fic: Assume Crash Positions - Part Two
Title: Assume Crash Positions - Part Two
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Puck, Brittany, Quinn, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Mike, Sue, Will, Figgins, OCs
Rating: light R
Summary: Santana needs a distraction, so she decides to follow Brittany's lead and mess with Kurt and Mercedes.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~16,350
Spoilers: Season 1. Also references to previous stories in the series.
A/N: Apologies. I know it's been forever. But between real life and my severe writer's block, it took way too much effort to write this. Hopefully, the length will make up for the wait.
2nd A/N: Follows Some Days, Love is Hell. Brittany's first scene with Mercedes and Kurt is from this Pearls Before Swine comic.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Part Two
The doorbell rings, signaling the beginning of bro night. Rachel races down the stairs and opens the door with a flourish.
"Why are you so giddy?" Puck asks Rachel.
"Can't I just be pleased to see my bro for some fun bro-ings ons?"
"I'm pretty sure the answer to that question is, no."
Rachel pouts.
"So what'd you do to Lopez?" Puck asks, slumping onto the couch. "I thought dinner with the folks went all right."
"It went fine, except for a certain girlfriend forgetting to mention to her parents who she was dating."
Puck bursts out laughing; nearly spilling the beer he just opened.
"Yes, it was just as much fun as you're imagining," Rachel says sitting next to him, careful to ignore the splatter of beer.
"But you were still Rachel Berry, right?"
"Of course I was Noah," Rachel replies. "And what exactly does that mean?"
"Meaning you did your usual and still made a good impression."
"I suppose I did."
"So no worries then," Puck replies.
"I'm supposed to have Sunday dinner over there occasionally," Rachel says.
Puck chuckles. "And here I just thought Lopez was being a pussy about this little dinner, but it seems her fears weren't unfounded."
"Fears?"
"Too much parental involvement in her life," Puck explains.
"Oh."
…
Saturday morning, Rachel is woken up by her cell phone.
"Hello?" she answers without looking.
"Hey babe," Santana greets.
"Morning," Rachel replies. "Are you running late? What time is it?"
"It's nine o'clock. No. I'm outside."
"Um, okay. So you're not coming inside?"
"I wasn't sure you'd hear the doorbell," Santana replies.
"Please tell me you didn't lose your key," Rachel says.
"No."
"Santana," Rachel huffs. "You woke me up. So either come in and cuddle with me or explain what your issue with simple sentences because I need coffee for anything else."
"Okay."
Rachel looks at her cell. Call ended. She's going to assume that means San is on her way up. She turns slightly and shakes Noah.
"Noah, Noah, wake up."
"What Berry? This better be good. I was dreaming I was about to score the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl."
"Santana's on her way up."
"So?"
"I'm just telling you because she may kick you out."
"Not this time, kiddies," Santana says, closing the door behind her.
Both occupants of the bed watch her kick off her shoes and strip to her underwear. She then crawls into bed and pulls Rachel onto her.
"If you two wanna fool around in front of me, I'd consider it an early birthday present," Noah says.
"You know damn well your birthday is a long ways off, Puck," Santana snorts.
"Christmas?"
"You're Jewish. And once again, months away."
"Spoilsport," Noah mumbles.
"Will you two keep your bickering down?" Rachel asks. "I'm trying to fall asleep on my girlfriend."
Noah looks over at the clock and groans. "And early. What the hell, Lopez?"
"Shut up Puckerman."
"Guys. It's too early for this. Both of you shut up and go to sleep."
…
Santana and Rachel don't get out of bed when Puck leaves. It feels like they haven't seen each other in forever, even if it's only been a few days.
"School doesn't count," Santana grouses, as Rachel tries to get closer, though there's already no space between them. "I'm glad you're not mad still."
"Disappointed. Perplexed. Exasperated. But not angry."
"That makes me feel better."
"I understand why you might have been hesitant to tell your parents, but I am thoroughly irritated that you wouldn't have at least warned me," Rachel replies. "After everything I believe I deserve some forewarning."
"I know," Santana says. "I guess I was embarrassed."
"By me?"
"Hardly," Santana scoffs. "At the situation. I mean, I just felt so awkward. My parents are great. Really. Though if questioned, I will deny I said that."
"I know," Rachel smirks.
"It's just, we've never been super close. I mean not like they are with Felix. I don't know if it's because he's a boy or the first born or they approve of his choices, but it's always felt like that. Which is why I never talk to them about whoever I've dated, even though I'm sure they figured it out."
Rachel nods.
"So when mom basically forced me to invite you, it seemed really sudden to me and I needed more time before I could tell them. Except I didn't really have that option, so I just let the situation do it for me. And then I was embarrassed by the whole thing, so I couldn't tell you."
"I don't understand why you weren't comfortable telling me," Rachel says. "You can't really believe I'd care about that."
Santana shrugs. "We don't really get into too much family stuff, you know? I mean, yeah we've met each other's parents, but nothing, like extensive."
"True."
"So I didn't know what to think about it."
"It turned out all right, though."
"Luckily," Santana replies. "Of course my parents love you."
"I'm very lovable."
"They're wondering how someone so sweet, considerate, polite and well mannered, ended up with me, though."
"You're sweet and considerate of some people," Rachel argues.
"But I'm not polite or well mannered?"
"Not usually."
"You're not as sweet as everyone thinks you are," Santana grumbles.
"I'm blunt, actually," Rachel counters.
"So when am I going to meet your dads as your girlfriend?" Santana asks. "Seems fair."
"You know what I want to learn how to do next?" Rachel asks. "Juggle fire. I feel it would be an excellent exercise in hand eye coordination as well as showmanship. Not to mention, it would make Noah totally jealous. He's constantly--"
"Why don't you want your dads to meet your girlfriend?"
"For similar reasons as yours," Rachel replies.
"You say that," Santana says. "But I don't think that's quite the truth."
"Why would I lie?"
"A number of reasons, I'm sure."
"I'm just not ready yet," Rachel replies, quietly.
"I'm not sure I believe that either," Santana says. "You have this tell when you're lying."
"I do not."
"You do."
"I do not."
"You do," Santana nods.
Rachel sighs. "I'm just not ready."
"I'm letting it go for now," Santana replies. "Because I'm not in the mood to fight. But eventually I expect you to introduce me as your girlfriend. Especially since you've pushed for me to tell mine."
"Thank you."
"Some days, Berry," Santana tells her.
…
Sunday night at seven, Rachel finds herself on the Lopez front step, knocking.
The door swings open to reveal Mrs. Lopez. "Rachel dear, no need to knock, you're welcome to just come on in."
"Thanks, uh, Clara." Rachel holds up a bottle of wine. "I brought this."
Accepting it, Mrs. Lopez eyes Rachel. "And how did you get this?"
"I asked my daddy and he said I could take it," Rachel replies.
"He didn't ask why you needed a bottle of wine?"
"He trusts me. I'm very trust worthy."
Pursing her lips, Mrs. Lopez just nods and gestures for Rachel to follow her.
"Hey babe," Santana greets her when they enter the kitchen.
"Your girlfriend brought wine," Mrs. Lopez says.
"Um, okay."
"I have no plans to consume it," Rachel announces. "However, I thought it would be nice to bring. My fat--er, parents have excellent taste and I'm sure it's lovely."
"I'm sure it is, dear."
"I thought I heard the door," Mr. Lopez says, stepping into the kitchen.
"Hello Tomás," Rachel greets. "It's lovely to see you again."
"You as well Rachel." He steps aside and Rachel notices Santana's brother behind him. "I'm not sure you've met our oldest, Felix."
"No, I don't believe I have," Rachel replies, holding out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Felix."
"You too, Rachel," Felix says, shaking her hand with enthusiasm.
"Children, would you please set the table?" Mrs. Lopez asks.
Santana nods and grabs the plates. Rachel grabs silverware while Felix follows with glasses.
"Why are you here?" Santana hisses at Felix.
"Can't a young man want to eat dinner with his family every once in a while?"
"You haven't been home from college for a non break, ever," Santana points out as she begins setting plates.
"I had to meet this girl who not only got you to commit, but tell mom and dad about," Felix smirks. "I couldn't believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes."
"You're hilarious," Santana growls.
"Well, I'm glad he's here," Rachel speaks up.
"What?!"
"Thank you, Rachel. It's nice to find at least one person San's dating is polite."
"You better not cause trouble," Santana snaps.
Seeing the murderous look in his sister's eye, Felix says, "I think I'll go see if mom needs any help."
Done with placing the silverware, Rachel wraps her arms around Santana and leans her head against her shoulder blades. Santana finishes with the plates and turns in Rachel's embrace, resting her chin atop Rachel's head.
"You need to relax," Rachel says quietly.
"You're one to talk," Santana scoffs.
"A buffer of sorts is nice," Rachel replies.
"You say that now, but wait until the bastard gets going," Santana grumbles.
…
"So Rachel," Felix starts. "Tell me all about yourself."
"Um, there isn't much to tell," Rachel replies, feeling wary because of the panicked look Santana is giving her. "I'm a junior. I'm in glee because I like to sing. I'd like to one day perform on Broadway."
"Really?" Felix asks. "That's it?"
"The high points, I suppose."
"Hmmm."
It's quiet except for the clink of silverware.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Santana asks Felix.
"What?"
"That 'hmmm'," Santana replies. "What does that mean?"
"She's not what I expected is all," Felix replies.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Rachel asks.
"Probably a good thing," Felix tells her. "I mean, you're not a delinquent are you? My sister usually goes for the bad boy types."
"Well, who else can keep up with her?" Rachel replies. "She has a lot of… energy."
Felix smirks. "That she does."
"Though I find it rather… invigorating," Rachel continues.
"Do you?" Felix smirks.
"Quite," Rachel says. "I myself rarely stray outside of the box, but I am rather intrigued by it. I must admit that Santana's occasional bursts of delinquency are wholly entertaining."
"You're extremely loquacious," Felix comments.
"Thank you," Rachel replies. "I pride myself on my effusiveness."
Felix chuckles. "You know," he says. "If you weren't dating baby sis here, I would totally ask you out."
“Watch it,” Santana growls.
“I’m simply trying to get to know your, uh, paramour, sis,” Felix replies
“Maybe later,” Rachel says. “When San’s not around, you can tell me some embarrassing stories about her growing up.”
“Rach…”
Felix grins. “I really like you.”
“So how was your day yesterday girls?” Mr. Lopez asks.
“Papa,” Santana says.
“It’s our job as your family to embarrass you, Santana, dear,” Mrs. Lopez adds.
“What was yesterday?” Felix asks.
“Saturday,” Santana replies.
“Then why would-“
“Being the very busy individuals we are,” Rachel answers. “San and I are forced to schedule time together. Saturdays have therefore been designated as our day.”
Felix, grinning, stares at his sister who is concentrating very hard on her food. “I’m not sure if I find that romantic or practical.”
“It’s both, I think,” Rachel says. “And what’s wrong with blending the two?”
“One could argue that isn’t possible. Since love isn’t practical at all,” Felix counters.
“But if the individuals involved are pragmatic, or at least one of them is, then the two should more easily intertwined.”
“I think it’s certainly possible,” Felix allows. “But eventually the emotional will over rule reason.”
“The folly of youth, perhaps,” Rachel replies. “However, I believe that it is possible. If one knows their strengths and weaknesses, they can adjust their behavior and attempt to better incorporate their feelings. Yes there are outside variable to consider, but overall, I do believe it's possible."
"Are you sure you're only seventeen?" Felix asks.
…
Felix eventually backs off and lets the elder Lopez's converse with Rachel. Santana, continues to focus on her food. Still, she considers the dinner, mostly a success since she had counted on Felix being more of a tool.
“I really can’t figure out how the two of you ended up together,” Felix tells Santana as they watch Rachel reverse out of the driveway.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Whoa, little sis, calm down,” Felix replies. “I just meant, she’s not your usual fare.”
“Yeah, we’re a little different,” Santana admits. “But the way we see things, look at things is pretty similar.”
"I suppose," Felix says, looking contemplative. "I mean your approaches to romance don't sound similar, but after further contemplation, they do run fairly parallel."
"God," Santana groans. "I just realized how wordy you both are. Now it's totally going to creep me out."
"I'm not really," Felix replies. "Rachel just sort of brought it out. Knowing I could be as verbose as she was, I knew I had to try."
"I suppose I should just be glad the two of you got along," Santana mumbles.
"And that the 'rents seem to like her."
"More than they seem to like me," Santana grouses.
"Considering how they were informed that you were dating someone of the female persuasion, I think it turned out rather well," Felix comments.
"What is it with you people and all this information sharing?" Santana gripes.
…
Santana picks Brittany up Monday morning. The blonde bounces out her front door and opens the passenger side door with more enthusiasm necessary for a Monday morning in Santana's opinion.
"How'd dinner go?" Brittany asks. "You didn't call and tell me."
"Yeah, sorry. Felix was there, so I was distracted by his stupid face."
"Oooh, someone else actually met your brother. And your girlfriend at that," Brittany says. "It must be serious."
"Hey it wasn't my idea," Santana protests. "The dick wad just showed up. Surprised the hell out of me."
"What'd your parents think?"
"They seemed pretty amused by it," Santana admits. "After Rach and Felix bonded over using ten dollar words, my parents were practically gushing over her. I think they like her better than they like me."
"They're just not used to a teenager with manners in the house," Brittany replies. "I know you hate the whole parental involvement, but it could have gone badly considering you didn't tell them Rachel was a girl."
"Are you kidding? After Puckerman, Rachel is like manna from heaven."
"Yeah. True."
…
"Yo Berry," Puck greets when he finds Rachel at her locker. "You don't answer a guy's text?"
"Not when it comes in when I'm already sleeping, Noah," Rachel replies, shutting her locker.
"Sorry, but I wanted to know how dinner went."
"Why?"
"I've met her parents," Puck answers. "And I know what they think of me. So I'm just curious what they think of you."
"Did they catch you and San in bed together?" Rachel asks. "Because that could certainly color their opinion of you."
"No," Puck replies, sullen. "It was in the principal's office."
"Oh much better, bro."
"Whatever," Puck mumbles. "I suppose they still love you."
"Well, they somewhat already did."
"The next time I need to get my mom off my back about my dating habits, you're definitely having dinner at my house," Puck says. "A polite Jewish girl, my mom would flip out and probably buy me a car."
"You already have a truck," Rachel points out.
"You know what I mean."
Rachel has no response to this. So she decides to change the subject. "I met Santana's brother," Rachel offers.
"Seriously? I thought that guy was a myth."
"Don't be ridiculous, Noah," Rachel replies.
"Well, I'd never met him. Q hasn't. Maybe Britt has."
"Yes, well, he is apparently real," Rachel says. "And we got along famously."
"I bet you did," Puck smirks. "Lopez must've flipped."
"No, I don't think she was particularly pleased with how well we hit it off. Hopefully she's not too annoyed with me."
Puck cocks his head slightly examining Rachel's outfit as they walk. "She might be, but I think she'll forget because she's distracted by your skirt. Or lack there of."
"Noah." Rachel smacks him on the arm.
"Can't help it, Berry," Puck replies. "That is completely and utterly indecent. I definitely approve."
"Yes, well that's what I was going for."
"Excellent."
…
It's lunch time and the table is oddly quiet. Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie are cautiously eating while trying not to stare at Brittany and Santana seated next to them. They know they should be used to this sort of thing because it isn't exactly new. However, the lack of Rachel's presence is. Especially in relation to the two Cheerios because while Brittany will occasionally sit with them, Santana rarely does without Rachel being in attendance as well.
There's speculation about where Rachel currently is, but despite being super curious, Kurt refuses to ask Santana, which Tina doesn't understand. Yeah, the Cheerio is still a major bitch, she's mellowed a bit since dating Rachel and is almost pleasant, for Santana, to her fellow glee clubbers.
Finally Tina loses patience with Kurt and turns to her right. "Where's Rachel?"
Santana just glowers at them.
"She's helping the theater kids," Brittany supplies.
"Really?" Mercedes asks. "Again?"
"That freshman, Melissa--"
"Marisa," Santana corrects.
"Right. She asked Rachel for a one on one session to work on something. So that's where Rach is."
With that question answered, everyone returns to their lunches. However, Kurt's mind is analyzing the situation. Santana looks beyond pissed, but is apparently doing nothing to stop the one on one session. Though it looks like she'd really like to. It makes Kurt wonder if there's something more going on.
He has vague memories of whom Brittany's talking about. He remembers a little blonde freshman trailing after Rachel with stars in her eyes the first few months of the year. He and Mercedes had chalked it up to part of the bizarre universe they felt like they'd fallen into. It was obvious that the girl had a crush on Rachel. Kurt blames the knife throwing; that seems to have gotten everyone interested for a bit.
The way that Santana is acting makes Kurt wonder if maybe Rachel is doing more than coaching Marisa. After all, Brittany did say Rachel could kiss whomever she wanted.
Looking over at Mercedes, he can see she's having similar thoughts. He wishes they could come up with a way to test the theory. Yeah, they already have half serious/half joking confirmation from Rachel, but with this new incarnation of Rachel Berry, it's difficult to know what to take seriously.
There will definitely have to be a brainstorming session later.
…
Finn can admit he feels guilty about what he’s planning. But he also knows he’s not the smartest guy around, so when he comes up with a plan, he has to jump on it. The fact that he was able to come up with one at all is rather surprising to him. He’s not really the planning type. He always left that to the people around him, Quinn, Rachel, even Puck. He can lead people, sure, but schemes really aren’t his thing.
He really did try to let it go. He knows Kurt and Mercedes will eventually figure it out. As seasoned gossips, they’re good at that. But Finn isn’t all that patient. Besides, there’s no guarantee that when they do figure it out, that Finn will manage to overhear. He figures the only reason he’s heard as much as he has is that they’ve been talking about it so much.
So while the test he's set up isn't all that great for Rachel, it's the only thing he can think to do. And that's how he's able to barely ignore the guilt he's swimming in.
…
Monday evening when Santana arrives home, she goes to the kitchen, looking for something to snack on.
"Hello, dear," Mrs. Lopez says entering the kitchen.
"Hey, mom."
"How's Rachel?"
"She's fine," Santana replies. "She said to tell you hello."
"Such a sweetheart," Mrs. Lopez says. "I'm really glad you finally introduced her to us."
"Uh, yeah, great."
"I suppose she's the reason for your improved grades and drop in delinquency."
"Yeah," Santana grumbles. "She always says homework first."
"And she really seems to care about you," Mrs. Lopez continues.
"Yeah, well she's pretty important to me too."
"Good," Mrs. Lopez replies. "A girl like that deserves to be treated right. You better be treating her properly."
"I am, mom."
"Good, because I'd like it if she's around for a long time."
"We're dating aren't we?" Santana asks. "That's a big deal for me."
"I know, dear. And I'm so proud of you for that. I just don't want you to fuck it up."
Santana's so thrown by her mom's use of the word fuck, she almost missing the implication. "Wait. Why would it be my fault?"
Mrs. Lopez just looks at her daughter.
"Yeah, fine. It probably will be, but I promise I have no intentions of screwing up. Okay?"
"Good. Because I'd really like to see Rachel over her for Sunday dinner on a regular basis."
Santana groans. "Mom."
"Santana."
"Fine," Santana says finally. "As long as it's not every Sunday."
"Lovely," Mrs. Lopez replies. "There's one thing I was curious about though, dear."
"Yes, mom?"
"Have you met her parents?"
"Uh, yeah, once or twice."
"Once or twice? You're over there every weekend."
"They're not around much," Santana answers. "Like Rach says they're hard core workaholics."
"Oh. That's a shame."
"Rachel turned out just fine," Santana counters.
"I'm not saying she didn’t, dear," Mrs. Lopez replies. "I just think parents should be around."
"Oh."
"What do her folks do?"
"Uh… her dad is a lawyer, I think. And, uh…"
"What?"
"… her daddy is in sales I think. He travels a lot. That's why he's not around too much."
"So she has two dads?"
Santana nods.
"And no mother?"
"Just a surrogate."
"Why would I care about that dear?"
"I don't know."
"Whoever her parents are, helped shaped her into the wonderful young lady she is. And you should know I have no real issues with homosexuality."
"Yeah."
"Well, when she does eventually tell them, we'll have to have them over for dinner."
"Goody."
"I don't need your sarcasm, dear."
"Sorry," Santana grumbles.
…
Tuesday morning, Rachel is just about to her locker when she’s stopped by Kenny Marrison. The only reason she knows who he is, is because two weeks ago, Puck had mentioned that the freshman had been pushing to be on the varsity team instead of JV. Apparently the kid had been following Coach around, being persistently annoying.
Rachel’s about to ask him what he wants when he holds up the largest slushie cup ever and tosses its blue contents in her face.
It’s been a long time since she’s been hit with one and the cold is a shock. Thankfully, on instinct, she’d closed her eyes, so after wiping some away she’s able to open her eyes without too much sting.
Kenny is grinning like a maniac and the hallway is deadly silent for exactly three seconds before Santana comes barreling down the hall, followed closely by Puck. Santana delivers a fierce right hook that takes him down. And then Puck's there, picking him up as a target for Santana.
What’s disturbing about the whole thing is how quiet it is. Normally if there’s violence, people are cheering and egging the fighters on. Apparently, because this is simply some follow through to threats, everyone simply watches in awe and fear.
Brittany and surprisingly, Quinn, is at Rachel’s side at this point. Flanking her, they watch as Kenny gets his ass kicked before being dropped onto the floor. Brittany, then goes to Rachel’s locker, opens it and pulls out a change of clothes.
“You still have extra clothes in your locker?” Quinn asks.
“One never knows what’s going to happen throughout the day,” Rachel replies. “Especially in this place.”
“Well that’s certainly true.”
Carrying the clothes, Brittany leads Rachel to the girls’ bathroom with Quinn trailing behind.
Meanwhile, people are starting to disperse as Santana and Puck try to figure out from the crowd why the freshman did what he did.
Puck also has a couple of the other JV footballers help the freshman to the nurse’s office. They still don’t have a nurse, but there's placing for him to lie down. Maybe none of the teachers will even notice because there wasn't the usual boisterous encouragements there usually are during a fight.
"You're an idiot," Santana tells him. "Eventually a teacher is going to hear someone talking about it."
"Depends on the teacher," Puck counters.
"Well, yeah," Santana admits. "But when they find out we were defending Rachel Berry, they'll probably expel us and give that freshman a fucking trophy or something."
"Like they'd give out trophies," Puck scoffs.
…
In the bathroom, Brittany helps Rachel wipe the slushie off her face and out of her hair while Quinn stands by awkwardly guarding the door and holding Rachel's spare change of clothes.
"So, uh, what do you think brought this on?" Quinn asks, unable to just stand in silence.
"He's a big jerk weasel," Brittany replies.
"I'm sure it was some sort of idiotic jock dare," Rachel replies.
"But to go against Santana," Quinn says. "I mean, she gave Greg Sanderson a broken leg and he had to have his jaw wired."
"Actually that was me," Brittany supplies.
Quinn gapes at her. "What?"
Brittany nods as she takes the clothing out of Quinn's hands and gives it to Rachel, who, smiling, goes into a stall to change.
"But I thought--I mean, everyone did, really--but it was you?" Quinn stutters.
Brittany nods again.
"I, um, I don't know what to say--or think about that."
"I thought it was rather sweet," Rachel says, exiting the stall, clothes changed. "Though, I don't normally condone violence, I have to admit having it done on one's behalf can alter one's stance on the matter. I confess it appeals to the romantic in me."
"So Santana didn't do it?" Quinn asks.
"Well, she was there," Brittany admits. "But more as a look out and to reinforce her message."
"Yes, they're like the Cheerio protect Rachel Berry duo or something more clever sounding," Rachel says, brushing her hair at the sink.
"Can we be the Cheerio Avengers?" Brittany asks.
"If you want, Britt."
"Awesome."
…
Principal Figgins leans back in his desk chair as he warily watches Sue Sylvester rant and pace in front of him. Per usual the woman didn't have an appointment or wait for his secretary to usher her in. Watching her, he has to wonder if she has a mode other than smug satisfaction or ridiculous, yet still seems to be reasonable indignation. Because he's not sure he's seen her any other way.
"…has to be done. You need to grow a pair and punish the perpetrator."
"Fine," Figgins says. "He has detention."
"Not good enough," Sue replies. "Assault with malicious intent deserves five days suspension."
"Sue, you can't be serious."
"Deadly."
"An entire week is too much for something that used to happen on a daily basis."
"You just said the wrong thing."
Figgins groans to himself. "Two days suspension is the best I can do."
"Considering your track record, I suppose I'll have to accept that," Sue replies. "I'll go tell the little cretin."
"Sue, wait," Figgins calls out.
Turning, Sue eyes him. "Yes?"
"What about the ones who fought him?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sue. Immediately after the incident, a football player and a Cheerio attacked that boy. I don't think I need to guess who."
"You have no proof."
"I have a school full of witness," Figgins protests.
"Really? Where? I didn't see any outside your office."
"You really expect me to believe no one saw someone getting pulverized? Before the first bell rang?"
"Maybe they were all busy having premarital sex and doing meth."
"I hope not," Figgins replies. "That's terribly unsanitary and we don’t have the janitorial support to clean it all."
"Excellent," Sue says. "Now that that's settled, I have students to terrorize."
"Sue, I'm serious, the perpetrators need to be punished as well."
"Here's what I'm going to do for you," Sue says, placing her palms on Figgins' desk and leaning in. "I'll find out who it was and take care of it myself."
"Sue, no, absolutely not," Figgins replies. "Because you'll either tell them not to do it in front of witnesses and let them go or duct tape them to a wall in your office and occasionally throw rotten eggs at them."
"As if I would use the same punishment twice," Sue scoffs. "I was actually thinking of suspending them slightly in the air by their wrists, while their feet and shins are immersed in a mixture of honey and kalamata olive pits."
"Sue, we've talked about your methods of punishment before," Figgins says. "They leave too many visible marks behind. So the answer is no."
"You'll see it my way all too soon," Sue replies before spinning on her heel and exiting the office.
…
It's quiet in the nurse's office. Kenny tries not to feel too unsettled since it was eerily quiet when he was getting his ass kicked too. As soon as he feels up to it, he's going home. As far as he knows, no one's called his parents. Hopefully he can go home, skip tomorrow and pretend that none of this ever happened.
"Hey. Hey. Marrrison."
Kenny's shaken out of his light doze by the shaking of his shoulder. The whispered voice is too low to identify. He rolls over slightly to look over his shoulder and is fearful to see Puck looming over him.
"Oh god, please don't hit me anymore," Kenny moans. "I won't do it again. I swear. I won't even go near her or think about her."
"Relax kid," Puck says. "I just have a couple questions."
"All right," Kenny agrees cautiously.
"You're not new around here," Puck starts. "You know there's no slushies allowed anymore. Why'd you do it?"
"I didn't, uh, I mean that I, um, well, the thing is--"
"Tell me or I will hurt you again."
"He asks me to. I wasn't sure, but he promised me he'd help me get onto to Varsity. I had to. I didn't think it was that big of deal."
"Yeah? You ever been slushied before kid?"
Kenny shakes his head.
"It's a big deal. It totally sucks," Puck says.
"I, uh---"
"Save it," Puck tells him. "So who was it?"
"Just some upperclassman."
"It's gotta be someone with clout," Puck says. "Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to convince Coach of anything."
"Don't all you guys have, uh, clout?"
"Damnit, tell me who it was," Puck growls. "Or I what you're feeling now will be miniscule in comparison." He leans in closer and grabs Kenny by the front of his shirt.
"Oh god, it was Hudson!" Kenny wails. "He came to me yesterday and asked me to. Said it wasn't a big deal and that I'd be on Varsity next year for sure. I believed him. I mean, he's the quarterback, right?"
"Fucking Finn asked you to?!"
"Yeah, yeah, he did," Kenny continues. "I thought it was weird cause I thought him and that Rachel girl were friends. I mean, you guys are in glee together or whatever, right?"
"If you're lying to me…"
"I'm not. I swear. I swear on my dead grandmother."
"I'm going to choose to believe you because only a complete and utter dick would swear on a dead grandmother who isn't dead."
"I would never."
"Fine," Puck huffs. "I see you around Berry again, it better be because you're apologizing. Otherwise, stay clear of her. Got it?"
"Yeah. Definitely. Got it."
"Better watch your back, Marrison," Puck says, backing out of the room. "Bad things happen to people who go after my bro like that."
And then he's gone, leaving Kenny alone to tremble in wait.
…
At lunch, everyone is talking about Kenny's actions, Santana's and Puck's reaction and the fact that Figgins actually punished him.
Rachel is conspicuously missing from the glee table. But looking around, Kurt doesn't see Santana either, so he concludes they're together. He shudders to think what they're doing, despite doing his best not to let his thoughts go down that route.
"I still can't figure out why he did it," Tina says. "I mean, it's not like he has anything against Rachel."
"Yeah," Artie chimes in. "I don't think they've even interacted like ever."
"Maybe it was a dare or an initiation," Mercedes suggests.
"An initiation? This far into the year?" Kurt questions.
Mercedes shrugs. "Who understands how those jock brains work?"
"You're giving them too much credit," Kurt replies.
"What?"
"Assuming they have functioning brains," Kurt answers. "I mean, did you see what Santana did to him? Why would anyone go after Rachel? Especially after what happened last time?"
No one has an answer for that.
"Do you think Puck or Santana are going to be suspended too?" Artie asks.
"I'm sure Rachel will intervene on their behalf if it comes up," Tina says.
"Plus Coach Sylvester," Kurt adds.
"Oooh," Artie says. "Figgins wouldn't stand a chance."
…
The guilt Finn felt about setting up a slushie facial for Rachel is overshadowed by his almost awe of the reaction it caused.
The speed that Puck and Santana reacted with blew him away. He didn't see either of them anywhere near Rachel and yet they'd been there in like five seconds. If he didn't know better, he'd think the two had some sort of slushie throwing tracker system hooked up.
And Santana had been particularly brutal. He knew she could be cruel verbally and though he's never seen it, word is that she gives harsh poundings when she loses her temper. Finn remember freshman year when some senior called Brittany a retard. He limped the rest of the year.
What really surprised him though was the fact that Quinn had stood protectively next to Rachel and had apparently gone with her into the bathroom to help clean up. He's having trouble picturing it. It's such a contrast to the Quinn who not that long ago was calling Rachel "Man Hands" and threatening her existence.
Finn's really starting to believe Rachel has some sort of weird super power. He remembers Puck telling him about some weird adventures in the sewers and wonders if Rachel fell into a vat of nuclear waste. Except what exactly would her power be? Some sort of weird hypnotic beckoning power? It's the only explanation for the apparent 180 Quinn's taken on her Rachel Berry stance, as well as the massive protective streak Santana and Puck seem to have.
…
That afternoon, glee is somewhat subdued. Rachel notices that she's getting a lot of odd looks, which she doesn't understand. It's not like she was the one that pulverized some poor freshman. Sure it was done for her, but still.
Santana is sitting next to her with her arms crossed looking particularly surly. She is flanked by Noah on her other side looking just as threatening as well as pissed. Brittany and Quinn are behind her looking less intimidating, but still just as stern. Well, as stern as Brittany can manage to look, which essentially means she's not smiling.
"What's up with this silence guys?" Mr. Schue asks, standing in front of them. "You guys are acting like something terrible happened today."
Everyone, sans Rachel, stares at him. A few people's jaws have even dropped. Rachel wonders how any of them can be surprised at Mr. Schue's reaction.
Kurt raises his hand and speaks. "Didn't you hear about what happened this morning?"
Mr. Schue nods. "Of course I did, Kurt. But I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like Rachel hasn't been slushied before. I know how much it sucks, but she still had a change of clothes, so it's no problem, right?" Mr. Schue seems to pause a moment. "Though I am confused why Figgins suspended Kenny. I know it's been a while since someone's been slushied, but suspension seems rather harsh."
Santana jumps out of her chair. "You can't be serious!"
"Santana," Mr. Schue says. "Being outraged seems a bit hypocritical, doesn't it? As a prime slushie thrower, you can't be one to point fingers."
"I never threw slushies," Santana protests. "I preferred the cruel, verbal assaults actually."
"It's true, she did," Brittany pipes up.
"Nonetheless," Mr. Schue says. "I think the reaction to the whole thing quickly blew out of portion. I saw the kid before he was escorted home. He looked like he'd been hit by a car."
"Yeah, well, when I make a decree, I like it to be followed," Santana replies.
"Still, I don't really approve of avengement like that," Mr. Schue continues. "I really thought Rachel had helped you work past that. I have half a mind to turn you into Figgins."
"Half a mind is right," Brittany mumbles.
"You wouldn't," Puck says, standing as well.
"It's my job as an educator to protect you guys from your immature decisions and help you grow as individuals."
"That's a crock of shit, Mr. Schue," Santana says. "If that was really true, you would have done something about the slushie attacks."
"That's different."
"How?" Kurt pipes up.
"Well, it's just a slushie to the face. I know it's a harsh cold surprise, but it's certainly not akin to putting someone in the nurse's office."
"It's worse," Mercedes says.
"Yeah," Tina adds. "Fearing it on a daily basis is way worse than getting your ass kicked just once."
"Yeah, Mr. Schue," Artie says. "It's a real bitch to try and get cleaned up. Especially for me."
"Yes, well, you're special circumstances, Artie, I can admit that," Mr. Schue replies. "But if it was really a big deal, why didn't any of you try to stop it?"
No one says anything. They're all staring at Mr. Schue in shock. Except for Rachel, who still isn't surprised. She's nonchalantly jotting things down in her notebook.
Glancing over and seeing her reaction causes Santana to elbow her.
"Yes?" Rachel drawls.
"What are you doing?"
"When something surprising happens, I'll react accordingly. However, until then, I have things to work on. Especially since it doesn't seem like we'll be actually singing anytime soon."
Now everyone, including Mr. Schue, is staring at Rachel.
"What does that mean, exactly Rachel?" Mr. Schue asks.
"I believe my last statement is quite clear. I find none of this conversation a shock, therefore I am not reacting to it."
"So you understand where I'm coming from then?" Mr. Schue asks. It's obvious he seems relieved by this.
"No, not exactly, Mr. Schue," Rachel replies. "I'm simply saying that nothing that has been said so far surprises me. Though I do admit to being slightly baffled by everyone else's reaction to your statements."
"Why is that, Rachel?"
"It's not like you haven't said something similar before."
Mr. Schue grimaces.
"Rach you can't be serious," Noah says.
"I am," Rachel nods. "Besides, it's not like he ever stood up for us last year. I mean, he let Quinn get slushied, knowing she was pregnant. You don't slushie a pregnant girl. It's not right."
"Rachel…" Mr. Schuester starts.
"She's right," Quinn pipes up. "As if I didn't have enough problems last year without having to worry about being slushied."
Everyone's eyes are now focused on Mr. Schuester.
"You guys know I don't have the power to stop that sort of thing."
"But you didn't even try," Artie points out.
"I spent all of last year fighting for glee. For you guys," Mr. Schuester protests. "I could barely get Figgins to listen to me about that, much less anything else."
"And for yourself," Mercedes says.
"Yeah, I enjoy glee as much as you do," Mr. Schuester admits. "And I know how it helped me when I was here. I want you guys to have an outlet like that too."
"An outlet that got us slushied all the time," Kurt says.
"I don't see why this matters anymore, since for the most part the slushies have stopped," Mr. Schuester argues.
"Thanks to Santana of all people," Tina says. "No offense."
"None taken," Santana says.
"You say that like she did it for unselfish reasons," Mr. Schuester says.
"How is doing it to protect her girlfriend selfish?" Brittany asks.
"It's not," Puck says.
"It should have happened a long time ago," Quinn adds.
"You used to be one of the worse perpetrators, Quinn," Mr. Schuester argues.
"Thank you for pointing that out, Mr. Schue," Quinn replies. "I really appreciate at that. Are you saying I can't grow as a person?"
"Of course I'm not saying that, Quinn," Mr. Schuester replies. "However your apparent attitude change is a bit disconcerting."
"Why?"
"Well, wasn't it just a few weeks ago that you were telling me what a horrible influence Rachel is on Santana?"
"Maybe," Quinn allows. "But once again, am I not allowed to change?"
"Well, certainly, but--"
"I'm finding this whole conversation very unsettling," Rachel announces. "I think it'd be best to simply table this discussion indefinitely. And perhaps cancel practice this afternoon because I have a feeling, no one's in the right frame of mind."
Mr. Schuester looks relieved.
"However," Rachel continues. "I'm going to trust that no one is going to mention who put Kenny in the Nurse's office to Figgins."
"Rachel…"
"I'm serious, Mr. Schue," Rachel says. "I just don't think it would be a good idea. In fact, I think it's a really bad idea. Don't you, Britt?"
"I do, Rach," Brittany chirps.
"Rachel, I'm your teacher, you can't threaten me," Mr. Schuester says.
"I wasn't threatening anyone, Mr. Schue," Rachel replies. "I was simply stating my feelings on the matter. Wouldn't you guys agree?"
"Oh yeah," Santana says.
"Sounds like it to me," Tina adds.
"Yeah, I didn't hear any threats," Mike says.
"Excellent, well if you all would excuse me, I'm going to get a jump on my homework," Rachel says, standing.
Everyone watches her stroll out with an air of nonchalance. After the door closes behind her, Brittany stands and grabs Quinn, before pushing Santana out the door after her. This spurs everyone else to stand and begin gathering their things.
"I'll see you guys Thursday then, I guess," Mr. Schuester says.
Everyone ignores them as they exit the choir room.
…
"Well I guess we have our answer," Kurt says as they walk out.
"Yeah, we do," Mercedes agrees. "I don't know how I feel about it, though."
"It is what it is."
"You seem rather indifferent," Mercedes points out.
"I guess. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet."
"The fact that Figgins suspended him makes me think Rachel really controls everyone with any power at McKinley."
"I know," Kurt agrees. "I can't figure that part out yet. I didn't think Figgins knew Rachel outside of her position in glee. Certainly not enough to punish someone who went after her. That is definitely a change."
"It's definitely a mystery."
"Either way, we definitely have to stay on her good side," Kurt says.
"We just stay out of the way and we'll be fine," Mercedes says.
…
Puck grabs Mike before he exits. "Hey, man, I need your help. You mind?"
"Sure. Whadda need?"
"Follow my lead?"
Mike nods, baffled.
"Finn, dude, wait up a sec," Puck calls out, motioning Mike to follow him.
Finn stops and turns. "Yeah?"
"Can we talk a minute?"
"Sure."
"Cool." Puck grabs Finn and drags him into the nearest bathroom. Mike trails after looking bemused. When all three are inside, Puck locks the door. "Privacy," he says at Finn's questioning look.
"Right."
"Listen," Puck starts. "I know we were just talking about it, but I wanted to ask you something without too many other people around."
"Okay."
"Did you tell Marrison that you'd get him onto Varsity if he slushied Rachel?"
Mike gasps.
"What? No way."
"Then why did he say you did?" Puck asks.
"I dunno," Finn answers. "Cause he's a liar?"
"You really he'd lie under threat of severe pain?" Puck questions. "He doesn't seem to have the balls for that."
"Well, people can surprise you," Finn offers.
"That's for damn sure," Mike mutters.
Finn looks over Puck's shoulder, having momentarily forgot Mike was there.
"I don't think he was lying," Puck says.
"Why would I want Rachel to be slushied?"
"How the fuck should I know?" Puck asks. "Maybe you're still mad about her dumping you. Maybe you're trying to get back at Santana by making Rachel think Santana isn't protecting her. Maybe you're just a dick. I have no idea, man. I feel like I hardly know you anymore."
"Well, maybe you don't, dude," Finn replies. "It's not like we hang out anymore. You're always with Rachel."
"Hey, I said you could hang too, but you always refused. So I stopped asking."
"Well, yeah," Finn replies. "You guys always made me feel like the third wheel or whatever. And you're not even dating."
"I don't know you anymore, man."
"Same here, dude."
"Is that why he didn't speak up about anything earlier?" Mike asks.
"Maybe."
"Oh god," Finn groans. "You're not going to tell Rachel, are you? Or worse, Santana?"
"I should," Puck answers. "You'd deserve it."
"C'mon man."
"Though, I had another thought, actually."
"Yeah? What's that?" Finn asks.
Puck punches Finn hard in the jaw, making him stumble backwards.
"What the hell man?" Finn wipes some blood from his lip.
"Mike, man," Puck says. "A little help?"
Finn doesn't expect Mike to, but he does in fact join Puck on the other side of Finn, still reeling slightly from the punch. They each grab a shoulder and drag him towards a stall. When they're inside, they grab Finn's legs as well. It's awkward because Finn's so tall, but they're just barely able to lift him.
"Shit, no way, guys, come on. Not cool."
Ignoring him, they're slowly able to put his head in the toilet. Puck nods at Mike who flushes the toilet. There's gurgling and sputtering, but they don't let him up. Once the toilet's done flushing, Puck nods to Mike who flushes it again. This time they only hear whimpering and sputtering. They lift him up slightly so he can breathe.
"What the fuck--"
Puck nods at Mike and they lower him again and Mike flushes the toilet again. This time once it's done, they lower his legs and let him fall, causing Finn to bump his head against the seat.
"Lopez would've done worse," Puck tells him. He then kicks him in the stomach and leaves.
Mike checks to make sure Finn won't drown and follows Puck out of the bathroom.
…
Driving home, Will wonders how Rachel Berry is able to intimidate him like that. At five foot nothing, she's not a particularly threatening figure and yet he's almost frightened of her. He wonders if it's the knowledge that she has Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez and maybe even Quinn Fabray in her corner. If the four of them put their heads together, they could probably take over Lima, if not the entire state of Ohio.
He does believe there should be consequences for Santana and Puck, though he's reluctant to punish any of his glee kids, even Puck. He's having more and more difficulty being the proper educator he wants to be. He wonders if it's the effects of her personal life being in shambles or simply a reaction to the absurdity McKinley always seems immersed in.
For now, he won't say anything. Though not because of anything Rachel said or implied. At least that's what he tells himself.
…
Wednesday, morning the minute she steps inside McKinley, Rachel is ushered into Figgins' office.
"Good morning Ms. Berry."
"Morning Principal Figgins."
"I suppose you know why I asked you to stop by," Figgins begins.
"Actually, I have no idea," Rachel replies.
"Please don't play stupid with me, Ms. Berry."
"Sir, I think it would be easier if you just told me what this is all about."
"Fine," Figgins says. "Yesterday you were slushied by a young man, is that correct?"
"It is," Rachel nods.
"And I'm sure you heard he was suspended."
"I did," Rachel nods again. "I must say I was rather surprised by that."
"Yes, well, that was Coach Sylvester's influence more than anything else."
"I see."
"However, seeing as I assisted you, I was hoping you could assist me," Figgins continues.
"Sir, I still have no idea who the prankster is."
"Actually I was referring to who beat up Mr. Marrison."
"Oh," Rachel says.
"Exactly."
"I can't really help you with that either, sir," Rachel replies. "I was in the bathroom cleaning up. Slushie facials are messy things."
"I'm sure they are," Figgins agrees. "But you must have seen or heard something."
"Rumors, perhaps, but nothing concrete."
"You really expect me to believe that, Ms. Berry?" Figgins asks.
"I'm not expecting anything, Principal Figgins," Rachel replies. "I'm simply answering your questions."
"I know you have to be lying this time," Figgins tells her.
Rachel's eyes narrow slightly. "Prove it."
"Excuse me?"
"Seeing as I have no information to give you, sir, do you mind if I go to my locker now? I have books to get before first period begins."
"We're not done yet, young lady."
"I don't see how we can have more to discuss," Rachel replies. "You're not going to get the information from me that you're seeking, so continuing this meeting is really just a waste of our time. I'm sure being a principal is a very time consuming job, so I'd hate to stop you from doing that."
"You're bordering on rudeness, Ms. Berry," Figgins tells her.
"That was never my intention, sir," Rachel replies. "I'm simply trying to be efficient with our time."
Figgins eyes Rachel who stares back, trying to seem innocent and unconcerned.
After a minute, Figgins sighs. "Fine. You may go."
Rachel nods, stands and flounces out of the office.
…
Rachel is pulled out of third period by Coach Sylvester's two freshmen messengers. She follows them down the hall as they whisper and occasionally throw a look over their shoulder which causes them both to giggle.
"Not to be rude," Rachel says as they're standing in front of Coach Sylvester's office. "But I don't think I know your names."
"My name's Missy," the blonde says.
"And I'm Wendy," the redhead pipes up.
Rachel nods. "Okay."
"Coach said you should just go in," Missy says.
They part so Rachel can walk in between them. Just as she opening the door, she feels two hands on her ass. She spins around to confront them, but they're already halfway down the hallway, giggling hysterically. Shaking her head, Rachel enters Coach Sylvester's office.
"Have a seat, Berry," Coach says.
Rachel does.
"I'm sure you know why you're here."
"Sort of," Rachel replies. "I'm assuming it has something to do with yesterday's antics."
"It does indeed."
"Figgins said you persuaded him to punish Kenny," Rachel says.
"Is that the moron's name?" Coach asks. "Well, I suppose you could say that."
"I appreciate it."
"Don't get too haughty, Berry. It was just as much for me as it was for you."
"To exude more power over him, I assume," Rachel says.
"I'm glad you understand."
"Nonetheless," Rachel continues. "I appreciate it anyway. Things done that benefit me, even laterally are appreciated."
"Because you're smart enough to be grateful when the actions of others have positive side consequences for you," Coach Sylvester replies.
"Thank you Coach."
"I must say, though, I'm surprised how quickly Lopez and Puckerman jumped in there. Record breaking reaction time."
"I was impressed as well," Rachel admits. "Especially since I'm fairly certain they were nowhere near by."
"You'll do great things one day, Berry," Coach says. "You have more influence than you may think."
"Perhaps," Rachel allows. "Or I just inspire loyalty and a protective instinct."
"Well my two messengers seem to be taken with you," Coach continues. "I've been told anytime I need your presence, they're willing to hunt you down."
"I can imagine," Rachel replies, wryly, thinking back to their hands squeezing her ass. "They're quite forward."
"I think it's the skirts," Coach Sylvester says.
"What about Quinn?"
"Q is the exception that proves the rule."
"Perhaps."
…
All day when Rachel walks down the halls Wednesday, she can feel the difference. Enough of her classmates saw Santana's reaction to the slushie and no one wants to risk the Cheerio's ire. Even though they'd seen the supposed aftermath of Santana's fury, it hadn't fully sunk in like actually seeing it apparently has.
Not that Rachel feels she needs protecting. She has her own ways of fighting back. She is, however, grateful that no more slushie facials will come her way. Hopefully. And getting a little more respect walking down the halls is giving her a nice little ego boost.
Still, she feels odd. The halls part for her and people are careful not to touch her. It beats getting shoved into lockers. Still, she's glad when she runs into Brittany and Tina, so she can walk down the hall without feeling like a leaper. Tina chats about the movie she saw the night before and Brittany is content to drape herself over Rachel and occasionally tease Tina. It's, Rachel supposes, a better ending to getting slushied than she ever experienced before. However, she curious about how this is going to affect things in the long run; she suppose only time will tell.
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, Puck, Brittany, Quinn, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Mike, Sue, Will, Figgins, OCs
Rating: light R
Summary: Santana needs a distraction, so she decides to follow Brittany's lead and mess with Kurt and Mercedes.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~16,350
Spoilers: Season 1. Also references to previous stories in the series.
A/N: Apologies. I know it's been forever. But between real life and my severe writer's block, it took way too much effort to write this. Hopefully, the length will make up for the wait.
2nd A/N: Follows Some Days, Love is Hell. Brittany's first scene with Mercedes and Kurt is from this Pearls Before Swine comic.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
series masterlist
Part Two
The doorbell rings, signaling the beginning of bro night. Rachel races down the stairs and opens the door with a flourish.
"Why are you so giddy?" Puck asks Rachel.
"Can't I just be pleased to see my bro for some fun bro-ings ons?"
"I'm pretty sure the answer to that question is, no."
Rachel pouts.
"So what'd you do to Lopez?" Puck asks, slumping onto the couch. "I thought dinner with the folks went all right."
"It went fine, except for a certain girlfriend forgetting to mention to her parents who she was dating."
Puck bursts out laughing; nearly spilling the beer he just opened.
"Yes, it was just as much fun as you're imagining," Rachel says sitting next to him, careful to ignore the splatter of beer.
"But you were still Rachel Berry, right?"
"Of course I was Noah," Rachel replies. "And what exactly does that mean?"
"Meaning you did your usual and still made a good impression."
"I suppose I did."
"So no worries then," Puck replies.
"I'm supposed to have Sunday dinner over there occasionally," Rachel says.
Puck chuckles. "And here I just thought Lopez was being a pussy about this little dinner, but it seems her fears weren't unfounded."
"Fears?"
"Too much parental involvement in her life," Puck explains.
"Oh."
…
Saturday morning, Rachel is woken up by her cell phone.
"Hello?" she answers without looking.
"Hey babe," Santana greets.
"Morning," Rachel replies. "Are you running late? What time is it?"
"It's nine o'clock. No. I'm outside."
"Um, okay. So you're not coming inside?"
"I wasn't sure you'd hear the doorbell," Santana replies.
"Please tell me you didn't lose your key," Rachel says.
"No."
"Santana," Rachel huffs. "You woke me up. So either come in and cuddle with me or explain what your issue with simple sentences because I need coffee for anything else."
"Okay."
Rachel looks at her cell. Call ended. She's going to assume that means San is on her way up. She turns slightly and shakes Noah.
"Noah, Noah, wake up."
"What Berry? This better be good. I was dreaming I was about to score the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl."
"Santana's on her way up."
"So?"
"I'm just telling you because she may kick you out."
"Not this time, kiddies," Santana says, closing the door behind her.
Both occupants of the bed watch her kick off her shoes and strip to her underwear. She then crawls into bed and pulls Rachel onto her.
"If you two wanna fool around in front of me, I'd consider it an early birthday present," Noah says.
"You know damn well your birthday is a long ways off, Puck," Santana snorts.
"Christmas?"
"You're Jewish. And once again, months away."
"Spoilsport," Noah mumbles.
"Will you two keep your bickering down?" Rachel asks. "I'm trying to fall asleep on my girlfriend."
Noah looks over at the clock and groans. "And early. What the hell, Lopez?"
"Shut up Puckerman."
"Guys. It's too early for this. Both of you shut up and go to sleep."
…
Santana and Rachel don't get out of bed when Puck leaves. It feels like they haven't seen each other in forever, even if it's only been a few days.
"School doesn't count," Santana grouses, as Rachel tries to get closer, though there's already no space between them. "I'm glad you're not mad still."
"Disappointed. Perplexed. Exasperated. But not angry."
"That makes me feel better."
"I understand why you might have been hesitant to tell your parents, but I am thoroughly irritated that you wouldn't have at least warned me," Rachel replies. "After everything I believe I deserve some forewarning."
"I know," Santana says. "I guess I was embarrassed."
"By me?"
"Hardly," Santana scoffs. "At the situation. I mean, I just felt so awkward. My parents are great. Really. Though if questioned, I will deny I said that."
"I know," Rachel smirks.
"It's just, we've never been super close. I mean not like they are with Felix. I don't know if it's because he's a boy or the first born or they approve of his choices, but it's always felt like that. Which is why I never talk to them about whoever I've dated, even though I'm sure they figured it out."
Rachel nods.
"So when mom basically forced me to invite you, it seemed really sudden to me and I needed more time before I could tell them. Except I didn't really have that option, so I just let the situation do it for me. And then I was embarrassed by the whole thing, so I couldn't tell you."
"I don't understand why you weren't comfortable telling me," Rachel says. "You can't really believe I'd care about that."
Santana shrugs. "We don't really get into too much family stuff, you know? I mean, yeah we've met each other's parents, but nothing, like extensive."
"True."
"So I didn't know what to think about it."
"It turned out all right, though."
"Luckily," Santana replies. "Of course my parents love you."
"I'm very lovable."
"They're wondering how someone so sweet, considerate, polite and well mannered, ended up with me, though."
"You're sweet and considerate of some people," Rachel argues.
"But I'm not polite or well mannered?"
"Not usually."
"You're not as sweet as everyone thinks you are," Santana grumbles.
"I'm blunt, actually," Rachel counters.
"So when am I going to meet your dads as your girlfriend?" Santana asks. "Seems fair."
"You know what I want to learn how to do next?" Rachel asks. "Juggle fire. I feel it would be an excellent exercise in hand eye coordination as well as showmanship. Not to mention, it would make Noah totally jealous. He's constantly--"
"Why don't you want your dads to meet your girlfriend?"
"For similar reasons as yours," Rachel replies.
"You say that," Santana says. "But I don't think that's quite the truth."
"Why would I lie?"
"A number of reasons, I'm sure."
"I'm just not ready yet," Rachel replies, quietly.
"I'm not sure I believe that either," Santana says. "You have this tell when you're lying."
"I do not."
"You do."
"I do not."
"You do," Santana nods.
Rachel sighs. "I'm just not ready."
"I'm letting it go for now," Santana replies. "Because I'm not in the mood to fight. But eventually I expect you to introduce me as your girlfriend. Especially since you've pushed for me to tell mine."
"Thank you."
"Some days, Berry," Santana tells her.
…
Sunday night at seven, Rachel finds herself on the Lopez front step, knocking.
The door swings open to reveal Mrs. Lopez. "Rachel dear, no need to knock, you're welcome to just come on in."
"Thanks, uh, Clara." Rachel holds up a bottle of wine. "I brought this."
Accepting it, Mrs. Lopez eyes Rachel. "And how did you get this?"
"I asked my daddy and he said I could take it," Rachel replies.
"He didn't ask why you needed a bottle of wine?"
"He trusts me. I'm very trust worthy."
Pursing her lips, Mrs. Lopez just nods and gestures for Rachel to follow her.
"Hey babe," Santana greets her when they enter the kitchen.
"Your girlfriend brought wine," Mrs. Lopez says.
"Um, okay."
"I have no plans to consume it," Rachel announces. "However, I thought it would be nice to bring. My fat--er, parents have excellent taste and I'm sure it's lovely."
"I'm sure it is, dear."
"I thought I heard the door," Mr. Lopez says, stepping into the kitchen.
"Hello Tomás," Rachel greets. "It's lovely to see you again."
"You as well Rachel." He steps aside and Rachel notices Santana's brother behind him. "I'm not sure you've met our oldest, Felix."
"No, I don't believe I have," Rachel replies, holding out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Felix."
"You too, Rachel," Felix says, shaking her hand with enthusiasm.
"Children, would you please set the table?" Mrs. Lopez asks.
Santana nods and grabs the plates. Rachel grabs silverware while Felix follows with glasses.
"Why are you here?" Santana hisses at Felix.
"Can't a young man want to eat dinner with his family every once in a while?"
"You haven't been home from college for a non break, ever," Santana points out as she begins setting plates.
"I had to meet this girl who not only got you to commit, but tell mom and dad about," Felix smirks. "I couldn't believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes."
"You're hilarious," Santana growls.
"Well, I'm glad he's here," Rachel speaks up.
"What?!"
"Thank you, Rachel. It's nice to find at least one person San's dating is polite."
"You better not cause trouble," Santana snaps.
Seeing the murderous look in his sister's eye, Felix says, "I think I'll go see if mom needs any help."
Done with placing the silverware, Rachel wraps her arms around Santana and leans her head against her shoulder blades. Santana finishes with the plates and turns in Rachel's embrace, resting her chin atop Rachel's head.
"You need to relax," Rachel says quietly.
"You're one to talk," Santana scoffs.
"A buffer of sorts is nice," Rachel replies.
"You say that now, but wait until the bastard gets going," Santana grumbles.
…
"So Rachel," Felix starts. "Tell me all about yourself."
"Um, there isn't much to tell," Rachel replies, feeling wary because of the panicked look Santana is giving her. "I'm a junior. I'm in glee because I like to sing. I'd like to one day perform on Broadway."
"Really?" Felix asks. "That's it?"
"The high points, I suppose."
"Hmmm."
It's quiet except for the clink of silverware.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Santana asks Felix.
"What?"
"That 'hmmm'," Santana replies. "What does that mean?"
"She's not what I expected is all," Felix replies.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Rachel asks.
"Probably a good thing," Felix tells her. "I mean, you're not a delinquent are you? My sister usually goes for the bad boy types."
"Well, who else can keep up with her?" Rachel replies. "She has a lot of… energy."
Felix smirks. "That she does."
"Though I find it rather… invigorating," Rachel continues.
"Do you?" Felix smirks.
"Quite," Rachel says. "I myself rarely stray outside of the box, but I am rather intrigued by it. I must admit that Santana's occasional bursts of delinquency are wholly entertaining."
"You're extremely loquacious," Felix comments.
"Thank you," Rachel replies. "I pride myself on my effusiveness."
Felix chuckles. "You know," he says. "If you weren't dating baby sis here, I would totally ask you out."
“Watch it,” Santana growls.
“I’m simply trying to get to know your, uh, paramour, sis,” Felix replies
“Maybe later,” Rachel says. “When San’s not around, you can tell me some embarrassing stories about her growing up.”
“Rach…”
Felix grins. “I really like you.”
“So how was your day yesterday girls?” Mr. Lopez asks.
“Papa,” Santana says.
“It’s our job as your family to embarrass you, Santana, dear,” Mrs. Lopez adds.
“What was yesterday?” Felix asks.
“Saturday,” Santana replies.
“Then why would-“
“Being the very busy individuals we are,” Rachel answers. “San and I are forced to schedule time together. Saturdays have therefore been designated as our day.”
Felix, grinning, stares at his sister who is concentrating very hard on her food. “I’m not sure if I find that romantic or practical.”
“It’s both, I think,” Rachel says. “And what’s wrong with blending the two?”
“One could argue that isn’t possible. Since love isn’t practical at all,” Felix counters.
“But if the individuals involved are pragmatic, or at least one of them is, then the two should more easily intertwined.”
“I think it’s certainly possible,” Felix allows. “But eventually the emotional will over rule reason.”
“The folly of youth, perhaps,” Rachel replies. “However, I believe that it is possible. If one knows their strengths and weaknesses, they can adjust their behavior and attempt to better incorporate their feelings. Yes there are outside variable to consider, but overall, I do believe it's possible."
"Are you sure you're only seventeen?" Felix asks.
…
Felix eventually backs off and lets the elder Lopez's converse with Rachel. Santana, continues to focus on her food. Still, she considers the dinner, mostly a success since she had counted on Felix being more of a tool.
“I really can’t figure out how the two of you ended up together,” Felix tells Santana as they watch Rachel reverse out of the driveway.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Whoa, little sis, calm down,” Felix replies. “I just meant, she’s not your usual fare.”
“Yeah, we’re a little different,” Santana admits. “But the way we see things, look at things is pretty similar.”
"I suppose," Felix says, looking contemplative. "I mean your approaches to romance don't sound similar, but after further contemplation, they do run fairly parallel."
"God," Santana groans. "I just realized how wordy you both are. Now it's totally going to creep me out."
"I'm not really," Felix replies. "Rachel just sort of brought it out. Knowing I could be as verbose as she was, I knew I had to try."
"I suppose I should just be glad the two of you got along," Santana mumbles.
"And that the 'rents seem to like her."
"More than they seem to like me," Santana grouses.
"Considering how they were informed that you were dating someone of the female persuasion, I think it turned out rather well," Felix comments.
"What is it with you people and all this information sharing?" Santana gripes.
…
Santana picks Brittany up Monday morning. The blonde bounces out her front door and opens the passenger side door with more enthusiasm necessary for a Monday morning in Santana's opinion.
"How'd dinner go?" Brittany asks. "You didn't call and tell me."
"Yeah, sorry. Felix was there, so I was distracted by his stupid face."
"Oooh, someone else actually met your brother. And your girlfriend at that," Brittany says. "It must be serious."
"Hey it wasn't my idea," Santana protests. "The dick wad just showed up. Surprised the hell out of me."
"What'd your parents think?"
"They seemed pretty amused by it," Santana admits. "After Rach and Felix bonded over using ten dollar words, my parents were practically gushing over her. I think they like her better than they like me."
"They're just not used to a teenager with manners in the house," Brittany replies. "I know you hate the whole parental involvement, but it could have gone badly considering you didn't tell them Rachel was a girl."
"Are you kidding? After Puckerman, Rachel is like manna from heaven."
"Yeah. True."
…
"Yo Berry," Puck greets when he finds Rachel at her locker. "You don't answer a guy's text?"
"Not when it comes in when I'm already sleeping, Noah," Rachel replies, shutting her locker.
"Sorry, but I wanted to know how dinner went."
"Why?"
"I've met her parents," Puck answers. "And I know what they think of me. So I'm just curious what they think of you."
"Did they catch you and San in bed together?" Rachel asks. "Because that could certainly color their opinion of you."
"No," Puck replies, sullen. "It was in the principal's office."
"Oh much better, bro."
"Whatever," Puck mumbles. "I suppose they still love you."
"Well, they somewhat already did."
"The next time I need to get my mom off my back about my dating habits, you're definitely having dinner at my house," Puck says. "A polite Jewish girl, my mom would flip out and probably buy me a car."
"You already have a truck," Rachel points out.
"You know what I mean."
Rachel has no response to this. So she decides to change the subject. "I met Santana's brother," Rachel offers.
"Seriously? I thought that guy was a myth."
"Don't be ridiculous, Noah," Rachel replies.
"Well, I'd never met him. Q hasn't. Maybe Britt has."
"Yes, well, he is apparently real," Rachel says. "And we got along famously."
"I bet you did," Puck smirks. "Lopez must've flipped."
"No, I don't think she was particularly pleased with how well we hit it off. Hopefully she's not too annoyed with me."
Puck cocks his head slightly examining Rachel's outfit as they walk. "She might be, but I think she'll forget because she's distracted by your skirt. Or lack there of."
"Noah." Rachel smacks him on the arm.
"Can't help it, Berry," Puck replies. "That is completely and utterly indecent. I definitely approve."
"Yes, well that's what I was going for."
"Excellent."
…
It's lunch time and the table is oddly quiet. Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Artie are cautiously eating while trying not to stare at Brittany and Santana seated next to them. They know they should be used to this sort of thing because it isn't exactly new. However, the lack of Rachel's presence is. Especially in relation to the two Cheerios because while Brittany will occasionally sit with them, Santana rarely does without Rachel being in attendance as well.
There's speculation about where Rachel currently is, but despite being super curious, Kurt refuses to ask Santana, which Tina doesn't understand. Yeah, the Cheerio is still a major bitch, she's mellowed a bit since dating Rachel and is almost pleasant, for Santana, to her fellow glee clubbers.
Finally Tina loses patience with Kurt and turns to her right. "Where's Rachel?"
Santana just glowers at them.
"She's helping the theater kids," Brittany supplies.
"Really?" Mercedes asks. "Again?"
"That freshman, Melissa--"
"Marisa," Santana corrects.
"Right. She asked Rachel for a one on one session to work on something. So that's where Rach is."
With that question answered, everyone returns to their lunches. However, Kurt's mind is analyzing the situation. Santana looks beyond pissed, but is apparently doing nothing to stop the one on one session. Though it looks like she'd really like to. It makes Kurt wonder if there's something more going on.
He has vague memories of whom Brittany's talking about. He remembers a little blonde freshman trailing after Rachel with stars in her eyes the first few months of the year. He and Mercedes had chalked it up to part of the bizarre universe they felt like they'd fallen into. It was obvious that the girl had a crush on Rachel. Kurt blames the knife throwing; that seems to have gotten everyone interested for a bit.
The way that Santana is acting makes Kurt wonder if maybe Rachel is doing more than coaching Marisa. After all, Brittany did say Rachel could kiss whomever she wanted.
Looking over at Mercedes, he can see she's having similar thoughts. He wishes they could come up with a way to test the theory. Yeah, they already have half serious/half joking confirmation from Rachel, but with this new incarnation of Rachel Berry, it's difficult to know what to take seriously.
There will definitely have to be a brainstorming session later.
…
Finn can admit he feels guilty about what he’s planning. But he also knows he’s not the smartest guy around, so when he comes up with a plan, he has to jump on it. The fact that he was able to come up with one at all is rather surprising to him. He’s not really the planning type. He always left that to the people around him, Quinn, Rachel, even Puck. He can lead people, sure, but schemes really aren’t his thing.
He really did try to let it go. He knows Kurt and Mercedes will eventually figure it out. As seasoned gossips, they’re good at that. But Finn isn’t all that patient. Besides, there’s no guarantee that when they do figure it out, that Finn will manage to overhear. He figures the only reason he’s heard as much as he has is that they’ve been talking about it so much.
So while the test he's set up isn't all that great for Rachel, it's the only thing he can think to do. And that's how he's able to barely ignore the guilt he's swimming in.
…
Monday evening when Santana arrives home, she goes to the kitchen, looking for something to snack on.
"Hello, dear," Mrs. Lopez says entering the kitchen.
"Hey, mom."
"How's Rachel?"
"She's fine," Santana replies. "She said to tell you hello."
"Such a sweetheart," Mrs. Lopez says. "I'm really glad you finally introduced her to us."
"Uh, yeah, great."
"I suppose she's the reason for your improved grades and drop in delinquency."
"Yeah," Santana grumbles. "She always says homework first."
"And she really seems to care about you," Mrs. Lopez continues.
"Yeah, well she's pretty important to me too."
"Good," Mrs. Lopez replies. "A girl like that deserves to be treated right. You better be treating her properly."
"I am, mom."
"Good, because I'd like it if she's around for a long time."
"We're dating aren't we?" Santana asks. "That's a big deal for me."
"I know, dear. And I'm so proud of you for that. I just don't want you to fuck it up."
Santana's so thrown by her mom's use of the word fuck, she almost missing the implication. "Wait. Why would it be my fault?"
Mrs. Lopez just looks at her daughter.
"Yeah, fine. It probably will be, but I promise I have no intentions of screwing up. Okay?"
"Good. Because I'd really like to see Rachel over her for Sunday dinner on a regular basis."
Santana groans. "Mom."
"Santana."
"Fine," Santana says finally. "As long as it's not every Sunday."
"Lovely," Mrs. Lopez replies. "There's one thing I was curious about though, dear."
"Yes, mom?"
"Have you met her parents?"
"Uh, yeah, once or twice."
"Once or twice? You're over there every weekend."
"They're not around much," Santana answers. "Like Rach says they're hard core workaholics."
"Oh. That's a shame."
"Rachel turned out just fine," Santana counters.
"I'm not saying she didn’t, dear," Mrs. Lopez replies. "I just think parents should be around."
"Oh."
"What do her folks do?"
"Uh… her dad is a lawyer, I think. And, uh…"
"What?"
"… her daddy is in sales I think. He travels a lot. That's why he's not around too much."
"So she has two dads?"
Santana nods.
"And no mother?"
"Just a surrogate."
"Why would I care about that dear?"
"I don't know."
"Whoever her parents are, helped shaped her into the wonderful young lady she is. And you should know I have no real issues with homosexuality."
"Yeah."
"Well, when she does eventually tell them, we'll have to have them over for dinner."
"Goody."
"I don't need your sarcasm, dear."
"Sorry," Santana grumbles.
…
Tuesday morning, Rachel is just about to her locker when she’s stopped by Kenny Marrison. The only reason she knows who he is, is because two weeks ago, Puck had mentioned that the freshman had been pushing to be on the varsity team instead of JV. Apparently the kid had been following Coach around, being persistently annoying.
Rachel’s about to ask him what he wants when he holds up the largest slushie cup ever and tosses its blue contents in her face.
It’s been a long time since she’s been hit with one and the cold is a shock. Thankfully, on instinct, she’d closed her eyes, so after wiping some away she’s able to open her eyes without too much sting.
Kenny is grinning like a maniac and the hallway is deadly silent for exactly three seconds before Santana comes barreling down the hall, followed closely by Puck. Santana delivers a fierce right hook that takes him down. And then Puck's there, picking him up as a target for Santana.
What’s disturbing about the whole thing is how quiet it is. Normally if there’s violence, people are cheering and egging the fighters on. Apparently, because this is simply some follow through to threats, everyone simply watches in awe and fear.
Brittany and surprisingly, Quinn, is at Rachel’s side at this point. Flanking her, they watch as Kenny gets his ass kicked before being dropped onto the floor. Brittany, then goes to Rachel’s locker, opens it and pulls out a change of clothes.
“You still have extra clothes in your locker?” Quinn asks.
“One never knows what’s going to happen throughout the day,” Rachel replies. “Especially in this place.”
“Well that’s certainly true.”
Carrying the clothes, Brittany leads Rachel to the girls’ bathroom with Quinn trailing behind.
Meanwhile, people are starting to disperse as Santana and Puck try to figure out from the crowd why the freshman did what he did.
Puck also has a couple of the other JV footballers help the freshman to the nurse’s office. They still don’t have a nurse, but there's placing for him to lie down. Maybe none of the teachers will even notice because there wasn't the usual boisterous encouragements there usually are during a fight.
"You're an idiot," Santana tells him. "Eventually a teacher is going to hear someone talking about it."
"Depends on the teacher," Puck counters.
"Well, yeah," Santana admits. "But when they find out we were defending Rachel Berry, they'll probably expel us and give that freshman a fucking trophy or something."
"Like they'd give out trophies," Puck scoffs.
…
In the bathroom, Brittany helps Rachel wipe the slushie off her face and out of her hair while Quinn stands by awkwardly guarding the door and holding Rachel's spare change of clothes.
"So, uh, what do you think brought this on?" Quinn asks, unable to just stand in silence.
"He's a big jerk weasel," Brittany replies.
"I'm sure it was some sort of idiotic jock dare," Rachel replies.
"But to go against Santana," Quinn says. "I mean, she gave Greg Sanderson a broken leg and he had to have his jaw wired."
"Actually that was me," Brittany supplies.
Quinn gapes at her. "What?"
Brittany nods as she takes the clothing out of Quinn's hands and gives it to Rachel, who, smiling, goes into a stall to change.
"But I thought--I mean, everyone did, really--but it was you?" Quinn stutters.
Brittany nods again.
"I, um, I don't know what to say--or think about that."
"I thought it was rather sweet," Rachel says, exiting the stall, clothes changed. "Though, I don't normally condone violence, I have to admit having it done on one's behalf can alter one's stance on the matter. I confess it appeals to the romantic in me."
"So Santana didn't do it?" Quinn asks.
"Well, she was there," Brittany admits. "But more as a look out and to reinforce her message."
"Yes, they're like the Cheerio protect Rachel Berry duo or something more clever sounding," Rachel says, brushing her hair at the sink.
"Can we be the Cheerio Avengers?" Brittany asks.
"If you want, Britt."
"Awesome."
…
Principal Figgins leans back in his desk chair as he warily watches Sue Sylvester rant and pace in front of him. Per usual the woman didn't have an appointment or wait for his secretary to usher her in. Watching her, he has to wonder if she has a mode other than smug satisfaction or ridiculous, yet still seems to be reasonable indignation. Because he's not sure he's seen her any other way.
"…has to be done. You need to grow a pair and punish the perpetrator."
"Fine," Figgins says. "He has detention."
"Not good enough," Sue replies. "Assault with malicious intent deserves five days suspension."
"Sue, you can't be serious."
"Deadly."
"An entire week is too much for something that used to happen on a daily basis."
"You just said the wrong thing."
Figgins groans to himself. "Two days suspension is the best I can do."
"Considering your track record, I suppose I'll have to accept that," Sue replies. "I'll go tell the little cretin."
"Sue, wait," Figgins calls out.
Turning, Sue eyes him. "Yes?"
"What about the ones who fought him?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sue. Immediately after the incident, a football player and a Cheerio attacked that boy. I don't think I need to guess who."
"You have no proof."
"I have a school full of witness," Figgins protests.
"Really? Where? I didn't see any outside your office."
"You really expect me to believe no one saw someone getting pulverized? Before the first bell rang?"
"Maybe they were all busy having premarital sex and doing meth."
"I hope not," Figgins replies. "That's terribly unsanitary and we don’t have the janitorial support to clean it all."
"Excellent," Sue says. "Now that that's settled, I have students to terrorize."
"Sue, I'm serious, the perpetrators need to be punished as well."
"Here's what I'm going to do for you," Sue says, placing her palms on Figgins' desk and leaning in. "I'll find out who it was and take care of it myself."
"Sue, no, absolutely not," Figgins replies. "Because you'll either tell them not to do it in front of witnesses and let them go or duct tape them to a wall in your office and occasionally throw rotten eggs at them."
"As if I would use the same punishment twice," Sue scoffs. "I was actually thinking of suspending them slightly in the air by their wrists, while their feet and shins are immersed in a mixture of honey and kalamata olive pits."
"Sue, we've talked about your methods of punishment before," Figgins says. "They leave too many visible marks behind. So the answer is no."
"You'll see it my way all too soon," Sue replies before spinning on her heel and exiting the office.
…
It's quiet in the nurse's office. Kenny tries not to feel too unsettled since it was eerily quiet when he was getting his ass kicked too. As soon as he feels up to it, he's going home. As far as he knows, no one's called his parents. Hopefully he can go home, skip tomorrow and pretend that none of this ever happened.
"Hey. Hey. Marrrison."
Kenny's shaken out of his light doze by the shaking of his shoulder. The whispered voice is too low to identify. He rolls over slightly to look over his shoulder and is fearful to see Puck looming over him.
"Oh god, please don't hit me anymore," Kenny moans. "I won't do it again. I swear. I won't even go near her or think about her."
"Relax kid," Puck says. "I just have a couple questions."
"All right," Kenny agrees cautiously.
"You're not new around here," Puck starts. "You know there's no slushies allowed anymore. Why'd you do it?"
"I didn't, uh, I mean that I, um, well, the thing is--"
"Tell me or I will hurt you again."
"He asks me to. I wasn't sure, but he promised me he'd help me get onto to Varsity. I had to. I didn't think it was that big of deal."
"Yeah? You ever been slushied before kid?"
Kenny shakes his head.
"It's a big deal. It totally sucks," Puck says.
"I, uh---"
"Save it," Puck tells him. "So who was it?"
"Just some upperclassman."
"It's gotta be someone with clout," Puck says. "Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to convince Coach of anything."
"Don't all you guys have, uh, clout?"
"Damnit, tell me who it was," Puck growls. "Or I what you're feeling now will be miniscule in comparison." He leans in closer and grabs Kenny by the front of his shirt.
"Oh god, it was Hudson!" Kenny wails. "He came to me yesterday and asked me to. Said it wasn't a big deal and that I'd be on Varsity next year for sure. I believed him. I mean, he's the quarterback, right?"
"Fucking Finn asked you to?!"
"Yeah, yeah, he did," Kenny continues. "I thought it was weird cause I thought him and that Rachel girl were friends. I mean, you guys are in glee together or whatever, right?"
"If you're lying to me…"
"I'm not. I swear. I swear on my dead grandmother."
"I'm going to choose to believe you because only a complete and utter dick would swear on a dead grandmother who isn't dead."
"I would never."
"Fine," Puck huffs. "I see you around Berry again, it better be because you're apologizing. Otherwise, stay clear of her. Got it?"
"Yeah. Definitely. Got it."
"Better watch your back, Marrison," Puck says, backing out of the room. "Bad things happen to people who go after my bro like that."
And then he's gone, leaving Kenny alone to tremble in wait.
…
At lunch, everyone is talking about Kenny's actions, Santana's and Puck's reaction and the fact that Figgins actually punished him.
Rachel is conspicuously missing from the glee table. But looking around, Kurt doesn't see Santana either, so he concludes they're together. He shudders to think what they're doing, despite doing his best not to let his thoughts go down that route.
"I still can't figure out why he did it," Tina says. "I mean, it's not like he has anything against Rachel."
"Yeah," Artie chimes in. "I don't think they've even interacted like ever."
"Maybe it was a dare or an initiation," Mercedes suggests.
"An initiation? This far into the year?" Kurt questions.
Mercedes shrugs. "Who understands how those jock brains work?"
"You're giving them too much credit," Kurt replies.
"What?"
"Assuming they have functioning brains," Kurt answers. "I mean, did you see what Santana did to him? Why would anyone go after Rachel? Especially after what happened last time?"
No one has an answer for that.
"Do you think Puck or Santana are going to be suspended too?" Artie asks.
"I'm sure Rachel will intervene on their behalf if it comes up," Tina says.
"Plus Coach Sylvester," Kurt adds.
"Oooh," Artie says. "Figgins wouldn't stand a chance."
…
The guilt Finn felt about setting up a slushie facial for Rachel is overshadowed by his almost awe of the reaction it caused.
The speed that Puck and Santana reacted with blew him away. He didn't see either of them anywhere near Rachel and yet they'd been there in like five seconds. If he didn't know better, he'd think the two had some sort of slushie throwing tracker system hooked up.
And Santana had been particularly brutal. He knew she could be cruel verbally and though he's never seen it, word is that she gives harsh poundings when she loses her temper. Finn remember freshman year when some senior called Brittany a retard. He limped the rest of the year.
What really surprised him though was the fact that Quinn had stood protectively next to Rachel and had apparently gone with her into the bathroom to help clean up. He's having trouble picturing it. It's such a contrast to the Quinn who not that long ago was calling Rachel "Man Hands" and threatening her existence.
Finn's really starting to believe Rachel has some sort of weird super power. He remembers Puck telling him about some weird adventures in the sewers and wonders if Rachel fell into a vat of nuclear waste. Except what exactly would her power be? Some sort of weird hypnotic beckoning power? It's the only explanation for the apparent 180 Quinn's taken on her Rachel Berry stance, as well as the massive protective streak Santana and Puck seem to have.
…
That afternoon, glee is somewhat subdued. Rachel notices that she's getting a lot of odd looks, which she doesn't understand. It's not like she was the one that pulverized some poor freshman. Sure it was done for her, but still.
Santana is sitting next to her with her arms crossed looking particularly surly. She is flanked by Noah on her other side looking just as threatening as well as pissed. Brittany and Quinn are behind her looking less intimidating, but still just as stern. Well, as stern as Brittany can manage to look, which essentially means she's not smiling.
"What's up with this silence guys?" Mr. Schue asks, standing in front of them. "You guys are acting like something terrible happened today."
Everyone, sans Rachel, stares at him. A few people's jaws have even dropped. Rachel wonders how any of them can be surprised at Mr. Schue's reaction.
Kurt raises his hand and speaks. "Didn't you hear about what happened this morning?"
Mr. Schue nods. "Of course I did, Kurt. But I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like Rachel hasn't been slushied before. I know how much it sucks, but she still had a change of clothes, so it's no problem, right?" Mr. Schue seems to pause a moment. "Though I am confused why Figgins suspended Kenny. I know it's been a while since someone's been slushied, but suspension seems rather harsh."
Santana jumps out of her chair. "You can't be serious!"
"Santana," Mr. Schue says. "Being outraged seems a bit hypocritical, doesn't it? As a prime slushie thrower, you can't be one to point fingers."
"I never threw slushies," Santana protests. "I preferred the cruel, verbal assaults actually."
"It's true, she did," Brittany pipes up.
"Nonetheless," Mr. Schue says. "I think the reaction to the whole thing quickly blew out of portion. I saw the kid before he was escorted home. He looked like he'd been hit by a car."
"Yeah, well, when I make a decree, I like it to be followed," Santana replies.
"Still, I don't really approve of avengement like that," Mr. Schue continues. "I really thought Rachel had helped you work past that. I have half a mind to turn you into Figgins."
"Half a mind is right," Brittany mumbles.
"You wouldn't," Puck says, standing as well.
"It's my job as an educator to protect you guys from your immature decisions and help you grow as individuals."
"That's a crock of shit, Mr. Schue," Santana says. "If that was really true, you would have done something about the slushie attacks."
"That's different."
"How?" Kurt pipes up.
"Well, it's just a slushie to the face. I know it's a harsh cold surprise, but it's certainly not akin to putting someone in the nurse's office."
"It's worse," Mercedes says.
"Yeah," Tina adds. "Fearing it on a daily basis is way worse than getting your ass kicked just once."
"Yeah, Mr. Schue," Artie says. "It's a real bitch to try and get cleaned up. Especially for me."
"Yes, well, you're special circumstances, Artie, I can admit that," Mr. Schue replies. "But if it was really a big deal, why didn't any of you try to stop it?"
No one says anything. They're all staring at Mr. Schue in shock. Except for Rachel, who still isn't surprised. She's nonchalantly jotting things down in her notebook.
Glancing over and seeing her reaction causes Santana to elbow her.
"Yes?" Rachel drawls.
"What are you doing?"
"When something surprising happens, I'll react accordingly. However, until then, I have things to work on. Especially since it doesn't seem like we'll be actually singing anytime soon."
Now everyone, including Mr. Schue, is staring at Rachel.
"What does that mean, exactly Rachel?" Mr. Schue asks.
"I believe my last statement is quite clear. I find none of this conversation a shock, therefore I am not reacting to it."
"So you understand where I'm coming from then?" Mr. Schue asks. It's obvious he seems relieved by this.
"No, not exactly, Mr. Schue," Rachel replies. "I'm simply saying that nothing that has been said so far surprises me. Though I do admit to being slightly baffled by everyone else's reaction to your statements."
"Why is that, Rachel?"
"It's not like you haven't said something similar before."
Mr. Schue grimaces.
"Rach you can't be serious," Noah says.
"I am," Rachel nods. "Besides, it's not like he ever stood up for us last year. I mean, he let Quinn get slushied, knowing she was pregnant. You don't slushie a pregnant girl. It's not right."
"Rachel…" Mr. Schuester starts.
"She's right," Quinn pipes up. "As if I didn't have enough problems last year without having to worry about being slushied."
Everyone's eyes are now focused on Mr. Schuester.
"You guys know I don't have the power to stop that sort of thing."
"But you didn't even try," Artie points out.
"I spent all of last year fighting for glee. For you guys," Mr. Schuester protests. "I could barely get Figgins to listen to me about that, much less anything else."
"And for yourself," Mercedes says.
"Yeah, I enjoy glee as much as you do," Mr. Schuester admits. "And I know how it helped me when I was here. I want you guys to have an outlet like that too."
"An outlet that got us slushied all the time," Kurt says.
"I don't see why this matters anymore, since for the most part the slushies have stopped," Mr. Schuester argues.
"Thanks to Santana of all people," Tina says. "No offense."
"None taken," Santana says.
"You say that like she did it for unselfish reasons," Mr. Schuester says.
"How is doing it to protect her girlfriend selfish?" Brittany asks.
"It's not," Puck says.
"It should have happened a long time ago," Quinn adds.
"You used to be one of the worse perpetrators, Quinn," Mr. Schuester argues.
"Thank you for pointing that out, Mr. Schue," Quinn replies. "I really appreciate at that. Are you saying I can't grow as a person?"
"Of course I'm not saying that, Quinn," Mr. Schuester replies. "However your apparent attitude change is a bit disconcerting."
"Why?"
"Well, wasn't it just a few weeks ago that you were telling me what a horrible influence Rachel is on Santana?"
"Maybe," Quinn allows. "But once again, am I not allowed to change?"
"Well, certainly, but--"
"I'm finding this whole conversation very unsettling," Rachel announces. "I think it'd be best to simply table this discussion indefinitely. And perhaps cancel practice this afternoon because I have a feeling, no one's in the right frame of mind."
Mr. Schuester looks relieved.
"However," Rachel continues. "I'm going to trust that no one is going to mention who put Kenny in the Nurse's office to Figgins."
"Rachel…"
"I'm serious, Mr. Schue," Rachel says. "I just don't think it would be a good idea. In fact, I think it's a really bad idea. Don't you, Britt?"
"I do, Rach," Brittany chirps.
"Rachel, I'm your teacher, you can't threaten me," Mr. Schuester says.
"I wasn't threatening anyone, Mr. Schue," Rachel replies. "I was simply stating my feelings on the matter. Wouldn't you guys agree?"
"Oh yeah," Santana says.
"Sounds like it to me," Tina adds.
"Yeah, I didn't hear any threats," Mike says.
"Excellent, well if you all would excuse me, I'm going to get a jump on my homework," Rachel says, standing.
Everyone watches her stroll out with an air of nonchalance. After the door closes behind her, Brittany stands and grabs Quinn, before pushing Santana out the door after her. This spurs everyone else to stand and begin gathering their things.
"I'll see you guys Thursday then, I guess," Mr. Schuester says.
Everyone ignores them as they exit the choir room.
…
"Well I guess we have our answer," Kurt says as they walk out.
"Yeah, we do," Mercedes agrees. "I don't know how I feel about it, though."
"It is what it is."
"You seem rather indifferent," Mercedes points out.
"I guess. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet."
"The fact that Figgins suspended him makes me think Rachel really controls everyone with any power at McKinley."
"I know," Kurt agrees. "I can't figure that part out yet. I didn't think Figgins knew Rachel outside of her position in glee. Certainly not enough to punish someone who went after her. That is definitely a change."
"It's definitely a mystery."
"Either way, we definitely have to stay on her good side," Kurt says.
"We just stay out of the way and we'll be fine," Mercedes says.
…
Puck grabs Mike before he exits. "Hey, man, I need your help. You mind?"
"Sure. Whadda need?"
"Follow my lead?"
Mike nods, baffled.
"Finn, dude, wait up a sec," Puck calls out, motioning Mike to follow him.
Finn stops and turns. "Yeah?"
"Can we talk a minute?"
"Sure."
"Cool." Puck grabs Finn and drags him into the nearest bathroom. Mike trails after looking bemused. When all three are inside, Puck locks the door. "Privacy," he says at Finn's questioning look.
"Right."
"Listen," Puck starts. "I know we were just talking about it, but I wanted to ask you something without too many other people around."
"Okay."
"Did you tell Marrison that you'd get him onto Varsity if he slushied Rachel?"
Mike gasps.
"What? No way."
"Then why did he say you did?" Puck asks.
"I dunno," Finn answers. "Cause he's a liar?"
"You really he'd lie under threat of severe pain?" Puck questions. "He doesn't seem to have the balls for that."
"Well, people can surprise you," Finn offers.
"That's for damn sure," Mike mutters.
Finn looks over Puck's shoulder, having momentarily forgot Mike was there.
"I don't think he was lying," Puck says.
"Why would I want Rachel to be slushied?"
"How the fuck should I know?" Puck asks. "Maybe you're still mad about her dumping you. Maybe you're trying to get back at Santana by making Rachel think Santana isn't protecting her. Maybe you're just a dick. I have no idea, man. I feel like I hardly know you anymore."
"Well, maybe you don't, dude," Finn replies. "It's not like we hang out anymore. You're always with Rachel."
"Hey, I said you could hang too, but you always refused. So I stopped asking."
"Well, yeah," Finn replies. "You guys always made me feel like the third wheel or whatever. And you're not even dating."
"I don't know you anymore, man."
"Same here, dude."
"Is that why he didn't speak up about anything earlier?" Mike asks.
"Maybe."
"Oh god," Finn groans. "You're not going to tell Rachel, are you? Or worse, Santana?"
"I should," Puck answers. "You'd deserve it."
"C'mon man."
"Though, I had another thought, actually."
"Yeah? What's that?" Finn asks.
Puck punches Finn hard in the jaw, making him stumble backwards.
"What the hell man?" Finn wipes some blood from his lip.
"Mike, man," Puck says. "A little help?"
Finn doesn't expect Mike to, but he does in fact join Puck on the other side of Finn, still reeling slightly from the punch. They each grab a shoulder and drag him towards a stall. When they're inside, they grab Finn's legs as well. It's awkward because Finn's so tall, but they're just barely able to lift him.
"Shit, no way, guys, come on. Not cool."
Ignoring him, they're slowly able to put his head in the toilet. Puck nods at Mike who flushes the toilet. There's gurgling and sputtering, but they don't let him up. Once the toilet's done flushing, Puck nods to Mike who flushes it again. This time they only hear whimpering and sputtering. They lift him up slightly so he can breathe.
"What the fuck--"
Puck nods at Mike and they lower him again and Mike flushes the toilet again. This time once it's done, they lower his legs and let him fall, causing Finn to bump his head against the seat.
"Lopez would've done worse," Puck tells him. He then kicks him in the stomach and leaves.
Mike checks to make sure Finn won't drown and follows Puck out of the bathroom.
…
Driving home, Will wonders how Rachel Berry is able to intimidate him like that. At five foot nothing, she's not a particularly threatening figure and yet he's almost frightened of her. He wonders if it's the knowledge that she has Noah Puckerman, Santana Lopez and maybe even Quinn Fabray in her corner. If the four of them put their heads together, they could probably take over Lima, if not the entire state of Ohio.
He does believe there should be consequences for Santana and Puck, though he's reluctant to punish any of his glee kids, even Puck. He's having more and more difficulty being the proper educator he wants to be. He wonders if it's the effects of her personal life being in shambles or simply a reaction to the absurdity McKinley always seems immersed in.
For now, he won't say anything. Though not because of anything Rachel said or implied. At least that's what he tells himself.
…
Wednesday, morning the minute she steps inside McKinley, Rachel is ushered into Figgins' office.
"Good morning Ms. Berry."
"Morning Principal Figgins."
"I suppose you know why I asked you to stop by," Figgins begins.
"Actually, I have no idea," Rachel replies.
"Please don't play stupid with me, Ms. Berry."
"Sir, I think it would be easier if you just told me what this is all about."
"Fine," Figgins says. "Yesterday you were slushied by a young man, is that correct?"
"It is," Rachel nods.
"And I'm sure you heard he was suspended."
"I did," Rachel nods again. "I must say I was rather surprised by that."
"Yes, well, that was Coach Sylvester's influence more than anything else."
"I see."
"However, seeing as I assisted you, I was hoping you could assist me," Figgins continues.
"Sir, I still have no idea who the prankster is."
"Actually I was referring to who beat up Mr. Marrison."
"Oh," Rachel says.
"Exactly."
"I can't really help you with that either, sir," Rachel replies. "I was in the bathroom cleaning up. Slushie facials are messy things."
"I'm sure they are," Figgins agrees. "But you must have seen or heard something."
"Rumors, perhaps, but nothing concrete."
"You really expect me to believe that, Ms. Berry?" Figgins asks.
"I'm not expecting anything, Principal Figgins," Rachel replies. "I'm simply answering your questions."
"I know you have to be lying this time," Figgins tells her.
Rachel's eyes narrow slightly. "Prove it."
"Excuse me?"
"Seeing as I have no information to give you, sir, do you mind if I go to my locker now? I have books to get before first period begins."
"We're not done yet, young lady."
"I don't see how we can have more to discuss," Rachel replies. "You're not going to get the information from me that you're seeking, so continuing this meeting is really just a waste of our time. I'm sure being a principal is a very time consuming job, so I'd hate to stop you from doing that."
"You're bordering on rudeness, Ms. Berry," Figgins tells her.
"That was never my intention, sir," Rachel replies. "I'm simply trying to be efficient with our time."
Figgins eyes Rachel who stares back, trying to seem innocent and unconcerned.
After a minute, Figgins sighs. "Fine. You may go."
Rachel nods, stands and flounces out of the office.
…
Rachel is pulled out of third period by Coach Sylvester's two freshmen messengers. She follows them down the hall as they whisper and occasionally throw a look over their shoulder which causes them both to giggle.
"Not to be rude," Rachel says as they're standing in front of Coach Sylvester's office. "But I don't think I know your names."
"My name's Missy," the blonde says.
"And I'm Wendy," the redhead pipes up.
Rachel nods. "Okay."
"Coach said you should just go in," Missy says.
They part so Rachel can walk in between them. Just as she opening the door, she feels two hands on her ass. She spins around to confront them, but they're already halfway down the hallway, giggling hysterically. Shaking her head, Rachel enters Coach Sylvester's office.
"Have a seat, Berry," Coach says.
Rachel does.
"I'm sure you know why you're here."
"Sort of," Rachel replies. "I'm assuming it has something to do with yesterday's antics."
"It does indeed."
"Figgins said you persuaded him to punish Kenny," Rachel says.
"Is that the moron's name?" Coach asks. "Well, I suppose you could say that."
"I appreciate it."
"Don't get too haughty, Berry. It was just as much for me as it was for you."
"To exude more power over him, I assume," Rachel says.
"I'm glad you understand."
"Nonetheless," Rachel continues. "I appreciate it anyway. Things done that benefit me, even laterally are appreciated."
"Because you're smart enough to be grateful when the actions of others have positive side consequences for you," Coach Sylvester replies.
"Thank you Coach."
"I must say, though, I'm surprised how quickly Lopez and Puckerman jumped in there. Record breaking reaction time."
"I was impressed as well," Rachel admits. "Especially since I'm fairly certain they were nowhere near by."
"You'll do great things one day, Berry," Coach says. "You have more influence than you may think."
"Perhaps," Rachel allows. "Or I just inspire loyalty and a protective instinct."
"Well my two messengers seem to be taken with you," Coach continues. "I've been told anytime I need your presence, they're willing to hunt you down."
"I can imagine," Rachel replies, wryly, thinking back to their hands squeezing her ass. "They're quite forward."
"I think it's the skirts," Coach Sylvester says.
"What about Quinn?"
"Q is the exception that proves the rule."
"Perhaps."
…
All day when Rachel walks down the halls Wednesday, she can feel the difference. Enough of her classmates saw Santana's reaction to the slushie and no one wants to risk the Cheerio's ire. Even though they'd seen the supposed aftermath of Santana's fury, it hadn't fully sunk in like actually seeing it apparently has.
Not that Rachel feels she needs protecting. She has her own ways of fighting back. She is, however, grateful that no more slushie facials will come her way. Hopefully. And getting a little more respect walking down the halls is giving her a nice little ego boost.
Still, she feels odd. The halls part for her and people are careful not to touch her. It beats getting shoved into lockers. Still, she's glad when she runs into Brittany and Tina, so she can walk down the hall without feeling like a leaper. Tina chats about the movie she saw the night before and Brittany is content to drape herself over Rachel and occasionally tease Tina. It's, Rachel supposes, a better ending to getting slushied than she ever experienced before. However, she curious about how this is going to affect things in the long run; she suppose only time will tell.