QaF Cannibal Crack!Fic Snippet "Conversations at Muncher Villa"
So this is a little snippet (or ficlet or whatever) in the cannibal!verse (not an actual chapter as this next chapter is still majorly kicking my ass).
It's Joyce's (critic75) birthday tomorrow (Happy Birthday Joyce) and since this is her most favorite story, I thought I'd write her into the ficlet. Don't worry though - they don't EAT her!
Actually, I don't know why I never thought of this before so if anyone else ever wants to be written into the cannibal!verse for their birthday, let me know and I'll put you on a special-cannibal-birthday-type-thing list.
Remember, it's all good clean fun!
Conversations at Muncher Villa
Pairing: Brian/Justin (they still managed to make it here); original female characters
Rating: R?
Summary: Conversations had over a card game at the boarding house among some of the inhabitants.
Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip or the boys or Joyce for that matter but I do own the rights to Gwen, Esther and Betsy. Also, I don't own anymore of the cool dildo like cat Happy Meal toys as they stopped giving those out now. They have Pretty Pony though (Yech!)
"I'm full. Breakfast was delightful," Gwen remarked. "Lindsay seems to be in a great mood. I wonder what's for lunch?"
"Can you stop thinking about food for just once?" Esther said. "Lets play blackjack." Esther retrieved the deck of playing cards from the credenza while Gwen and Betsy sat down at the table.
"So are you in Joyce?" Esther asked while shuffling.
"Sure, deal me in," Joyce replied.
"So, when do you think the girls are going to start showing," Esther said as she flipped one of her two cards up.
"Oh please," Joyce said, "they just got the sperm a few days ago." She looked at the hand dealt to her. "I win," she said as she placed her cards on the table, an Ace of Spades and a Queen of Hearts.
Betsy looked over and growled.
Joyce looked at her long time friend and patted her hand. "It's okay, maybe you'll get it the next round, hon."
"I'm not talking about that! Do we have to use the 's' word at the table? It's always 'sperm this' and 'sperm that,'" Betsy whined.
Everyone bit their lip to keep from saying anything.
"I just hope it mellows Mel out a little," Gwen said while looking at the new hand she was dealt. "Hit me."
"Well, I don't think there's anything in this world that could lighten that woman's mood," Joyce replied as she threw a card back to Esther and was given another.
"Blackjack," Betsy yelled as she put her cards down on the table.
"No dear," Esther said, "that equals twenty-three. Really honey, your math does leave something to be desired."
"It's all this talk of sperm," Betsy grumbled.
"I think Lindsay will be a wonderful mother," Gwen said dreamily.
"And Mel?" asked Esther.
Gwen looked thoughtful. "I think Lindsay will make a wonderful mother."
"I win," Joyce called out. "This really must be my day! I wish we were betting," Joyce said while beaming.
"Again?" Gwen asked. She then took a sip of her tea. "You think with all the arsenic that we ingest, that maybe we're building up a resistance to the stuff?"
"Somebody's been watching Princess Bride again," Esther sing-songed.
"In-con-ceivable," everyone said at the same time and then laughed.
"No I'm serious. Maybe we're like cockroaches or something," Gwen said conspiratorially.
"Sure thing," Esther said, "so during a nuclear bomb attack when everyone else reaches like, 1000 degrees Fahrenheit, we'll come out right as rain."
Everyone laughed again while Gwen made a face looking at her hand.
"So," Esther said, "have you seen the little blond that's always with Kinney lately?"
"How can you not notice him - he's a cutie," Betsy said as she concentrated on her cards real hard, doing mental addition in her head.
"I hope he doesn't end up in the sausage," Joyce said while rearranging her cards.
"Him?" Esther scoffed. "Not with his Kinney-watch dog around. Do you see the way that man protects that boy?"
"I saw them copulating in the dressing room at the mercantile the other day," Gwen said with a smile on her face.
"Well, I saw them doing it up against a truck a while back," Betsy replied while throwing in one of her cards.
"Well, I saw the little one, I think his name is Justin, giving Kinney a blowjob after that accident that happened with Mikey, you know, with the piranha?" Esther exclaimed. "It was in the hospital parking lot for all the world to see."
"Okay, this is so not fair. Everyone gets to see it but me," Joyce whined.
"Oh dear, now now, Brian likes to do it whatever chance he gets. I'm sure you're bound to see it one day," Esther said as she patted Joyce's hand.
"If the arsenic doesn't get you first," Betsy added in.
"Personally, I'd rather be put in the sausage - a nice, quick end," Gwen said while concentrating on her cards. "This slow death shit is just pissing me off."
"Can I tell you gals something?" Joyce looked around and then leaned in to whisper. "I haven't been drinking the tea," she said while biting her lip and then sitting up straight to gauge the other's reactions.
"What? But how?" they started to exclaim.
"Mel doesn't check. I pretend to drink it, throw it in the potted plant and we're all happy."
"But then why put up with this place?" Gwen had to ask.
"I got lonely at home. Who would I play blackjack with there?"
Everyone sighed. Esther dealt another card to Betsy.
"I win," Betsy exclaimed. Everyone rolled their eyes and looked down at Betsy's hand. Sure enough, she had an Ace of Diamonds and a Jack of Hearts.
"Well, I for one am glad for Kinney," Esther said while dealing another round. "Brian seems much happier lately."
"Yeah, I mean, instead of him being a sociopath who eviscerates sentient beings for profit, he's a sociopath who still does the same thing, only with a smile on his face," Gwen shot back.
"See?" Esther asked sitting back. "Now do you always have to look on the down side of things. That's so like you," she said as she flipped her card over.
"Look, I don't really care what Brian does in his spare time," Joyce said. "Just once, just once, I'd like to see them in action." Joyce sighed, "I bet they're beautiful together."
Just then, Joyce heard the sound of a truck backfiring. She knew that truck sound. She was just about to ask the other girls if they heard it when she decided to get up and look out the window without disturbing the game.
Speak of the devil! There they were. Brian, standing tall and perfect in his overalls, hovering over a shorter man, the one they call Justin, pale and beautiful, leaning against a tree. Brian started to nuzzle at the boy's neck while Justin threw his head back in what appeared to be bliss.
Brian, not a man to waste any time, unbuckled Justin's overalls, and as they fell to the ground, turned the boy around and proceeded to prepare him, all the while whispering into the boy's ear.
Things Joyce would have loved to hear.
He then entered the boy (at least that was what it looked like to Joyce) and they both moved in tandem.
Joyce had wished she was a betting woman for she knew she would have won that bet as they were indeed beautiful, with the blissful and orgasmic face Justin made and the predatory and possessive stance Brian took.
It continued for a while until they finally both shuddered. Brian then turned the boy around, kissed him fiercely on the lips, then lastly, put both their overalls back on.
They both walked to the truck to get in, but just before Brian got into the vehicle, he glanced up and looked directly at Joyce. He then smiled and waved, after which he got back into the truck and drove off.
"Joyce?" Esther asked. "What are you doing over there?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing," Joyce replied with a smile.
This day was definitely going her way.
Joyce sat down at the table while everyone stared at their cards.
"So...," Gwen started, "what's for lunch?"
The End
So, Joyce, were you IC or OOC?
It's Joyce's (critic75) birthday tomorrow (Happy Birthday Joyce) and since this is her most favorite story, I thought I'd write her into the ficlet. Don't worry though - they don't EAT her!
Actually, I don't know why I never thought of this before so if anyone else ever wants to be written into the cannibal!verse for their birthday, let me know and I'll put you on a special-cannibal-birthday-type-thing list.
Remember, it's all good clean fun!
Conversations at Muncher Villa
Pairing: Brian/Justin (they still managed to make it here); original female characters
Rating: R?
Summary: Conversations had over a card game at the boarding house among some of the inhabitants.
Disclaimers: I don't own Cowlip or the boys or Joyce for that matter but I do own the rights to Gwen, Esther and Betsy. Also, I don't own anymore of the cool dildo like cat Happy Meal toys as they stopped giving those out now. They have Pretty Pony though (Yech!)
"I'm full. Breakfast was delightful," Gwen remarked. "Lindsay seems to be in a great mood. I wonder what's for lunch?"
"Can you stop thinking about food for just once?" Esther said. "Lets play blackjack." Esther retrieved the deck of playing cards from the credenza while Gwen and Betsy sat down at the table.
"So are you in Joyce?" Esther asked while shuffling.
"Sure, deal me in," Joyce replied.
"So, when do you think the girls are going to start showing," Esther said as she flipped one of her two cards up.
"Oh please," Joyce said, "they just got the sperm a few days ago." She looked at the hand dealt to her. "I win," she said as she placed her cards on the table, an Ace of Spades and a Queen of Hearts.
Betsy looked over and growled.
Joyce looked at her long time friend and patted her hand. "It's okay, maybe you'll get it the next round, hon."
"I'm not talking about that! Do we have to use the 's' word at the table? It's always 'sperm this' and 'sperm that,'" Betsy whined.
Everyone bit their lip to keep from saying anything.
"I just hope it mellows Mel out a little," Gwen said while looking at the new hand she was dealt. "Hit me."
"Well, I don't think there's anything in this world that could lighten that woman's mood," Joyce replied as she threw a card back to Esther and was given another.
"Blackjack," Betsy yelled as she put her cards down on the table.
"No dear," Esther said, "that equals twenty-three. Really honey, your math does leave something to be desired."
"It's all this talk of sperm," Betsy grumbled.
"I think Lindsay will be a wonderful mother," Gwen said dreamily.
"And Mel?" asked Esther.
Gwen looked thoughtful. "I think Lindsay will make a wonderful mother."
"I win," Joyce called out. "This really must be my day! I wish we were betting," Joyce said while beaming.
"Again?" Gwen asked. She then took a sip of her tea. "You think with all the arsenic that we ingest, that maybe we're building up a resistance to the stuff?"
"Somebody's been watching Princess Bride again," Esther sing-songed.
"In-con-ceivable," everyone said at the same time and then laughed.
"No I'm serious. Maybe we're like cockroaches or something," Gwen said conspiratorially.
"Sure thing," Esther said, "so during a nuclear bomb attack when everyone else reaches like, 1000 degrees Fahrenheit, we'll come out right as rain."
Everyone laughed again while Gwen made a face looking at her hand.
"So," Esther said, "have you seen the little blond that's always with Kinney lately?"
"How can you not notice him - he's a cutie," Betsy said as she concentrated on her cards real hard, doing mental addition in her head.
"I hope he doesn't end up in the sausage," Joyce said while rearranging her cards.
"Him?" Esther scoffed. "Not with his Kinney-watch dog around. Do you see the way that man protects that boy?"
"I saw them copulating in the dressing room at the mercantile the other day," Gwen said with a smile on her face.
"Well, I saw them doing it up against a truck a while back," Betsy replied while throwing in one of her cards.
"Well, I saw the little one, I think his name is Justin, giving Kinney a blowjob after that accident that happened with Mikey, you know, with the piranha?" Esther exclaimed. "It was in the hospital parking lot for all the world to see."
"Okay, this is so not fair. Everyone gets to see it but me," Joyce whined.
"Oh dear, now now, Brian likes to do it whatever chance he gets. I'm sure you're bound to see it one day," Esther said as she patted Joyce's hand.
"If the arsenic doesn't get you first," Betsy added in.
"Personally, I'd rather be put in the sausage - a nice, quick end," Gwen said while concentrating on her cards. "This slow death shit is just pissing me off."
"Can I tell you gals something?" Joyce looked around and then leaned in to whisper. "I haven't been drinking the tea," she said while biting her lip and then sitting up straight to gauge the other's reactions.
"What? But how?" they started to exclaim.
"Mel doesn't check. I pretend to drink it, throw it in the potted plant and we're all happy."
"But then why put up with this place?" Gwen had to ask.
"I got lonely at home. Who would I play blackjack with there?"
Everyone sighed. Esther dealt another card to Betsy.
"I win," Betsy exclaimed. Everyone rolled their eyes and looked down at Betsy's hand. Sure enough, she had an Ace of Diamonds and a Jack of Hearts.
"Well, I for one am glad for Kinney," Esther said while dealing another round. "Brian seems much happier lately."
"Yeah, I mean, instead of him being a sociopath who eviscerates sentient beings for profit, he's a sociopath who still does the same thing, only with a smile on his face," Gwen shot back.
"See?" Esther asked sitting back. "Now do you always have to look on the down side of things. That's so like you," she said as she flipped her card over.
"Look, I don't really care what Brian does in his spare time," Joyce said. "Just once, just once, I'd like to see them in action." Joyce sighed, "I bet they're beautiful together."
Just then, Joyce heard the sound of a truck backfiring. She knew that truck sound. She was just about to ask the other girls if they heard it when she decided to get up and look out the window without disturbing the game.
Speak of the devil! There they were. Brian, standing tall and perfect in his overalls, hovering over a shorter man, the one they call Justin, pale and beautiful, leaning against a tree. Brian started to nuzzle at the boy's neck while Justin threw his head back in what appeared to be bliss.
Brian, not a man to waste any time, unbuckled Justin's overalls, and as they fell to the ground, turned the boy around and proceeded to prepare him, all the while whispering into the boy's ear.
Things Joyce would have loved to hear.
He then entered the boy (at least that was what it looked like to Joyce) and they both moved in tandem.
Joyce had wished she was a betting woman for she knew she would have won that bet as they were indeed beautiful, with the blissful and orgasmic face Justin made and the predatory and possessive stance Brian took.
It continued for a while until they finally both shuddered. Brian then turned the boy around, kissed him fiercely on the lips, then lastly, put both their overalls back on.
They both walked to the truck to get in, but just before Brian got into the vehicle, he glanced up and looked directly at Joyce. He then smiled and waved, after which he got back into the truck and drove off.
"Joyce?" Esther asked. "What are you doing over there?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing," Joyce replied with a smile.
This day was definitely going her way.
Joyce sat down at the table while everyone stared at their cards.
"So...," Gwen started, "what's for lunch?"
The End
So, Joyce, were you IC or OOC?