Okay, I'm back home again. And feeling... like I can cope. And very tired, even though I slept for so long yesterday. It'll be better after tonight, it feels like after tonight something'll change or, keep changing, and... I don't know.

But as far as I know, I think I'm okay.

Well when you do figure it out, I'll still be here.

If anyone dares to tell me things will be alright I'm going to scream. I'm so sick of sympathetic looks and words and hugs and my door is locked for a reason so just everybody PISS OFF.

Her funeral is on the 7th. Tuesday. Greers Memorial Home. 2pm.

I- I checked. That's four months to the day since we first met.

I think I very much need to get out of here.

I'll never blow something stupidly out of proportaion again, or- or be so pushy you close up, or get angry at you for something that's my fault, or say bitter things about your friends when you're not listening. I'll try- I will- to be nice to them and get on and it doesn't matter how I feel about them because you like them and I'm sorry that we ( Read more... )

Neither did I.

Just spent the longest hour of my life on the phone either on hold or being passed from department to department at the Aberdeen police office.

Never felt so fucking useless before in my useless fucking life.

Is that a soundproof basement we now have? Fucking brilliant. I'll be in there till I pass out.

Dead is the new alive
Despair's the new survival
A pointless point of veiw
Give in give in give in give in
You play the game
You never win

He's not home.

Oh god I can't handle this I can't.

Happy Birthday Jude.

This morning the police called. They'll be here soon. They want 'just to ask some questions'. I've heard that before. I hate that I've heard that before. You too, Jinx. Anyone that knew her. But you're with Del and I will wait ( Read more... )