QaF Cannibal CrackFic Chap 4
Title: Ma, Can I keep him?
Chapter: 4/?
Pairing: B/J, implied E/J; also possibly, inter-species pairing (Hey, we're still not sure of Mikey's parentage)
Rating: R
Warnings: None so far. It is afterall a cannibal fic. Nothing squicky, just allusions to things that might make people uncomfortable. The word 'eviscerate' is used quite a bit.
Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip (or their sheets) or the boys.
Summary: This is crack!fic. It is a cannibal crack!fic. It is tongue-in-cheek black humor. This is the warning within the summary. Debbie is the Sweeney Todd type living in some backwater town (not too far from Pittsburgh) with her mentally disturbed son, Mikey (yes, I stuck to canon) and adopted son, Brian. Justin and Ethan are passing through.
Previous Chapters in my memories
Chapter 4
One of the side benefits of being a small, backwater town that lay between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh were the queers coming back from their shopping excursions into Philly, laden down with designer items. Items such as linens with labels like Millesimo & Milos and sheets with thread counts of 1020. It was on one of these such excursions that two queers by the names of Dan and Ron had been relieved of the aforementioned bedding by Brian - afterall, they wouldn't be needing them anymore. The only bedding they would require was a hoagie roll. Brian had no problem keeping the bedding from Debbie. The sheets and duvet were a beautiful steel gray, and per Debbie, they wouldn't go with the splashy, floral decor of her room. Brian had to concur - the only thing that would go with Debbie's decor were if the townies were to come into her room and spew on the walls - but Brian kept that opinion to himself. As for Mikey, well, he had stated over and over again he would never part with his beloved Incredible Hulk sheets. Because of the bedding Brian had acquired, he had the softest, most luxurious bed of the entire homestead, which is why it made perfect sense to let one Justin Taylor rest on said bed to recuperate whilst Brian went about his business.
It was also probably the safest room in the house. It would be best to deal with Debbie in the morning. But right now, Brian had other 'things' to deal with.
The thing he was referring to was still very much asleep in his truckbed.
Once Brian had unloaded the motorcycle into the garage, he unloaded the greasy-haired body into one of the cages in the "pen." It was a very roomy cage - the standard size of a jail cell in county jails. As soon as Brian had dumped the body into the cage and retrieved its wallet, he closed the door and locked it.
It was just in time too. The figure started to stir.
"Oh God." The thing was holding its head and groaning, "I feel like shit."
Brian was looking through the wallet as he replied, "well, it's not a room at the Ritz Carlton, but it satisfies our purposes. So, what do we have here? Hmmm? Ethan Gold. Is that you?" At that moment Brian held up Ethan's driver license. "Not a very flattering photo. Then again," Brian snickered while looking directly at Ethan, "you have to consider the subject."
"Who are you? Where am I? I demand to know what the fuck's going on!"
"Here's the deal Ian..."
"Ethan..."
"Like it really matters anymore. Here's the deal. I'll speak and you'll nod your head 'yes' or 'no' when I ask you a question. Otherwise, no talking, okay?"
Ethan looked back at Brian blankly.
"Ian? This is not a hard question. 'Yes' or 'no?'"
Ethan nodded his head 'yes.'
"Okay, good!" Brian clapped his hands together and started to pace the room. "Where to begin. I'm sure you've probably heard of a tasty sausage with the label 'Debbie's Delicacies,' right? Ian, now would be the time to nod your head yes or no."
"You didn't really ask a question. You posed a statement. The question should have been...." But Ethan didn't get to finish his sentence because Brian had reached in and grabbed Ethan by his grubby shirt collar and brought his face right up to the bars.
"Now, you listen you little Shit. Don't get smart with me. I will make you regret it. You can die slowly or you can die quickly and painlessly. It's your choice and you don't have very many of them right now. Now, I'll repeat the question and I'll pose it so you can understand me. Have. You. Heard. Of. The. Sausage. Label 'Debbie's Delicacies' Ian?"
Ethan was about to respond and decided that now was not the time. He nodded his head in the affirmative.
"Good boy," Brian said while patting Ethan on its cheek. He released Ethan and Ethan jumped back from the bars. "I'll continue now. Debbie uses a variety of ingredients in her sausage, which I would like to add, is doing very well in the stores in and surrounding Pittsburgh. I guess you could say I'm with the 'Meat Procurement Department.'" Brian smiled at Ethan at that last bit.
Ethan looked up at Brian. Ethan decided that if Satan were real, he would have that smile. Sometimes, Ethan was alittle slow on the uptake. For some reason, at this moment in time, all his synapses were firing and things began to click into place. Ethan became very pale and then he began to speak in a voice that he didn't know he still possessed.
"You mean...Debbie's Delicacies is made from...from...people? Oh God," Ethan started to pace in his cell. "Debbie's Delicacies is...it's...it's people!"
"Christ kid! Who do you think you are, Charleton Heston? Okay, so now you know who I am. Now you know what you are and your final purpose in life is - think of it as giving back to the community."
Ethan started to feel sick. Brian noted the fact that Ethan was turning three shades of pale, if that was possible. He decided it was probably a good time to get the bucket and place in in the cell.
"Justin? Where's Justin? He hasn't been...he's not..."
"No, he's fine. He's safe. He hasn't been eaten...yet," Brian said with a smile as he turned and walked out of the pen.
The way Brian had said those parting words made Ethan very grateful that Brian had put the bucket there just in time.
TBC
Go to Chapter 5
Feedback is appreciated - unless anyone wants that bucket?
Chapter: 4/?
Pairing: B/J, implied E/J; also possibly, inter-species pairing (Hey, we're still not sure of Mikey's parentage)
Rating: R
Warnings: None so far. It is afterall a cannibal fic. Nothing squicky, just allusions to things that might make people uncomfortable. The word 'eviscerate' is used quite a bit.
Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip (or their sheets) or the boys.
Summary: This is crack!fic. It is a cannibal crack!fic. It is tongue-in-cheek black humor. This is the warning within the summary. Debbie is the Sweeney Todd type living in some backwater town (not too far from Pittsburgh) with her mentally disturbed son, Mikey (yes, I stuck to canon) and adopted son, Brian. Justin and Ethan are passing through.
Previous Chapters in my memories
Chapter 4
One of the side benefits of being a small, backwater town that lay between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh were the queers coming back from their shopping excursions into Philly, laden down with designer items. Items such as linens with labels like Millesimo & Milos and sheets with thread counts of 1020. It was on one of these such excursions that two queers by the names of Dan and Ron had been relieved of the aforementioned bedding by Brian - afterall, they wouldn't be needing them anymore. The only bedding they would require was a hoagie roll. Brian had no problem keeping the bedding from Debbie. The sheets and duvet were a beautiful steel gray, and per Debbie, they wouldn't go with the splashy, floral decor of her room. Brian had to concur - the only thing that would go with Debbie's decor were if the townies were to come into her room and spew on the walls - but Brian kept that opinion to himself. As for Mikey, well, he had stated over and over again he would never part with his beloved Incredible Hulk sheets. Because of the bedding Brian had acquired, he had the softest, most luxurious bed of the entire homestead, which is why it made perfect sense to let one Justin Taylor rest on said bed to recuperate whilst Brian went about his business.
It was also probably the safest room in the house. It would be best to deal with Debbie in the morning. But right now, Brian had other 'things' to deal with.
The thing he was referring to was still very much asleep in his truckbed.
Once Brian had unloaded the motorcycle into the garage, he unloaded the greasy-haired body into one of the cages in the "pen." It was a very roomy cage - the standard size of a jail cell in county jails. As soon as Brian had dumped the body into the cage and retrieved its wallet, he closed the door and locked it.
It was just in time too. The figure started to stir.
"Oh God." The thing was holding its head and groaning, "I feel like shit."
Brian was looking through the wallet as he replied, "well, it's not a room at the Ritz Carlton, but it satisfies our purposes. So, what do we have here? Hmmm? Ethan Gold. Is that you?" At that moment Brian held up Ethan's driver license. "Not a very flattering photo. Then again," Brian snickered while looking directly at Ethan, "you have to consider the subject."
"Who are you? Where am I? I demand to know what the fuck's going on!"
"Here's the deal Ian..."
"Ethan..."
"Like it really matters anymore. Here's the deal. I'll speak and you'll nod your head 'yes' or 'no' when I ask you a question. Otherwise, no talking, okay?"
Ethan looked back at Brian blankly.
"Ian? This is not a hard question. 'Yes' or 'no?'"
Ethan nodded his head 'yes.'
"Okay, good!" Brian clapped his hands together and started to pace the room. "Where to begin. I'm sure you've probably heard of a tasty sausage with the label 'Debbie's Delicacies,' right? Ian, now would be the time to nod your head yes or no."
"You didn't really ask a question. You posed a statement. The question should have been...." But Ethan didn't get to finish his sentence because Brian had reached in and grabbed Ethan by his grubby shirt collar and brought his face right up to the bars.
"Now, you listen you little Shit. Don't get smart with me. I will make you regret it. You can die slowly or you can die quickly and painlessly. It's your choice and you don't have very many of them right now. Now, I'll repeat the question and I'll pose it so you can understand me. Have. You. Heard. Of. The. Sausage. Label 'Debbie's Delicacies' Ian?"
Ethan was about to respond and decided that now was not the time. He nodded his head in the affirmative.
"Good boy," Brian said while patting Ethan on its cheek. He released Ethan and Ethan jumped back from the bars. "I'll continue now. Debbie uses a variety of ingredients in her sausage, which I would like to add, is doing very well in the stores in and surrounding Pittsburgh. I guess you could say I'm with the 'Meat Procurement Department.'" Brian smiled at Ethan at that last bit.
Ethan looked up at Brian. Ethan decided that if Satan were real, he would have that smile. Sometimes, Ethan was alittle slow on the uptake. For some reason, at this moment in time, all his synapses were firing and things began to click into place. Ethan became very pale and then he began to speak in a voice that he didn't know he still possessed.
"You mean...Debbie's Delicacies is made from...from...people? Oh God," Ethan started to pace in his cell. "Debbie's Delicacies is...it's...it's people!"
"Christ kid! Who do you think you are, Charleton Heston? Okay, so now you know who I am. Now you know what you are and your final purpose in life is - think of it as giving back to the community."
Ethan started to feel sick. Brian noted the fact that Ethan was turning three shades of pale, if that was possible. He decided it was probably a good time to get the bucket and place in in the cell.
"Justin? Where's Justin? He hasn't been...he's not..."
"No, he's fine. He's safe. He hasn't been eaten...yet," Brian said with a smile as he turned and walked out of the pen.
The way Brian had said those parting words made Ethan very grateful that Brian had put the bucket there just in time.
TBC
Go to Chapter 5
Feedback is appreciated - unless anyone wants that bucket?