APH US/UK Fic: Jay Bird 2/3

[smoochy_ryoko]

Jay Bird

An APH US/UK story by Diane Long

Previous Chapters: 1

Chapter 2 of 3

“This way, Sir.” The butler guided Alfred through the dining room door and to the foot of a long and narrow table where he pulled out a fragile looking cherry chair for him. It barely seemed able to support the weight of its own carved curlicues.

Alfred cooperated

Comments

[fmptard]

hooray~ you really know what you're doing!
(oh, the joys of someone who doesn't quote innaccuracies...)

*hopes that came out as complimentary as it sounded in my head*

[smoochy_ryoko]

Yay! Someone who appreciated all of my research. I'm sure I missed something, but I tried soooo hard to keep the anachronisms OUT. ;-) I wanted so badly for there to be gas lighting, but it is still a bit too early, so gas lamps it is. It gets a hello in chapter three as someone in England is well on the way to inventing them. ;-) Why I got so fixated on this I will never know( orz ). Thanks so much for commenting - I don't get very many comments and they make me so happy! I write for the fun of it, but knowing that people are enjoying my stories makes it even better!

[fmptard]

you deserve it. you've done very well to keep it simultaneously realistic and entertaining (AND - holy shit - in-character). the only thing i can think of that you might've excluded is period language (but i in no way begrudge you that. the research would take months and half the readers wouldn't understand anymore).

ah... but all this decorum makes me twitch for a different reason.
y so srs, Iggy? XD

[smoochy_ryoko]

*Grins*

He is so serious because manners is how the British cope, you know. It is that great breachless wall to hide behind when conflict or discomfort looms.

[lovelycudy]

This is really good. I really like how you didn't skip over the flaws in America's system and the French Revolution.

When America put the napkin on his collar I actually cringed, ngl.

Very interesting story, I'm really enjoying it.

[smoochy_ryoko]

Hooray! I am so glad you are enjoying. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment, as I mentioned above it makes me so thrilled to know people are reading my stories. *HUG*

Poor America is trying so hard. He still loves England and wants to look his best.

[descrime]

Hee! I love all the history in this. It really makes America and England authentic sounding. ^^

[smoochy_ryoko]

Thanks for the second comment - you are spoiling me! I hope the dinner scene lived up to your expectations ;-) I learned tons writing this, it was really fun. I knew I was getting obsessed when I starting researching asparagus! LOL! Chapter three is almost done, I am not happy with it, so am still tinkering.

[kasumicc]

I'm really, really enjoying this fic. I could dare to say America's way more of a gentleman than what England currently is! And their passive-aggressive quarrels were just brilliant. But really, I wonder if it's possible for this to end any well? xD

[smoochy_ryoko]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I'm glad America's better manners are showing through here. He is trying SO VERY hard here. Part because he is on his bestest behaviors and part because he really wants this evening to work so he can rebuild a friendship with Iggy. As for Iggy- its hard to show since this is not in his POV, he is just as nervy about the whole affair, and it leads him to lose it in this chappie.

Glad you liked the quarrels- they were so much fin to write!

My challenge with the ending is that in the draft it is working out well and I am not so sure that is realistic. England, the more mature of the two when he isn't melting down has risen to the occasion, but I'm not so sure I like it. So I am busily tweaking.

[otoshigo]

I felt my heart just twinge a little when America was tearing up. Poor thing~! T__T *pets*

:D I'm so glad my work happened to inspire this! Great job! ^__^ And thank you for the roses. :)

[smoochy_ryoko]

Yippee - you read it! *TWIRLS*

I'm glad you seem to be enjoying it. More roses appear in chapter three!

Thanks again for all you do for us! XOXOXOXOXO