(no subject)
Title: Bloody Handprints
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Juliet, Kate, Tom.
Prompt: #04 - Blood for
50_darkfics
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,054
Warnings: Strong language, allusion to major character death.
Summary: Post "I Do". Jack realizes just how flawed his plan is...and the consequences stemming from it.
Everything was still. They were all watching him, waiting for him to move, to say something. Jack was, for his part, too intent on both the beeping of the monitor hooked up to Ben and the static-y messages that were heard every few minutes over the walkie-talkie he still held in his hands.
It had been about twenty minutes or so since he had slit open Ben’s kidney and told Kate to run. At that point Kate had taken off with Sawyer, and five minutes after that he’d heard someone say Sawyer had gotten a gun and taken out one of them. Now he could hear Pickett and another man planning ways to get Kate and Sawyer back, while they sat on their hands in the interest of keeping their leader alive. Jack doubted they would hold out for the rest of the hour. He just hoped Kate could outrun them; he hoped she could get to safety.
“Fuck it, I’m going after Ford.”
Jack’s eyes shot over to Tom, once again warning him that if they did he would let Ben die. Tom shrugged, as if reminding him that it was out of his hands, that Jack was the one with the walkie.
“No, you’re not. Just wait.”
He let out a breath, relaxing just barely. Kate still had more time-they still had more time. Not that he had really meant to get Sawyer out too, it just kind of happened. It was probably better that way. For all the man’s flaws he did love her, maybe even as much as Jack did, and he would get her to safety if it was the last thing he did.
“Your plan isn’t going to work Jack.” Juliet spoke up and it was the first time anyone in the room had said anything in ten minutes.
He turned to look at her, with a glare. “Shut up,” he enunciated carefully hoping that she really was as good at taking orders as she had claimed to be earlier.
She fell quiet again and he thought maybe she was done, that she had realized there was no getting anywhere with him right now. The silence only lasted a few moments longer however. “It was a good idea in theory. But you don’t know all the facts.”
Jack clenched his jaw and waved the walkie about like it was a gun, angered by her ability to bait him. She was making him nervous, more so than he already was, and he knew that was her intentions. “Do I have to knock you out like I did to him,” he shot a sidelong glance at the body of the man who still lay unconscious, “because I don’t really have any use for you unless I’m operating and it doesn’t look like that’s happening any time soon.”
That right there should’ve ended it. Juliet had clearly made the mistake of thinking she had more control over him than she really did. Still, she pressed, “You ever wonder why your group hasn’t come after you yet? Why they haven’t found you?”
He wanted to silence her just as much as he wanted to know the answer. It was a catch 22. He had figured they would’ve heard something; Locke or Sayid had to have at least tried to find them.
“They won’t find you. They can’t.” Her eyes were burning into him and he wouldn’t return her gaze any longer, instead staring at Ben, at the monitor. “You know why?”
“Juliet.” Tom said, trying to stop her from voicing whatever it was they were hiding from him. He made to move towards her but Jack raised an eyebrow in his direction, daring him. Now Jack wanted answers.
“We’re not on your island.” She said and his breath hitched, as he turned to look at her again. “It’s why they haven’t found you. It’s why she didn’t want to run. She knows there’s nowhere for her to go.”
It was when he realized that he’d made a horrible mistake.
“Pickett will wait out the hour. Then he’s going to go find them. He’ll kill Sawyer and, depending on what kind of mood he’s in, and I’m guessing this isn’t a good one, he’ll kill Kate too. And you’ll have both their blood on your hands.”
Jack tried to keep the sick feeling that cropped up at bay. Images of Kate’s dead body lying on the floor in front of him invaded his thoughts along with the undeniable feeling of guilt. If they caught them, whatever happened would be his fault.
Juliet took a step closer, her face softening. “We don’t want that to happen. And from the way you’re hands are shaking I’m guessing neither do you.” He pushed back his fear, willing his hands to still. “Now if you do this surgery then maybe I can find a way to intervene and make sure nothing happens to her.”
He shook his head, “No, see we’ve been through this before. I can’t trust you people. I’m not going to save his life just because you claim you’ll do something to help her. I don’t even know that you’re telling me the truth about a second island.”
“Jack you don’t have much of a choice in the matter.” She said, firmly. “You wither do the surgery or she dies. Plain and simple. And if you don’t believe that we’ll kill her then you just sit here and wait out the rest of the hour.”
With narrowed eyes, he turned away from her to pace the same strip of linoleum in front of the door. His whole plan, one that had seemed so infallible at its conception, couldn’t be for nothing, could it? They wouldn’t have kidnapped them just to kill them off, it didn’t make any sense. None of it did. He knew if it was his ass on the line he wouldn’t do the surgery. He would tempt fate. Could he gamble with her life? With Sawyer’s life even?
She came closer still, undeterred. “If you love her, and I believe you do, you’ll hand me that,” she pointed to the device in his hands, “and get back to work.” Hand outstretched, her eyes begged him to just give up.
He stared at the walkie for a moment before kissing Kate’s chance at possible freedom goodbye and handing it over. Juliet gave him a small smile, and he sighed, hating himself for caving. He looked over to Ben and then to the monitor, “We need to stop the bleeding.”
Nodding, she backed off, giving the walkie to Tom. “Thank you Jack.”
---
Two hours later the surgery was all over and he was leant against a wall in the empty operating room. Juliet, Tom, and the nurse had left half an hour ago, taking Ben with them, back in one piece minus his tumor. He had no idea when they were coming back for him. He didn’t know what had happened to Kate and Sawyer. Part of him didn’t want to.
“Alright, Jack,” came Juliet’s voice, filtering through the room via the speakers installed in all four corners, “we need you to stay against the wall. Don’t go near the door.”
Standard protocol, Jack thought, unsurprised by the orders. She was probably coming in to get him and nervous he would try something. It was valid because if he had the energy or the motivation he would try to make a break for it. He was done with their games. There was nothing left for him to lose. But he did as he was told, simply because they expected otherwise at the moment. The whole point of it would be the element of surprise.
The door opened, and he looked away because he didn’t want to see the warm smile that he knew would appear on Juliet’s face. He didn’t know why she bothered; they’d already told him it was all an act.
“Jack.”
The voice was not Juliet’s. It was not laced with false sincerity and caring. It was just his name, said both as a question and a statement. Kate looked at him with red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks and he heard the door click silently as Juliet slipped out wordlessly. His cue that he could move freely about the room once more.
Tentatively, he rose, going towards her. She stood stock still in her clothes that were dirtied and torn far beyond the wear of the day before. Signs of a struggle.
“I ran,” she said, tears forming in her eyes and choking her words. “I ran just like you told me to.” There was something underlying in her voice. Accusation? “There’s nowhere to go.”
“I didn’t know until after,” he told her, looking to the wall. The camera blinked back at him and he knew what he wanted to do and what he should be doing for appearances sake were drastically different. His best course of action was to put on a show of pushing her away. Blame it on what he’d seen of her and Sawyer on the monitors; play like he saw it as betrayal. He didn’t. He knew that he didn’t know the whole story, that he didn’t know all of what they’d been through. Jack would wait to make judgments until later. Right now all he really wanted was to have her in his arms, to prove to himself that she was relatively fine. Physically, anyway. “Where’s Sawyer?”
Kate let out a choked sob and put a hand on the wall to steady herself and he was in front of her in seconds, taking her hands in his, letting her hold on to him. It was when he noticed the blood on her hands, the dark red handprint that was left on the stark white walls.
“Whose blood is this?” He could see small splatters of it on her shirt when he looked closely, implying it wasn’t hers. This was a spray pattern. She pulled her hands from his, looking down at the floor, and squeezing her eyes shut like it would make this all go away. “Kate whose is it?”
“They shot him right in front of me.” Her tears were flowing freely now and she braced herself against him. “They caught us and they just…Pickett said someone had to pay for Colleen’s death. That someone had to pay for what you did.” She looked up at him then, with a sudden terror in her eyes and she backed away from him, as if just remembering who she was talking to and where she was. The shock was beginning to wear off.
“I didn’t know,” he repeated, feeling the emotion in his own voice mar his words. He reached out for her, grabbing hold of her arms and bringing her slowly back to him, his grip firm enough that she couldn’t shrug him off. “I was trying to save you. I was trying to save us all.”
“We aren’t going to be saved!” She shouted suddenly, fighting against his grasp. “This is it. No one’s coming because we’re not even on the same island they think we are and we can’t escape. We don’t have a chance.” The fight she put up was weak and he felt her give up and let him fold her into his arms. Quietly, she spoke into his chest, “Sawyer knew that. He knew and he wouldn’t tell me because he wanted me to have hope. And now he’s dead.”
He didn’t know what to say. Telling her everything would be okay lacked any point when she had made it so clear that it wasn’t in fact okay. All he could do was hold her there and whisper apologies into her hair. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” he told her, and her grip on him tightened.
That was how they stood for a long while, both feeling like they had failed at something. Him at being the hero and rescuing them; her at protecting Sawyer, at doing something to stop them. And as he pressed her closer to him he felt the warm blood from her hands soak into his scrubs, the remnants of yet another person he couldn’t save. The one person that would always be both literally and figuratively between them.
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Juliet, Kate, Tom.
Prompt: #04 - Blood for
50_darkfics
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,054
Warnings: Strong language, allusion to major character death.
Summary: Post "I Do". Jack realizes just how flawed his plan is...and the consequences stemming from it.
Everything was still. They were all watching him, waiting for him to move, to say something. Jack was, for his part, too intent on both the beeping of the monitor hooked up to Ben and the static-y messages that were heard every few minutes over the walkie-talkie he still held in his hands.
It had been about twenty minutes or so since he had slit open Ben’s kidney and told Kate to run. At that point Kate had taken off with Sawyer, and five minutes after that he’d heard someone say Sawyer had gotten a gun and taken out one of them. Now he could hear Pickett and another man planning ways to get Kate and Sawyer back, while they sat on their hands in the interest of keeping their leader alive. Jack doubted they would hold out for the rest of the hour. He just hoped Kate could outrun them; he hoped she could get to safety.
“Fuck it, I’m going after Ford.”
Jack’s eyes shot over to Tom, once again warning him that if they did he would let Ben die. Tom shrugged, as if reminding him that it was out of his hands, that Jack was the one with the walkie.
“No, you’re not. Just wait.”
He let out a breath, relaxing just barely. Kate still had more time-they still had more time. Not that he had really meant to get Sawyer out too, it just kind of happened. It was probably better that way. For all the man’s flaws he did love her, maybe even as much as Jack did, and he would get her to safety if it was the last thing he did.
“Your plan isn’t going to work Jack.” Juliet spoke up and it was the first time anyone in the room had said anything in ten minutes.
He turned to look at her, with a glare. “Shut up,” he enunciated carefully hoping that she really was as good at taking orders as she had claimed to be earlier.
She fell quiet again and he thought maybe she was done, that she had realized there was no getting anywhere with him right now. The silence only lasted a few moments longer however. “It was a good idea in theory. But you don’t know all the facts.”
Jack clenched his jaw and waved the walkie about like it was a gun, angered by her ability to bait him. She was making him nervous, more so than he already was, and he knew that was her intentions. “Do I have to knock you out like I did to him,” he shot a sidelong glance at the body of the man who still lay unconscious, “because I don’t really have any use for you unless I’m operating and it doesn’t look like that’s happening any time soon.”
That right there should’ve ended it. Juliet had clearly made the mistake of thinking she had more control over him than she really did. Still, she pressed, “You ever wonder why your group hasn’t come after you yet? Why they haven’t found you?”
He wanted to silence her just as much as he wanted to know the answer. It was a catch 22. He had figured they would’ve heard something; Locke or Sayid had to have at least tried to find them.
“They won’t find you. They can’t.” Her eyes were burning into him and he wouldn’t return her gaze any longer, instead staring at Ben, at the monitor. “You know why?”
“Juliet.” Tom said, trying to stop her from voicing whatever it was they were hiding from him. He made to move towards her but Jack raised an eyebrow in his direction, daring him. Now Jack wanted answers.
“We’re not on your island.” She said and his breath hitched, as he turned to look at her again. “It’s why they haven’t found you. It’s why she didn’t want to run. She knows there’s nowhere for her to go.”
It was when he realized that he’d made a horrible mistake.
“Pickett will wait out the hour. Then he’s going to go find them. He’ll kill Sawyer and, depending on what kind of mood he’s in, and I’m guessing this isn’t a good one, he’ll kill Kate too. And you’ll have both their blood on your hands.”
Jack tried to keep the sick feeling that cropped up at bay. Images of Kate’s dead body lying on the floor in front of him invaded his thoughts along with the undeniable feeling of guilt. If they caught them, whatever happened would be his fault.
Juliet took a step closer, her face softening. “We don’t want that to happen. And from the way you’re hands are shaking I’m guessing neither do you.” He pushed back his fear, willing his hands to still. “Now if you do this surgery then maybe I can find a way to intervene and make sure nothing happens to her.”
He shook his head, “No, see we’ve been through this before. I can’t trust you people. I’m not going to save his life just because you claim you’ll do something to help her. I don’t even know that you’re telling me the truth about a second island.”
“Jack you don’t have much of a choice in the matter.” She said, firmly. “You wither do the surgery or she dies. Plain and simple. And if you don’t believe that we’ll kill her then you just sit here and wait out the rest of the hour.”
With narrowed eyes, he turned away from her to pace the same strip of linoleum in front of the door. His whole plan, one that had seemed so infallible at its conception, couldn’t be for nothing, could it? They wouldn’t have kidnapped them just to kill them off, it didn’t make any sense. None of it did. He knew if it was his ass on the line he wouldn’t do the surgery. He would tempt fate. Could he gamble with her life? With Sawyer’s life even?
She came closer still, undeterred. “If you love her, and I believe you do, you’ll hand me that,” she pointed to the device in his hands, “and get back to work.” Hand outstretched, her eyes begged him to just give up.
He stared at the walkie for a moment before kissing Kate’s chance at possible freedom goodbye and handing it over. Juliet gave him a small smile, and he sighed, hating himself for caving. He looked over to Ben and then to the monitor, “We need to stop the bleeding.”
Nodding, she backed off, giving the walkie to Tom. “Thank you Jack.”
---
Two hours later the surgery was all over and he was leant against a wall in the empty operating room. Juliet, Tom, and the nurse had left half an hour ago, taking Ben with them, back in one piece minus his tumor. He had no idea when they were coming back for him. He didn’t know what had happened to Kate and Sawyer. Part of him didn’t want to.
“Alright, Jack,” came Juliet’s voice, filtering through the room via the speakers installed in all four corners, “we need you to stay against the wall. Don’t go near the door.”
Standard protocol, Jack thought, unsurprised by the orders. She was probably coming in to get him and nervous he would try something. It was valid because if he had the energy or the motivation he would try to make a break for it. He was done with their games. There was nothing left for him to lose. But he did as he was told, simply because they expected otherwise at the moment. The whole point of it would be the element of surprise.
The door opened, and he looked away because he didn’t want to see the warm smile that he knew would appear on Juliet’s face. He didn’t know why she bothered; they’d already told him it was all an act.
“Jack.”
The voice was not Juliet’s. It was not laced with false sincerity and caring. It was just his name, said both as a question and a statement. Kate looked at him with red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks and he heard the door click silently as Juliet slipped out wordlessly. His cue that he could move freely about the room once more.
Tentatively, he rose, going towards her. She stood stock still in her clothes that were dirtied and torn far beyond the wear of the day before. Signs of a struggle.
“I ran,” she said, tears forming in her eyes and choking her words. “I ran just like you told me to.” There was something underlying in her voice. Accusation? “There’s nowhere to go.”
“I didn’t know until after,” he told her, looking to the wall. The camera blinked back at him and he knew what he wanted to do and what he should be doing for appearances sake were drastically different. His best course of action was to put on a show of pushing her away. Blame it on what he’d seen of her and Sawyer on the monitors; play like he saw it as betrayal. He didn’t. He knew that he didn’t know the whole story, that he didn’t know all of what they’d been through. Jack would wait to make judgments until later. Right now all he really wanted was to have her in his arms, to prove to himself that she was relatively fine. Physically, anyway. “Where’s Sawyer?”
Kate let out a choked sob and put a hand on the wall to steady herself and he was in front of her in seconds, taking her hands in his, letting her hold on to him. It was when he noticed the blood on her hands, the dark red handprint that was left on the stark white walls.
“Whose blood is this?” He could see small splatters of it on her shirt when he looked closely, implying it wasn’t hers. This was a spray pattern. She pulled her hands from his, looking down at the floor, and squeezing her eyes shut like it would make this all go away. “Kate whose is it?”
“They shot him right in front of me.” Her tears were flowing freely now and she braced herself against him. “They caught us and they just…Pickett said someone had to pay for Colleen’s death. That someone had to pay for what you did.” She looked up at him then, with a sudden terror in her eyes and she backed away from him, as if just remembering who she was talking to and where she was. The shock was beginning to wear off.
“I didn’t know,” he repeated, feeling the emotion in his own voice mar his words. He reached out for her, grabbing hold of her arms and bringing her slowly back to him, his grip firm enough that she couldn’t shrug him off. “I was trying to save you. I was trying to save us all.”
“We aren’t going to be saved!” She shouted suddenly, fighting against his grasp. “This is it. No one’s coming because we’re not even on the same island they think we are and we can’t escape. We don’t have a chance.” The fight she put up was weak and he felt her give up and let him fold her into his arms. Quietly, she spoke into his chest, “Sawyer knew that. He knew and he wouldn’t tell me because he wanted me to have hope. And now he’s dead.”
He didn’t know what to say. Telling her everything would be okay lacked any point when she had made it so clear that it wasn’t in fact okay. All he could do was hold her there and whisper apologies into her hair. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” he told her, and her grip on him tightened.
That was how they stood for a long while, both feeling like they had failed at something. Him at being the hero and rescuing them; her at protecting Sawyer, at doing something to stop them. And as he pressed her closer to him he felt the warm blood from her hands soak into his scrubs, the remnants of yet another person he couldn’t save. The one person that would always be both literally and figuratively between them.