(no subject)
Title: Worth
Fandom: Lost
Character: Kate. Appearances by Sawyer, and Jack.
Prompt: #98 - Vulnerable
Word Count: 1218
Rating: R (only for language)
Warning: coarse language
Summary: Kate questions her relationships on the island. Set after "Two For The Road".
The woman’s eyes were lifeless. Kate hadn’t known Ana-Lucia all that well, and what she had known of her she didn’t much like. But there was one undeniable thing about Ana that even she had admired: she was full of life. She didn’t stand still to let life pass her by and she didn’t give up. So, it seemed unreal to see empty eyes, and skin paler than her natural tan. She couldn’t understand how someone like that could just be gone.
Locke had rushed off as soon as they’d gotten back, much like he’d done after bringing Boone back. Jack had spent several breaths cursing the man out for his lies before requisitioning Sawyer to help him bring Michael into the bedroom. Henry was gone, ropes used to bind him discarded on the cold floor. Libby’s body remained on the ground, in the same position that she must’ve fallen, and Ana’s sat on the couch, half leaning into the arm rest. Neither of the men had called her so she perched herself on the couch opposite Ana’s body and tried not to look. But she did. She couldn’t help herself.
It was in the silence that she remembered Ana telling her to go with Jack and Locke. It should’ve been her in the hatch. By all means she could’ve been the figure who now lay dead. Though Kate sometimes felt like she was totally and eternally fucked, she didn’t want to die.
She hadn’t heard Sawyer come in until he was sitting next to her, letting out a deep breath. He was quiet for a few moments, then he spoke, “Doc says Mike’s going to be just fine.” He gave Ana a long, hard look, “Can’t say the same for Ana Lulu and the blonde.” It occurred to her that he might not even know Libby’s name, despite being stuck with her group for several days on their way back here.
“I was supposed to watch Michael. That should’ve been me.” She felt tears burn at her eyes and she willed them not to fall. Kate would not be ‘the woman’ and cry over everything. “Because of a split second decision, I’m still alive.”
“It’s not some chance decision. It’s fate or whatever Baldie keeps going on about. Everything happens for a reason.” He probably didn’t mean what he said but it was his attempt at comforting her and she appreciated it.
She forced herself to nod and give some sign that she understood him, something that she thought was necessary given the circumstances. It was also done out of the hope that maybe he would leave. She wouldn’t be vulnerable in front of him. Kate had thought she could let her guard down and let her raw emotions out with Jack that day in the jungle and look where that had gotten them. Dancing around the both of them could only make things worse for her.
He didn’t move though, and she realized he had no reason to. There were tow options: stay out her with her or go and see what he could do for Jack. And Sawyer wasn’t necessarily a person inclined to help others, even if him and Michael had bonded on the raft. It wasn’t in his nature. Neither was this.
Someone should probably go to the beach, to tell everyone, but they both knew that that task would inevitably fall on Jack. He was the leader, so therefore he became the deliver of bad news. Not that Ana would be greatly missed by anyone besides Jack, who seemed to have some sort of bond with her, and maybe Eko. They had been stranded on the other side of the island for forty-eight days after all. You’re bound to become friendly with someone by that point. But Libby…god, she hated to think of Hurley’s reaction. Everybody knew they were a couple.
Had she been the one to go, she wondered if anyone would miss her. Sure she had a history with both Jack and Sawyer, but she wasn’t sure where she was with either of them, if they felt for her. If she felt for them. Which one the feeling was strongest for. Would they really miss her?
She had forged a friendship with Sun, but they weren’t as close since she’d begun taking more shifts in the hatch. She sometimes took care of Aaron for Claire but they were only casual friends. They didn’t share secrets or anything. In the early days on the island her and Sayid had an understanding and had spent quite a lot of time together but she had barely seen him he’d come back after being held captive by Rousseau. Would her death be a blip on any of their radars?
As soon as she felt the first tear fall she knew it was over. She felt her face contort and shaky sobs overtake her body, as she clamped her mouth shut to stop from making any sounds that would alert the two in the next room. Sawyer, on the other hand, saw this and, before she knew it, he had wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him, her face burying in his chest, tear staining the soft blue plaid of his shirt.
“Shh, Kate,” he whispered, close to her ear. It might have been the first time he’d used her real name. Not Freckles. Not Sassafras. Kate. It was oddly comforting. “Don’t go breaking down on me.”
She tried to stop, she really did, but she only succeeded in making it worse. Sawyer didn’t seem to mind for he still held her, going so far as to place a kiss on her forehead. Footsteps approached, and his grip on her tightened in reaction to them. She knew exactly who had stepped into the room when she heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. Jack. He’d done it many times before to wake her out of a reverie, or to get her attention. This time she didn’t move. She could almost see him shake his head, as the sound of his boots against the stone floor faded away.
They were silent for awhile as they processed the significance of this. Jack had seen her in the arms of his enemy and done nothing about it. Not a word. He’d just given up and left. Maybe he wouldn’t miss her.
Eventually she lifted her head, to look up at him, pleading with him to speak first. He did. “We should get out of here before the others get here. That’s a party we don’t need to attend.” He shifted her off of him, rising and pulling her up with him. “Come on.”
She didn’t ask where they were going, for once, she just went with him. She didn’t want to be here to see everyone’s reactions. She didn’t want to know if Michael was really going to be okay. She was positive she didn’t want to know what happened. And she definitely didn’t want to be here when Jack got back. All that could be dealt with later. Later when she wasn’t questioning if she was worth anything or if anyone would really give a shit whether or not she lived. When she wasn’t so vulnerable. In the meantime, there was Sawyer.