Inuvikdotcom fic
Title: Decorum
Pairing: F/K
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3300 words, more or less.
Summary: Fraser behaves in an indecorous manner during a trip to town.
Notes: Many thanks to omphale23 and lipstickcat for beta, and for their patience with my "Is it better now? How about now?" tendencies. Written for inuvikdotcom prompt 73. Western Arctic Regional Visitor Centre Open June to September Located on Mackenzie Road as soon as you enter town. The visitor centre contains many interesting exhibits of art flora and fauna, wildlife, information on Beaufort Delta communities and tourism information. Arctic Circle Certificates available here!
Ray might have had a weird sort of feeling that something was wrong with Fraser, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it and mostly didn't think about it. Things were good, things were great. It wasn't until a Tuesday in early September that he finally wised up.
The day's first clue might have been how Fraser wouldn't let him out of bed in the morning, despite their plans to go into town. It had been late summer by the time Fraser's transfer came through for sure and they'd come up to find a place. Ray'd been around Inuvik a bit, got to know some people, but winter was coming on fast and he didn't want it to set in with him half-arrived, half-knowing what was out there. He was used to being in the know, street-smart. Street-smart was crazy different up here where there weren't many reliable roads, much less many paved roads, and most of the year there'd be snow anyway, so time was short and he had to catch up.
Fraser had a different idea, waking Ray up with a slow, lazy grind session that left them come-smeared and twisted up together, kissing. Ray was one hundred percent A-OK with Fraser's unexpected ability to wallow, but, finally, with a huge effort of will, he dragged his limp self out of bed, got them caffeinated and cleaned up (locking the door when he took his shower, just to be safe) and into the truck.
They had a list of things to do, not a huge list, but a list. Fraser had to stop by the RCMP headquarters to deal with some paperwork, then they needed to stock up at North Mart, and Ray wanted to check out the tourist center - no, centre - place. Not usually his cup of bark tea, but what the hell. It was part of their new little town and he needed to check it out.
At the RCMP station Fraser acted pretty normal, introducing Dief and Ray around. His new boss didn't seem completely batshit insane, which was a nice change of pace. But clues number two and three came pretty soon after, when Fraser ran a hand up Ray's inner thigh as they drove to the store and then pinned him against the driver's side window, kissing him over and over before he pulled himself free, gasping and adjusting himself in his pants, and got them back on track.
They went a little crazy at the store, buying all kinds of stuff for the new place and loading up on food. Ray piled the cart high with candy and coffee and food with no nutritional value at all. It became a game, Ray trying provoke Fraser, but Fraser just grinned this soft, sappy grin and let him have it all.
After the store, at the visitor's place, Fraser made chitchat with Lorna, the meet and greet lady, while Ray got an official looking Certificate of the Arctic Circle Chapter, Order of Adventurers, with his real name on it, which was pretty cool. When Fraser and Lorna got into a debate on global warming, Ray wandered off to join Dief, who was staring in horror at the stuffed musk ox.
He was moseying along, checking out the displays, bumping elbows with the few late-season tourists, when Fraser caught up to him a little later and slipped a hand into the rear pocket of Ray's jeans. He leaned in close and said, warm against Ray's ear, "I'm sorry, I got distracted. If you're bored, we can go home," tugging slightly at the pocket.
"Not bored, Fraser. I'm reading."
"Reading about pingos, I see."
"Yeah. I'm all about the pingos."
"That's odd. If I remember correctly, which I'm sure I do, on the quest I attempted to give you a thorough explanation of the difference between hydrostatic and hydraulic pingo formations. At the time, you did not express much interest in the subject, and, indeed, in short order made it a physical impossibility for me to continue comprehensible speech. Don't you remember, Ray?"
Ray started a quick scan for potential eavesdroppers before he realized that nobody else would probably even recognize Fraser's unique style of dirty talk.
"Well, now I want to read about them."
Still with one hand in Ray's pocket, snug against his ass, Fraser moved to stand close behind him and rested his free hand on his shoulder. Even through his jacket Ray could feel Fraser's thumb rubbing in slow circles right on the spot that made him go all lazy and needy.
Jerking himself free, Ray went to check out another display. Fraser, the stubborn bastard, followed close behind him.
"Ah, the Mad Trapper of Rat Creek. Yes, that is quite a mystery."
"What's the mystery, Fraser? Nutjob shoots people, is really good at running away. We've got plenty of those in Chicago."
"Well, Ray, what made that incident unique..."
"Hey, it's Death Hunt! Great movie. Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson."
"While I have not had the pleasure, I'm told it's far from an accurate recounting of the events."
Ray grinned at the display. "Just remembered. There was a hot Mountie in it. No wonder I liked it."
When Fraser didn't say anything, Ray made the mistake of glancing his way. Fraser was watching him intently, and, damn, how had he ever been stupid enough to think that expression was just some innocent accident or his screwed up, torture the sad sack partner luck. Fraser looked like sex on a stick because he was, pure and simple. Noticing Ray's attention, Fraser threw in a nice slow version of the tongue/lip thing.
Jerking his eyes back up, Ray said, "Fraser, no. I'm here for 'information about the community of Inuvik, and to see the displays about the whole western Arctic region' like it says right here." Ray held up the pamphlet in front of Fraser's face. "I gotta know the place if I'm going to stay here, right?"
"If you're truly interested in improving your knowledge of the area, you may be neglecting a valuable resource."
Ray squinted at him. "Oh, yeah?"
Smiling, Fraser replied, "I am a veritable fount of knowledge, Ray. Perhaps if we went home I could begin your lessons."
"We already had a 'lesson' this morning. I think you can go without teaching me anything else for an hour or two."
"I'm not so sure about that. I take my duties very seriously, as you know."
"Well, take this seriously. I'm going to read about bears and the delta and the people whose name I can't say right, so I don't sound more like a dumbass than I have to. You are going to pretend you're a grown-up with a sense of, you know, decorum."
Ray felt he'd laid down the law pretty effectively, until Fraser licked his ear in front of a display called "Our Northern Point of View." That was bad enough, but the teenage French girl giggling at them was the last straw.
"That's it." Ray dragged Fraser down the short hallway and pulled him into the restroom, a hand fisted in his shirt. Pushing Fraser against the door, he leaned in and kissed him hard, Fraser's lips eager against his. Remembering his point, he jerked away and said, "No, wait. That wasn't what I meant to do. What's going on with you?"
Fraser didn't answer, except by swinging him around until his back was against the door and dropping to his knees, which was how the final great big 'Ray's a fucking idiot' clue came when Fraser blew him in the visitor's centre bathroom.
"What are you doing?" Ray didn't get any time to feel stupid about the dumb question before Fraser was already working on his zipper, shoving his jeans down and pulling out his cock. "Jesus, Fraser."
Without hesitating at all, Fraser opened up and sucked him in, Ray's half-hard cock fitting easily, so he could feel himself hardening against Fraser's hot, wet tongue and the ridges at the top of his mouth.
"God, Fraser, you... you..." Ray's head hit the door with a hollow thunk, his brain going into frantic squirrel mode. There were people on the other side of the door. And, sure, most were tourists, but some they'd have to live with, and this was not the first impression the new Corporal Fraser and his wacky-haired Yank partner needed to make. Ray'd try to explain this to Fraser, but if he took his wrist out of his mouth then everybody in the building would find out he was a moaner.
So, Ray resigned himself to his fate and let Fraser suck and lick on him, buried his free hand in Fraser's hair and tried to keep his brain in his skull, the sounds in his throat. Fraser was so fucking good at this, always had been. So hungry for it, turning all his focus and skill on Ray, always trying to figure out ways to take more, take him higher, turn him inside out and break him and put him back together again.
He'd done the anonymous bathroom blow job thing before, before Fraser, and it was kind of hot and kind of sickening to have it again, the desperate need for quiet, the echoey sounds of sucking and skin on skin and harsh breathing in a small space. Ray looked down and imagined Fraser on his knees for strangers, just taking whatever they had to give, and his hips thrust forward, trying to fit more of his cock inside, trying to make that mouth just a little more his, all his, only his.
And, goddamn it, somehow Fraser'd got his finger just slick enough and was teasing Ray with it, making him spread his legs as far as they'd go with his jeans still around his thighs, making him rock forward and back and want, oh god, yes, really want Fraser to fuck him right now.
Fraser worked a finger in and Ray bit harder, the pain in his wrist a sharp counterpoint to the sweet hot pressure building in him, making him shake. Fraser was working him now, rubbing up against the spot and sucking him hard and he couldn't last, he was coming and he was gone, gasping and coming in Fraser's mouth, everything whiting out for that moment.
Ray slumped against the door, trying to catch his breath. His brain put-putted back to life, the clues finally coming clear and beginning to add up.
"Ray?"
Without opening his eyes, Ray made a 'shut up' hand motion. Something about this was familiar. Fraser was all over him all the time, too eager, too horny, too affectionate. Doing things he wouldn't normally do. With a sick lurch in his gut he remembered Stella, all the pathetic ways he'd tried to prove his love, to earn and re-earn and hold onto hers.
While he was thinking, Fraser'd stood up. He interrupted Ray's brainstorm by asking, "Is something wrong?"
"Yeah." Ray opened his eyes and focused on Fraser, whose lips were all swollen and sexy, but whose eyes were tense. "What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nope, no way. You know. Fraser, this is public, this is your fucking community. We can do it at home, we did it at home, we'll do it at home. Why'd you have to do it now?"
Fraser's shoulders went guard-duty rigid and he turned to wash his hands at the sink, every motion too crisp and precise. "I apologize if you didn't enjoy yourself, although I must say you did a remarkably successful imitation of pleasure."
"Don't you..." Ray's tongue got tangled up in his sudden anger and confusion and bone-deep fear. "Just don't. I'm never going to turn down a blow job, but you," Ray pointed two fingers at Fraser's stiff profile, "why're you trying to make it with me twenty-four seven?"
"That's a wild exaggeration, Ray. I apologize if my actions were offensive, but I would have thought you were more adventurous. Apparently, I was incorrect."
"Adventurous isn't the point!"
"Ray, please! This isn't the time or place to make a scene."
Ray gaped and sputtered like a fish on dry land, then turned on his heel, paused to zip up, and stalked out the door.
Dief was outside by the creepy sculpture, looking bored. Ray joined him and paced, his arms wrapped around himself, muttering and scowling at his feet. He caught the meet and greet lady peering out the door at him and bared his teeth at her.
When Fraser appeared in the doorway, saying a polite goodbye, Ray looked away.
The drive home was quiet and tense, Dief looking back and forth between them and, judging from Fraser's side of the conversation, trying to stick his nose into things that didn't involve him.
Ray hauled some of their purchases into the cabin, then left Fraser to unpack and went out to chop wood. He wasn't the chopping machine Fraser was, but he liked it. It got him into the zen rhythm thing he had with a punching bag, plus it drained some of the energy that made him do bad, stupid things, things that might break him and Fraser for good.
By the time he went back into the cabin he was sweaty and wrung out. Fraser met him by the door, holding out a steaming mug. Ray hesitated, then took it, nearly burning his tongue on the hot, sweet coffee but gulping it anyway.
"I’m sorry." Fraser was looking at him, steady, even, and not sarcastic at all.
Ray felt something inside him ease and nodded.
"It was my fault," Fraser added.
The knot tightened again and Ray narrowed his eyes. "What was?"
Fraser shifted his weight and cracked his neck. "I made you uncomfortable. I should have allowed you your personal space."
"Nope. Wrong. You can blow me on fucking Mackenzie Road for all I care."
Sighing, Fraser said, "Well, Ray, clearly I offended you and for that I apologize. Again." He took a couple deep breaths and visibly made himself relax, then leaned closer, his voice losing its edge. "Now, how would you like to spend the rest of the day?"
"Why? You want to get yours?"
"I certainly would not mind."
"Not gonna happen."
Fraser frowned at that, looking for a minute like he might bitch or lecture or do something remotely normal, but then he simply replied, "Perhaps I’ll go begin lunch preparations, then."
"And now you won’t argue with me! You’re completely cracked!"
"I simply don’t want to pursue what is clearly an unproductive and unpleasant line of discussion. You might consider a similar tactic."
Ray followed Fraser into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as Fraser rummaged through the cabinets.
"See, there’s a couple things I’ve noticed about you. I was a detective, you know. We notice stuff."
Fraser ignored him.
"You stop at lights when you’re in a burning car. You open doors for people." Ray splashed coffee on his hand, gesturing, and hastily put down the mug. "You stick up for the little guy. You’re polite, Fraser."
"That doesn’t mean I’m sexually repressed," Fraser snapped, slamming a cabinet.
"No, you don’t do all that stuff 'cause you’re repressed or uptight or whatever. You do it 'cause you believe so much in community. You want to be part of a community, to make it better for everyone. You wanted that even in Chicago, and you hated it there."
By the end Ray was yelling, trying to out-volume Fraser, who was saying, "Of course, Ray. That’s perfectly obvious and completely irrelevant."
Ray lifted his hand and began counting off on his fingers, starting with his pinky, "We drove all over town today." Ring finger, "You let me buy total crap at the store and didn’t say a damn thing." Middle finger, "You didn’t help that lady with the kids with her groceries. You didn’t even see her, did you?" Forefinger, "You were in a room with a dozen strangers all voluntarily learning about history and culture and crap, and you didn’t introduce yourself to any of them." Ray held his splayed hand out towards Fraser, ticking the last point off on his thumb. "You broke the law."
Fraser leaned against the counter opposite Ray. "Well, what about you, Ray?" He began to count points off on his own fingers, voice acid. "You commence a public homosexual relationship. You quit your job. You move to the Northwest Territories. You want to learn about its history and culture. You object to spontaneous oral sex."
"Well, I’m a wacky guy who wants to live happily ever after in a frozen hellhole with you," Ray spat, glaring. "But, and listen to me, ‘cause this is important; I can’t do that if you’re going to turn into some sort of gay Stepford Fraser."
"You can't leave!" Fraser opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, but nothing came out and he snapped it shut again. He turned around, dropping his head and bracing his arms on the counter.
Crossing their little kitchen in three steps, Ray rested his forehead against that spot at the base of Fraser's neck. "I'm not going anywhere. But you can't..." Jesus, Fraser was trembling. Maybe they both were. They just stood like that for a while, Fraser breathing loudly and Ray trying not to feel sick.
"Ray, I..." Fraser’s voice came out loud and he gasped a little and pushed on. "You know I don't have much experience in this area, and what experience I have does not lend itself to healthy relationships."
"Yeah, I know."
"I don't want you to be bored or... I don't know if you'll stay. I don't know how to make it attractive for you to stay."
Bristling, Ray shoved forward a little in frustration. "Except by changing your personality and keeping me fuck-stupid? Don't you think I'm smart enough to notice?"
"No. Not stupid." His voice sounded terrible; low, raw, and embarrassed. "It's not something I thought out."
"You're an idiot, Fraser."
After a moment, Fraser sighed and said, "Yes, I think I may be."
"I'm here, okay? I'm here, I'm staying. That's that. Now you just gotta figure out how to be normal, I mean you-normal, and have me around."
"That is surprisingly challenging."
"For you? Yeah, I figure."
Ray rested his chin on Fraser’s shoulder, Fraser tilting his head to brush the side of his face against Ray’s cheek.
"Not just because of my own failings. I do find you terribly distracting."
"Yeah, well, I'm a distracting guy. But you gotta pay attention to the rest of the world and try to keep it zipped until we get home, okay? Like me, as a responsible Inuvikian, Inuvikite, Canadian, I do my part for the community by screwing my guy at home."
"I'll do my best. And Ray?"
Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser, trying to hold him down, in one place, whole, and murmured, "Uh-huh?"
"I'm afraid I did give you far too much leeway in the market today. Many of your choices were economically imprudent, nutritionally bereft, impractical for lengthy storage in limited space, and in many other ways inappropriate for..."
Ray grinned and kissed Fraser’s neck, relaxing into the solid, familiar body and the more familiar lecture, then dropped his hands to Fraser's pants and popped the top button. If Fraser was back to normal, for now at least, then, as a responsible Canadian, Ray had a debt to pay.
The End.
Pictures of Inuvik, including the musk ox, the Northern pov display, and the maybe not creepy after all sculpture.
Pairing: F/K
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3300 words, more or less.
Summary: Fraser behaves in an indecorous manner during a trip to town.
Notes: Many thanks to omphale23 and lipstickcat for beta, and for their patience with my "Is it better now? How about now?" tendencies. Written for inuvikdotcom prompt 73. Western Arctic Regional Visitor Centre Open June to September Located on Mackenzie Road as soon as you enter town. The visitor centre contains many interesting exhibits of art flora and fauna, wildlife, information on Beaufort Delta communities and tourism information. Arctic Circle Certificates available here!
Ray might have had a weird sort of feeling that something was wrong with Fraser, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it and mostly didn't think about it. Things were good, things were great. It wasn't until a Tuesday in early September that he finally wised up.
The day's first clue might have been how Fraser wouldn't let him out of bed in the morning, despite their plans to go into town. It had been late summer by the time Fraser's transfer came through for sure and they'd come up to find a place. Ray'd been around Inuvik a bit, got to know some people, but winter was coming on fast and he didn't want it to set in with him half-arrived, half-knowing what was out there. He was used to being in the know, street-smart. Street-smart was crazy different up here where there weren't many reliable roads, much less many paved roads, and most of the year there'd be snow anyway, so time was short and he had to catch up.
Fraser had a different idea, waking Ray up with a slow, lazy grind session that left them come-smeared and twisted up together, kissing. Ray was one hundred percent A-OK with Fraser's unexpected ability to wallow, but, finally, with a huge effort of will, he dragged his limp self out of bed, got them caffeinated and cleaned up (locking the door when he took his shower, just to be safe) and into the truck.
They had a list of things to do, not a huge list, but a list. Fraser had to stop by the RCMP headquarters to deal with some paperwork, then they needed to stock up at North Mart, and Ray wanted to check out the tourist center - no, centre - place. Not usually his cup of bark tea, but what the hell. It was part of their new little town and he needed to check it out.
At the RCMP station Fraser acted pretty normal, introducing Dief and Ray around. His new boss didn't seem completely batshit insane, which was a nice change of pace. But clues number two and three came pretty soon after, when Fraser ran a hand up Ray's inner thigh as they drove to the store and then pinned him against the driver's side window, kissing him over and over before he pulled himself free, gasping and adjusting himself in his pants, and got them back on track.
They went a little crazy at the store, buying all kinds of stuff for the new place and loading up on food. Ray piled the cart high with candy and coffee and food with no nutritional value at all. It became a game, Ray trying provoke Fraser, but Fraser just grinned this soft, sappy grin and let him have it all.
After the store, at the visitor's place, Fraser made chitchat with Lorna, the meet and greet lady, while Ray got an official looking Certificate of the Arctic Circle Chapter, Order of Adventurers, with his real name on it, which was pretty cool. When Fraser and Lorna got into a debate on global warming, Ray wandered off to join Dief, who was staring in horror at the stuffed musk ox.
He was moseying along, checking out the displays, bumping elbows with the few late-season tourists, when Fraser caught up to him a little later and slipped a hand into the rear pocket of Ray's jeans. He leaned in close and said, warm against Ray's ear, "I'm sorry, I got distracted. If you're bored, we can go home," tugging slightly at the pocket.
"Not bored, Fraser. I'm reading."
"Reading about pingos, I see."
"Yeah. I'm all about the pingos."
"That's odd. If I remember correctly, which I'm sure I do, on the quest I attempted to give you a thorough explanation of the difference between hydrostatic and hydraulic pingo formations. At the time, you did not express much interest in the subject, and, indeed, in short order made it a physical impossibility for me to continue comprehensible speech. Don't you remember, Ray?"
Ray started a quick scan for potential eavesdroppers before he realized that nobody else would probably even recognize Fraser's unique style of dirty talk.
"Well, now I want to read about them."
Still with one hand in Ray's pocket, snug against his ass, Fraser moved to stand close behind him and rested his free hand on his shoulder. Even through his jacket Ray could feel Fraser's thumb rubbing in slow circles right on the spot that made him go all lazy and needy.
Jerking himself free, Ray went to check out another display. Fraser, the stubborn bastard, followed close behind him.
"Ah, the Mad Trapper of Rat Creek. Yes, that is quite a mystery."
"What's the mystery, Fraser? Nutjob shoots people, is really good at running away. We've got plenty of those in Chicago."
"Well, Ray, what made that incident unique..."
"Hey, it's Death Hunt! Great movie. Lee Marvin and Charles Bronson."
"While I have not had the pleasure, I'm told it's far from an accurate recounting of the events."
Ray grinned at the display. "Just remembered. There was a hot Mountie in it. No wonder I liked it."
When Fraser didn't say anything, Ray made the mistake of glancing his way. Fraser was watching him intently, and, damn, how had he ever been stupid enough to think that expression was just some innocent accident or his screwed up, torture the sad sack partner luck. Fraser looked like sex on a stick because he was, pure and simple. Noticing Ray's attention, Fraser threw in a nice slow version of the tongue/lip thing.
Jerking his eyes back up, Ray said, "Fraser, no. I'm here for 'information about the community of Inuvik, and to see the displays about the whole western Arctic region' like it says right here." Ray held up the pamphlet in front of Fraser's face. "I gotta know the place if I'm going to stay here, right?"
"If you're truly interested in improving your knowledge of the area, you may be neglecting a valuable resource."
Ray squinted at him. "Oh, yeah?"
Smiling, Fraser replied, "I am a veritable fount of knowledge, Ray. Perhaps if we went home I could begin your lessons."
"We already had a 'lesson' this morning. I think you can go without teaching me anything else for an hour or two."
"I'm not so sure about that. I take my duties very seriously, as you know."
"Well, take this seriously. I'm going to read about bears and the delta and the people whose name I can't say right, so I don't sound more like a dumbass than I have to. You are going to pretend you're a grown-up with a sense of, you know, decorum."
Ray felt he'd laid down the law pretty effectively, until Fraser licked his ear in front of a display called "Our Northern Point of View." That was bad enough, but the teenage French girl giggling at them was the last straw.
"That's it." Ray dragged Fraser down the short hallway and pulled him into the restroom, a hand fisted in his shirt. Pushing Fraser against the door, he leaned in and kissed him hard, Fraser's lips eager against his. Remembering his point, he jerked away and said, "No, wait. That wasn't what I meant to do. What's going on with you?"
Fraser didn't answer, except by swinging him around until his back was against the door and dropping to his knees, which was how the final great big 'Ray's a fucking idiot' clue came when Fraser blew him in the visitor's centre bathroom.
"What are you doing?" Ray didn't get any time to feel stupid about the dumb question before Fraser was already working on his zipper, shoving his jeans down and pulling out his cock. "Jesus, Fraser."
Without hesitating at all, Fraser opened up and sucked him in, Ray's half-hard cock fitting easily, so he could feel himself hardening against Fraser's hot, wet tongue and the ridges at the top of his mouth.
"God, Fraser, you... you..." Ray's head hit the door with a hollow thunk, his brain going into frantic squirrel mode. There were people on the other side of the door. And, sure, most were tourists, but some they'd have to live with, and this was not the first impression the new Corporal Fraser and his wacky-haired Yank partner needed to make. Ray'd try to explain this to Fraser, but if he took his wrist out of his mouth then everybody in the building would find out he was a moaner.
So, Ray resigned himself to his fate and let Fraser suck and lick on him, buried his free hand in Fraser's hair and tried to keep his brain in his skull, the sounds in his throat. Fraser was so fucking good at this, always had been. So hungry for it, turning all his focus and skill on Ray, always trying to figure out ways to take more, take him higher, turn him inside out and break him and put him back together again.
He'd done the anonymous bathroom blow job thing before, before Fraser, and it was kind of hot and kind of sickening to have it again, the desperate need for quiet, the echoey sounds of sucking and skin on skin and harsh breathing in a small space. Ray looked down and imagined Fraser on his knees for strangers, just taking whatever they had to give, and his hips thrust forward, trying to fit more of his cock inside, trying to make that mouth just a little more his, all his, only his.
And, goddamn it, somehow Fraser'd got his finger just slick enough and was teasing Ray with it, making him spread his legs as far as they'd go with his jeans still around his thighs, making him rock forward and back and want, oh god, yes, really want Fraser to fuck him right now.
Fraser worked a finger in and Ray bit harder, the pain in his wrist a sharp counterpoint to the sweet hot pressure building in him, making him shake. Fraser was working him now, rubbing up against the spot and sucking him hard and he couldn't last, he was coming and he was gone, gasping and coming in Fraser's mouth, everything whiting out for that moment.
Ray slumped against the door, trying to catch his breath. His brain put-putted back to life, the clues finally coming clear and beginning to add up.
"Ray?"
Without opening his eyes, Ray made a 'shut up' hand motion. Something about this was familiar. Fraser was all over him all the time, too eager, too horny, too affectionate. Doing things he wouldn't normally do. With a sick lurch in his gut he remembered Stella, all the pathetic ways he'd tried to prove his love, to earn and re-earn and hold onto hers.
While he was thinking, Fraser'd stood up. He interrupted Ray's brainstorm by asking, "Is something wrong?"
"Yeah." Ray opened his eyes and focused on Fraser, whose lips were all swollen and sexy, but whose eyes were tense. "What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nope, no way. You know. Fraser, this is public, this is your fucking community. We can do it at home, we did it at home, we'll do it at home. Why'd you have to do it now?"
Fraser's shoulders went guard-duty rigid and he turned to wash his hands at the sink, every motion too crisp and precise. "I apologize if you didn't enjoy yourself, although I must say you did a remarkably successful imitation of pleasure."
"Don't you..." Ray's tongue got tangled up in his sudden anger and confusion and bone-deep fear. "Just don't. I'm never going to turn down a blow job, but you," Ray pointed two fingers at Fraser's stiff profile, "why're you trying to make it with me twenty-four seven?"
"That's a wild exaggeration, Ray. I apologize if my actions were offensive, but I would have thought you were more adventurous. Apparently, I was incorrect."
"Adventurous isn't the point!"
"Ray, please! This isn't the time or place to make a scene."
Ray gaped and sputtered like a fish on dry land, then turned on his heel, paused to zip up, and stalked out the door.
Dief was outside by the creepy sculpture, looking bored. Ray joined him and paced, his arms wrapped around himself, muttering and scowling at his feet. He caught the meet and greet lady peering out the door at him and bared his teeth at her.
When Fraser appeared in the doorway, saying a polite goodbye, Ray looked away.
The drive home was quiet and tense, Dief looking back and forth between them and, judging from Fraser's side of the conversation, trying to stick his nose into things that didn't involve him.
Ray hauled some of their purchases into the cabin, then left Fraser to unpack and went out to chop wood. He wasn't the chopping machine Fraser was, but he liked it. It got him into the zen rhythm thing he had with a punching bag, plus it drained some of the energy that made him do bad, stupid things, things that might break him and Fraser for good.
By the time he went back into the cabin he was sweaty and wrung out. Fraser met him by the door, holding out a steaming mug. Ray hesitated, then took it, nearly burning his tongue on the hot, sweet coffee but gulping it anyway.
"I’m sorry." Fraser was looking at him, steady, even, and not sarcastic at all.
Ray felt something inside him ease and nodded.
"It was my fault," Fraser added.
The knot tightened again and Ray narrowed his eyes. "What was?"
Fraser shifted his weight and cracked his neck. "I made you uncomfortable. I should have allowed you your personal space."
"Nope. Wrong. You can blow me on fucking Mackenzie Road for all I care."
Sighing, Fraser said, "Well, Ray, clearly I offended you and for that I apologize. Again." He took a couple deep breaths and visibly made himself relax, then leaned closer, his voice losing its edge. "Now, how would you like to spend the rest of the day?"
"Why? You want to get yours?"
"I certainly would not mind."
"Not gonna happen."
Fraser frowned at that, looking for a minute like he might bitch or lecture or do something remotely normal, but then he simply replied, "Perhaps I’ll go begin lunch preparations, then."
"And now you won’t argue with me! You’re completely cracked!"
"I simply don’t want to pursue what is clearly an unproductive and unpleasant line of discussion. You might consider a similar tactic."
Ray followed Fraser into the kitchen and leaned against the counter as Fraser rummaged through the cabinets.
"See, there’s a couple things I’ve noticed about you. I was a detective, you know. We notice stuff."
Fraser ignored him.
"You stop at lights when you’re in a burning car. You open doors for people." Ray splashed coffee on his hand, gesturing, and hastily put down the mug. "You stick up for the little guy. You’re polite, Fraser."
"That doesn’t mean I’m sexually repressed," Fraser snapped, slamming a cabinet.
"No, you don’t do all that stuff 'cause you’re repressed or uptight or whatever. You do it 'cause you believe so much in community. You want to be part of a community, to make it better for everyone. You wanted that even in Chicago, and you hated it there."
By the end Ray was yelling, trying to out-volume Fraser, who was saying, "Of course, Ray. That’s perfectly obvious and completely irrelevant."
Ray lifted his hand and began counting off on his fingers, starting with his pinky, "We drove all over town today." Ring finger, "You let me buy total crap at the store and didn’t say a damn thing." Middle finger, "You didn’t help that lady with the kids with her groceries. You didn’t even see her, did you?" Forefinger, "You were in a room with a dozen strangers all voluntarily learning about history and culture and crap, and you didn’t introduce yourself to any of them." Ray held his splayed hand out towards Fraser, ticking the last point off on his thumb. "You broke the law."
Fraser leaned against the counter opposite Ray. "Well, what about you, Ray?" He began to count points off on his own fingers, voice acid. "You commence a public homosexual relationship. You quit your job. You move to the Northwest Territories. You want to learn about its history and culture. You object to spontaneous oral sex."
"Well, I’m a wacky guy who wants to live happily ever after in a frozen hellhole with you," Ray spat, glaring. "But, and listen to me, ‘cause this is important; I can’t do that if you’re going to turn into some sort of gay Stepford Fraser."
"You can't leave!" Fraser opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, but nothing came out and he snapped it shut again. He turned around, dropping his head and bracing his arms on the counter.
Crossing their little kitchen in three steps, Ray rested his forehead against that spot at the base of Fraser's neck. "I'm not going anywhere. But you can't..." Jesus, Fraser was trembling. Maybe they both were. They just stood like that for a while, Fraser breathing loudly and Ray trying not to feel sick.
"Ray, I..." Fraser’s voice came out loud and he gasped a little and pushed on. "You know I don't have much experience in this area, and what experience I have does not lend itself to healthy relationships."
"Yeah, I know."
"I don't want you to be bored or... I don't know if you'll stay. I don't know how to make it attractive for you to stay."
Bristling, Ray shoved forward a little in frustration. "Except by changing your personality and keeping me fuck-stupid? Don't you think I'm smart enough to notice?"
"No. Not stupid." His voice sounded terrible; low, raw, and embarrassed. "It's not something I thought out."
"You're an idiot, Fraser."
After a moment, Fraser sighed and said, "Yes, I think I may be."
"I'm here, okay? I'm here, I'm staying. That's that. Now you just gotta figure out how to be normal, I mean you-normal, and have me around."
"That is surprisingly challenging."
"For you? Yeah, I figure."
Ray rested his chin on Fraser’s shoulder, Fraser tilting his head to brush the side of his face against Ray’s cheek.
"Not just because of my own failings. I do find you terribly distracting."
"Yeah, well, I'm a distracting guy. But you gotta pay attention to the rest of the world and try to keep it zipped until we get home, okay? Like me, as a responsible Inuvikian, Inuvikite, Canadian, I do my part for the community by screwing my guy at home."
"I'll do my best. And Ray?"
Ray wrapped his arms around Fraser, trying to hold him down, in one place, whole, and murmured, "Uh-huh?"
"I'm afraid I did give you far too much leeway in the market today. Many of your choices were economically imprudent, nutritionally bereft, impractical for lengthy storage in limited space, and in many other ways inappropriate for..."
Ray grinned and kissed Fraser’s neck, relaxing into the solid, familiar body and the more familiar lecture, then dropped his hands to Fraser's pants and popped the top button. If Fraser was back to normal, for now at least, then, as a responsible Canadian, Ray had a debt to pay.
The End.
Pictures of Inuvik, including the musk ox, the Northern pov display, and the maybe not creepy after all sculpture.