Phalaenopsis Phenomenon

[sliverly]

Title: Phalaenopsis Phenomenon

Genre: Mystery; Drama; Supernatural
Word Count: 3416
Pairing: 10051
Universe: Alternate
Warning: None
Rating: T

Comments

[caffeinexsugar]

THIS IS AWESOME!!

I liked Shouichi being all realistic and sensible in the beginning: it poses such a stark contrast to what happens later. For example, thinking that you have to do some "research" about the company/position before you call them--that's a common sense in real life that is so rare to see in fics/mangas/animes. I love you made Shouichi look like somebody living besides us--and, then, BA-BAM! Byakuran enters!! XD

For details, I think you have just the right amount here. I liked the description of backgrounds (streets, house, etc) and especially Byakuran's clothes. Actually I'm amazed that anyone can imagine and describe Byakuran's clothes in terms of... non-fantastic fabrics! O.O

And I don't know anything about chess, but I liked the chess scene anyway :D

[sliverly]

*beams* I was kinda worried it would be a let down, but In figured I had to start somewhere, right?

Ha ha, that was actually not intentional, but I'm glad it works. Well, the contrast I guess. I did want Shouichi to seem average (maybe a little below since he's broke, I dunno why but I adore financial-fail!Shouichi).

I'm always scared that my writing is to cut and dry, that there isn't any art to it. Not that I want it to be poetic, but... something better than 'He got up. He walked. etc' (and the outfit Byakuran was wearing was what he wore in the anime when he met 14!Shouichi the second time. V.V Sorry, I went for 'canon Byakuran style' Except the bangles might have been bracelets...)

Yea! I was torn between fast-paced and drawn out... That one I was rather blunt with, because it gets confusing otherwise.

Thanks! I really enjoy reading your comments, they're always so thoughful~ ^^

[animaven]

This is a great beginning for what I hope is going to be a long on-going tale. The descriptions were on point, as I followed his footsteps all the way. And, the interplay between the two was subtle yet with the edge you expect from them. Very well done.

[sliverly]

I hope it lasts~ I plan for it to be in-depth at any rate. I'm glad, I worry about sudden shifts during narration as I sometimes do that. ^^

Dynamics between characters is something I struggle with, I'm glad it worked out~

Thank you!

[shinigami39]

It's really cute how Shouichi was all ~cautious~ and ~rational~ when applying for jobs and being wary of strangers, but then when he meets Byakuran, his ~living on edge~ is activated asdfghjkl

He probably lured unsuspecting, desperate people and ate them. - made me LOL Oh, Shou-chan, if only you knew~♥♥♥

I loved the entire chapter =w= I'm hoping for more *______*

[sliverly]

Yes, because Byakuran would draw it out of him~. Though, I think choosing to become a musician is rather risky too. XD

^^ Yea for black humor!

Thanks, and yeah, I have plans for more. I just need to get through the piles of school work I have...

[chibimeru]

hiya!
wow, amazing story you've got here! I practically crushed down in happiness. And I love it more when Shouichi twisted personality is shown here!

He is thinking of being violently violated and yet is excited!
lol.

[sliverly]

That's Shouichi for you, calculating the worst possibilty and then going for it anyway.

It's always nice to hear people like it, thank you~!