Fic: Scheduled Maintenance (Gen, Radek)
Title: Scheduled Maintenance.
Author: Smallwaldo
Words: 398
Written for: atlantis_lvw (and it didn't get me voted off the island. Yay!)
Rating: G
Pairing: None (yes, Waldo. wrote something for SGA that's totally Gen)
Disclaimer: I'm both Russian and German. So I'm only picking on myself.
Summary: Radek's having a 'headdesk' kind of day.
A/N: Thank you to the beta crew! Czech translation by i_icie. Muchas Gracias to all of you.
Scheduled Maintenance
Radek was debating introducing his skull to a hard surface.
His first repair call had come from Sergeant Schott, the German that someone with a twisted sense of humor had recently put in charge of the armory.
“It is September First. Dein computer is asking me to change password, but will not let me change password,” Schott explained.
“Show me,” Radek said, indicating the laptop on the desk.
“It says, ‘Type new password’ so I type new password.”
Radek watched as the privacy asterisks appeared as Schott typed.
“Then it says: ‘type new password again’”
Radek watched as the line of asterisks grew longer than the first one. “You are not entering same password twice.”
“No, I am doing as the computer says. I am typing ‘new password’ and ‘new password again’. Yes?”
“No,” Zelenka said quietly, shaking his head while entering on his repair log, “Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.”
He showed him how to correctly enter a new password then went back to the software update installations from the SGC and replacing a few bits of hardware. The rest of the morning, thankfully, passed without incident.
After lunch he wanted to insist someone work up spectacular translation algorithms so everyone could work in their native language. He couldn’t believe it when the Russian botanist, Nesaule, called him because she couldn’t find the ‘any’ key when the prompt ‘hit any key to continue’ came up.
He refrained from entering “Computer is fine, user is Russian.”
At dinner he was pleased to find a friendly face in the crowd.
“Carson,” he said brightly, indicating the empty chair across from him.
“Ah Radek, perfect. I know you’re eating, but can I ask you a question?” Carson pointed at the tablet he was staring at.
“Certainly.”
“I keep getting this message, ‘you have performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.’ Now I know some of what we do out here isn’t exactly approved by any medical authority but how does the computer know what kind of operations I’m doing? Is it reading my charts?”
Radek rolled his eyes.
This time his log read, "computer is broken, user is having bad day."
So at the end of the day, using low-tech paper and a Sharpie he hung a sign on his door. “Computer technician down for scheduled maintenance. Will be back on-line by eight a.m. tomorrow.”
_________
“Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.” - "computer is fine, user is stupid."
Author: Smallwaldo
Words: 398
Written for: atlantis_lvw (and it didn't get me voted off the island. Yay!)
Rating: G
Pairing: None (yes, Waldo. wrote something for SGA that's totally Gen)
Disclaimer: I'm both Russian and German. So I'm only picking on myself.
Summary: Radek's having a 'headdesk' kind of day.
A/N: Thank you to the beta crew! Czech translation by i_icie. Muchas Gracias to all of you.
Scheduled Maintenance
Radek was debating introducing his skull to a hard surface.
His first repair call had come from Sergeant Schott, the German that someone with a twisted sense of humor had recently put in charge of the armory.
“It is September First. Dein computer is asking me to change password, but will not let me change password,” Schott explained.
“Show me,” Radek said, indicating the laptop on the desk.
“It says, ‘Type new password’ so I type new password.”
Radek watched as the privacy asterisks appeared as Schott typed.
“Then it says: ‘type new password again’”
Radek watched as the line of asterisks grew longer than the first one. “You are not entering same password twice.”
“No, I am doing as the computer says. I am typing ‘new password’ and ‘new password again’. Yes?”
“No,” Zelenka said quietly, shaking his head while entering on his repair log, “Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.”
He showed him how to correctly enter a new password then went back to the software update installations from the SGC and replacing a few bits of hardware. The rest of the morning, thankfully, passed without incident.
After lunch he wanted to insist someone work up spectacular translation algorithms so everyone could work in their native language. He couldn’t believe it when the Russian botanist, Nesaule, called him because she couldn’t find the ‘any’ key when the prompt ‘hit any key to continue’ came up.
He refrained from entering “Computer is fine, user is Russian.”
At dinner he was pleased to find a friendly face in the crowd.
“Carson,” he said brightly, indicating the empty chair across from him.
“Ah Radek, perfect. I know you’re eating, but can I ask you a question?” Carson pointed at the tablet he was staring at.
“Certainly.”
“I keep getting this message, ‘you have performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.’ Now I know some of what we do out here isn’t exactly approved by any medical authority but how does the computer know what kind of operations I’m doing? Is it reading my charts?”
Radek rolled his eyes.
This time his log read, "computer is broken, user is having bad day."
So at the end of the day, using low-tech paper and a Sharpie he hung a sign on his door. “Computer technician down for scheduled maintenance. Will be back on-line by eight a.m. tomorrow.”
_________
“Poíta je v poádku, uivatel je hloup.” - "computer is fine, user is stupid."