Comments | skylar_inari: Mercy // Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi // T

skylar_inari

Mercy // Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi // T

Jan 15, 2011 19:43

Title: Mercy
Author: Killaurey
Rating: T
Word Count: 11,205
Summary: Mission!fic, future!fic. Of all the things she thought she’d do in her life, agreeing with a demon wasn’t one of them. Sakura-centric, Kakashi-centric. Written for the prompt The Tell-Tale Heart for the Poe Challenge on kakasaku. Beta’d by the absolutely fabulous puffinmuffin.
Warnings: Mentions of ( Read more... )

kakasaku, naruto, fic

Comments 11

a_lifestyle January 17 2011, 08:58:02 UTC

Oh, girl, you really went and typed up a fic here!

Wow, where to start? I absolutely loved the interactions of Sakura and Hisoka, and how we figure out what is taking place along with Sakura. The imagery of the demons and its heart were an interesting take on the prompt, and I enjoyed the bittersweet ending--very fitting!

Very nicely done!

skylar_inari January 17 2011, 11:44:52 UTC

Hahaha! It is so long my hands are still tired!

Thank you so much! \o/

goldfishlover73 January 18 2011, 21:52:05 UTC

Oh...the ending was so unexpected. Sakura saying no, letting those people suffer. So unlike her...but in a good way.
Beautiful

skylar_inari January 18 2011, 22:15:00 UTC

Hahaha! I'm glad you don't seem to think it was totally OOC? I just--can't really see her thinking that those who stood by and knew a child was being abused go unpunished, and her options were either fight and lose against a demon or save the small children who didn't know about the abuse. ^^; She kinda had her back against the wall!

I'm glad you liked it, though! Thanks so much!

goldfishlover73 January 20 2011, 10:01:45 UTC

She's a bit OOC, but wouldn't anyone be in that situation?
I see OOC as being blatantly out of character. But, at the same time, I feel that, through my reading of fanfiction, the Sakura in my mind might not be the same Sakura Kishimoto made.
You know, when fandom creates the personality.
Meh...I think I'm rambling...No, she wasn't OOC, in my opinion, and if people tell you other wise, they are sheer poppycock!

(The comment has been removed)

skylar_inari January 19 2011, 02:14:13 UTC

Thank you!

gothirishrose January 19 2011, 03:12:10 UTC

I had to read this through a second time, I enjoyed it so much. I like the idea that a crime like that can be assuaged, finding justice, even though that justice was horrible in and of itself. Beautiful interaction and tension building as Sakura walks along with the boy-demon. Nicely done!

skylar_inari January 19 2011, 03:36:18 UTC

Twice? You read it twice!? I am SO SO SO EXCITED that you liked it that much! \o/

:) Justice is something that, I think, tends to get portrayed as simple. This prompt gave me an excuse to play with the fact that it, like everything else, can be super complicated.

Thank you! \o/

gothirishrose January 19 2011, 04:08:37 UTC

And that's one of the reasons this is full of win particularly with respect to Poe and the tell-tale heart. You are most welcome. ;)

rushin_doll January 22 2011, 21:16:08 UTC

Finally got around to reading this.

It's a very well-constructed piece. Everything fits together, the pacing is good, and there's an interesting sense of inevitability to it. So from a craft perspective I like it a lot.

But personally it feels like it's got to be the first half of a story. I think... it's because I don't feel like I learned much about the characters? It's clearly a Sakura story (Kekashi doesn't really play a big role), but I don't feel we learn much about her. Which is... overstating things, really. We learn how Sakura's grown, and how young she still is. We see the core of her personality, the decisions she makes when the chips are down, but...

I think it's that we don't know what she's learned, and that's the part I most want to know. Which may be a personal foible, but it's why I feel like this is a part one sort of story. It's all set up to see how she grows through it.

Or something.

So get on that. Write the other half.

Sometimes I comment,
Ana

skylar_inari January 23 2011, 01:23:02 UTC

There's no other half, Ana. I'm sorry to disappoint you when you commented! But the story is, as it is, absolutely finished. What she learnt wasn't explicitly stated, but there's plenty of lessons in the story that are nested there already.

Hisoka got his vengeance, Sakura learned that appearances aren't everything, that justice isn't always dealt by the 'good' guys, and that she can carry on a mission by herself. All of that is in the story as it is. Anything being added further to it would only weaken the narrative as it stands.

<3 <3 <3 So, I'm happy and delighted that you liked it, but no, sorry, there's no more coming on this particular fic.