what'm I supposed to do with this?

[skylos]

I want my brother (youngest of six kids) who is staying with me looking for work to get a job.  He has culinary training experience.  I told him on sunday, after he's been farting around for a solid month not actually finding a job (barely applying to many places, not following up on the possibilities he does find - he's interviewed a few places,

Comments

[wolfstoy]

I'd say you're dealing with someone with severe depression. It is best to get professional help involved. If he is threatening to take his own life, you must call the police. They will do an involuntary 72 hour hold to evaluate his mental health. If he needs treatment, they may be able to at least get him pointed in the right direction. If you don't do this and he does something drastic, you might not forgive yourself.

[chibiabos]

I cannot say anything that would differ from this. Depression is a snowball ... it has real, physical effects on energy levels, diet and sleep, making it difficult to find work, which worsen the self-image, which worsen the depression, which worsens the symptoms, which makes finding and keeping a job even more difficult, which feeds the depression ...

Unfortunately, it is a cycle I am all too personally familiar with.

[greatmanly]

*snug*

http://www.twloha.com/find-help/

Suggestions:

If you're asking him to leave regardless of how he's looking for a job -- It can be really hard. Set your boundaries (like having him leave), stick to your boundaries, but also recognize that depression is a real illness and it's hard for anyone touched by it. The helplines on the site may also help him find temporary housing, etc.

If you wouldn't be asking him to leave if he was diligently looking for a job -- maybe saying that he has to diligently treat his depression to stay is a possibility. The link above is a very general one. You're not a doctor or a therapist, and you're not expected to be one. You can still care though without knowing what to do.

If you know your boundaries, it can be easier to figure out what you can offer him to help. And you yourself can get help for supporting him too. (I tend to think that supporters of folks who are depressed or suicidal need a lot of care too.) Reply

[skylos]

Huh. He's not here this evening. He said he was going to the crisis center today, but he didn't apparently come back. He didn't take his cell phone either. Well, I'll inquire of netcare in the morning if he's there, and otherwise file a missing persons report tomorrow. Curious.

[chibiabos]

I wish you a positive outcome of today for your brother.

[skylos]

So I got a call from the netcare people, they say he's been there overnight and suggest he stay another night, but he says he thinks he'll die of boredom if he stays because there is absolutely nothing at all to do. They say the'll give him a bus pass and send him home then.