opened it once more.
"Vegas. I want to go to Vegas. I've heard it's fun." Harry said with a shrug and Death nodded his head.
"And I will be taking Lucifer with you as well?"
"Yeah, gotta see if his endeavours are worth our time, after all. So far? They're really not. You've got no plans, no idea on what to do next and seem to think you have time to go frolic around in Vegas. You're not exactly putting on a professional front, Luci." Harry commented and then stepped up to stand next to Death, narrowing his eyes at the fallen angel when Lucifer snarled wordlessly.
"You presume to know my plans?"
"No, but you are going to have to share them with me if you wish for our aid in this, and even I know that you need four horsemen for this Apocalypse shindig to really get kicking. The other three don't have masters, so they're stuck with you. Death is the main man, however. The big cheese. You need us. We don't need you. Don't piss me off, Lucifer. You won't like the outcome."
"Do you know who I am? What I can do? I can end you, you and all of my fathers beloved creations!" Lucifer hissed and Death glanced at the two and then took a step away.
"I own Death! You think the man that owns Death, controls Death, can be killed easily? For the biggest bad known to Christianity, you sure are naïve. Put your damn dummy back in, tell me your plans and I will decide whether you are worth our time or not." Harry hissed, robes whipping around his ankles as he glared at Lucifer. The fallen angel sneered at him and turned his head away.
"I will tell you of some of my plans, and together, we will find my true vessel." Lucifer told him and Harry raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. "You can help me get him to agree to allowing me to use him."
"Why would I do that? What's wrong with the body you're currently using? Besides the whole… rotting thing, you've got going on. I believe, getting him to say yes to you, is your job. I have nor agreed to help you at all. I will join you in finding them however, it will give me a chance to see who you are fighting against."
"The angels will not accept you."
"Angels? Like the new age, hippy crap? Do they wear white dresses and have actual halos?"
"We do not have halos."
"You're an angel? Well that's a disappointment. Sure, you're easy on the eyes, but… where're the wings?" Harry asked and Lucifer just glared at him, making Harry sigh and turn back to look at Death. "So, Vegas?"
"I wish to meet with your vessel soon." Harry commented lightly as he and Lucifer wandered past Las Vegas' many casinos, Lucifer sneering at the passing humans, whilst Harry just remained unfeeling towards everyone.
"How do I know that you will not betray me?" Lucifer asked him coolly and Harry rolled his eyes, ignoring the stares his trailing robes and bare feet got him from tourists.
"What is there to betray? Death cannot betray anyone, for it has no allegiances to anyone. Just as Death cannot be betrayed." Harry told him flatly, and let his eyes pass over the bright lights and laughing, drunken mortals, completely unaware of who was passing them.
"I do not feel comfortable with you meeting my vessel. I do not trust you just yet." Lucifer told him and Harry shrugged.
"Then go it alone without the horsemen. To be quite honest, I think this whole Apocalypse tata that you've got going on is pointless anyway. What will it get you?" Harry asked, glancing to the side of Lucifer, who was staring ahead of him.
"Revenge. And then I will make this planet my own paradise." Lucifer told him and Harry chuckled dryly and waved his hand negligently in front of him.
"One man's utopia is another mans dystopia. Who is to say what you view as paradise, is what everyone else sees?" Harry asked, head snapping to the side and eyes narrowing on a passing couple. Harry reached out his hand and gently let it trace over the woman's arm before turning back to Lucifer as though nothing had happened.
"What did you just do?"
"Hmm?" Harry asked, eyes trailing listlessly over random people passing him by.
"To that woman. You trailed your hand over her arm. Why?" Lucifer asked him, calm tone sounding a little forced.
"I marked them. A nearby reaper will sense that and take their souls. They deserve it. They ran over a cat last week and kicked the body to the side of the road." Harry told him simply and Lucifer looked at him with narrowed eyes.
"What is your fascination with cats?" Lucifer asked him and Harry shrugged.
"Don't know. They look down on everyone, to them, everyone is below them, not just a few people here and there. Even their owners are worthy of their time because they feed them. I like that."
"Everyone is below me." Lucifer pointed out and Harry snorted.
"Boy, you look down on me and I'll kick your ass right back in that box of yours. You ain't no cat." Harry told him with a sneer, which only lasted mere seconds.
"What plans do you have?" Lucifer asked him after they had been walking in silence for a few minutes, Harry occasionally reaching out to brush against someone, or dip his hands into someone's pockets or bag.
"Ah ah, we're here to discuss your plans, not mine. My plans are my own. It's part of my… contract. I don't share my plans with anyone. No matter how important they deem themselves to be." Harry told him casually.
"Contract? With who?"
"Whom. And that would be telling. You don't really believe that your God is the be all and end all, do you? What about all those other lovely religions out there? What about the people who don't follow a religion, or make their own up. Though why anyone would make an alien their God, I have yet to work out. Scientologists creep me out." Harry muttered, eyeing a passing man warily. "Actually, all religions disturb me a little. Who would want to put their own fate in the hands of an invisible man or woman in the sky?"
"But I am proof that there is a God. You, yourself, have told me that you have met other Gods and religious beings. So what is not to believe?" Lucifer asked him, growling at a poor teen that had ran into him. Harry snickered and then ran his hand over the teens arm when he helped him up off the ground. Harry then winked at Lucifer and carried on walking.
"I never said anything about believing, I just do not wish to leave my future in the hands of beings I do not know or trust. That, however, is a moot point now. Death doesn't have a future. It doesn't have a past. It just is." Harry stated and titled his head back to look at the darkening sky, Lucifer just glanced over at him, looking contemplative.
"You sound shockingly accepting of having no future." Lucifer pointed out and Harry shrugged awkwardly, head still right back.
"I think that's why we can't feel anything. When you can't feel anything, you can't panic over what is happening. You lose your ability to feel emotions before you work out what you are, normally."
"So there have been other Masters? There is a way to get rid of you?"
"Good try, Luci. No, I'm the only one. Others have tried though, and failed. It was thought to be a myth amongst my people. Apparently it's not." Harry said with a mirthless laugh.
"It would seem not. I will admit, I never knew of a Master of Death. I was quite shocked when you appeared instead of Death." Lucifer admitted and Harry chuckled quietly.
"I can imagine. I was quite shocked myself, actually. No one ever said I could be summoned. Guess I should read your religion's book. Check what it is I'm missing out on. Don't wanna bump into one of the main characters and not know who they are again." Harry said with a wide grin and Lucifer just sighed and glanced skyward. "If you hate him, he's not gonna listen to your prayers to get rid of me."
"I'm asking for patience."
"Still not going to get it."
Harry glanced over at where Lucifer was talking to someone, possibly a demon, Harry wasn't all too sure on the specifics and hierarchy of Hell, and didn't actually care. The point was that Lucifer had other things on his mind and wasn't paying Harry any attention.
Harry smirked and walked into the one room in their suite, closing the door shut behind him. He then walked over to the darkest corner and sucked on his right index finger, before dragging the wet digit down the wall.
"Derek." Harry whispered and took a step back from the wall, grinning when Death stepped through the shadows and tilted his head at him in silent question. "Is it secret? Is it safe?"
"I wish you would tell me the name of the person who introduced you to Lord of the Rings and Discworld." Death told him, giving an exasperated sigh when Harry just smirked at him.
"Why would I do that? You'd just try to take their soul and they're one of the only people I receive solstice presents off of." Harry informed him, then frowned and tapped at his side, as though in thought.
"You called for me?"
"Yes, we need to go speak to someone about this whole Apocalypse shindig. Need to see what they truly think is going on. We both know he is savvy and has ears everywhere. Chances are, he's been expecting us." Harry informed Death, who nodded his head and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"Is he still with you?"
"He is. Let's go. I don't know how long we have. I'll be missed soon enough." Harry informed Death, who nodded and took them both back into the shadows and out of the room.
Harry stepped out of the shadows just in front of Death and glanced around the opulent room he had stepped out in. He whistled lowly and then chuckled when the man sitting at the desk jerked and looked over at him.
"Well, well, I had wondered if I'd be seeing you two again. A master and his bitch. Come to finally smack my hand?" The man asked, standing up form his desk and walking over to them, Harry smirked and raised an eyebrow.
"Now, now, Crowley. That's no way to treat one of the few people who can end your existence, is it?" Harry asked, looking at the King of the Crossroads with muted amusement.
"Sorry. I've been a little… jumpy since this whole Apocalypse thing started. You know how it is." Crowley stated, turning swiftly on his heel and motioning for Harry to follow behind him. "Notice you're still wearing that cloak. Still don't want the number to my tailor?"
"And end up looking like you? We'd be giving people the wrong impression about the British if I did that." Harry told him, following Crowley through the halls of his large house and into a sitting room. Harry then took a seat in the chair Crowley motioned to, and noticed Death moved to stand behind him.
"You don't want people thinking the British are style savvy and well-dressed?" Crowley asked, pouring them both a brandy and handing one glass over to Harry, before moving to sit in the seat opposite him.
"You mean stuffy and uptight? No."
"So you would rather them think we are scruffy and short, with no idea what shoes are?" Crowley asked with a pointed glance at Harry's bare feet.
"No, I prefer unique. And shoes are restricting. I can't feel the souls of the earth when I'm wearing them. You know that, Crowley. By the way, should I be calling you King, since Lilith has kicked the bucket now and all?"
"Did you ever call her 'queen'?"
"Never met her."
"Ah. In which case, yes, yes you should refer to me as either King Crowley or Your Majesty, whichever you feel more comfortable with. You should bow to me as well. And shower me with - actually, I've seen your idea of gifts, just bowing is fine." Crowley told him, with an air of distaste, making Harry smirk at him.
"I'm Death, we don't do bowing." Harry informed him and then his eyes lit up in mischief, making Crowley eye him warily. "What does -"
"if you value your manly parts, I wouldn't finish that sentence. So what are you really here for? We both know that Brits don't actually partake in tea and crumpets, and I don't know about you, but I've never had a cucumber sandwich in my life." Crowley told him, sipping his brandy but never taking his eyes off of Harry.
"Business call. You knew we would be coming. We need to know what you know about this whole Apocalypse thing. How do you think it is going to end? And more importantly, in whose favour? Who do you think we should be backing?" Harry asked and Crowley exhaled heavily, before locking eyes with Harry.
"Your pet, there, is an 'orseman, Harry. For this whole thing to really get star'ed, he's got to join in the welcome parade. You still not read the Bible? I told you it was a good read. Full of angst, death, twists and turns. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry. More to the point though, it'll give a clue as to what Luci is planning." Crowley told him and Harry eyed him and then nodded his head.
"Okay. I'll give it a read. Before you tell us everything, and I do mean everything, you well dressed Del Boy of Hell, I have something I need to inform you." Harry told him, ignoring Crowley's insulted look at the name.
"Go on. And does that make you Rodney?"
"Call me Rodney and I'll castrate your favourite Hellhound. Here's the deal, Crowley, I know how much to like them." Harry said, standing up from his seat and walking to stand in front of Crowley, who just watched him with amusement in his eyes.
"Well, I am a Crossroads Demon, Love."
"Indeed, and here's the deal. You stay out of this war. Don't help either side. Stop contact with the Winchester's and yes, I do know about that, you're not the only one with ears everywhere."
"And if I do that? What's in it for me? If old Luci wins, you know I'll be the first to be gone."
"What I've given you already isn't enough? Fine, I'll ensure, that no matter who wins this war, you will survive it. And I control Death, no one dies if I don't want them to." Harry told him and Crowley narrowed his eyes and then nodded.
"Alright, I'll take a strategic retreat then. I won't help either side and you will ensure that I survive this." Crowley told him and Harry smirked at him, then leant down and pressed a kiss to Crowley's lips.
"You have a deal." Harry told him once he pulled back, licking his lips with a smirk, whilst Crowley just looked amused. Harry then walked back to his seat and sat down, looking at Crowley closely. Now, tell us everything you have learnt of this war. Don't leave anything out, Crowley, I'll know if you do."
Death and Harry returned back to Lucifer a few hours later, to find that Lucifer had finished making whatever plans he had been talking about with the demons, and was waiting for them.
Harry ignored most the fallen angel's questions and only gave vague answers to the ones he did reply to, making Lucifer growl at him in frustration and then drop it. They spent a month travelling to different places in America, occasionally with the aid of Death, sometimes without, but Harry still did not learn the true intentions of Lucifer, and it was beginning to annoy him, just the slightest of bits. He was actually surprised they lasted a month before their unanswered questions finally made them snap.
"That robe you wear, you don't wear anything else other than those trousers and that shirt. Even those, you change occasionally. Normally when I complain about the smell…" Lucifer commented and Harry rolled his eyes, knowing where he was going with this and tugging his robes further around him, remaining curled up in his comfortable chair, reading the copy of the Bible he had 'borrowed' from the nearby cathedral.
"Yes, yes… My hygiene is occasionally brought into question. Is there a point to this? I was just getting to a good bit."
"You're reading the Bible." Lucifer pointed out dryly, and Harry glanced at him and shrugged.
"Your point?"
"It's not a work of fiction." Lucifer told him and Harry snorted and looked at him incredulously.
"You're telling me that a whale, which can only swallow something the size of a melon, swallowed a man… who survived that, might I add, and then beached itself and this man, who was retarded enough to get swallowed by a whale in the first place, had a whole new look on life and decided to be good?" Harry asked him, looking completely unimpressed, whilst Lucifer just gaped at him.
"Possibly not that part."
"And the flood that wiped out everything on the world, bar a man and his family, who also managed to make this amazing arc that fit all the animals of the world on it? And these animals didn't eat one another? Come on! If you're going to try and make it so that it seems realistic… at least make it believable!" Harry stated with a wrinkle of his nose, making Lucifer sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose.
"You were sent to me to torment me, weren't you?"
"All I'm saying, is if this huge flood wiped out nearly all of mankind… there would have been a record of it somewhere…"
"Not if everyone was wiped out." Lucifer pointed out and Harry narrowed his eyes at him and huffed.
"So what? This Noah bloke… he's the starting point of every human on this earth? What about the ones that aren't human? The veela, werewolves, vampires, fairies… what about them? What, did he save two of those as well? And don't even get me started on Moses."
"What could you possibly have against Moses?"
"Who names their child that, to start with? And… it's not plausible. He was a slave! And then just magically does all this shit… and in a book that harps on about witchcraft being bad and all that shit, no one burnt this bloke at the stake? He made water separate! What, that was normal practice in those days?"
"I… Tell me why you are so attached to that robe." Lucifer demanded and Harry sneered at him and ignored the question.
"And why, when AD is all fancy and Latin, is BC boring and… unLatin."
"UnLatin is not a word. Answer my question."
"How would you know? You don't even know who Granny Weatherwax is, for all you know, unLatin is a word now." Harry pointed out, and Lucifer growled and stormed over, snatching the book off of Harry's lap and throwing it to the floor. "Hey!"
"Answer my questions!" Lucifer hissed, grabbing the collar of Harry's robes and dragging him to stand in front of him.
"I like it. It belonged to my father. It's all I have that was his, alright? So I can't feel anything, doesn't mean I can't have a need for mementoes. I've left everything else behind, except my wand and this cloak." Harry told him, gripping onto Lucifer's wrists to keep his balance.
"And a ring."
"What?"
"You gave your servant a ring. I did not hear what you said about it, but he looked to treasure it." Lucifer pointed out and Harry stared at him before he chuckled.
"That? That belongs to Derek. He leant it to me for a while, helps me to get new reapers to listen to me. I was just giving it back to him. The newest reaper knows not to mess with me." Harry told him, moving his hands from Lucifer's wrists and placing them on the man's chest instead, pushing against him gently. "Let me go, Lucifer."
"Tell me how you became Master of Death."
"So that you can kill me? Oh yes, brilliant idea. It isn't going to happen. Now, let me go." Harry said through clenched teeth and Lucifer sneered at him and let go of his robes, making Harry lose his balance and grab onto Lucifer's shirt to regain it.
"I will find out. And when I-" Harry sighed explosively and then surged forward, stopping Lucifer mid sentence by kissing him on the mouth. Harry moved a hand to wrap around Lucifer's neck, deepening the kiss and groaning when Lucifer pulled him closer, gripping his hips tight enough to bruise.
"You going to shut up and release some stress? Or do I need to go out and find someone else to take my frustrations out on?" Harry asked him once he had pulled away, and Lucifer sneered at him.
"You won't need to find someone else." Lucifer informed him and Harry smirked at him, before he trailed his hands across Lucifer's shoulders and slowly began to unbutton his shirt.
"Good. And the robe stays on, by the way." Harry informed him, then deftly undid the rest of the buttons and pushed Lucifer's shirt off of his shoulders. Harry then glanced up at Lucifer, who was just watching him, and moved his hands down to undo Lucifer's trousers, pushing them down his hips. "No kecks? Get you, going commando."
"I will not question you if you promise to be quiet for the rest of the night." Lucifer snarled at him as he stepped out of his trousers, finally moving and grabbing Harry's shoulders and turning him to slam him against the wall.
"You have a deal, and I do enjoy making deals." Harry told him, gasping when Lucifer yanked his trousers down and Harry kicked them away just as Lucifer stepped to stand between his legs. Harry grinned at him and then pressed his lips to Lucifer's once more, opening his mouth and moaning when Lucifer thrust his tongue in, and began to forcefully map out Harry's mouth. Harry groaned and wrapped an arm around Lucifer's neck, when Lucifer lifted him and made him wrap his legs around his waist, causing their erections to brush.
Harry arched into Lucifer and grabbed Lucifer's right hand with his free hand, and pulled back slightly, muttering something, then gasping and throwing his head back when Lucifer growled and dipped his head to nip at his neck. Harry soon felt Lucifer move his hand to begin to prepare him with the lube Harry had conjured and immediately thrust two fingers into him, causing Harry to jerk and cry out, revelling in the feeling of lust coursing through his veins from the stimulation.
It wasn't soon after that Lucifer removed his fingers and then shifted and thrust into Harry forcefully, whilst biting on Harry's neck, making Harry yell out in mixed pain and pleasure. Harry shifted and arched against Lucifer, tightening his legs around Lucifer's hips as Lucifer tightly gripped his hips and began to thrust into him vigorously. Harry moaned at the pained pleasure he was feeling, and tugged at Lucifer's hair, pulling the man away from his neck and moving to bite at Lucifer's bottom lip.
Lucifer growled and tightened his hold on Harry's hips, as his thrusts became faster and deeper, then pressed his lips to Harry's so hard that Harry tasted blood from where his lips were cut by his teeth. Harry whined in the back of his throat, feeling the pleasure building up at each thrust and removed his hand from Lucifer's hair to wrap his hand around his own, neglected penis.
Harry pulled away from Lucifer's lips and let his head fall back against the wall as he began to feel his climax rise up from his toes and closed his eyes, crying out as his orgasm crashed through him. He stiffened and arched against Lucifer, who quickened his own thrusts, before grunting his own release and leant against Harry, pinning him to the wall as they both tried to regain their breath.
When Harry began to get the feeling in his limbs back, he fidgeted against Lucifer to make him move and hissed when Lucifer pulled out of him and let his legs drop back to the floor. Harry waved his hand, cleaning them both up and then bent down to pick up and pull on his trousers.
"You were good. We should do that again sometime. Now, I need to go see a man about a dog. Speak to you later, Sweetie-Pie." Harry told Lucifer, who had grabbed his own trousers whilst Harry was sorting himself out.
"At least you do not expect to hug." Lucifer sneered and Harry smirked at him.
"Do I strike you as someone that likes to cuddle?" Harry asked him, and frowned as he patted his pockets and then looked around the room in confusion. "Where is -"
"I don't care." Lucifer said, looking a little wild-eyed as he shot a suspicious glanced to the corner of the room.
"Whatever, I'll be back when I'm back. Don't wait up and have dinner on the table for when I'm back, Woman!" Harry told him, smirking when Lucifer growled at him, then stepping back into the shadows and disappearing from the room.
"If he can do it himself, why does he insist on making myself or Death take him everywhere?" Lucifer asked aloud, not getting, but not expecting, an answer and then sighing and turning to leave the room.
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