Changing Lives 44/55 (Sam/Janet femslash) Stargate SG-1
Once all the fuss had died down, Cassie followed Janet into the kitchen. "D'you really think that can be Sam's dog from the other timeline?" she asked Janet in a low voice.
Janet smiled at her daughter. "Honestly? I don't know, honey," she said. "But the important thing is that Sam thinks he's the same dog. And she loves him. That's the only thing that matters. I think he likely is the same dog, Sam seems convinced, doesn't she?" and she looked through the hatchway at her lover, who was at that moment cradling the tiny puppy and feeding him with a baby's bottle that Anna had rushed out to buy from the local drugstore. "And he looks pretty comfortable too, doesn't he?" she smiled again.
"Yeah," Cassie agreed. "I'm real glad we found him. God knows how long he'd been there, or how long he would have survived."
"You did the right thing," Janet agreed.
"We got one thing wrong though," Cassie grinned.
"What's that?" Janet asked.
"We never picked up any take-out, and I'm starving," she laughed. "Annie?" she called. "Care for a trip to Mr Chan's?"
Anna readily agreed, and within half an hour, they had returned, laden down with cartons. "I'll eat later," Sam said in a quiet voice, motioning to her lap where Albie was sleeping quietly.
Once Janet had finished eating, she sat carefully on the couch next to Sam. "I'll take him," she kept her voice gentle, "you go eat."
Very tenderly, she reached over and scooped the tiny pup from Sam's lap, taking care to bring the warm blanket along. Albie woke briefly, and seemed to look blearily at Janet before deciding that he was happy with his new seat. "He likes you baby," Sam smiled.
"What's not to like?" Janet joked.
"Nothin'," Sam agreed. "Nothin' at all," and she leant over for a soft kiss before heading toward the kitchen.
= = =
"Just for a week, baby," Janet's voice was pleading. "He's so tiny."
Sam smiled. "He shouldn't get used to sleeping in our bedroom, Jan," she said. "He has to learn that his place is downstairs," she saw Janet's face. "A few days," she agreed reluctantly. "Then we'll get him his own basket, and he can stay down here with Toby. Toby'll look after him, won't you Tobe?" she affectionately caressed their dog. "It's probably best he stays with us for a few days, at least until he's recovered fully. But after that, we bring him back down. Okay?"
Janet readily agreed. She knew that Sam wanted him upstairs anyway, she just wanted Sam to think it was her idea, so Sam wouldn't be seen to be the 'soft' one of the pair of them. She smiled to herself; sometimes reading Sam was just too easy.
= = =
A few days later, Anna put the 'phone down, laughing and went back into the kitchen. "That was Iz," she said to Janet and Cassie, who were preparing dinner. "She's so excited about this wedding, I'd swear it was her getting married."
Cassie smiled at her. "I think it's great she's so into it," she said. "Maybe we can get her to make all the preparations for us?"
"You think you're kidding!" Anna laughed. "She says she's already found a bridesmaid's dress, she's emailing me a photo right now. I do hope you like it?" she looked slightly anxious.
Cassie put down her knife and took Anna in her arms. "If she likes it Annie," she said softly, "that's all that matters. The day is as much for her as it is for us. I've got everything I want already; I have you. If Izzie wants to wear a ballgown, or if she wants to wear jeans, I'm happy."
Janet smiled at the scene unfolding in front of her. She had loved Anna from the first time she saw her, and she loved her more each day as she saw how happy she made their daughter.
"So how's the cookery lesson going Janet?" Anna asked, smiling broadly. Janet had spent the last hour trying to teach Cassie how to cook, and it was slow going.
"Not well," Janet remarked drily. "In fact, if I don't get my diced onions soon, I may have to bring in the big guns!"
"Big guns?" Cassie asked laughing. "Don't tell me, Sam!"
"She's due home in under an hour," Janet reminded her, "and she's had a long day at the mountain. D'you want to tell her there'll be nothing to eat?"
"Be fair Mom," Cassie whined, "if anybody's gonna understand what it's like not to be able to cook, that person's gonna be Sam!"
Janet grinned. "I don't suppose I can argue with that!"
= = =
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sam had just parked the car, and reached over to take Janet's hand. "We don't have to, baby. I'd hate to think you were only doing this to make me happy, because I am happy Jan. Happier than I could ever hope to be. All I need is you, honey."
Janet smiled, looking into her lover's big blue eyes. "Right back at ya, Sam," she said. "You're enough for me; more than enough," her eyes twinkled with devilment. "But I really do want to do this. It might not work, I know that. But let's keep the appointment, hear what they have to say. It's only a consultation at this stage. But if we can, I'd really like to go ahead."
"If you're sure?" Sam still looked worried. "You were real sick, last time, baby. In the other timeline, I mean. You had awful morning sickness."
"A few weeks of nausea is a small price to pay, Sam," Janet took her hand.
"It was more like 11 weeks, Jan. You were real miserable," Sam squeezed her fingers.
"I swear you're trying to deter me!" Janet laughed.
"I'm not," Sam's face was serious. "I'm really not. I just want you to know everything I know. So you've got all the information before you make a decision."
"We're making the decision. Together," Janet reminded her. "And for what it's worth, I can't think of anything better than carrying our baby. Even if I'm sick as a dog," she pulled a face, knowing that this was something she wouldn't relish.
"We go in then, huh?" Sam asked.
Janet nodded, and they got out of the car, holding hands tightly as they entered the clinic.
= = =
"So we wait?" Sam asked Janet once they got home from their consultation. "Until you're ovulating?"
"That's right," Janet agreed. "Which, by my calculations, should be in about two weeks. Sam," she took Sam's hand. "We mustn't forget the wedding in all this. If I do manage to get pregnant," even saying the words made her nervous, "I don't want to fly in the first couple of months. And you might be right that I'm gonna feel lousy for a while. We mustn't screw up the wedding plans. We have to be there, baby, I couldn't bear it if Cass got married without us."
Sam nodded. "Yeah, we've got to take that into consideration," she agreed. "The wedding's five months away, right?"
Janet nodded.
"Well, that gives us two goes before," Sam said. "We can try twice. And then if that doesn't work -- and we've got to expect it's gonna take at least six months, huh? -- then we'll put everything on hold until after the wedding. Does that work for you baby?"
Janet kissed her softly. "That sounds just about perfect," she said.
"And Jan?" Sam added gently.
"Yeah?" Janet asked.
"We give it a year, no more," Sam's tone was firm. "I don't want to put you through endless disappointments. If it doesn't work in a year," she took a deep breath, "then I'll have the tests. And then if that doesn't work, we give up. And just be grateful we've got each other, huh?" Her voice shook with emotion.
Janet saw the unshed tears that had formed in Sam's eyes. "Yeah," she agreed. "Sounds good. As long as I have you, sweetie, I'll always be happy. I swear to you."
"Right back at ya, Jan," Sam said. She reached out and took Janet's hand. "Wanna go upstairs for a while? The girls aren't back until 6pm."
Janet nodded. "Yeah," her voice was quiet. "I do. I really do."
= = =
Just under two weeks later, Janet met Cassie in the kitchen early in the morning.
"It's today then?" Cassie asked her mother.
"It is," Janet said, trying to sound confident. "But Cass," she put her hand on her arm. "It's extremely unlikely that it'll work first time around. It took three attempts in the other timeline, and I hadn't lost an ovary and tube then. So it's logical that this time it'll take at least six, probably more. And maybe," she swallowed, "maybe it won't work at all. We can't pin our hopes."
Cassie put her arms round her mother and held her tight. "We'll be thinking of you," she said, her voice cracking with the emotion. "Both of you."
= = =
"If you want, Janet, Sam can do this instead of one of us. We'll leave you alone, and you can let us know when you're ready," said Dr Garcia.
"What do you think, Jan?" Sam asked her softly. "Shall we do this together?"
Janet looked up at her. "I think that would be good," her voice was almost inaudible.
Sam looked at the doctor, and nodded. Quickly and efficiently, she talked Sam through the procedure, and then tactfully withdrew.
"You're sure about this baby?" Sam asked. "You still want to go ahead."
"Yes," Janet said. "More than anything. Kiss me first, though, baby."
Sam reached out and caressed Janet's face gently, pulling her toward her to kiss her deeply.
"Okay," Janet said. "Let's do this."
= = =
"I think we try and forget about it," Janet put her hand over Sam's as they drove home later that day. "No tests, nothing. For a fortnight at least."
"Okay, Jan," Sam agreed. "But we do the test together, after two weeks, huh?"
Janet nodded her agreement.
So they went about their daily lives for the next week. They tried not to talk about possibilities, about the future. But they were even more affectionate than ever, as if they each wanted to reassure the other that they already had all they needed. Whenever Cassie or Anna came home, they were usually greeted with the sight of Sam and Janet curled up on the couch together, or sitting together on the bench in the garden. If there was no sign of them, they could be fairly sure they were together in the garage, Sam with her head in her motorbike engine, Janet close by watching her every move. And at the mountain, they met as often as they reasonably could.
= = =
"Hi John," Sam was real pleased to see John Sheppard's face on the screen in the control room. "How are you? How is everybody there?"
Sheppard smiled back. "Everything's great, Sam," he told her. "Though Atlantis isn't the same without you. Rodney's missing you particularly. In fact," he leant in toward the screen and lowered his voice, "he's driving Woolsey crazy, constantly telling him how he doesn't match up to you."
Sam laughed. "Poor Rodney," she said. "I'm sure he hated me being in command too, he's never happy. Though he's happy with Jennifer, huh?"
Sheppard smiled again. "Yeah, they're a great pair. I don't know how she puts up with him, but she does. She loves him. Go figure!"
"So what can we do for you?" Sam came to the point. Much as she liked chatting with him, she knew this was more than a social call.
"We were just wondering if there's any chance you could make it over here for a day?" Sheppard asked. "It's no biggie. It's just we're trying to finalize a treaty with the Cayans, and their president Orax says he doesn't trust Woolsey. He wants to talk to you, he trusts you'll keep your word."
"Woolsey'd keep his too," Sam protested. She'd been keeping a close eye on developments at Atlantis, and even she had to admit that Woolsey had turned out to be less of an ass than she had first thought.
"I know that," Sheppard answered, "and to start with he was real pissed that Orax asked for you. But it's Woolsey that has asked if you would come. The treaty's important, Sam, and he knows that. You'd only have to stay two hours, three tops. How about it?"
Sam laughed. "Yeah, why not?" she said. "I'll talk to General O'Neill, as long as he has no objections I'll leave this afternoon."
"Landry still not back?" Sheppard wanted to know.
"No," Sam said. "I'm not sure if he's gonna be back. Looks like he's gonna need a knee replacement, and last time I saw him he said he just might take the opportunity to retire. He's got plans to spend more time duck hunting, I think!"
Sheppard grinned. "I'll talk to you later then?"
"I'll get back to you within an hour," Sam promised.
= = =
"It'll be less than three days, Jan," Sam went to see Janet in the infirmary. "The longest time is the waiting at Midway each way. But I don't have to go baby," she peered anxiously at her lover.
"Of course you must go!" Janet laughed, reaching up for a kiss. "I'll be fine here. There's nothing important going on, and the girls are around. We'll all be fine."
"You could come with me?" Sam suggested.
"No, sweetie," Janet said. "We can't have people thinking we can't even be apart for 72 hours! Anyway," she laughed, "who'd look after Albie?"
Sam grinned. "Oh that's true," she said. "Though we can't really let him loose in the infirmary can we?"
"He'll be fine in my office," Janet said. "And in a couple of weeks, he'll be strong enough to stay at home with Toby."
Since finding Albie, Sam had been bringing him into her lab with her. So far, the pup had been very well behaved, just sitting in his basket, and looking adoringly at Sam. But she knew that as he regained his strength he would, sooner or later, want to get out of the basket and explore. "I'll miss him when he stays at home," Sam admitted. "I know, I know," she held up her hands in mock surrender, "he can't keep coming in with us. It's just that it's been kinda nice having him there."
"He'll miss you too, Sam, especially over the next few days," Janet smiled. "But I'll look after him, I swear."
"I know you will honey," Sam kissed her. "You can keep each other company."
"It won't be the same as having you home," Janet reminded her. "When do you leave?"
"In a couple of hours," Sam said. "I'll take the laptop, so's we can email. And I'll be back Thursday lunchtime."
"Come see me before you leave?" Janet pleaded.
"Of course," Sam said.
= = =
"Well that was easy!" Sam smiled after the principles of the treaty had been agreed. Woolsey had done a surprisingly good job on all the details of the treaty, and Orax had already agreed to the contents of it; he just wanted to conclude the agreement with Sam rather that Woolsey.
"I've seen the way you operate," Orax told Sam. "I know you have integrity. If you'll be the co-signatory of the agreement, then I'm happy to sign."
Sam was pleased to be able to reassure him. She also enjoyed catching up with her old friends at Atlantis, though she found it a bit strange seeing them after so many months. But she was happy to see that things were going well and that Woolsey had turned out to be a reasonable leader after all. She was still uncomfortable in his presence, not least because of the part the IOA had played in her abrupt dismissal from command.
"I still think he's a dweeb," Sheppard confided. "But at least it's not the car crash we were expecting. We miss you Sam. But I don't expect you'd come back even if they asked you now?"
Sam shook her head. "Nope," she said with a smile. "I've got too much going on back on Earth; I've done one big separation, and I promised never again. But thank you for saying that, it's so nice to know you'd be happy to have me back."
"In a hearbeat," Sheppard said. "I don't suppose we can tempt you to stay the night tonight?"
Sam shook her head again. "I want to get back," she admitted shyly. "Got a new dog. And I want to see Janet and the girls. I've got kinda used to spending a lot of time with them, it's weird being away."
"Then you go," Sheppard said. "And thanks for all you've done."
Sam gave him a hug, and then went to seek out the others to say her goodbyes.
"Don't be a stranger," Jennifer Keller told her.
= = =
The 24 hours at Midway seemed to last for ever; Sam couldn't wait to see Janet again. She knew she was rostered to work on the Thursday of her return, though, so was happy she could see her almost immediately, at her post-mission medical.
"No Janet?" Sam asked as Dr Lam led her to one of the cubicles.
"No, she called in sick, she's not feeling all that good today," Dr Lam told her. "She says she's okay, just eaten something that disagreed, she thinks." She saw the look of alarm on Sam's face. "Really, Sam, she's okay," she reassured her. "I called her less than an hour ago, and she's already feeling much better. She said she was thinking of coming in, but I told her to take the rest of the day, get some rest. She's fine, Sam," she said firmly.
Sam smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," she said, "I always overreact when it comes to Janet."
"Don't ever apologize for caring," Carolyn Lam smiled.
= = =
"Hey Carter!" O'Neill greeted Sam as she exited the infirmary. "Ready to debrief?"
"Yes, sir," Sam said. "I just want to make a quick call, d'you mind?"
O'Neill grinned. "I thought you might. Tell her you'll be leaving for home in half an hour. I know she's off sick today, Carter, so we'll make the debriefing short and you can get back to her."
Sam smiled, and put her hand on his arm. "Thank you sir," she said, "I really appreciate it."
O'Neill smiled back. "Least I can do," he said.
= = =
Sam let herself into the house, trying hard not to make any noise and disturb her lover. So she was surprised to find Janet sitting on the couch, magazine in one hand and coffee in the other.
"Jan," she said tenderly as she saw her.
Janet grinned and jumped to her feet, throwing herself into Sam's arms. "I missed you," she said, though her words were muffled as she was buried in Sam's front.
"Missed you too, baby," Sam pulled back slightly and peered anxiously into Janet's face. She pushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you feeling hon?"
Janet smiled. "I'm okay now, just felt really queasy this morning. Didn't think I could cope with the infirmary feeling like that. But I'm feeling much better now, I swear."
Sam looked at her closely, and saw tension and tiredness in her eyes. "Well you sit down and take it easy, I'm gonna look after you."
"Actually, Sam," Janet hesitated.
"What is it honey?" Sam looked anxious.
Janet smiled. "It's nothing bad, baby, I swear," she promised. "And it has only just occurred to me."
"What?" Sam demanded.
"I'm just wondering if... perhaps. I mean, it's early stages. But it's nearly two weeks. It's probably crazy even to think it. It's probably just a bug. But I've been real tired for the last couple of days. Shall we... shall we try a test? Or is that just dumb?" Janet felt awkward.
"Oh my God," Sam gasped. "I hadn't even thought. Have you got any tests?"
"I've always got a few in my bag," Janet said. "What do you think? Shall we?"
"We'll just wonder if we don't," Sam said sensibly. "Also, if there is something wrong with you, we need to know."
"I'm feeling pretty good," Janet insisted. "Okay then, I'll be back in a few minutes." She rifled in her medical bag, and then headed for the bathroom.
Sam sat on the couch, staring sightlessly at the wall. She heard a whimpering sound, and looked down to see Albie at her feet. "Hey boy," she said affectionately, scooping up the small dog. He had grown a fair bit since his arrival, but he was still tiny. "Where's Toby?"
At the sound of his name, Toby appeared round the corner. "Hey, Tobe," Sam said, "come sit by me," and she patted the couch next to her. He leapt up enthusiastically; it was not often he was allowed on the furniture. Sam buried her face in his warm fur. "Just don't tell Janet," she said.
"Don't tell Janet what?" Janet demanded as she re-entered the room.
"You've done it?" Sam asked. "Well? What does it say?"
Janet looked shaky; Sam immediately leapt up and put her arms round her lover. "What is it baby? Are you okay?"
"I couldn't look," Janet clung tight to Sam. "I've left it in there. Will you look baby?"
"How about we look together?" Sam suggested.
"Okay," Janet said in a small voice.
Sam took her by the hand, and led her into the bathroom. The stick sat just by the faucet. Gingerly Sam picked it up and held it in front of them.
"Oh God," Janet said. "Oh my God?"
"Janet?" Sam asked. "Are you alright?"
Janet gave a small smile. "I don't think I've ever been better," she said in a whisper. "Oh God, Sam," she looked up at her, "we're gonna be parents!"
"Yes we are," Sam didn't realize that her face was streaked with tears. "I can't believe it. First time. How is that possible?"
"Want me to draw you a diagram?" Janet asked drily, pulling herself together. "It's really happening, Sam. We're having a baby together."
Sam cupped her face softly between warm hands, and very tenderly kissed her. "I love you, baby," she whispered.
"I love you too Sam," Janet replied. "More than ever. Let's go upstairs, I want to show you just how much I love you."
"Are you sure, honey?" Sam asked. "I mean, you haven't been feeling good."
"And if you're right, Sam, I'm gonna be feeling awful for months," Janet grimaced. "And this may be the last time for quite some time that I want to make love to you. So let's make the most of it, huh?"
Sam took her hand and led her toward the stairs.