Comments | smoochy_ryoko: APH US/UK Fic: Jay Bird 3/3

smoochy_ryoko

APH US/UK Fic: Jay Bird 3/3

Jan 22, 2011 11:09

Jay Bird

An APH US/UK story by Diane Long

Previous Chapters: 1, 2

Chapter 3 of 3

Alfred followed England out of the dining room and up the dimly lit stairs to a smaller than expected room whose walls were covered with books. There was just enough room for a cozy seating nook with two burgundy leather couches facing each other in front of a hot coal ( Read more... )

aph, fanfic, us/uk

Comments 12

otoshigo January 22 2011, 17:56:45 UTC

Aww, this is sweet and a little sad. Very enjoyable though. ^__^ Although I have to giggle a little at England trying to make sure America's well liquored.

smoochy_ryoko January 22 2011, 18:06:00 UTC

Hee hee! More like England is trying to liquor himself up- he knows he will be less tetchy if he is buzzed. So glad you enjoyed... it was tougher working roses into this chapter, but I did it! ;-)

lovelycudy January 22 2011, 20:10:59 UTC

I got teary eyed, tbqh. Beautiful story and I love the deleted scene.

smoochy_ryoko January 23 2011, 17:12:38 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad he emotions shone though like I wanted them to. I edited this into the ground - so much so that I was dead to any of the emotions in the fic by the end. Glad they were still there! *Smiles* I'm glad you enjoyed the gaslight;-)

aerith1992 January 22 2011, 20:46:28 UTC

I like so much this fanfiction! The relationship between Alfred and Arthur is so strange now, but they also care a bit for each other. Arthur's pride of Alfred is one of the things I liked the best!

smoochy_ryoko January 23 2011, 17:10:40 UTC

Thanks for dropping me a note! It made my day! I'm glad the England's pride worked for you... I wasn't so sure about it... I liked it, but wondered if it was a a little to premature. Only 20 years have passed since the revolution and it could have been too soon. But my take is if you really love someone, even if they break your heart, its hard to completely stop loving them. Its always there, even if its only a seed, waiting for the chance to grow again.

ladysatmav January 22 2011, 23:15:36 UTC

See, this? This. This is how I want to write. This is what I want to read when I pay nine friggin bucks for a new poular novel. (Related: This is what I don't get when I buy a new book.) This ... is ...

Awesome.

*slow clap*

smoochy_ryoko January 23 2011, 17:07:15 UTC

My goodness.... you are too,too, too kind. Thank you so much for the praise. I put lots of effort into my stories - counting the research and obsessive editing, I bet this one had over 40 hours in it, all told. I enjoy the process in and of itself and would still do it, even if no one commented, but to know someone enjoyed it.... well it's just the best feeling in the world. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

kasumicc January 23 2011, 07:25:07 UTC

Oh, I liked very much how you did the transition. It was kind of amusing to see Arthur's insistence for Alfred to drink something xD Anyways, it was really nice to see how they managed to change the tone of their conversation and even healed some wounds in the process. Lovely work! And thanks for sharing that alternative scene :)

smoochy_ryoko January 23 2011, 17:03:55 UTC

Thanks for commenting! I'm glad the transition worked for you.... I labored and angsted over it every day for the last week or so. The first draft was just awful! I started this fic the week of Christmas and the last chapter was giving me fits from the start. The alternative scene is a good peak into how much it wasn't working ;-)

As far as the drinking goes...hee hee. England is a lush and the he knows if he is going to get through the evening without blowing it he will need to tie a few on quickly. Alfred on the other hand, being so close to his puritan roots in this time period, is a very moderate drinker. Arthur is used to the other European nations knocking it back as quickly as he can so is a little surprised at how slow America is going.