Drabble - Cramped Accommodations (BTVS; Present for alwaysjbj)
Title: Cramped Accommodations
Characters: Spike, Buffy (one-sided Spike/Buffy)
Timeline: Takes place mid-season 5ish (sometime pre-Crush)
Rating: PG
Word count: ~300
Author's Note: In response to my post asking all of you to ask me for a present (which you should all go do if you haven't already), alwaysjbj asked for a Buffyverse drabble about 'running/hiding from some enemy and having to depend on each other.' I don't now how much 'depending on each other' they are doing in here, but I tried. Also, the muse demanded that this be an all dialogue ficlet. My apologies. Hope you like!!
Cramped Accommodations
“Spike?”
“Yeah, Slayer?”
“You have exactly five seconds to detach your hand from my ass, before I detach it from your body.”
“Wha- as if I - it's not like I want to...to touch...your...you... In case you haven't noticed, our accommodations are a bit cramped.”
“Really, Spike? I wonder why that is? Hmm...let me think. A-ha! I've got it! Could that be because we're stuck in a coffin!?”
“To be fair, it's more of a sarcophagus....”
“Not. The. Point. Spike.”
“And whose brilliant idea was it to hid out in here in the first place!?”
“Excuse me? I wasn't the one that decided to tick off the loofa demon-”
“Lutaceous demon, love."
“Still not the point, Spike!”
“Well pardon me for having a difficult time finding it with all the yapping around it you're doin'.”
“Yapping? Yapping!? You think this is yapping?”
“Well, ye-ah. That's what the bleeding from my ears seems to indicate. I met a harpy once with a less shrill voice than you. ”
“Oh - you did not - you are such - ugh! You know what? You're lucky that I can't reach my stake right now, or I'd have a lot more elbow room, and you'd fit in a dustbuster.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can sing me the next verse to that tune once Mister Tall, Dark, and Filthy decides to relocate. You're gonna need me to help take him, and his clan, down. And you know it. 'S why you invited me along, remember?”
“Don't remind me." *sigh* "Fine. But this truce is only temporary. You do anything else to piss me off, and you're meeting the business end of Mr. Pointy.”
“...”
“Spike?”
“Yeah, Slayer?”
“I thought I said to remove your hand from my ass, not rub it in circles.”
“Yeah, well - never did take direction very well.”
“Five, four, three, two...”
~End