Challenge 02/JF, pensnest

[pensnest]

Comments

[kaethe]

I like the *boyness* of this, and how the different scents revealed the ordinary, everyday parts of their lives amidst the excitement and craziness they must have been experiencing.

[pensnest]

Thanks! I started out with the idea of the bus smelling like 'home', because home does have its own particular smell, but I didn't really work that idea in. But everyday, yes.

[turlough]

I like this very much!

Smells are such an integral part to how we experience everyday life and I think you've really captured that here. How smells shapes reality for us. And then there is touch and sight and sound, all of wich you include too, to give it form and meaning. Such a great slice of "everyday life on a bus"!

[pensnest]

Thanks! I couldn't manage to focus entirely on the one sense, it turned out to be the sort of piece that meandered from place to place, like Chris's psychic nose.

[ephemera]

Dirk!

*ahem*

You've managed to get a fair bit of action into this, as well as a lovely rich domestic tone.

[pensnest]

Funnily, I intended to bookend this piece with a reference to the bus, and how the bus smelled like home, but I couldn't figure out how to put it together. I wanted to have something happening, rather than using the 'scents evoke memories' idea. One thing about this - the adjective+adverb count skyrocketed!