(no subject)
Title: One Step Forward, Two Steps Backward
Fandom: Lost.
Characters: Kate, Jack, Tom.
Prompt: #87 - Scared for
100moods
Word Count: 1,277
Rating: PG-13
Progress: 20/100
Summary: What if the rescue mission to retrieve Jack fails? What happens then?
Kate awoke to the familiar sensation of tiny pebbles mixed with coarse dirt digging into her back. It was what first told her where she was. The beach felt like fine sand; the jungle was damp, soft dirt. This was the cages again without a doubt. This was where it all started.
She screamed and yelled until her voice was hoarse and her throat ached. She called for John, for Sayid. Where had they gone? Where was Danielle? Why was the cage across from her empty, no signs of being lived in since she herself had been there? She was in Sawyer’s cage, she could tell by the button that activated the large fish-biscuit spewing contraption, placed against the far wall. The dirt in one section, towards the front right of the cage was displaced, like someone had been pacing for a long time. Someone else had been here.
They left her out there, underneath the burning sun, not a word spoken by anyone else. Tom passed by once and gave her a sympathetic look, then kept right on going until he was out of sight. ‘Sorry you’re here again but you had your chance’, it said.
It reminded her of the night she’d spent in solitary lockup. The night before the crash. It had left her shaken and almost glad to see the Marshal. It gave her someone to talk to, or at least someone who would talk to her. His questions were always incriminating and so she rarely answered, but at least it was something. She didn’t feel as if she was losing her grip on reality that way. Being alone scared her, more than she liked to admit, and she was alone in this cage. Without Sawyer here, next cage over making sarcastic, oftentimes suggestive, comments, she didn’t have to be strong; she didn’t have to fake it. Kate knew that if she broke down in front of him, let her fear show, he wouldn’t have known what to do; he would’ve started to realize their true predicament. So she was strong for him, and for herself. There was no one to be strong for now.
There was no one at all.
She fell asleep, leaned against the metal bars, in that same patch of ground that had been disturbed, trying to force herself to think that she was just in the jungle and this was all just a worse case scenario nightmare. It was just a matter of time before Sayid woke her up like he had the first two mornings. Then they’d continue on; they’d find Jack. They wouldn’t get intercepted by the Others; she wouldn’t end up captured and caged. Again.
This had to turn out differently.
---
“Kate!”
She started awake at the force behind her name. Anger. Disbelief.
Jack.
Her eyes opened to his form approaching her cage. His unrestrained form. He looked good; she couldn’t see any marks, any injuries. Tom stood far enough to be out of earshot but close enough to stop them from trying anything.
“Kate, what the hell are you doing here?” His tone was accusing, the same as it had been in the hydra hatch, except there had been glass between them then. Now there were just metal rods. There was always something in the way, be it physical or not.
“Jack, you’re okay. You’re -“ she stopped herself. ‘You’re not dead, I’m not too late’, she thought. “I came back for you.”
“I told you to never come back here,” he said, eyes wild, the way he got when he figured out Michael was leading them into a trap, or when she told him he had to do the surgery. He came closer, inches away from her now. If he hadn’t been yelling, if things had been different, she would’ve reached out to him. “I told you to go back to the beach. Forget about me.”
“I can’t do that. I had to come back. After what you did…” She tried to explain but words failed her. This was not how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to find him. They were supposed to leave. He would be happy, grateful even. She wouldn’t feel guilty, and even more lost than before.
“What I did doesn’t matter now. It doesn’t matter if you’re still here. Why did you come back?” He yelled, his breath hot against her skin. “Why did you come back here for me?”
She looked down, tears springing up in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said, though it came out as more of a choked sob. Deep breaths didn’t help calm her and she pressed her forehead against the bars, closing her eyes so she didn’t have to look at him anymore. It was something she never imagined she’d want. “I was trying to get you back.”
“I can’t come back,” he told her, lowering his voice, though it never lost its firmness. “There is no going back for me and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get you out of this again.”
“I’m not going back without you.” She replied, looking up and shaking her head fervently. Live together, die alone. She wouldn’t leave him. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.
“No Kate, don’t even start - “ he warned, averting his eyes and pressing his lips together, bleeding the color from them while his face reddened by the second.
“I can’t go back there alone. I don’t know how I’m supposed to…” she trailed, tears free falling, and she made no effort to wipe them away. “I’d rather stay here then leave without you.”
“Dammit Kate!” He looked like he wanted to hit something, the veins in his neck popping in that way they always did when he got frustrated. His hand wrapped around a bar, knuckles turning white as he squeezed it. She put her head back down, faltering now that she was back under his intense gaze. That hand slipped off the bar and into her hair, stroking it and then lifting her chin so she had no choice but to look him in the eye. It should’ve been a touching moment except for the disappointment in his eyes. “All you did was give them the upper hand again.”
“What do you mean again? They never lost it.” She protested, wondering what part of the puzzle she was missing. “They’re holding you captive for God’s sake.”
“I had a choice. I didn’t have to do what they want; they know I’m not afraid to die.” He let his hand drop from her face, and she made a small noise of protest at the loss of contact, something that went unnoticed by him. “And now they have leverage. They have something I care about. Now if I don’t do whatever they want they’ll torture you, they’ll kill you.” Jack shook his head, setting his jaw. “So you didn’t rescue me; you didn’t bring me back. You condemned us both.”
He held her gaze for a moment, driving his words home, and then withdrew, turning back around and walking back towards Tom, whose eyes were on the ground. “Take me back,” he ordered.
”Jack!” His name ripped out of her, a cry of terror. He was leaving. He would be gone, and she would be left abandoned until they needed his cooperation and he refused. Then there was no telling what would happen. The implications of this set in, and she clung to the bars. “Jack.”
He never even looked back. Tom led him through the door of the large building situated not too far off from the cages, and then they were both gone.