[Fic:] Always watching you, even if it's devastating me

[smirkingcat]

Title: Always watching you, even if it's devastating me
Author:smirkingcat
Pairing: Charlie/Draco
Rating: PG
Word Count: 913
Summary:As much as Charlie wishes he could look away, his eyes are always fixed upon Draco.
Warnings :mentions of killing
Notes:this was written for hp_creatures's picture prompt
many thanks to digthewriter for the fast and amazing beta-read, without her there

Comments

[capitu]

That was beautiful and sad and very poetical. I love the way Charlie loves Draco. Loved it. <3

[smirkingcat]

thank you for reading and commenting!
and you even liked it *happy grin*
<3
i tried a new style - without any dialogue and all
i'm happy to read that it comes across as poetical (i really tried very hard)
and charlie just cant help himself <3

[_melodic_]

Wow!! This was so beautiful and haunting!! I loved seeing everything through Charlie's eyes, all his conflict and pain and involuntary love. Very dark but so compelling!! And a siren! What a great creature to go for!

[smirkingcat]

what a compliment you made me
*blushes*
thank you so much!
and thanks for calling it haunting and dark- i tried to make it dark and i'm so happy to read that it worked for you
and luck was with me for the siren- i read some old folk tails of austria and germany and there are many sirens of the rivers in these stories- and with charlie in romania the danube with its huge delta right there called for a siren!
i'm very please to read it worked so well for you!
thank you !

[piratesmile331]

This is hauntingly beautiful.

[smirkingcat]

<3
thanks for the read and for commenting
i'm very happy that this was to your liking

[firethesound]

Oh, this was really lovely. Haunting and eerie and a little bit unsettling, getting to see all of this through Charlie's eyes and how Draco's so dangerous but how he's careful to not even glance in Charlie's direction. So beautiful, and I adored you last line: "Love, even as volatile and as unwelcome as I experience it from time to time, shares dark secrets and only grows stronger upon them." This whole things was gorgeous. <3

[smirkingcat]

i... i.... i cant even- will come back later but for now i just - cant *blushes and goes doing the happy dance

[digthewriter]

I really like some of the changes you made after I'd read it.

Nearly everyone calls a blue moon a rare occurrence. Or they use the phrase 'once in a blue moon' to make clear how unlikely something is to happen, how magical it is when it does happen.

This flows beautifully. Such great imagery and poetry.

But my own experience is far less beautiful and way more volatile.

I usually don't like first person pov but the fact that there's no dialogue in this story makes it bloody brilliant.

You have done an amazing job w/ this little story. I really like it a lot. I love Draco's hunger, his shame from Charlie, Charlie's desire to watch him and still love him, no matter what.

Really amazing. So much power in this story with just 900 words. Keep it up!

Thanks for letting me read it over and taking in my suggestions, and not hating me for all the corrections. And most of all, thanks for sharing this story.

[smirkingcat]

<3
i say thank you so much for your help! it flows way better the way you suggested it- and it totally helped me when you pointed out where i lost you (and then i got a little help from someone who already is familiar with my weird expressions in english and helped me put it together again- so i cant take full credit for the beginning, it was a triple effort starting with you! thank you!

and i totally know what you mean about first pov- it was really weird writing first pov- but i like it a lot this way and i'm happy to read it worked for you!

<3 your work was most helpful so thank from my side! really your suggestions were amazing!
and sharing is totally my pleasure <3

thanks for the read and the awesome nice comment! *made my day*
*goes and does the happy dance*