Can't Look at You Any Other Way, Chris/Darren, PG-13
Title: Can't Look at You Any Other Way
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Word Count: 4,600+
Summary: They are making out, in a manner the script even goes so far as to call "heated," and Chris is really, really wishing he spent more of his time making out with people he didn't work with so he'd have some kind of frame of reference for this type of thing.
Spoilers: General s2 spoilers, discussion of future filming with entirely made up scenarios.
Author Notes: Title is from the song "Detlef Schrempf" by Band of Horses. Please don't link our fics to Glee actors!
Chris gets the script for Friday's filming on Monday, but they usually get at least two revisions and Chris has dance practice and recording to do, so he's planning to rely on his superior memory and not actually read the thing until Thursday. This proves to be a problem, however, when Darren hops up to sit beside him on the steps of his trailer on Thursday morning and says, "So, we're making out."
"What?" Chris asks, almost dropping his laptop.
"We're making out," Darren says, reaching out and helping Chris steady it back on top of his knees. "Tomorrow?" Chris knows he's giving Darren what is probably the stupidest look in all of history, and Darren starts to fidget, tugging at his shirt. "Oh shit," he says. "Did they give me a prank script? I kind of thought that dialogue read really cheesy, but I didn't want to assume, and..."
"Oh," Chris says. "Oh, I haven't read the script. Yet. Because I'm a terrible person."
"Ah," Darren says, and Chris is somewhat comforted by the fact that Darren also looks like he wants to go crawl into a hole and die. It's nice not to be the only one. "I'm just gonna..." he says, getting to his feet and shuffling kind of awkwardly. "I heard a rumor there's actual bacon today. So I'm gonna go and eat. That. The bacon. This went well."
Darren turns on his heel and Chris wants to laugh at the way Darren shakes his head a little while he's walking away, but he's still kind of focused on the whole making out thing, and he has seriously got to learn to at least skim his scripts. He hasn't been so embarrassed since that time Cory and Mark convinced him he had a shirtless shower scene with the rest of the football team right before they had to do an interview.
-
As it turns out, no one is pranking Darren. They are making out, in a manner the script even goes so far as to call "heated," and Chris is really, really wishing he spent more of his time making out with people he didn't work with so he'd have some kind of frame of reference for this type of thing. Kissing on camera is always awkward, but at least before, with Heather, it was supposed to look awkward. He'd been nervous, but they'd spent the majority of filming that scene laughing back and forth as she ran her hand up his thigh. His scene with Max wasn't supposed to be anything but shocking and sad, and Chris had been so deep in Kurt mode that he barely even remembered what the actual kiss was just like, he just remembered the fear and the anger that came after it.
He's not entirely sure he can pull off "heated," is the thing. Much less with all of a day to prepare because he was a moron who hadn't read the script. Chris is in the middle of considering just how sad it would be to turn to youtube for kissing tips when someone knocks on his door.
"Thank goodness," he sighs to himself. He could use the distraction right now. "Come in," he calls, figuring it's Lea or maybe Amber. It's Darren.
"So, uh," he says, lingering in front of the door. "Sorry if that was weird. Earlier. I didn't mean to be weird, it just kind of happens sometimes because I'm me."
Chris laughs, high-pitched and a little hysterical, but at least it makes Darren smile at him and takes care of some of the tension in the room.
"No, it's fine," he says, swinging his feet down to the floor and motioning at the couch. "I just hadn't read the script, is all, and I'm not exactly the smoothest at the on-screen romance stuff."
"Dude," Darren says, laughing as he sits down, "think about who you're talking to here. You're going to look like Don Juan compared to me, trust me."
"Don Juan?" Chris asks, smirking. "What a timely reference."
"Well give me a modern day comparison, then," Darren says. "Because all I'm coming up with is, like, Justin Beiber, and now I kind of want to shoot myself."
"Oh gross," Chris says. "I don't know! There are heartthrobs around who aren't twelve-years-old, Darren. Justin Timberlake! He's hot."
"He was hot as a singer," Darren says. "Now he's an actor with a buzz cut and the magic is gone."
"Fine," Chris says, rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically. "I'll accept Don Juan until JT grows his hair back out and makes another record, but I'm not happy about it."
"Who is?" Darren says, smiling brightly at him, and it takes Chris a second to remember what it was they were talking about in the first place, because Darren has a really, really nice smile. It's not that Chris has a crush. Crushing on straight guys is stupid enough, and crushing on straight guys you work with is doubly stupid, but it's kind of a unique situation. Having a passing crush on the cute guy who wrote the awesome Harry Potter musical and then suddenly playing his boyfriend on-screen is kind of a weird thing to wrap your head around, and it doesn't help when the cute guy who wrote the awesome Harry Potter musical is smiling all the time like a big stupid smiley person, and oh god, Darren is saying something, and Chris is sitting here having a mental nervous breakdown about his smile.
"What was that?" he asks, shaking his head a little in an effort to clear it.
"I said that this is my first on-screen kiss that's going to be seen by more than some random youtube users," Darren repeats. "At least you've kissed people on the show before, you'll be fine."
"Hah," Chris says, "yeah, you know Kurt, a regular kissing machine."
"I have it on good authority you rocked Heather's world," Darren says, smirking at him.
"Heather is not a good authority," Chris says, rolling his eyes.
"You're going to break her heart," Darren says, shaking his head sadly. "Don't worry though, I'm a decent kisser. I've got references. I'm sure they weren't all lying to spare my feelings. If they were, though, you have to tell me. I can't go on living a lie."
Chris laughs a little, cringing inwardly when he feels his cheeks start to flush a little. "Well, at least one of us is," he says, going for airy and self-deprecating but ending up at awkward and kind of sad.
"Oh come on," Darren says, turning toward him and swatting at his knee, "you can't be scared to ask for feedback. Otherwise you'll never know if the person you were kissing actually enjoyed it or is going to go tell all their friends that you kiss like a dead fish."
"That's a lovely image," Chris says, wishing desperately that they could get off of this topic.
"Not that I got that feedback in real life or anything," Darren says quickly. "And if I did it's not my fault. Who on earth is actually a good kisser at 14?"
"I wouldn't know," Chris says, trying to keep himself from sounding as arch as he does.
"Huh?" Darren asks.
"I didn't do a lot of kissing in high school," Chris says, trying to be as vague as possible.
"Hey, no shame there," Darren says. "That just means by the time you got around to it the people you were kissing knew what to do!"
"You'd think," Chris says, rolling his eyes and trying to sound nonchalant.
"Oh, awesome," Darren says, grinning. "I love bad kissing stories, come on. It'll help us bond and make the actual kissing less awkward."
Chris wants to murder him.
"I don't have a ton of off-screen kissing experience," he says, a little too quickly to come off as casual as he wanted it to sound. "And believe it or not, a random guy you meet in a club who decides to kiss you after five minutes of stilted conversation about the dance remix of Tik-Tok that's playing isn't always a world changer."
"Ouch," Darren says, flinching a little. "Too much tongue?"
Chris takes it back, he loves Darren. Darren is kind and generous and not making him feel like a loser about his one and only off-screen kissing experience.
"He licked me," Chris says, shuddering a little at the memory. "It was like kissing an over-enthusiastic llama."
"The first girl I kissed," Darren says, wincing in sympathy, "just kind of sucked at my face. Literally. I spent a month or two thinking that was how kissing worked and not understanding the big deal until a friend clued me in."
Chris laughs, relieved to find the smile he gives Darren genuine. "Maybe I should be glad I didn't learn to kiss in high school," he says.
"I'm telling you, you have the right idea," Darren says. "Besides, it's not that big a deal. It gets easier the more you do it, and it's pretty easy to just kind of follow along and do what the other person is doing. I promise I won't lick your face."
"Yeah, but I'm guessing you didn't have to learn to kiss on camera," Chris says, cringing a little once he realizes what he just said.
"You don't know," Darren says, grinning. "I could have been a really kinky 14-year-old."
Chris smacks him with one of the throw pillows on the sofa, laughing when Darren makes an affronted face.
"I'll have you know," Darren says, "there are at least five teenage girls who would kill to be in your shoes!"
"You should start reading more of your own press," Chris informs him. "Your mental math is way off."
"Fine," Darren says, tossing the pillow back to Chris and standing up. "Ten, then. I've got to get to makeup, I'll see you later?"
"Yeah," Chris says, smiling. "Have fun getting beautiful."
"I resent the implication that I'm not already beautiful!" Darren calls over his shoulder on his way down the steps.
-
Chris gets called to set to film a quick pick-up scene with Darren, and they end up getting into a very intense conversation about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while they wait, and before Chris even realizes what's happening, Darren is out of breath, bent over his knees laughing.
"What?" Chris says.
"Do you want to come back to my trailer and see my sais!" Darren says breathlessly.
"Well I have sais in my trailer," Chris says, feeling himself start to get defensive.
"I know, I know, it's just, that's got to be like the best - or maybe worst - pick-up line ever, that's incredible."
"I hate you," Chris says, smirking reluctantly when he can't hold it back anymore. "Now I'll never be able to actually use that as a pick-up line."
"And I'm genuinely sorry for that," Darren says, "because seriously. Incredible."
-
"Okay," Darren says from behind the couch. "That was actually really impressive."
"It's over now," Chris says. "You can come out from behind the couch. I don't understand why everyone has that reaction."
"Probably because 'I learned it on the internet' is not the confidence-inspiring phrase you think it is," Darren says, tumbling over the back of the couch.
"Whatever, I'm awesome," Chris says, rolling his eyes and putting his sais back in their case.
"You are," Darren says, and it doesn't even sound like he's making fun of Chris. "Which is why I don't understand why you're so nervous about the making out."
"Because knives are less scary," Chris sighs, dropping to the couch. "Can't we just forget about it until it's time to do it? The whole Single Ladies thing has taught me that humiliation is less stressful if you don't live in fear of it all the time and just accept that life is one series of bad pelvic thrusts after another."
"That's beautiful," Darren says, fake sniffling and wiping exaggeratedly at the corner of his eye. "But seriously, if you're that nervous about it, why don't we just practice?"
"Excuse me?" Chris asks, crossing his arms over his chest, because, what?
"We can practice," Darren says, like he's talking about a dance routine and not a make-out scene.
"Yes, I'm sure you just can't wait to make out with me any more than you have to," Chris says, just in case there's a chance this is some really weird joke.
"It's not like it would be the first time. Well, I mean, it would be the first time I've made out with you, but I'm a theater kid who grew up in San Francisco, Chris. I've kissed guys before."
"Huh," Chris says, his mind immediately going to the worst possible place. "Wait, wait, did you ever kiss--"
"Please don't say one of my friend's names," Darren says. "Please don't."
"Oh, fine," Chris says, sighing, "but you should know that there are rumors. Read your youtube comments."
Darren laughs, and then grabs at Chris's wrist and pulls him down to the couch. "Hey," he says, looking at Chris with big, earnest eyes. "We don't have to. I was a fan of the show before I ever got this job, you know, and trust me, unless you, like, try to make-out with my eyeball or go all Llama Guy on me and just lick my face, your fans are going to go crazy. Some of them might even like it if you did lick my face, but the point is, there's no pressure either way."
"Why would I kiss your eyeball?" Chris asks. "That's disgusting."
"I'm just saying," Darren says, and he's still holding on to Chris's wrist, and Chris is doing his absolute best not to blush.
Chris's phone buzzes, and he grabs for it gratefully. "Lea says craft services just put fresh food out," Chris says, standing up. "Come on, you can at least buy me dinner before you try to proposition me again."
"Craft services is free," Darren says, grinning up at him before getting to his feet.
"So? I'm a cheap date," Chris says over his shoulder as he opens the door. "Don't complain."
-
They don't finish up with dance rehearsal until well past midnight, and Chris is so worn out that all he can think about is his bed, at least until Darren walks by on his way out and grabs at Chris's hand, saying, "Hey. Offer still stands, okay?" and Chris nods and smiles and continues walking toward his car. It's not until he's unlocking the door to his apartment that he realizes what Darren was talking about, and he drops his keys three times before he manages to get the stupid door open.
Whatever. Darren was just being nice because that's what he does, and it's just a scene like any other scene Kurt has with Blaine. He'll just make big moon eyes and smile a lot and swoon, only this time he'll actually kiss Blaine at the end of it. Blaine. Not Darren. There is no need to think about kissing Darren.
-
Chris can't stop thinking about kissing Darren.
They're filming a scene, grinning and flirting and fluttering eyelashes all over the place, and Chris can't stop thinking about it. Which works great for his smitten Kurt characterization, but by the third time Chris flubs a line that he should have gotten in one take, it's getting out of hand. He feels like any second someone's going to tell him to stop glancing down at Darren's lips, no matter how well it works for the scene. He's so flustered from just thinking about it that Chris is starting to dread what's going to happen later when they finally do kiss on camera. In front of everyone. For at least a dozen takes.
"Okay," he tells Darren, as soon as Brad tells them they're good to go and he'll need them back on set in two hours for the kissing. "You should meet me in my trailer in fifteen minutes."
Darren's eyebrows go up and he opens his mouth, but Chris glares at him. "No. Shh. No talking. Goodbye."
Darren grins at him, and Chris is very, very proud of himself for managing not to trip over his own feet until he's well out of Darren's sight.
-
Chris pulls off his Dalton blazer and rests it over the back of the chair in his trailer, telling himself it's just so he doesn't spill diet Coke on it and not because he's so nervous he can't think straight. He tugs at his tie a little too, loosening it like that will ease the way his stomach is doing flip-flops, and is thankfully saved by a knock on his trailer.
Darren's standing there in his stupid pink sunglasses with his blazer over his shoulder, smiling big and warm and totally unassuming, and Chris doesn't know if that makes his nerves better or worse.
"Should I have brought flowers?" Darren asks after a second of just standing there, and Chris laughs, finally stepping aside to let Darren in.
"Sorry, I'm just..."
"Blinded by my animal magnetism?"
"Distracted," Chris finishes, rolling his eyes at Darren as he sets his blazer on top of Chris's and folds his sunglasses over the lapel.
"Sorry, couldn't resist," Darren says, still grinning and sitting down on the couch. He pats the space next to him and Chris thinks he can feel his face heating up as he sits down. He crosses his legs before realizing it and immediately uncrosses them, and Darren's still just looking at him.
"Okay," Chris says, because if he doesn't do this now he never will. "Your offer. We're shooting in a couple of hours but I'd feel better just-- not going into this blind, you know?"
"No, hey, that's totally why I offered," Darren says, still smiling warmly and putting his hand on Chris's knee, and Chris is so busy thinking not gay not gay not gay that he almost misses it when Darren continues.
"Just think of it like if we had to film, I don't know-- juggling together. It'd make sense to practice for that too, right?"
"Oh my god, you are such a dork," Chris says, but he's laughing as he says it.
"What? You don't think Blaine's an expert juggler? I'm hurt, Chris," Darren replies, pretending to look all offended, and Chris takes a quick breath and leans in before he loses his nerve, grabbing Darren's face and kissing him. It lasts for maybe a few seconds but it feels like minutes of Chris just sitting there, Darren's face warm beneath his hands and his lips soft where they're pressed against Chris's.
Chris finally pulls back, blinking his eyes open slowly the same time Darren does and wondering if Darren's eyes have always been that green.
"Um. Was the face grabbing too much?" Chris asks softly, dropping his hands back into his lap. He's scooting back on the couch and maybe starting to panic a little when Darren doesn't answer him right away. "Oh god, was I that awful?"
Darren shakes his head, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, and it might actually be the hottest thing Chris has ever seen. "No, hey, no. You were great. That was great, the hands thing totally worked," Darren says slowly, his voice much lower and his expression kind of dazed in a ridiculously hot way. Chris thinks, I did that, and then immediately has to go back to his not gay mantra.
"So that was okay? No pointers at all? Because I'm pretty sure Llama Guy had better moves than I do."
Darren laughs, and Chris feels marginally better to see him smiling again, even if his heart is still beating way too fast in his chest when Darren scoots back in close to Chris. "I wouldn't know about Llama Guy, but that really wasn't bad. Kissing is just-- it's more than just touching lips. Can I?" Darren's eyes drop pointedly down to Chris's mouth and Chris nods slowly, smiling and leaning back a little as Darren leans in until his hand is sliding behind the small of Chris's back, just barely supporting him. "Hey, don't be afraid to get close. It's just kissing," he says with a smile that makes Chris's breath catch in his throat, tilting his head to press his lips to Chris's.
Darren closes his eyes, his eyelashes so long they tickle as they brush Chris's cheeks, and Chris closes his eyes too, following Darren's lead and trying to stay focused on the kissing and not Darren's hand on his back, wide and warm through Chris's white button-down. Darren moves his lips slowly with Chris's, trading close-mouthed kisses that start to get firmer and firmer until Chris is leaning back far enough against Darren's hand that it throws off his balance and he falls back onto the couch. Before he can say anything, his eyes flying open in embarrassment, Darren is following him down, leaning over Chris, kissing Chris even as he smiles. This time the kissing is even harder, more insistent, Darren's lips starting to part slightly against his, and suddenly the mood of the kissing shifts, going from gentle and exploratory to something hotter and more urgent. There's a sudden and entirely inappropriate tug low in Chris's stomach when Darren's tongue brushes against Chris's lips, and Chris opens his mouth under Darren's, letting Darren inside. Darren's breathing hard against his mouth and Chris isn't far behind, his breath hitching when Darren tightens his fingers around the side of Chris's waist.
Darren manages to move in closer without breaking the kiss, leaning down far enough that he's almost lying on top of Chris, but thankfully not enough that he'd be able to feel what has to be the most awkward and seriously inappropriate boner ever. Chris feels a little overwhelmed, being underneath Darren like this, and at some point this went from practicing for a scene to kissing deep and intense in a way that's turning Chris on so much he can't even think. He's so caught up in it, in the way Darren's tongue brushes against his and the sweet drag of Darren's teeth over his lip, that Chris breathes out a soft moan against Darren's lips and immediately regrets it when Darren pulls back, panting as he scrambles to sit up.
"Holy shit," Darren says, and his voice is low and rough in a way that makes Chris's stomach flutter. Chris lets out a shaky breath, trying to get a hold of himself so he doesn't actually do what his brain is telling him to do and climb into Darren's lap and grind against him until he comes in his pants. That is a horrible idea, and it's not going to happen because Darren is not gay and Chris desperately wishes he could make himself stop thinking about it.
Chris doesn't even realizes that he's been staring blankly at Darren's lips until Darren says, "Chris, fuck, I am so sorry. That got kind of out of hand, I swear I didn't mean to... fuck, I don't know," Darren says with real sadness in his voice as he reaches out and tugs Chris back up.
Chris is flushed, still breathing fast and a little rough, and he really isn't planning on it when he asks, "Why did you stop?"
"Because--" Darren starts, pausing and furrowing his eyebrows. "We were just supposed to practice for Kurt and Blaine's kissing, I wasn't supposed to lose control and just--"
"Lose control?" Chris echoes, and he's definitely blushing, oh god.
"I'm so sorry," Darren says again. "That was completely out of line. Are you okay?" Darren asks, sounding so earnest and concerned and Chris can't help grinning a little as he shakes his head.
"I'm fine, Darren, seriously. But I have to say, for someone who doesn't make a habit of kissing boys, you are really good at it," Chris finishes, and Darren laughs.
"Well, I told you," Darren says, making a goofy face and giving Chris a mock bow, "I'm a pro."
"Sorry if that was, like, awkward," Chris says suddenly, fidgeting a little. "I didn't mean to-- you're right, though, you're a good kisser. You can add me to your list of references."
"Yeah," Darren says, reaching his hand up to drag it through his hair and then grimacing when he realizes it's still gelled down. "Well, for the record, if you ever need your own references, I'm also happy to oblige."
"Oh, come on," Chris says, laughing just a little too loud, still feeling awkward and nervous and unfortunately hard. "You said you've kissed other boys before, they must have been better than a fumbling virgin," Chris says, grimacing as soon as the words are out of his mouth. "Oh my goodness," he says, flushing. "Let's pretend I didn't say that."
Darren just laughs, smiling at Chris bright and wide in that way that makes Chris a little weak in the knees sometimes. "I have kissed other boys," Darren says, his face flushing just a little bit, "but I've never actually, like, enjoyed it. Or gotten into it. I mean it was always fun, but... maybe I should stop talking too," he says awkwardly, scrunching his eyes up and looking down at his feet.
Chris takes a deep breath, trying to think of something to say to break the silence, some kind of stupid joke that Darren would appreciate, and he's seriously considering commenting on the weather when someone knocks on Chris's trailer door, shouting out a brusque, "Ten minutes to set, Chris. Is Darren in there with you?"
"Yeah," Chris says, entirely too quick, his voice squeaking embarrassingly. "Yes," he repeats, louder, and at least the awkwardness has mostly taken care of his hard-on, so getting to his feet isn't an exercise in total humiliation. "Stacey's going to murder you, you know," he says, shrugging on his Dalton blazer and taking in Darren's mussed hair.
"I know," Darren says, wincing as he slips on his own blazer. "She already complains about having to go through an entire bottle of gel every day. Imagine what she would have thought if I hadn't gotten that haircut," he says, turning and smiling hesitantly at Chris.
"Oh god, could you picture her face if you'd shown up with your Potter hair?" Chris asks, laughing, surprised to find that it comes out natural and easy, the way it usually is around Darren.
"She might have tackled me and given me a buzz cut on the spot," Darren says, holding the trailer door open for Chris. "That would have been unfortunate."
"Oh, I don't know," Chris says, grinning up at Darren from the ground as Darren starts down the steps. "You've got the bone structure for it."
Darren laughs, and Chris can't quite tell if he imagines the way his cheeks go a little pink as he ducks his head and grins. "C'mon," Darren says, reaching out and linking his arm with Chris's. "It's time to go fulfill a few million dreams. We can't keep our fans waiting."
"Of course not," Chris says, grinning and falling into step with Darren.
"You know," Darren says, "depending on how positive the response is to the kissing, we might end up with a quasi-sex scene soon."
"Stop it with your pervy wishful thinking, Criss," Chris says, rolling his eyes and trying not to linger on the images the mere suggestion puts into his head.
"I'm just saying, is all," Darren says, grinning at him. "Think about how fun practicing for that's gonna be."
"Wow," Chris says, yanking his arm out of Darren's grip and shoving at his shoulder. Darren doesn't even stumble, and Chris glowers at him before breaking out in a reluctant grin when Darren smiles imploring at him. "Come on already," he says, rolling his eyes and rounding the corner into the Dalton Common Room.
"Just remember," Darren says from behind him, bracing his hand on Chris's shoulder and stretching up so he can whisper in Chris's ear, "no face licking."
Author: skintightsocks
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Word Count: 4,600+
Summary: They are making out, in a manner the script even goes so far as to call "heated," and Chris is really, really wishing he spent more of his time making out with people he didn't work with so he'd have some kind of frame of reference for this type of thing.
Spoilers: General s2 spoilers, discussion of future filming with entirely made up scenarios.
Author Notes: Title is from the song "Detlef Schrempf" by Band of Horses. Please don't link our fics to Glee actors!
Chris gets the script for Friday's filming on Monday, but they usually get at least two revisions and Chris has dance practice and recording to do, so he's planning to rely on his superior memory and not actually read the thing until Thursday. This proves to be a problem, however, when Darren hops up to sit beside him on the steps of his trailer on Thursday morning and says, "So, we're making out."
"What?" Chris asks, almost dropping his laptop.
"We're making out," Darren says, reaching out and helping Chris steady it back on top of his knees. "Tomorrow?" Chris knows he's giving Darren what is probably the stupidest look in all of history, and Darren starts to fidget, tugging at his shirt. "Oh shit," he says. "Did they give me a prank script? I kind of thought that dialogue read really cheesy, but I didn't want to assume, and..."
"Oh," Chris says. "Oh, I haven't read the script. Yet. Because I'm a terrible person."
"Ah," Darren says, and Chris is somewhat comforted by the fact that Darren also looks like he wants to go crawl into a hole and die. It's nice not to be the only one. "I'm just gonna..." he says, getting to his feet and shuffling kind of awkwardly. "I heard a rumor there's actual bacon today. So I'm gonna go and eat. That. The bacon. This went well."
Darren turns on his heel and Chris wants to laugh at the way Darren shakes his head a little while he's walking away, but he's still kind of focused on the whole making out thing, and he has seriously got to learn to at least skim his scripts. He hasn't been so embarrassed since that time Cory and Mark convinced him he had a shirtless shower scene with the rest of the football team right before they had to do an interview.
-
As it turns out, no one is pranking Darren. They are making out, in a manner the script even goes so far as to call "heated," and Chris is really, really wishing he spent more of his time making out with people he didn't work with so he'd have some kind of frame of reference for this type of thing. Kissing on camera is always awkward, but at least before, with Heather, it was supposed to look awkward. He'd been nervous, but they'd spent the majority of filming that scene laughing back and forth as she ran her hand up his thigh. His scene with Max wasn't supposed to be anything but shocking and sad, and Chris had been so deep in Kurt mode that he barely even remembered what the actual kiss was just like, he just remembered the fear and the anger that came after it.
He's not entirely sure he can pull off "heated," is the thing. Much less with all of a day to prepare because he was a moron who hadn't read the script. Chris is in the middle of considering just how sad it would be to turn to youtube for kissing tips when someone knocks on his door.
"Thank goodness," he sighs to himself. He could use the distraction right now. "Come in," he calls, figuring it's Lea or maybe Amber. It's Darren.
"So, uh," he says, lingering in front of the door. "Sorry if that was weird. Earlier. I didn't mean to be weird, it just kind of happens sometimes because I'm me."
Chris laughs, high-pitched and a little hysterical, but at least it makes Darren smile at him and takes care of some of the tension in the room.
"No, it's fine," he says, swinging his feet down to the floor and motioning at the couch. "I just hadn't read the script, is all, and I'm not exactly the smoothest at the on-screen romance stuff."
"Dude," Darren says, laughing as he sits down, "think about who you're talking to here. You're going to look like Don Juan compared to me, trust me."
"Don Juan?" Chris asks, smirking. "What a timely reference."
"Well give me a modern day comparison, then," Darren says. "Because all I'm coming up with is, like, Justin Beiber, and now I kind of want to shoot myself."
"Oh gross," Chris says. "I don't know! There are heartthrobs around who aren't twelve-years-old, Darren. Justin Timberlake! He's hot."
"He was hot as a singer," Darren says. "Now he's an actor with a buzz cut and the magic is gone."
"Fine," Chris says, rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically. "I'll accept Don Juan until JT grows his hair back out and makes another record, but I'm not happy about it."
"Who is?" Darren says, smiling brightly at him, and it takes Chris a second to remember what it was they were talking about in the first place, because Darren has a really, really nice smile. It's not that Chris has a crush. Crushing on straight guys is stupid enough, and crushing on straight guys you work with is doubly stupid, but it's kind of a unique situation. Having a passing crush on the cute guy who wrote the awesome Harry Potter musical and then suddenly playing his boyfriend on-screen is kind of a weird thing to wrap your head around, and it doesn't help when the cute guy who wrote the awesome Harry Potter musical is smiling all the time like a big stupid smiley person, and oh god, Darren is saying something, and Chris is sitting here having a mental nervous breakdown about his smile.
"What was that?" he asks, shaking his head a little in an effort to clear it.
"I said that this is my first on-screen kiss that's going to be seen by more than some random youtube users," Darren repeats. "At least you've kissed people on the show before, you'll be fine."
"Hah," Chris says, "yeah, you know Kurt, a regular kissing machine."
"I have it on good authority you rocked Heather's world," Darren says, smirking at him.
"Heather is not a good authority," Chris says, rolling his eyes.
"You're going to break her heart," Darren says, shaking his head sadly. "Don't worry though, I'm a decent kisser. I've got references. I'm sure they weren't all lying to spare my feelings. If they were, though, you have to tell me. I can't go on living a lie."
Chris laughs a little, cringing inwardly when he feels his cheeks start to flush a little. "Well, at least one of us is," he says, going for airy and self-deprecating but ending up at awkward and kind of sad.
"Oh come on," Darren says, turning toward him and swatting at his knee, "you can't be scared to ask for feedback. Otherwise you'll never know if the person you were kissing actually enjoyed it or is going to go tell all their friends that you kiss like a dead fish."
"That's a lovely image," Chris says, wishing desperately that they could get off of this topic.
"Not that I got that feedback in real life or anything," Darren says quickly. "And if I did it's not my fault. Who on earth is actually a good kisser at 14?"
"I wouldn't know," Chris says, trying to keep himself from sounding as arch as he does.
"Huh?" Darren asks.
"I didn't do a lot of kissing in high school," Chris says, trying to be as vague as possible.
"Hey, no shame there," Darren says. "That just means by the time you got around to it the people you were kissing knew what to do!"
"You'd think," Chris says, rolling his eyes and trying to sound nonchalant.
"Oh, awesome," Darren says, grinning. "I love bad kissing stories, come on. It'll help us bond and make the actual kissing less awkward."
Chris wants to murder him.
"I don't have a ton of off-screen kissing experience," he says, a little too quickly to come off as casual as he wanted it to sound. "And believe it or not, a random guy you meet in a club who decides to kiss you after five minutes of stilted conversation about the dance remix of Tik-Tok that's playing isn't always a world changer."
"Ouch," Darren says, flinching a little. "Too much tongue?"
Chris takes it back, he loves Darren. Darren is kind and generous and not making him feel like a loser about his one and only off-screen kissing experience.
"He licked me," Chris says, shuddering a little at the memory. "It was like kissing an over-enthusiastic llama."
"The first girl I kissed," Darren says, wincing in sympathy, "just kind of sucked at my face. Literally. I spent a month or two thinking that was how kissing worked and not understanding the big deal until a friend clued me in."
Chris laughs, relieved to find the smile he gives Darren genuine. "Maybe I should be glad I didn't learn to kiss in high school," he says.
"I'm telling you, you have the right idea," Darren says. "Besides, it's not that big a deal. It gets easier the more you do it, and it's pretty easy to just kind of follow along and do what the other person is doing. I promise I won't lick your face."
"Yeah, but I'm guessing you didn't have to learn to kiss on camera," Chris says, cringing a little once he realizes what he just said.
"You don't know," Darren says, grinning. "I could have been a really kinky 14-year-old."
Chris smacks him with one of the throw pillows on the sofa, laughing when Darren makes an affronted face.
"I'll have you know," Darren says, "there are at least five teenage girls who would kill to be in your shoes!"
"You should start reading more of your own press," Chris informs him. "Your mental math is way off."
"Fine," Darren says, tossing the pillow back to Chris and standing up. "Ten, then. I've got to get to makeup, I'll see you later?"
"Yeah," Chris says, smiling. "Have fun getting beautiful."
"I resent the implication that I'm not already beautiful!" Darren calls over his shoulder on his way down the steps.
-
Chris gets called to set to film a quick pick-up scene with Darren, and they end up getting into a very intense conversation about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while they wait, and before Chris even realizes what's happening, Darren is out of breath, bent over his knees laughing.
"What?" Chris says.
"Do you want to come back to my trailer and see my sais!" Darren says breathlessly.
"Well I have sais in my trailer," Chris says, feeling himself start to get defensive.
"I know, I know, it's just, that's got to be like the best - or maybe worst - pick-up line ever, that's incredible."
"I hate you," Chris says, smirking reluctantly when he can't hold it back anymore. "Now I'll never be able to actually use that as a pick-up line."
"And I'm genuinely sorry for that," Darren says, "because seriously. Incredible."
-
"Okay," Darren says from behind the couch. "That was actually really impressive."
"It's over now," Chris says. "You can come out from behind the couch. I don't understand why everyone has that reaction."
"Probably because 'I learned it on the internet' is not the confidence-inspiring phrase you think it is," Darren says, tumbling over the back of the couch.
"Whatever, I'm awesome," Chris says, rolling his eyes and putting his sais back in their case.
"You are," Darren says, and it doesn't even sound like he's making fun of Chris. "Which is why I don't understand why you're so nervous about the making out."
"Because knives are less scary," Chris sighs, dropping to the couch. "Can't we just forget about it until it's time to do it? The whole Single Ladies thing has taught me that humiliation is less stressful if you don't live in fear of it all the time and just accept that life is one series of bad pelvic thrusts after another."
"That's beautiful," Darren says, fake sniffling and wiping exaggeratedly at the corner of his eye. "But seriously, if you're that nervous about it, why don't we just practice?"
"Excuse me?" Chris asks, crossing his arms over his chest, because, what?
"We can practice," Darren says, like he's talking about a dance routine and not a make-out scene.
"Yes, I'm sure you just can't wait to make out with me any more than you have to," Chris says, just in case there's a chance this is some really weird joke.
"It's not like it would be the first time. Well, I mean, it would be the first time I've made out with you, but I'm a theater kid who grew up in San Francisco, Chris. I've kissed guys before."
"Huh," Chris says, his mind immediately going to the worst possible place. "Wait, wait, did you ever kiss--"
"Please don't say one of my friend's names," Darren says. "Please don't."
"Oh, fine," Chris says, sighing, "but you should know that there are rumors. Read your youtube comments."
Darren laughs, and then grabs at Chris's wrist and pulls him down to the couch. "Hey," he says, looking at Chris with big, earnest eyes. "We don't have to. I was a fan of the show before I ever got this job, you know, and trust me, unless you, like, try to make-out with my eyeball or go all Llama Guy on me and just lick my face, your fans are going to go crazy. Some of them might even like it if you did lick my face, but the point is, there's no pressure either way."
"Why would I kiss your eyeball?" Chris asks. "That's disgusting."
"I'm just saying," Darren says, and he's still holding on to Chris's wrist, and Chris is doing his absolute best not to blush.
Chris's phone buzzes, and he grabs for it gratefully. "Lea says craft services just put fresh food out," Chris says, standing up. "Come on, you can at least buy me dinner before you try to proposition me again."
"Craft services is free," Darren says, grinning up at him before getting to his feet.
"So? I'm a cheap date," Chris says over his shoulder as he opens the door. "Don't complain."
-
They don't finish up with dance rehearsal until well past midnight, and Chris is so worn out that all he can think about is his bed, at least until Darren walks by on his way out and grabs at Chris's hand, saying, "Hey. Offer still stands, okay?" and Chris nods and smiles and continues walking toward his car. It's not until he's unlocking the door to his apartment that he realizes what Darren was talking about, and he drops his keys three times before he manages to get the stupid door open.
Whatever. Darren was just being nice because that's what he does, and it's just a scene like any other scene Kurt has with Blaine. He'll just make big moon eyes and smile a lot and swoon, only this time he'll actually kiss Blaine at the end of it. Blaine. Not Darren. There is no need to think about kissing Darren.
-
Chris can't stop thinking about kissing Darren.
They're filming a scene, grinning and flirting and fluttering eyelashes all over the place, and Chris can't stop thinking about it. Which works great for his smitten Kurt characterization, but by the third time Chris flubs a line that he should have gotten in one take, it's getting out of hand. He feels like any second someone's going to tell him to stop glancing down at Darren's lips, no matter how well it works for the scene. He's so flustered from just thinking about it that Chris is starting to dread what's going to happen later when they finally do kiss on camera. In front of everyone. For at least a dozen takes.
"Okay," he tells Darren, as soon as Brad tells them they're good to go and he'll need them back on set in two hours for the kissing. "You should meet me in my trailer in fifteen minutes."
Darren's eyebrows go up and he opens his mouth, but Chris glares at him. "No. Shh. No talking. Goodbye."
Darren grins at him, and Chris is very, very proud of himself for managing not to trip over his own feet until he's well out of Darren's sight.
-
Chris pulls off his Dalton blazer and rests it over the back of the chair in his trailer, telling himself it's just so he doesn't spill diet Coke on it and not because he's so nervous he can't think straight. He tugs at his tie a little too, loosening it like that will ease the way his stomach is doing flip-flops, and is thankfully saved by a knock on his trailer.
Darren's standing there in his stupid pink sunglasses with his blazer over his shoulder, smiling big and warm and totally unassuming, and Chris doesn't know if that makes his nerves better or worse.
"Should I have brought flowers?" Darren asks after a second of just standing there, and Chris laughs, finally stepping aside to let Darren in.
"Sorry, I'm just..."
"Blinded by my animal magnetism?"
"Distracted," Chris finishes, rolling his eyes at Darren as he sets his blazer on top of Chris's and folds his sunglasses over the lapel.
"Sorry, couldn't resist," Darren says, still grinning and sitting down on the couch. He pats the space next to him and Chris thinks he can feel his face heating up as he sits down. He crosses his legs before realizing it and immediately uncrosses them, and Darren's still just looking at him.
"Okay," Chris says, because if he doesn't do this now he never will. "Your offer. We're shooting in a couple of hours but I'd feel better just-- not going into this blind, you know?"
"No, hey, that's totally why I offered," Darren says, still smiling warmly and putting his hand on Chris's knee, and Chris is so busy thinking not gay not gay not gay that he almost misses it when Darren continues.
"Just think of it like if we had to film, I don't know-- juggling together. It'd make sense to practice for that too, right?"
"Oh my god, you are such a dork," Chris says, but he's laughing as he says it.
"What? You don't think Blaine's an expert juggler? I'm hurt, Chris," Darren replies, pretending to look all offended, and Chris takes a quick breath and leans in before he loses his nerve, grabbing Darren's face and kissing him. It lasts for maybe a few seconds but it feels like minutes of Chris just sitting there, Darren's face warm beneath his hands and his lips soft where they're pressed against Chris's.
Chris finally pulls back, blinking his eyes open slowly the same time Darren does and wondering if Darren's eyes have always been that green.
"Um. Was the face grabbing too much?" Chris asks softly, dropping his hands back into his lap. He's scooting back on the couch and maybe starting to panic a little when Darren doesn't answer him right away. "Oh god, was I that awful?"
Darren shakes his head, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, and it might actually be the hottest thing Chris has ever seen. "No, hey, no. You were great. That was great, the hands thing totally worked," Darren says slowly, his voice much lower and his expression kind of dazed in a ridiculously hot way. Chris thinks, I did that, and then immediately has to go back to his not gay mantra.
"So that was okay? No pointers at all? Because I'm pretty sure Llama Guy had better moves than I do."
Darren laughs, and Chris feels marginally better to see him smiling again, even if his heart is still beating way too fast in his chest when Darren scoots back in close to Chris. "I wouldn't know about Llama Guy, but that really wasn't bad. Kissing is just-- it's more than just touching lips. Can I?" Darren's eyes drop pointedly down to Chris's mouth and Chris nods slowly, smiling and leaning back a little as Darren leans in until his hand is sliding behind the small of Chris's back, just barely supporting him. "Hey, don't be afraid to get close. It's just kissing," he says with a smile that makes Chris's breath catch in his throat, tilting his head to press his lips to Chris's.
Darren closes his eyes, his eyelashes so long they tickle as they brush Chris's cheeks, and Chris closes his eyes too, following Darren's lead and trying to stay focused on the kissing and not Darren's hand on his back, wide and warm through Chris's white button-down. Darren moves his lips slowly with Chris's, trading close-mouthed kisses that start to get firmer and firmer until Chris is leaning back far enough against Darren's hand that it throws off his balance and he falls back onto the couch. Before he can say anything, his eyes flying open in embarrassment, Darren is following him down, leaning over Chris, kissing Chris even as he smiles. This time the kissing is even harder, more insistent, Darren's lips starting to part slightly against his, and suddenly the mood of the kissing shifts, going from gentle and exploratory to something hotter and more urgent. There's a sudden and entirely inappropriate tug low in Chris's stomach when Darren's tongue brushes against Chris's lips, and Chris opens his mouth under Darren's, letting Darren inside. Darren's breathing hard against his mouth and Chris isn't far behind, his breath hitching when Darren tightens his fingers around the side of Chris's waist.
Darren manages to move in closer without breaking the kiss, leaning down far enough that he's almost lying on top of Chris, but thankfully not enough that he'd be able to feel what has to be the most awkward and seriously inappropriate boner ever. Chris feels a little overwhelmed, being underneath Darren like this, and at some point this went from practicing for a scene to kissing deep and intense in a way that's turning Chris on so much he can't even think. He's so caught up in it, in the way Darren's tongue brushes against his and the sweet drag of Darren's teeth over his lip, that Chris breathes out a soft moan against Darren's lips and immediately regrets it when Darren pulls back, panting as he scrambles to sit up.
"Holy shit," Darren says, and his voice is low and rough in a way that makes Chris's stomach flutter. Chris lets out a shaky breath, trying to get a hold of himself so he doesn't actually do what his brain is telling him to do and climb into Darren's lap and grind against him until he comes in his pants. That is a horrible idea, and it's not going to happen because Darren is not gay and Chris desperately wishes he could make himself stop thinking about it.
Chris doesn't even realizes that he's been staring blankly at Darren's lips until Darren says, "Chris, fuck, I am so sorry. That got kind of out of hand, I swear I didn't mean to... fuck, I don't know," Darren says with real sadness in his voice as he reaches out and tugs Chris back up.
Chris is flushed, still breathing fast and a little rough, and he really isn't planning on it when he asks, "Why did you stop?"
"Because--" Darren starts, pausing and furrowing his eyebrows. "We were just supposed to practice for Kurt and Blaine's kissing, I wasn't supposed to lose control and just--"
"Lose control?" Chris echoes, and he's definitely blushing, oh god.
"I'm so sorry," Darren says again. "That was completely out of line. Are you okay?" Darren asks, sounding so earnest and concerned and Chris can't help grinning a little as he shakes his head.
"I'm fine, Darren, seriously. But I have to say, for someone who doesn't make a habit of kissing boys, you are really good at it," Chris finishes, and Darren laughs.
"Well, I told you," Darren says, making a goofy face and giving Chris a mock bow, "I'm a pro."
"Sorry if that was, like, awkward," Chris says suddenly, fidgeting a little. "I didn't mean to-- you're right, though, you're a good kisser. You can add me to your list of references."
"Yeah," Darren says, reaching his hand up to drag it through his hair and then grimacing when he realizes it's still gelled down. "Well, for the record, if you ever need your own references, I'm also happy to oblige."
"Oh, come on," Chris says, laughing just a little too loud, still feeling awkward and nervous and unfortunately hard. "You said you've kissed other boys before, they must have been better than a fumbling virgin," Chris says, grimacing as soon as the words are out of his mouth. "Oh my goodness," he says, flushing. "Let's pretend I didn't say that."
Darren just laughs, smiling at Chris bright and wide in that way that makes Chris a little weak in the knees sometimes. "I have kissed other boys," Darren says, his face flushing just a little bit, "but I've never actually, like, enjoyed it. Or gotten into it. I mean it was always fun, but... maybe I should stop talking too," he says awkwardly, scrunching his eyes up and looking down at his feet.
Chris takes a deep breath, trying to think of something to say to break the silence, some kind of stupid joke that Darren would appreciate, and he's seriously considering commenting on the weather when someone knocks on Chris's trailer door, shouting out a brusque, "Ten minutes to set, Chris. Is Darren in there with you?"
"Yeah," Chris says, entirely too quick, his voice squeaking embarrassingly. "Yes," he repeats, louder, and at least the awkwardness has mostly taken care of his hard-on, so getting to his feet isn't an exercise in total humiliation. "Stacey's going to murder you, you know," he says, shrugging on his Dalton blazer and taking in Darren's mussed hair.
"I know," Darren says, wincing as he slips on his own blazer. "She already complains about having to go through an entire bottle of gel every day. Imagine what she would have thought if I hadn't gotten that haircut," he says, turning and smiling hesitantly at Chris.
"Oh god, could you picture her face if you'd shown up with your Potter hair?" Chris asks, laughing, surprised to find that it comes out natural and easy, the way it usually is around Darren.
"She might have tackled me and given me a buzz cut on the spot," Darren says, holding the trailer door open for Chris. "That would have been unfortunate."
"Oh, I don't know," Chris says, grinning up at Darren from the ground as Darren starts down the steps. "You've got the bone structure for it."
Darren laughs, and Chris can't quite tell if he imagines the way his cheeks go a little pink as he ducks his head and grins. "C'mon," Darren says, reaching out and linking his arm with Chris's. "It's time to go fulfill a few million dreams. We can't keep our fans waiting."
"Of course not," Chris says, grinning and falling into step with Darren.
"You know," Darren says, "depending on how positive the response is to the kissing, we might end up with a quasi-sex scene soon."
"Stop it with your pervy wishful thinking, Criss," Chris says, rolling his eyes and trying not to linger on the images the mere suggestion puts into his head.
"I'm just saying, is all," Darren says, grinning at him. "Think about how fun practicing for that's gonna be."
"Wow," Chris says, yanking his arm out of Darren's grip and shoving at his shoulder. Darren doesn't even stumble, and Chris glowers at him before breaking out in a reluctant grin when Darren smiles imploring at him. "Come on already," he says, rolling his eyes and rounding the corner into the Dalton Common Room.
"Just remember," Darren says from behind him, bracing his hand on Chris's shoulder and stretching up so he can whisper in Chris's ear, "no face licking."