Changing Lives 53/55 (Sam/Janet femslash) Stargate SG-1
Janet sat by Sam's bedside as she slept, never letting go of her hand. She woke her every half hour to check on her, and her heart bled when her lover awoke disoriented and in pain. She wished that she could leave her to sleep, but knew that it was dangerous to do that, so she steeled herself. But she hated doing it.
After she had been with Sam for nearly an hour, there was a very light tap on the door, and Cassie stuck her head round. "Mom?" she whispered.
"She'll be okay Cass," Janet also kept her voice low. "Once she's had the graft, she'll be fine in a few weeks."
Cassie approached the bed. "Oh my God," she said when she saw the sleeping Sam. Her hair."
"Yeah," Janet replied in a whisper. "She's gonna need a proper haircut when she gets out. Looks like you're gonna have short hair again for a while, baby," she said to the sleeping Sam. She gently reached out and touched Sam's singed locks.
"How is she otherwise, Mom?" Cassie asked.
"Her arm is very badly burned," Janet said sadly. "And, as you can see," she gestured toward her lover, "she's gonna have a hell of a black eye, and she'll probably need stitches on her face. Wharton can do that while she's out having the graft. He's a good plastic surgeon, Cass, it shouldn't show on her face once it's healed. And of course she's got a nasty concussion, but she'll get over that. Again. You gotta stop doing this, Sam," she turned again to her lover. "Even a cat has only nine lives."
Cassie squeezed her shoulder. "I'll leave you with her. We'll be just the other side of the door if you need us."
Janet shook her head. "It's real uncomfortable out there," she insisted. "Here," she passed her the key for her and Sam's quarters. "Make yourselves at home in our quarters. Or get something to eat in the commissary. I'll find you if I need you."
Cassie kissed her on the cheek. "I love you Mom," she said simply. "Both of you." And she let herself out of the room, after looking lovingly at her sleeping parent.
Anna approached her wife, and took her hand. "How're they doing?" she asked.
Cassie looked up, trying not to cry. "They're okay. Both of them," she said. "Poor Sam, she looks awful. And she lost half of her hair. If it had just been a few inches closer... it doesn't bear thinking about."
"Then don't think, sweetheart," Anna said gently. "Just remember that she's okay."
"This time," Cassie said glumly. "I don't know how Mom copes, Sam's always getting banged up."
"I asked her that once," Anna said. "It made her cry. I felt so bad for asking. But she said she didn't mind. She told me that she loves Sam so much that it's worth it. She said there's nobody in this world who could equal Sam, and if this is what she has to go through to be with her, then she'll cope, even if sometimes it seems unbearable. She said Sam has really turned around since they've been together, and does the best she can not to get hurt, and tries not to do anything rash. But they've both had to accept that sometimes Sam has to risk her life, for the sake of the planet. I don't know how they do it, Cass," she kissed her wife softly. "I'm so grateful you don't do a job like Sam's."
"Ditto," Cassie said tearfully. "Hold me, Annie?" she looked up pleadingly at her wife.
Anna wrapped her long arms round Cassie, and held her tight. "It's okay," she whispered. "We're all okay."
= = =
"Hey, sweetie," Janet said in a soft voice as Sam awoke. "They'll be taking you down for the graft in half an hour. How are you holding up?"
Sam blinked blearily, trying to focus. "M'okay," she said indistinctly.
"It's nearly over, baby," Janet told her, "soon you'll be feeling much better. Once the anesthetic wears off, that is," she grimaced, knowing that Sam always reacted badly to anesthesia. "Then I can take you home and care for you there."
"I should be caring for you," Sam sounded tearful. "Are you okay, baby?"
"I am now," Janet said firmly. "We both are," she took Sam's hand and pressed it to her belly. "And you will be soon too."
"Jan, I'm so sorry," Sam's voice was harsh. "I really didn't mean for this to happen. Especially not so soon before the baby comes," she struggled not to cry.
"Not your fault, Sam," Janet's voice was tender. "And you were real brave. Siler tells me you saved his life."
Sam shook her head. "Only did what anybody would have done. That dweeb Tapley nearly killed him. Shit, what about the MALP room? Is anybody...?" she struggled and tried to sit up.
Janet put a gentle hand on her uninjured shoulder. "Don't even think about it," she said firmly. "It's all in hand. So's Tapley," she grinned evilly. "Jack gave him hell. Then he made a call to the IOA, and gave them hell too. But," her grin widened, "best of all, somehow Teal'c 'accidentally' opened a door in Tapley's face as he was being escorted from the base. Broken nose, two black eyes. And he's gonna need a good dentist if he's planning to save his front teeth."
Sam tried not to wince as she smiled. "S'good," her voice was weak.
"Just rest," Janet said to her, as she pushed Sam's hair out of her eyes. "The nurse'll be here soon to take you down."
"Is there a mirror?" Sam asked. She reached up and felt her head. "I think something happened to my hair."
Janet cupped her cheek. "I don't think you're gonna want to look at it, baby," she said. "You lost a big chunk. But you're okay."
Sam smiled ruefully. "I was thinkin' about going short again," she lied.
Janet caressed the back of her hand. "Looks like the decision's been made for you then."
"Will you cut it for me? After the operation?" Sam asked. "I don't want to be stared at when I leave here."
"Of course I will baby," Janet said. "I'll do a basic cut, and then when you're feeling better, we'll go to the salon, okay?"
Sam nodded. "I feel lousy," she suddenly said.
"I know you do," Janet said. "And I'm so sorry. It won't be for too much longer."
"Hold me?" Sam asked tearfully. "Just for a bit?"
Janet slid her arm beneath Sam, being very careful not to touch her damaged arm. She pulled her lover to her, and cradled her as best she could, not easy as she had to be careful of Sam's injuries and was also hampered by her own large bump. Sam nestled into Janet's front. Janet ran her hand down her cheek, and kissed her very softly on the mouth. "I love you so much, sweetie," Janet whispered.
= = =
An hour later, Cassie joined her mother in the observation room, and immediately noticed Janet's tense posture. "How is it going?" she asked, putting her arm round her mother.
"Fine, I think," Janet's voice was clipped. "Can't see everything. Her vitals look good," she nodded to the screen.
"And how are you Mom?" Cassie asked.
Janet looked up at her daughter, her face pale and drawn. "I'll be okay, once Sam's back in my arms."
"It won't be long, Mom," Cassie reassured. She really wanted Janet to try and catch some sleep. She knew that Sam would likely be sick as a dog after the operation, and that Janet wouldn't leave her side. But she could tell trying to get her to lie down now while Sam was under the knife would have no effect. "Mom?" Cassie started tentatively.
Janet looked at her.
"You'll let me help, once Sam comes to, right? I know you'll want to be there, and I won't ask you to keep away," Cassie said, noting the look of relief on Janet's face. "But I suggest a compromise. We'll get a second bed put in her room, so you sleep when she does? I'll be by her side the whole time you sleep, I swear."
"Okay," Janet's voice was tiny.
"Thanks Mom," Cassie hugged her.
"Where's Annie?" Janet noticed that Cassie was on her own.
"She just went back, to see to the dogs," Cassie told her. "She'll be back in a couple of hours. I told her to stay home, but she won't, she wants to be here. She said that she wants to be with her family when they're hurting."
Janet smiled affectionately. "Thank you," she said, squeezing Cassie's fingers. Both of you."
= = =
"It went well," Rick Wharton, the plastic surgeon told Janet. "She's going to be just fine. It'll take a couple of weeks for her arm to 'take' to the new skin, but it went real well. And I've put in six tiny stitches on her face and I'm hoping that'll heal with no scar. I was very careful, didn't want to mark that pretty face." He smiled at Janet, who was one of his favorite occasional colleagues.
Janet smiled. "I know you were careful," she said, impulsively kissing him on the cheek.
"Well, I could see you were watching," he smiled, "couldn't risk cutting any corners!" he joked.
"Thank you," Janet said, seriously.
"Any time," Wharton replied. "Though I hope it won't be necessary for a while at least."
"Oh God yes," Janet said, relief making her light-headed. "From your mouth to God's ears."