GIVING DESTINY A HELPING HAND, AS USUAL

[slash_dragon]

As of late I have been thinking over a variety of gifts that I could have sent to Young Warlock on Arthur's behalf. If the Once and Future King will not rise to the occasion (though I can tell you assuredly that he is in the peak of health) I must act for him, thus prompting our Merlin to thank him. With his body.

Coincidentally I believe the Winter Solstice is approaching, so perhaps you will find some of my exceptional ideas appropriate for use in seducing your own manservant or attractive nearby individual.


Five Gifts 'Arthur' Will be Sending to Merlin As Soon As I Finagle an Appropriate Servant Down Here, Or Pester Gaius Into Doing It:

1. Flowers. I am sure you are aware of the Epic Quest Young Pendragon took upon himself in the early days of his acquaintance with our Merlin, that perilous journey in search of just the right flower to present his beloved. While Nimueh is not normally on my correspondence list I did send her a brief thank-you Pidgeon the day after for that brilliant stroke. The only problem was, of course, that Arthur chose the wrong flower for seduction.
   
   Being as knowledgeable as I am, you can imagine that I am well versed in the Language of Flowers. The bouquet prepared for this special occasion will include
   
   • Daffodils to show Chivalry and Respect (but not too much, we hope.) This is mostly to assuage Merlin's delicate sensibilities.
     
   • Daylily for Enthusiasm, especially in the bedchamber of our Prince.
     
   • Dill for lust. As a side note, I am working on a kitchen maid to get her to include this in any of their shared meals for the same reason.
     
   • Eidelweiss for Daring and Courage. In part this will boost Pendragon's sense of self-worth and in part I hope it will impress on Merlin Arthur's masculinity. Perhaps lead him to reminisce over previous events in which he showed well.
     
   • Ivy for Wedded Love and Fidelity. You must remember, of course, that this is an EPIC ROMANCE, one that has been whispered about in Magical Circles for CENTURIES and will for Millenia to come!
     
   • Orange Blossom for Marriage and Fertility, as I am getting on in dragon years and would enjoy seeing some offspring from this Fated Union immediately.
     
   • Red Roses for Passionate love, the kind which drives a man to risk life and limb and then clamber over his intended as they lay entwined on the beach at sunset...
     
     ...
     
     My apologies. I sometimes become distracted by their escapades past and future.
     
   • Sunflower for Adoration, as their countenances both brighten appropriately at the sight of each other.
     
   • And last but not least the Red Tulip, a Declaration of Love. True, fated love that will span generations and inspire love ballads for the ages.
   
   
2. Aphrodisiac Dinner for Two. Someone who goes by the name of Canadian Living Test Kitchen assures me that this recipe will bring a flush to their cheeks and a stirring to their loins. Conveniently, I believe Arthur could even kill the beast that makes up the body of the dish. The full recipe for Osso Buco resides here.
   
   
3. Romantic Boat Ride for Two. Anhora assures me that he has what he calls a "Paddleboat" and a secluded location that will suit my purposes. This plan is remarkably simple, as a variety of Magical Creatures have volunteered to lure young Arthur to the secluded pond (with drooping Willows for Atmosphere). No doubt Merlin will follow, and they will mutually discover the Magical Destiny Paddleboat. Merlin will of course believe it was Arthur's idea, and Arthur will take it as his due, and then hopefully also take Young Warlock as his due.
   
   
4. Heavenly Hearts Lovers Essential Pack. I have pulled these back in time from a distant future that appears to be filled with Lover's Aides. These four hearts glow seductively and are bathing-safe. According to the attached informational manuscript, Merlin is to drop them into his Prince's bath along with an aphrodisiac bath gel of fragrant scent and heart-shaped bath "confetti" (a sort of magical potpourri). I will convince the Young Warlock that this combination will loosen Arthur's muscles (Well, hopefully that too, actually) and allow him to become an even better fighter and Future King. In fact the light scent and seductive glow will entice the two to share the bath together, lie back and allow the bubbles to envelope them as the hearts fade from pink to red.
   
   
5. Forged Love Letter, Written by Yours Truly. I have penned this effusive declaration of true love in a mimicry of Arthur's hand and will have it delivered, tied up with a fine red ribbon, to Merlin's pillow. Before I do so, you may take a short glance at it here:
   
   
   
   Surely you agree that this is a Masterpiece for all Time? Truly I have duplicated the speech stylings of Young Arthur perfectly.

Why, you might ask, are these tokens even necessary after the Glory and Splendour of my monumental passion potion of a mix tape? Unfortunately it seems I have once again over-estimated the Young Warlock's commitment to his studies and my Cause. He has yet to learn the art of reaching across time and space to gather close the treasures of past and future.

Instead of simply calling forth a CD Player with appropriate power source, he admired the sheen and finish of the disc and strung it up as a pretty window hanging in Arthur's Chambers. According to Merlin himself it "Catches the light and things", casting a charming rainbow across the floors.

Sometimes I despair of him.