Science of Fear, Paradigm Shift - Part One of Two
Title: Science of Fear, Paradigm Shift (13/15)
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
Dylan would be lying if she said school on Monday wasn’t awkward. Word was just starting to spread about her breakup with Brittany and she hadn’t talked to the girl since Friday. Not to mention the surprises she found Sunday morning when she was taking a shower. She reminded herself to never have sex with Santana Lopez again, though she had never actually planned to in the first place. But none the less, the next morning she had found numerous bruises and scratch marks she would now have to cover up.
Though she hadn’t cheated on Brittany, due to their sudden break-up, Dylan still felt uncomfortable with what had happened between her and Santana. How would Brittany react and would Santana tell her about it right away? There was no way to tell but when Dylan saw Brittany walking towards her in the morning she felt her heart drop.
Brittany truly was beautiful and it pained her knowing she was no longer hers when all she wanted to do was run up to her and kiss her. But no, that would be cruel, not only to herself but to Brittany as well. There was no way Brittany would every truly be hers and she saw that now. So she needed to let her go, she needed to stay away from her in order to do so. She turned back to face her locker, willing the blonde didn’t come her way.
“Hey,” she heard the soft whisper against her ear and she tensed. Her wish had not been granted.
“Brittany,” she acknowledged over her shoulder.
“Dylan,” her voice was pleading, “Dylan, please look at me.”
Dylan turned to face Brittany and she saw the empty hurt in her eyes, “What is it, Britt?” Dylan asked tiredly.
Brittany opened her mouth to speak but dropped her shoulders when no words came out. She instead opted for looking up at Dylan from under hooded eyes, silently begging for something.
“Britt… I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Dylan tried to explain.
“But! Can’t we at least be friends, I miss you, D,” Brittany begged.
Dylan sighed, “Maybe at some point, Britt. But right now… I have to be alone. I can’t be around you right now.”
“But why?” the blonde asked.
“Because I have to get over you, Britt. It’s not fair for both of us.”
“But…”
“No, Britt,” Dylan cutes her off and takes a deep breath. “Listen, you love her, and that’s okay, I understand, but because you love her, you can’t love me and I need some time to get over you, okay? So please, just… just go,” Dylan finishes, hunching her shoulders.
Brittany doesn’t say anything else. She just hangs her head and grips her binder tighter across her chest before turning to leave. This wasn’t going to be easy and Dylan knew it. She had three classes with the girl and Glee club afterwards. She was suddenly grateful that is was spring. Softball season was officially in swing and they were having longer and harder practices. And since Dylan was the only member of the team who was in Glee club, her coach wasn’t exactly accepting of her missing practices to go singing. So she was only allowed to attend rehearsals twice a week from now on. And yeah it sucked, but it would help her maintain a distance between herself and a certain two cheerios.
When Dylan walked into her first period class, she was surprised to see that Brittany and Santana were still seated on opposite sides of the room. She reconsidered though and realized this was the most likely situation. She hadn’t spoken to Santana since Saturday but she was certain she had seen the girl at some of her most vulnerable and Santana was probably freaking out over it. One glancing gaze she caught from the Latina confirmed her theory as Dylan saw the panic that flashed across her face.
Santana slumped down in her chair and attempted to avoid any sort of interaction with her, or Brittany for that matter, and Dylan just dropped her chin and shook her head. She chanced a quick peek at Brittany and saw her lazily doodling on her notebook and looking generally depressed. So Dylan just plopped down and dug out her own notebook and waited expectantly for Mr. Schuester to begin the class. He glanced up from his desk and Dylan could see the confusion on his face as he observed the sporadic location of their seats, yes this was definitely going to be a challenge.
Art class proved to be the most difficult to get through, just as Dylan had perceived. Brittany and her used to share a table in the back and work on their projects together. It had been that way since her first day of classes and frankly, she didn’t have any other friends in that class. So she was forced to take her normal spot and avoid Brittany’s puppy dog stares for the entire period. By the time the bell rang, Dylan had bolted from the room, not even allowing Brittany any time to make even a peep before she left.
The first day had been hard, but as the week progressed things seemed to get better. Dylan suddenly realized she had a lot more homework than she used to, so all of her free time was spent doing that instead of pondering about Brittany and their failed relationship. The softball team had a big game coming up at the end of the week and that also helped take her mind off things. The only real time she had to think about Brittany, and Santana for that matter, was in class and in Glee club.
Dylan barely paid attention during her first rehearsal of the week. She spent the entire time sitting in the back row and observing the members around her. She watched as Santana took a seat to the bottom right, at least three chairs away from anyone else, and shifted uncomfortably. When Brittany came in, she first started walking towards the Latina, only to veer away at the last second and take a seat next to Kurt instead. The small boy offered the blonde his arm and she excepted with a sad smile before looking over her shoulder at the distant Latina. Kurt whispered something into her ear and Brittany nodded, turning back to face the front of the choir room.
She watched as Finn came walking in with Rachel on his arm. He looked happy but she grew confused when he gave Santana a sympathizing look as he walked past her. Dylan saw Santana smile briefly at him, eyes acknowledging.
Dylan had always suspected Santana’s relationship with Finn was a little strange. It had happened so suddenly and right after Santana had admitted she loved Brittany the first time. There was no way she would suddenly have a change of heart and walk back in twenty minutes later with a boy on her arm who she claimed to be dating.
They had made it seem believable enough. It actually disgusted Dylan at how much Santana seemed to cling to Finn. It was almost as though he was her lifeboat and without him, she would sink down into oblivion. She practically smothered the boy, but what Dylan found most strange was the manner in which Finn accepted all of Santana’s actions.
It was as though they were each 100% aware of what the other was doing, whatever that was, and they were perfectly okay with it. It was as though Finn knew he was the only thing keeping Santana from breaking down and he held on just as tightly.
Dylan knew something was up after her fight with Santana in the hallway. She had spent enough time with Rachel to know that Finn hated cheaters above everything else in his life. That’s why he had broken up with Rachel, and that was just over a kiss. But this time, Santana had slept with someone else, and had practically admitted it to half the school, yet Finn just shrugged it off as though it was his idea in the first place.
And now, less than a week later, and Finn was back with Rachel. Dylan was sure Santana didn’t care, because she was in love with Brittany and probably wasn’t all that interested in dating Finn in the first place. But the look of approval and pride in the Latina’s eyes was difficult to interpret. Santana had denied Finn being a beard, but that seemed like the most rational explanation. She was scared, and Dylan knew that. And she had heard of people using beards to appear straight before, so it was not out of the ordinary.
She wouldn’t ask Santana about it though. That was not her place and she had meant what she had told the Latina; she was sorry for what she put her through. It was rude of her to force Santana to come out the way she did. If she wasn’t ready, than she wasn’t ready and Dylan wasn’t going to tease her about it anymore.
It took the better part of the week until Dylan finally felt a weight lift from her shoulder. The days started blending into each other and though she still missed Brittany’s company like hell, she was starting to feel normal again without her. Well, at least when she was with other people, but she was getting better. She had found another table to sit at during art class and maintained her distance in their remaining classes. Dylan could tell Brittany was still feeling awkward about it, but endured Dylan’s wishes to be left alone. She was spending more time with Kurt now, the two of them seemed to be two peas in a pod and that made Dylan smile.
Santana, on the other hand, had grown attached to Quinn’s hip, always staying a step behind the head cheerleader and in her shadows rather than in front with her head held high the way she used to. There were a few moments when she caught Brittany glancing at Santana and holding her gaze before the Latina shied away behind Quinn.
By the end of the week she had spotted Brittany talking to Quinn after softball practice one day as she walked past the football field where the Cheerios were practicing. There was no way she would be able to hear what the two blonde were discussing but it looked as though Quinn was consoling Brittany so Dylan just turns and treks her way towards the locker room.
The weekend was not as painful as she thought it was going to be. She had informed her father of her breakup with Brittany and she was grateful for having him. He didn’t ask questions but attempted to find ways to distract her and help in any way. And any way included taking her to multiple car dealerships seeing that her birthday was right around the corner and she would in fact, finally be joining the army of teenage drivers. By the time the weekend was over, Dylan hadn’t even realized it had passed.
They had checked every dealership in Lima and picked out a few possibilities. It wouldn’t be for a few weeks yet and Dylan still had to actually get her license, but her test was coming up soon so what time wasn’t spent shopping for cars was spend in Puck’s truck as her took her driving around to practice. He was a shit teacher, but it was fun none-the-less and it helped her forget unwanted memories. So a weekend of cars and Super Smash Bros. turned out to be a pretty good remedy for a mending heart and Dylan felt rejuvenated by the time she walked into McKinley on Monday.
She met up with Puck and Lauren by her locker in the morning and leaned against the cold metal as he ranted on about their epic battle this weekend to his girlfriend. Dylan smirked and pretended to listen. Her eyes had caught a glimpse of Santana walking down the hall towards them alone. She was looking slightly better than she had been, Dylan noted. And by slightly better she really meant nothing had changed. Perhaps she held her head a bit higher but otherwise she looked down right miserable.
Dylan heard a familiar laugh and she turned to look at Brittany walking towards them from the opposite direction with Kurt. She couldn’t help but smile at the blonde, knowing she was doing alright. Even though it had been her who had cheated, Dylan still cared about her and never wanted to hurt the girl. She had come to realize though that she wouldn’t be the one to make Brittany happy and therefore needed to leave.
Brittany looked up at her as she drew closer and gave her a light smile before Dylan saw her eyes flash past her, face dropping. Dylan turned to follow her gaze and wasn’t surprised to see that Brittany had spotted Santana. The Latina had halted where a second hallway intersected theirs and was standing awkwardly against the wall.
The longing glance Santana flashed at the blonde quickly before turning her face made Dylan’s heart ache. It was weird; Dylan was still hurting from losing Brittany to Santana but the pain she saw in Santana’s eyes seemed to be so much greater than hers. She watched as Brittany and Kurt walked slowly past Santana where she stood limp against the wall, almost as though she would collapse without it being there. Brittany’s eyes bore into the smaller girl and Dylan looked on. She was snapped out of her musings by Puck waving his hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention.
She turned and smiled at him, nodding, before glancing quickly back at Santana who was now turned in the direction Brittany had disappeared from. After a few moments, Santana turned down the adjacent hallway and disappeared.
Brittany had attempted to start a few conversations with her over the week, coming up to sit next to her in art class or in Glee club. But each one ended with Dylan feeling slightly emptier due to Brittany’s pale complexion and less than cheerful stature. Each brief encounter left Dylan wishing there was something she could do to make the girl happy again. But she knew delving into any sort of relationship with Brittany, even a friendly one, this soon after their break up was a bad idea. She couldn’t give Brittany what she needed, and it was best if she just stayed away.
So the week dragged on, similar to the previous one, filled with copious amounts of homework, excessive practices and longing glances between two particular cheerleaders and herself. It was as though they had started their own secret language that didn’t need speaking. Brittany would look at her with sympathy before moving on to stare not so subtly at a certain Latina while Dylan was left to catch the painfully sad stares Santana was tossing back at the blonde. Santana still hadn’t spoken to her yet but their occasional staring contests were getting more and more frequent as well as lasting longer. It was as though Santana was speaking to Dylan in her head before turning down and focusing on something else.
She had witnessed Brittany attempt to approach Santana by their lockers one afternoon before Glee club and she secretly watched them out of the corner of her eye. Santana looked as though she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and mumbled some inaudible response before scampering off towards the choir room. Brittany had turned around to find Dylan staring at her and she soon started slowly in the direction the Latina had gone in.
Though she had yet to witness another Santana cornering, she was certain they had happened. Perhaps in the Cheerios locker room, or during one of Sue’s legendary workouts, but none the less they seemed to have fallen into a grove in order to just get by.
Thursday rolled around and Dylan found herself sitting alone in the library during her free period. This time used to be spent helping Brittany with her homework and generally goofing off, but now there was no room for that. Dylan sat and worked on her math problems as she avoided staring at the blonde cheerleader who was walking aimlessly amongst the bookshelves, occasionally stopping to pull a book off the shelf and flip through it. She must have failed at it because soon she heard someone come up besides her and call her back to reality.
Her eyes watered slightly when she blinked, apparently she hadn’t been blinking either as she absentmindedly gazed at Brittany on the other side of the room.
“I’m sorry, what?” Dylan asked, realizing the person next to her had said something.
“We never stood a chance, you know?” it was Artie’s voice that penetrated her thoughts and she turned her head to look at him.
“Huh?”
“With Brittany,” he said, nodding his head in the blonde’s direction.
“Oh,” Dylan sighed keeping her voice low, “How do you mean?”
Artie shrugged and wheeled up to the table next to Dylan and rested his elbows on it, “We weren’t the missing piece of the puzzle.”
Dylan sat back in her chair and openly stared at Brittany now. Everything about their relationship had felt right up until she had overheard Brittany’s conversation with Kurt in the auditorium.
“I guess I figured it out once you came around,” the boy next to her whispered.
“I sorry, Artie, I never meant to hurt anyone,” Dylan admitted.
“No, it’s okay. I kinda figured it would happen,” she said turning to look at her, “I guess I was just surprised it happened with you.”
“What is that suppose to mean?” Dylan asked, sitting up straighter in her chair.
“No offense to you, Dylan, but do you feel like you and her belonged together?” he asked harshly.
Dylan slumped back in her chair and thought for a moment before answering. “I used too,” she admitted, “but I guess I understand now that we didn’t.”
Artie nodded and turned to look at Brittany as well. “That’s my point. Neither of us had a chance with her from the start. We’re just not what she’s looking for.”
“But she’s exactly what I was looking for,” Dylan admitted, feeling a sharp pain in her chest.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, look at her!” Dylan exclaimed quietly, “I mean, why did you date her then?”
The boy shrugged and rolled back and forth slightly in his chair, “She asked me out first.”
Dylan arched an eyebrow in his direction, “You’re kidding right?”
Artie gave her a chiseled stare, “what? Is it too hard to believe that a girl like Brittany would want to date a guy like me?”
Dylan didn’t answer, just stared at him.
Artie held her gaze for a while before finally breaking it and chuckling lightly, shaking his head, “yeah I know, it is.”
“So what, she just suddenly came up and asked you out?” Dylan was curious now, she had never really spoken to Artie about his relationship with Brittany. When they first met, they had been dating for a few months already and Dylan just accepted it. Then, once Brittany dumped him for her, they hadn’t been on a good page with one another.
“Well, it was a bit random, but she wanted to partner with me in a duets competition we were having. I was still into Tina at that point and figured it would be a good way to get her jealous.”
“That’s a bit fucked up, don’t you think?”
He shrugged again, “I mean, it was just a duet.”
“So what happened?”
“Oh, well, um let’s just say she helped me get over Tina,” he said sheepishly.
“Oh,” Dylan said in disgust, turning away, “sorry I asked.”
“And then I broke up with her…”
“What?” Dylan snapped her head back towards the boy again.
“Yeah, something Santana told me about her just using me and not actually wanting to be with me.”
“Something Santana told you?” Dylan turned to face the table directly across the room from her where Santana was hunched over her own school work. “That wasn’t suspicious to you?”
“No, not really… it was Santana,” he said as though just announcing her name explained everything. Dylan just furrowed her eyebrows.
“So then why did you get back together with her?” she asked. Even without the full story, Dylan was pretty certain Santana had gotten Artie to break up with Brittany out of jealously, so why would she allow them to get back together?
Artie laughed to himself a bit too haughtily before answering, “you’ve slept with her, right? I mean, who wouldn’t tap that?”
Dylan looked him in disgust, “You’re fucking kidding right?”
“Well, it was definitely part of the reason, but then I realized I actually liked her a lot. I was so surprised she had chosen me though.”
“Yeah, cause you’re kinda a jerk,” Dylan pointed out seriously as she crossed her arms.
She saw Artie clench his jaw briefly, “Well I’m surprised she left me for you.”
“Yeah you already said that,” Dylan pointed out snidely, “What’s that suppose to mean anyway? Is it so difficult to believe that girls can be attracted to other girls, and actually mean it? We’re not here solely for the entertainment of men, you know.”
“Well, no, it’s not hard to believe. Anymore at least, you two actually helped me understand that. But no, I just assumed she would leave me for Santana.”
Dylan felt her body tense at his words, “Sorry?”
“Well we all knew about their past. It was an accident when Brittany let it slip but once it was out it kinda made sense. They were best friends and even though Santana was sleeping around, they were never exclusively with anyone else.”
“But I thought you just said it was me and Brittany who made you realize two girls could be together like that…”
“You did,” he answered, turning his chair to face Dylan more directly. “All we knew about their relationship is that they had hooked up. And they would hook up in front of people, on double dates or at parties. They were the ones who were actually playing the ‘entertainment’ card for a while.”
“Then why did you figure she would leave you for her?”
“They were always Brittany and Santana, and nobody else, like they just fit together even if they weren’t together.”
“Brittany and Santana,” Dylan mumbled to herself. It was a term she had heard mentioned a few times over the last couple of weeks. Similar to the way Artie had sated the Latina’s name, it was as though just uttering the pair of names together provided a solution to all problems.
“I mean, just look at them,” Artie whispered and Dylan was broken form her musings.
Her head snapped up and she realized that Brittany had stopped wondering around the library and taken a seat next to Santana. She was rapidly showing the small girl something in a book and Dylan could tell Santana was tense by her posture, but the look she saw on the Latina’s face almost made her heart break.
She was looking at Brittany with such adoration and lovingness. There was a sparkle in Brittany’s blue eyes, one Dylan remembered seeing early on in their relationship, but somehow this one was different. There was an underlying love beneath it and it made Dylan realize what Artie and everyone else meant by ‘Brittany and Santana’.
“I never had a chance…” Dylan reiterated to herself.
“None of us did,” Artie agreed besides her.
And that’s when it hit her. As she watched Santana’s nervous posture and Brittany’s loving gaze; they were in love with each other. They were in love with each other and they didn’t even know it. In fact, Dylan was pretty sure she was the only person who had received testimonies form each girl admitting their love for one another. Artie was right, she wasn’t the right puzzle piece for Brittany, but she knew who was.
Part Two of Two
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
Dylan would be lying if she said school on Monday wasn’t awkward. Word was just starting to spread about her breakup with Brittany and she hadn’t talked to the girl since Friday. Not to mention the surprises she found Sunday morning when she was taking a shower. She reminded herself to never have sex with Santana Lopez again, though she had never actually planned to in the first place. But none the less, the next morning she had found numerous bruises and scratch marks she would now have to cover up.
Though she hadn’t cheated on Brittany, due to their sudden break-up, Dylan still felt uncomfortable with what had happened between her and Santana. How would Brittany react and would Santana tell her about it right away? There was no way to tell but when Dylan saw Brittany walking towards her in the morning she felt her heart drop.
Brittany truly was beautiful and it pained her knowing she was no longer hers when all she wanted to do was run up to her and kiss her. But no, that would be cruel, not only to herself but to Brittany as well. There was no way Brittany would every truly be hers and she saw that now. So she needed to let her go, she needed to stay away from her in order to do so. She turned back to face her locker, willing the blonde didn’t come her way.
“Hey,” she heard the soft whisper against her ear and she tensed. Her wish had not been granted.
“Brittany,” she acknowledged over her shoulder.
“Dylan,” her voice was pleading, “Dylan, please look at me.”
Dylan turned to face Brittany and she saw the empty hurt in her eyes, “What is it, Britt?” Dylan asked tiredly.
Brittany opened her mouth to speak but dropped her shoulders when no words came out. She instead opted for looking up at Dylan from under hooded eyes, silently begging for something.
“Britt… I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Dylan tried to explain.
“But! Can’t we at least be friends, I miss you, D,” Brittany begged.
Dylan sighed, “Maybe at some point, Britt. But right now… I have to be alone. I can’t be around you right now.”
“But why?” the blonde asked.
“Because I have to get over you, Britt. It’s not fair for both of us.”
“But…”
“No, Britt,” Dylan cutes her off and takes a deep breath. “Listen, you love her, and that’s okay, I understand, but because you love her, you can’t love me and I need some time to get over you, okay? So please, just… just go,” Dylan finishes, hunching her shoulders.
Brittany doesn’t say anything else. She just hangs her head and grips her binder tighter across her chest before turning to leave. This wasn’t going to be easy and Dylan knew it. She had three classes with the girl and Glee club afterwards. She was suddenly grateful that is was spring. Softball season was officially in swing and they were having longer and harder practices. And since Dylan was the only member of the team who was in Glee club, her coach wasn’t exactly accepting of her missing practices to go singing. So she was only allowed to attend rehearsals twice a week from now on. And yeah it sucked, but it would help her maintain a distance between herself and a certain two cheerios.
When Dylan walked into her first period class, she was surprised to see that Brittany and Santana were still seated on opposite sides of the room. She reconsidered though and realized this was the most likely situation. She hadn’t spoken to Santana since Saturday but she was certain she had seen the girl at some of her most vulnerable and Santana was probably freaking out over it. One glancing gaze she caught from the Latina confirmed her theory as Dylan saw the panic that flashed across her face.
Santana slumped down in her chair and attempted to avoid any sort of interaction with her, or Brittany for that matter, and Dylan just dropped her chin and shook her head. She chanced a quick peek at Brittany and saw her lazily doodling on her notebook and looking generally depressed. So Dylan just plopped down and dug out her own notebook and waited expectantly for Mr. Schuester to begin the class. He glanced up from his desk and Dylan could see the confusion on his face as he observed the sporadic location of their seats, yes this was definitely going to be a challenge.
Art class proved to be the most difficult to get through, just as Dylan had perceived. Brittany and her used to share a table in the back and work on their projects together. It had been that way since her first day of classes and frankly, she didn’t have any other friends in that class. So she was forced to take her normal spot and avoid Brittany’s puppy dog stares for the entire period. By the time the bell rang, Dylan had bolted from the room, not even allowing Brittany any time to make even a peep before she left.
The first day had been hard, but as the week progressed things seemed to get better. Dylan suddenly realized she had a lot more homework than she used to, so all of her free time was spent doing that instead of pondering about Brittany and their failed relationship. The softball team had a big game coming up at the end of the week and that also helped take her mind off things. The only real time she had to think about Brittany, and Santana for that matter, was in class and in Glee club.
Dylan barely paid attention during her first rehearsal of the week. She spent the entire time sitting in the back row and observing the members around her. She watched as Santana took a seat to the bottom right, at least three chairs away from anyone else, and shifted uncomfortably. When Brittany came in, she first started walking towards the Latina, only to veer away at the last second and take a seat next to Kurt instead. The small boy offered the blonde his arm and she excepted with a sad smile before looking over her shoulder at the distant Latina. Kurt whispered something into her ear and Brittany nodded, turning back to face the front of the choir room.
She watched as Finn came walking in with Rachel on his arm. He looked happy but she grew confused when he gave Santana a sympathizing look as he walked past her. Dylan saw Santana smile briefly at him, eyes acknowledging.
Dylan had always suspected Santana’s relationship with Finn was a little strange. It had happened so suddenly and right after Santana had admitted she loved Brittany the first time. There was no way she would suddenly have a change of heart and walk back in twenty minutes later with a boy on her arm who she claimed to be dating.
They had made it seem believable enough. It actually disgusted Dylan at how much Santana seemed to cling to Finn. It was almost as though he was her lifeboat and without him, she would sink down into oblivion. She practically smothered the boy, but what Dylan found most strange was the manner in which Finn accepted all of Santana’s actions.
It was as though they were each 100% aware of what the other was doing, whatever that was, and they were perfectly okay with it. It was as though Finn knew he was the only thing keeping Santana from breaking down and he held on just as tightly.
Dylan knew something was up after her fight with Santana in the hallway. She had spent enough time with Rachel to know that Finn hated cheaters above everything else in his life. That’s why he had broken up with Rachel, and that was just over a kiss. But this time, Santana had slept with someone else, and had practically admitted it to half the school, yet Finn just shrugged it off as though it was his idea in the first place.
And now, less than a week later, and Finn was back with Rachel. Dylan was sure Santana didn’t care, because she was in love with Brittany and probably wasn’t all that interested in dating Finn in the first place. But the look of approval and pride in the Latina’s eyes was difficult to interpret. Santana had denied Finn being a beard, but that seemed like the most rational explanation. She was scared, and Dylan knew that. And she had heard of people using beards to appear straight before, so it was not out of the ordinary.
She wouldn’t ask Santana about it though. That was not her place and she had meant what she had told the Latina; she was sorry for what she put her through. It was rude of her to force Santana to come out the way she did. If she wasn’t ready, than she wasn’t ready and Dylan wasn’t going to tease her about it anymore.
It took the better part of the week until Dylan finally felt a weight lift from her shoulder. The days started blending into each other and though she still missed Brittany’s company like hell, she was starting to feel normal again without her. Well, at least when she was with other people, but she was getting better. She had found another table to sit at during art class and maintained her distance in their remaining classes. Dylan could tell Brittany was still feeling awkward about it, but endured Dylan’s wishes to be left alone. She was spending more time with Kurt now, the two of them seemed to be two peas in a pod and that made Dylan smile.
Santana, on the other hand, had grown attached to Quinn’s hip, always staying a step behind the head cheerleader and in her shadows rather than in front with her head held high the way she used to. There were a few moments when she caught Brittany glancing at Santana and holding her gaze before the Latina shied away behind Quinn.
By the end of the week she had spotted Brittany talking to Quinn after softball practice one day as she walked past the football field where the Cheerios were practicing. There was no way she would be able to hear what the two blonde were discussing but it looked as though Quinn was consoling Brittany so Dylan just turns and treks her way towards the locker room.
The weekend was not as painful as she thought it was going to be. She had informed her father of her breakup with Brittany and she was grateful for having him. He didn’t ask questions but attempted to find ways to distract her and help in any way. And any way included taking her to multiple car dealerships seeing that her birthday was right around the corner and she would in fact, finally be joining the army of teenage drivers. By the time the weekend was over, Dylan hadn’t even realized it had passed.
They had checked every dealership in Lima and picked out a few possibilities. It wouldn’t be for a few weeks yet and Dylan still had to actually get her license, but her test was coming up soon so what time wasn’t spent shopping for cars was spend in Puck’s truck as her took her driving around to practice. He was a shit teacher, but it was fun none-the-less and it helped her forget unwanted memories. So a weekend of cars and Super Smash Bros. turned out to be a pretty good remedy for a mending heart and Dylan felt rejuvenated by the time she walked into McKinley on Monday.
She met up with Puck and Lauren by her locker in the morning and leaned against the cold metal as he ranted on about their epic battle this weekend to his girlfriend. Dylan smirked and pretended to listen. Her eyes had caught a glimpse of Santana walking down the hall towards them alone. She was looking slightly better than she had been, Dylan noted. And by slightly better she really meant nothing had changed. Perhaps she held her head a bit higher but otherwise she looked down right miserable.
Dylan heard a familiar laugh and she turned to look at Brittany walking towards them from the opposite direction with Kurt. She couldn’t help but smile at the blonde, knowing she was doing alright. Even though it had been her who had cheated, Dylan still cared about her and never wanted to hurt the girl. She had come to realize though that she wouldn’t be the one to make Brittany happy and therefore needed to leave.
Brittany looked up at her as she drew closer and gave her a light smile before Dylan saw her eyes flash past her, face dropping. Dylan turned to follow her gaze and wasn’t surprised to see that Brittany had spotted Santana. The Latina had halted where a second hallway intersected theirs and was standing awkwardly against the wall.
The longing glance Santana flashed at the blonde quickly before turning her face made Dylan’s heart ache. It was weird; Dylan was still hurting from losing Brittany to Santana but the pain she saw in Santana’s eyes seemed to be so much greater than hers. She watched as Brittany and Kurt walked slowly past Santana where she stood limp against the wall, almost as though she would collapse without it being there. Brittany’s eyes bore into the smaller girl and Dylan looked on. She was snapped out of her musings by Puck waving his hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention.
She turned and smiled at him, nodding, before glancing quickly back at Santana who was now turned in the direction Brittany had disappeared from. After a few moments, Santana turned down the adjacent hallway and disappeared.
Brittany had attempted to start a few conversations with her over the week, coming up to sit next to her in art class or in Glee club. But each one ended with Dylan feeling slightly emptier due to Brittany’s pale complexion and less than cheerful stature. Each brief encounter left Dylan wishing there was something she could do to make the girl happy again. But she knew delving into any sort of relationship with Brittany, even a friendly one, this soon after their break up was a bad idea. She couldn’t give Brittany what she needed, and it was best if she just stayed away.
So the week dragged on, similar to the previous one, filled with copious amounts of homework, excessive practices and longing glances between two particular cheerleaders and herself. It was as though they had started their own secret language that didn’t need speaking. Brittany would look at her with sympathy before moving on to stare not so subtly at a certain Latina while Dylan was left to catch the painfully sad stares Santana was tossing back at the blonde. Santana still hadn’t spoken to her yet but their occasional staring contests were getting more and more frequent as well as lasting longer. It was as though Santana was speaking to Dylan in her head before turning down and focusing on something else.
She had witnessed Brittany attempt to approach Santana by their lockers one afternoon before Glee club and she secretly watched them out of the corner of her eye. Santana looked as though she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar and mumbled some inaudible response before scampering off towards the choir room. Brittany had turned around to find Dylan staring at her and she soon started slowly in the direction the Latina had gone in.
Though she had yet to witness another Santana cornering, she was certain they had happened. Perhaps in the Cheerios locker room, or during one of Sue’s legendary workouts, but none the less they seemed to have fallen into a grove in order to just get by.
Thursday rolled around and Dylan found herself sitting alone in the library during her free period. This time used to be spent helping Brittany with her homework and generally goofing off, but now there was no room for that. Dylan sat and worked on her math problems as she avoided staring at the blonde cheerleader who was walking aimlessly amongst the bookshelves, occasionally stopping to pull a book off the shelf and flip through it. She must have failed at it because soon she heard someone come up besides her and call her back to reality.
Her eyes watered slightly when she blinked, apparently she hadn’t been blinking either as she absentmindedly gazed at Brittany on the other side of the room.
“I’m sorry, what?” Dylan asked, realizing the person next to her had said something.
“We never stood a chance, you know?” it was Artie’s voice that penetrated her thoughts and she turned her head to look at him.
“Huh?”
“With Brittany,” he said, nodding his head in the blonde’s direction.
“Oh,” Dylan sighed keeping her voice low, “How do you mean?”
Artie shrugged and wheeled up to the table next to Dylan and rested his elbows on it, “We weren’t the missing piece of the puzzle.”
Dylan sat back in her chair and openly stared at Brittany now. Everything about their relationship had felt right up until she had overheard Brittany’s conversation with Kurt in the auditorium.
“I guess I figured it out once you came around,” the boy next to her whispered.
“I sorry, Artie, I never meant to hurt anyone,” Dylan admitted.
“No, it’s okay. I kinda figured it would happen,” she said turning to look at her, “I guess I was just surprised it happened with you.”
“What is that suppose to mean?” Dylan asked, sitting up straighter in her chair.
“No offense to you, Dylan, but do you feel like you and her belonged together?” he asked harshly.
Dylan slumped back in her chair and thought for a moment before answering. “I used too,” she admitted, “but I guess I understand now that we didn’t.”
Artie nodded and turned to look at Brittany as well. “That’s my point. Neither of us had a chance with her from the start. We’re just not what she’s looking for.”
“But she’s exactly what I was looking for,” Dylan admitted, feeling a sharp pain in her chest.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Well, yeah, I mean, look at her!” Dylan exclaimed quietly, “I mean, why did you date her then?”
The boy shrugged and rolled back and forth slightly in his chair, “She asked me out first.”
Dylan arched an eyebrow in his direction, “You’re kidding right?”
Artie gave her a chiseled stare, “what? Is it too hard to believe that a girl like Brittany would want to date a guy like me?”
Dylan didn’t answer, just stared at him.
Artie held her gaze for a while before finally breaking it and chuckling lightly, shaking his head, “yeah I know, it is.”
“So what, she just suddenly came up and asked you out?” Dylan was curious now, she had never really spoken to Artie about his relationship with Brittany. When they first met, they had been dating for a few months already and Dylan just accepted it. Then, once Brittany dumped him for her, they hadn’t been on a good page with one another.
“Well, it was a bit random, but she wanted to partner with me in a duets competition we were having. I was still into Tina at that point and figured it would be a good way to get her jealous.”
“That’s a bit fucked up, don’t you think?”
He shrugged again, “I mean, it was just a duet.”
“So what happened?”
“Oh, well, um let’s just say she helped me get over Tina,” he said sheepishly.
“Oh,” Dylan said in disgust, turning away, “sorry I asked.”
“And then I broke up with her…”
“What?” Dylan snapped her head back towards the boy again.
“Yeah, something Santana told me about her just using me and not actually wanting to be with me.”
“Something Santana told you?” Dylan turned to face the table directly across the room from her where Santana was hunched over her own school work. “That wasn’t suspicious to you?”
“No, not really… it was Santana,” he said as though just announcing her name explained everything. Dylan just furrowed her eyebrows.
“So then why did you get back together with her?” she asked. Even without the full story, Dylan was pretty certain Santana had gotten Artie to break up with Brittany out of jealously, so why would she allow them to get back together?
Artie laughed to himself a bit too haughtily before answering, “you’ve slept with her, right? I mean, who wouldn’t tap that?”
Dylan looked him in disgust, “You’re fucking kidding right?”
“Well, it was definitely part of the reason, but then I realized I actually liked her a lot. I was so surprised she had chosen me though.”
“Yeah, cause you’re kinda a jerk,” Dylan pointed out seriously as she crossed her arms.
She saw Artie clench his jaw briefly, “Well I’m surprised she left me for you.”
“Yeah you already said that,” Dylan pointed out snidely, “What’s that suppose to mean anyway? Is it so difficult to believe that girls can be attracted to other girls, and actually mean it? We’re not here solely for the entertainment of men, you know.”
“Well, no, it’s not hard to believe. Anymore at least, you two actually helped me understand that. But no, I just assumed she would leave me for Santana.”
Dylan felt her body tense at his words, “Sorry?”
“Well we all knew about their past. It was an accident when Brittany let it slip but once it was out it kinda made sense. They were best friends and even though Santana was sleeping around, they were never exclusively with anyone else.”
“But I thought you just said it was me and Brittany who made you realize two girls could be together like that…”
“You did,” he answered, turning his chair to face Dylan more directly. “All we knew about their relationship is that they had hooked up. And they would hook up in front of people, on double dates or at parties. They were the ones who were actually playing the ‘entertainment’ card for a while.”
“Then why did you figure she would leave you for her?”
“They were always Brittany and Santana, and nobody else, like they just fit together even if they weren’t together.”
“Brittany and Santana,” Dylan mumbled to herself. It was a term she had heard mentioned a few times over the last couple of weeks. Similar to the way Artie had sated the Latina’s name, it was as though just uttering the pair of names together provided a solution to all problems.
“I mean, just look at them,” Artie whispered and Dylan was broken form her musings.
Her head snapped up and she realized that Brittany had stopped wondering around the library and taken a seat next to Santana. She was rapidly showing the small girl something in a book and Dylan could tell Santana was tense by her posture, but the look she saw on the Latina’s face almost made her heart break.
She was looking at Brittany with such adoration and lovingness. There was a sparkle in Brittany’s blue eyes, one Dylan remembered seeing early on in their relationship, but somehow this one was different. There was an underlying love beneath it and it made Dylan realize what Artie and everyone else meant by ‘Brittany and Santana’.
“I never had a chance…” Dylan reiterated to herself.
“None of us did,” Artie agreed besides her.
And that’s when it hit her. As she watched Santana’s nervous posture and Brittany’s loving gaze; they were in love with each other. They were in love with each other and they didn’t even know it. In fact, Dylan was pretty sure she was the only person who had received testimonies form each girl admitting their love for one another. Artie was right, she wasn’t the right puzzle piece for Brittany, but she knew who was.
Part Two of Two