Comments | sith_happened: Emo Beach [midday]

sith_happened

Emo Beach [midday]

Jul 08, 2007 11:04

The dekittification could have gone worse.

You know.

Somehow.

And Anakin was going to sit here on the beach until he thought about how.

[For Rikku. SP for great justice.]

my life sucks so much worse than yours, anakitty is not amused, rikku, hamlet, woe, life sucks beyond the telling of it, rory, sometimes i'm a moron

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the_merriest July 8 2007, 22:07:44 UTC

The room had been empty when she got back, and she wasn't going to admit how relieved she was about that. So she should have sat down and figured out who to contact and waited for Hermione to get back. That lasted all of thirty seconds before she'd taken off again.

Rikku hadn't even realized she was headed for the beach until she got there. The beach was good. She could sit and listen to the spray and nuzzle her Judekitty and ... you know. Completely avoid all of the stuff she needed to do.

Great.

She wiped her eyes again and tried to figure out how to start telling people, completely oblivious to the fact that there was someone else on the beach.

the_merriest July 9 2007, 00:24:31 UTC

Rikku bit her lip. "I used to be better at it. I used to ... I could ... you close your eyes and take a breath and you bury the dead and that's what you do because ... because you have to, and I don't know why I can't any more."

The Judekitty who had been mellowly nuzzling her ankles stopped short and headbutted her with an insistant "mrowl."

sith_happened July 9 2007, 00:32:41 UTC

"Because you lowered your defenses," Anakin said, eyes haunted. "Death happens somewhere else. It doesn't effect people here. And it hurts so much more when that's not true."

the_merriest July 9 2007, 01:18:33 UTC

"Yeah," she said quietly. "It's ... it's everyone in Spira and no one here and it shouldn't ..."

She shook her head quickly. "So what do you do? I can't ... I can't go back to that. Looking at my friends. W-wondering ... who's next. I might as well just ..."

sith_happened July 9 2007, 01:28:43 UTC

"...give up entirely?" Anakin finished for her, then shook his head. "Hamlet would hate for that to happen. I've lost..." he stared out at the water for a moment. "...more people than I want to remember," he said finally. "And their faces will follow me for the rest of my life. But you can't just stop. You have to continue living for those who...can't any more."

the_merriest July 9 2007, 01:37:20 UTC

"I can't do this," she repeated softly. "I thought I was strong and I'm not. I'm supposed to be telling you and everyone else and all I've done is lay in bed and cry like I'm some little girl whose boyfriend just dumped her and ..."

sith_happened July 9 2007, 01:48:36 UTC

"You're not being like that," Anakin said, voice a little sharper than he'd meant. "You've lost a friend. Don't judge yourself because it hits you in a way you weren't expecting." He bit his lip. "My wife died years and years ago, and it can still sneak up on me and cut like a vibroblade."

He shook his head. "You've told me. Who else needs to know? How can I help?"

His voice softened. "Share the burden, Rikku, or it'll crush you."

the_merriest July 9 2007, 02:03:58 UTC

"Your wife?" Rikku looked at him with concern. "That's ... Luke's mom, right? I'm ... I'm sorry. And I know you were a friend of H-... his, too. I don't mean to ..." She swallowed quickly.

"I don't know. I th-think I'm the only one who knows. I don't know who Hamlet knew, I was going to ... try to find everyone from his party, but some of them graduated, and ..." She looked down for a moment, biting her lip again. "Every time I thought about ... sitting down to look it up and finding people and breaking it to them, I just ... I got so tired, you know? Just like I couldn't picture ... going through all of that and so I just holed up for a little while longer."

sith_happened July 9 2007, 02:16:26 UTC

Anakin brushed off her concern with a wave of his hand. He'd deal with his own pain later.

"I can talk with Zoe," he said quietly. "She'll need to know anyway. And send me the list, too. The time thing--Hamlet and I were close last year, Fandom time. I know some of his friends still."

For some ridiculous reason, the vision of a sad pink bunny flitted through Anakin's mind and it was almost enough to break him entirely.

"You don't have to bear the brunt of everyone's heartache," he continued.

the_merriest July 9 2007, 02:31:31 UTC

"I didn't even think," she said, turning slightly to stare out over the water. "The Principal and all. And ... everyone else. All I have are e-mail addresses and most of them graduated, I think, and I didn't know how to ..."

Rikku turned back to him, quickly shaking her head. "I don't ... you don't have to, either. I can't ask you to just ... I can talk to people. I didn't mean to ... dump all of this on you."

sith_happened July 9 2007, 02:38:19 UTC

"If you don't know them, and I do, I'll call," Anakin promised. "You're not dumping anything on me. You're letting me help. There was a war...I got good at breaking this kind of news."

the_merriest July 9 2007, 02:44:25 UTC

"We had a war," she said softly. "I got home in time to see it all destroyed. But there was no one to tell."

"How ..." Rikku took a deep breath and set her chin. "How do you think I should start? Leave people messages? Knock on doors? If you haven't heard something awful, then you need to talk to me, please?"

sith_happened July 9 2007, 02:48:13 UTC

"Not that third one," Anakin said quickly. "But door-to-door is best if you can handle the emotions. For the alumni...phone calls will have to do. I'm not teleporting all over creation with this."

the_merriest July 9 2007, 03:03:51 UTC

Rikku closed her eyes and tried to remember the list. "John Connor was there, and Kawalsky who helped with the volcano, Molly, Bridge, Zero, a girl named Parker, one of the cheerleaders named D, and a guy named Xander. They mostly seemed kinda older? And there were people that got invited but couldn't go, but I don't know who. He ... he came on the mutiny. I don't know if Seely and Alec ... were friends of his?"

She shrugged a little helplessly. "There might be people who'd just ... want to know. And I think I'll be okay, I just ... if anyone starts ..." She let that hang. "I won't be able to handle it, you know?"

sith_happened July 9 2007, 03:34:34 UTC

Anakin nodded. "I know all of the older ones," he said quietly. "I'll tell Molly, K, Zero, Parker and Xander." He blew out a breath. "Maybe Xander can break it to Bridge."

the_merriest July 9 2007, 03:47:41 UTC

"Is ... is that a problem? I can ... if it is, I mean. I'll ..." Rikku thought about the people and then nodded. "I'll tell cheerleading, I think they'd want to know. And Seely and Alec. And maybe ... I don't know how to find who else. I think his old roommate's gone and I didn't know many of his friends."

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