Shinji and Asuka, Chapter 1.1
Hello everyone, and welcome to my newest sporking! Joining me this time is my sister aireyverkhovensky. Now, as for this story- this is “Shinji and Asuka”, found via r/evangelion, which claims that this story is one of the two worst Evangelion fanfics. So- enjoy! Or, y’know, not- there’s rape early in this story.
We open in not in the usual theater, but in a surprisingly luxurious theater decorated with Aztec art and statues. A banquet of fine Aztec foods is already awaiting. It is in this circumstance that Quetzalcoatl and Tlaloc arrive.
Quetzalcoatl: ...this is a bad sign.
Tlaloc: Someone feels bad for us.
Quetzalcoatl: There’s a note on the screen: ‘Hopefully it’s not as bad as “Power Plays”’. What does that mean?
Tlaloc: *pales*
Quetzalcoatl: ...what?
They are interrupted by two creatures of ambiguous biology walking in.
Fallen: Woah. Nice digs.
Aziz: I heard someone say ‘Power Plays’...?
Tlaloc: You know of it?
Aziz: Read it on Sith’s blog back in the day, yeah.
Fallen: Didn’t you, like, not finish it?
Aziz: Uh… don’t remember. I only read it because I’m kind of into BDSM myself, so I find it extra fun when someone completely fucks it up.
Quetzalcoatl: All I know about it is something something NGE and rape?
Tlaloc: That’s about right.
Fallen: Great! We don’t know anything about NGE! :)
Tlaloc: I’ve seen it. Tlatzolteotl’s the actual fan, but she ain’t here.
Quetzalcoatl: Bah, let’s get started already!
Author's Notes: I wrote a Shaman King lemon oneshot and told myself I would not write another story till it received at least one review. So here I am now writing my first chapter of "Shinji and Asuka", this is probably going to be long story, and I'll try to update when I can.
Tlaloc: Off to a good start…
Quetzalcoatl: What better to write a story about if not a couple in a toxic relationship?
Aziz: Hey - that stuff can be pretty interesting.
Fallen: If done well.
Aziz: And if done badly, just… not interesting in the way the author intended for it to be interesting… *cough*HIEQ2*cough*
Disclaimer: I do not own Gainax, Evangelion or any of its characters. This story is a non-profit creative writing based on the series 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' which does not belong to me in any way.
Some notes:
Baka: idiot
Mein Gott: My God
Tlaloc: The story is already set in Japanese! There’s no point in leaving ‘baka’ untranslated!
"" Speech quotations
'' thought quotations
Fallen: JUST USE ITALICS
An important note, this story has one change in the storyline and that is the fact that Touji did not lose any limbs when his infected evangelion was defeated by Shinji.
Tlaloc: ...well, I think that would only make the show marginally less dark.
Quetzalcoatl: Isn’t that the point everything starts going off the rails?
Tlaloc: I… think so?
Aziz: I wonder how this will be relevant… or if it even will, maybe the author’s just squeamish about amputees(?).
A note to say this is the rewritten chapter 1.
Tlaloc: Makes me wonder how terrible it was originally.
##########WARNING!##########
*WARNING!* This chapter may contain material that is offensive to many readers. If you do not wish to read this entire chapter, go to the 'skip end' when you see the 'skip'. I will provide a chapter summary of this chapter at the bottom for those who don't want to read this chapter at all. This will be the only time I do this, as this is the only chapter some people might not be able to read.
##########WARNING!##########
Quetzalcoatl: Hey, that’s nice! There’s a warning!
Tlaloc: I’m pretty sure that Power Plays didn’t really have one.
Fallen: Pssh, who needs warnings?
Aziz: Or, really vague warnings that just say “offensive to many readers” instead of actually telling you what you’re getting in for, anyway...
Chapter 1: Shinji's decision
Tlaloc: Already entering OOC territory here, folks.
It was a quiet afternoon at the Katsuragi residence. Currently there were only two occupants inside the dwelling. They both had no idea about the event that was about to transpire, that would change both their lives forever. The young girl knocked the boy over the head with her fist, annoyed at his incompetence.
"Shinji you baka,
Fallen: So, if it’s in Japanese already, does including a random Japanese word in the otherwise-translated-into-English dialogue mean that it was ‘originally’ in English? That’s what I always assume.
Quetzalcoatl: I guess it could be German? Maybe?
you haven't made me dinner yet and I'm hungry. I highly recommend you don't keep me waiting," shouted the clearly aggravated redhead called Asuka.
Tlaloc: What’s the point of describing and introducing the characters? Who is going to read a story called “Shinji and Asuka” if they weren’t already fans of Evangelion?
Aziz: Well...
"Alright, alright gimme a sec," he squeaked in reply, "jeez can't she leave me alone for one day?" muttered the brown haired boy named Shinji as she turned away.
"What did you say?" she demanded, refocusing her attention on him.
"Nothing!" he replied instantly.
Fallen: Considering what I’ve been told about what’s coming up, I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing that the writing’s so… drab.
Quetzalcoatl: Probably a good thing…
Aziz: Yeah.
"I heard you say something you spineless wimp," she said snarling at him.
"I'm sorry" he replied on impulse.
"BAKA! Just shut up!" she said smacking him on the forehead before turning around and storming off.
Tlaloc: Can’t say they’re out-of-character yet though!
Shinji sighed and went to the kitchen to start making dinner.
Aziz: Shinji “Whipped” Ikari
Fallen: Shinji “Bitch boy” Ikari
Aziz: Feed the bitch, bitch boy!
The young boy was finding it more and more difficult to deal with his roommate. It had all started back after he defeated the 14th angel and returned from being absorbed by Unit 01.
Tlaloc: ...so I’m pretty sure that means that the next angel is the mindrape one. So things are about to get a lot, lot worse.
Aziz: The what now
Tlaloc: The mindrape angel. It blasted Asuka with some beam while the Hallelujah Chorus played that forced her to relive her most traumatic memories- such as finding her mother swinging- that eventually lead to her attempted suicide.
Aziz: Aight. The only part here that really concerns me is the inclusion of the Hallelujah Chorus.
Fallen: Well… why not?
Quetzalcoatl: They started using a lot of public domain music once the funding dried up. Or so I hear.
She had treated him coldly when he returned and had since made sure to put him down and make him suffer at every given moment. He couldn't understand what he had done to make her behave this way towards him. Even after asking Misato about it, she just told him to wait till Asuka settled down, she was only angry because she had lost to the angel and her sync ratio was very low.
Quetzalcoatl: If I recall correctly, that was also the beginning of Asuka’s mental collapse.
But Shinji thought it was extremely unfair that he should have to deal with her abusive behaviour just because she was a little unhappy. Where did his feelings come into account?
Fallen: Implying they did? Ever? In the whole series?
But of course Misato was too busy to do anything about it, she didn't even know how bad it was, she just thought Asuka was behaving like her usual self. Shinji could stand her usual behaviour, in fact he didn't mind it, it brought some fun into his life, but with her current constant smacking, yelling and insulting he was really being worn down.
Tlaloc: Such a toxic relationship. How sad.
Quetzalcoatl: You don’t really care, do you.
Tlaloc: Of course not.
Aziz: Should we?
Aztecs: ….nah
She had on many occasions refused to eat his cooking, even going as far as to throw it in his face. The redhead would 'accidentally' step on his toes whenever she was walking next to him.
Fallen: I get the use of quotes around ‘accidentally’, but if she’s walking next to him… come on...
The amount of times he had been called stupid in one day was easily over 200, she would even use it to address him when she wanted his attention.
Tlaloc: To be fair, Asuka is an attention whore. No wonder she’s acting this way.
With the sheer amount of physical abuse she gave him, be it a smack or a slap, it was a wonder he still had brain cells left.
Aziz: >implying he had any to begin with
But Shinji just said sorry and placed the blame on himself like he always did.
Quetzalcoatl: No wonder he tried to strangle Asuka on the beach at the end of that one animé movie…
Tlaloc: End of Evangelion?
Quetzalcoatl: The one with the pop song.
Tlaloc: So yes.
Fallen: Isn’t that one that, like, starts with Shinji jacking off over someone in a coma…
Tlaloc: Yes, and that someone is, in fact, Asuka.
Fallen: Amazing.
Remembering that he was supposed to be making dinner, he quickly scrounged the fridge for some ingredients and found barely anything. 'What am I going to do? No matter how I look at it, whatever I make with only this is going to piss Asuka off' he thought with dismay.
Tlaloc: Well, if the end result is the same either way, simply prepare nothing and tell her to make her own sandwiches.
The young boy decided to just make some ramen;
Aziz: Mmm… you know what I miss after moving to Utah? The good ramen from the Korean market.
Fallen: The fancy, imported… instant noodles.
Aziz: Yes.
Tlaloc: *rolls eyes*
it was the safest out of all the choices available. At once he began preparing the meal in the kitchen, temporarily taking his mind off Asuka.
Quetzalcoatl: What a boring meal.
After a while, the smell of food had brought the redhead rushing in and she decided to sit down at the table as she waited for Shinji to finish. The male eva pilot brought the finished meal to the table and set it down in front of Asuka. She just looked at her meal distastefully.
Tlaloc: Why is this using so many epithets?
Fallen: Just in case we forget who all is in this fic.
Aziz: There’s actually multiple unnamed people in their kitchen.
"Why do you always have to make the same stinking Japanese food?
Fallen: Cuz bitch
You in Japan
Don't you have any taste at all?" she asked annoyed.
Tlaloc: I could say the same!
Quetzalcoatl: Why are you taking the side of the abuser?
Tlaloc: Because if this is anything like Power Plays, I’m about to side with Asuka instead.
"I'm sorry Asuka there was nothing in the fridge, it was all I could make" he replied timidly.
"Stop saying sorry you baka" she snapped.
"I'm sor-"
"I will seriously rip your tongue out if you finish that word!" she roared.
"Ummm, enjoy your meal Asuka" he said lamely.
Quetzalcoatl: Truly the picture of a loving couple.
Table of Contents | Chapter 1.2
We open in not in the usual theater, but in a surprisingly luxurious theater decorated with Aztec art and statues. A banquet of fine Aztec foods is already awaiting. It is in this circumstance that Quetzalcoatl and Tlaloc arrive.
Quetzalcoatl: ...this is a bad sign.
Tlaloc: Someone feels bad for us.
Quetzalcoatl: There’s a note on the screen: ‘Hopefully it’s not as bad as “Power Plays”’. What does that mean?
Tlaloc: *pales*
Quetzalcoatl: ...what?
They are interrupted by two creatures of ambiguous biology walking in.
Fallen: Woah. Nice digs.
Aziz: I heard someone say ‘Power Plays’...?
Tlaloc: You know of it?
Aziz: Read it on Sith’s blog back in the day, yeah.
Fallen: Didn’t you, like, not finish it?
Aziz: Uh… don’t remember. I only read it because I’m kind of into BDSM myself, so I find it extra fun when someone completely fucks it up.
Quetzalcoatl: All I know about it is something something NGE and rape?
Tlaloc: That’s about right.
Fallen: Great! We don’t know anything about NGE! :)
Tlaloc: I’ve seen it. Tlatzolteotl’s the actual fan, but she ain’t here.
Quetzalcoatl: Bah, let’s get started already!
Author's Notes: I wrote a Shaman King lemon oneshot and told myself I would not write another story till it received at least one review. So here I am now writing my first chapter of "Shinji and Asuka", this is probably going to be long story, and I'll try to update when I can.
Tlaloc: Off to a good start…
Quetzalcoatl: What better to write a story about if not a couple in a toxic relationship?
Aziz: Hey - that stuff can be pretty interesting.
Fallen: If done well.
Aziz: And if done badly, just… not interesting in the way the author intended for it to be interesting… *cough*HIEQ2*cough*
Disclaimer: I do not own Gainax, Evangelion or any of its characters. This story is a non-profit creative writing based on the series 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' which does not belong to me in any way.
Some notes:
Baka: idiot
Mein Gott: My God
Tlaloc: The story is already set in Japanese! There’s no point in leaving ‘baka’ untranslated!
"" Speech quotations
'' thought quotations
Fallen: JUST USE ITALICS
An important note, this story has one change in the storyline and that is the fact that Touji did not lose any limbs when his infected evangelion was defeated by Shinji.
Tlaloc: ...well, I think that would only make the show marginally less dark.
Quetzalcoatl: Isn’t that the point everything starts going off the rails?
Tlaloc: I… think so?
Aziz: I wonder how this will be relevant… or if it even will, maybe the author’s just squeamish about amputees(?).
A note to say this is the rewritten chapter 1.
Tlaloc: Makes me wonder how terrible it was originally.
##########WARNING!##########
*WARNING!* This chapter may contain material that is offensive to many readers. If you do not wish to read this entire chapter, go to the 'skip end' when you see the 'skip'. I will provide a chapter summary of this chapter at the bottom for those who don't want to read this chapter at all. This will be the only time I do this, as this is the only chapter some people might not be able to read.
##########WARNING!##########
Quetzalcoatl: Hey, that’s nice! There’s a warning!
Tlaloc: I’m pretty sure that Power Plays didn’t really have one.
Fallen: Pssh, who needs warnings?
Aziz: Or, really vague warnings that just say “offensive to many readers” instead of actually telling you what you’re getting in for, anyway...
Chapter 1: Shinji's decision
Tlaloc: Already entering OOC territory here, folks.
It was a quiet afternoon at the Katsuragi residence. Currently there were only two occupants inside the dwelling. They both had no idea about the event that was about to transpire, that would change both their lives forever. The young girl knocked the boy over the head with her fist, annoyed at his incompetence.
"Shinji you baka,
Fallen: So, if it’s in Japanese already, does including a random Japanese word in the otherwise-translated-into-English dialogue mean that it was ‘originally’ in English? That’s what I always assume.
Quetzalcoatl: I guess it could be German? Maybe?
you haven't made me dinner yet and I'm hungry. I highly recommend you don't keep me waiting," shouted the clearly aggravated redhead called Asuka.
Tlaloc: What’s the point of describing and introducing the characters? Who is going to read a story called “Shinji and Asuka” if they weren’t already fans of Evangelion?
Aziz: Well...
"Alright, alright gimme a sec," he squeaked in reply, "jeez can't she leave me alone for one day?" muttered the brown haired boy named Shinji as she turned away.
"What did you say?" she demanded, refocusing her attention on him.
"Nothing!" he replied instantly.
Fallen: Considering what I’ve been told about what’s coming up, I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing that the writing’s so… drab.
Quetzalcoatl: Probably a good thing…
Aziz: Yeah.
"I heard you say something you spineless wimp," she said snarling at him.
"I'm sorry" he replied on impulse.
"BAKA! Just shut up!" she said smacking him on the forehead before turning around and storming off.
Tlaloc: Can’t say they’re out-of-character yet though!
Shinji sighed and went to the kitchen to start making dinner.
Aziz: Shinji “Whipped” Ikari
Fallen: Shinji “Bitch boy” Ikari
Aziz: Feed the bitch, bitch boy!
The young boy was finding it more and more difficult to deal with his roommate. It had all started back after he defeated the 14th angel and returned from being absorbed by Unit 01.
Tlaloc: ...so I’m pretty sure that means that the next angel is the mindrape one. So things are about to get a lot, lot worse.
Aziz: The what now
Tlaloc: The mindrape angel. It blasted Asuka with some beam while the Hallelujah Chorus played that forced her to relive her most traumatic memories- such as finding her mother swinging- that eventually lead to her attempted suicide.
Aziz: Aight. The only part here that really concerns me is the inclusion of the Hallelujah Chorus.
Fallen: Well… why not?
Quetzalcoatl: They started using a lot of public domain music once the funding dried up. Or so I hear.
She had treated him coldly when he returned and had since made sure to put him down and make him suffer at every given moment. He couldn't understand what he had done to make her behave this way towards him. Even after asking Misato about it, she just told him to wait till Asuka settled down, she was only angry because she had lost to the angel and her sync ratio was very low.
Quetzalcoatl: If I recall correctly, that was also the beginning of Asuka’s mental collapse.
But Shinji thought it was extremely unfair that he should have to deal with her abusive behaviour just because she was a little unhappy. Where did his feelings come into account?
Fallen: Implying they did? Ever? In the whole series?
But of course Misato was too busy to do anything about it, she didn't even know how bad it was, she just thought Asuka was behaving like her usual self. Shinji could stand her usual behaviour, in fact he didn't mind it, it brought some fun into his life, but with her current constant smacking, yelling and insulting he was really being worn down.
Tlaloc: Such a toxic relationship. How sad.
Quetzalcoatl: You don’t really care, do you.
Tlaloc: Of course not.
Aziz: Should we?
Aztecs: ….nah
She had on many occasions refused to eat his cooking, even going as far as to throw it in his face. The redhead would 'accidentally' step on his toes whenever she was walking next to him.
Fallen: I get the use of quotes around ‘accidentally’, but if she’s walking next to him… come on...
The amount of times he had been called stupid in one day was easily over 200, she would even use it to address him when she wanted his attention.
Tlaloc: To be fair, Asuka is an attention whore. No wonder she’s acting this way.
With the sheer amount of physical abuse she gave him, be it a smack or a slap, it was a wonder he still had brain cells left.
Aziz: >implying he had any to begin with
But Shinji just said sorry and placed the blame on himself like he always did.
Quetzalcoatl: No wonder he tried to strangle Asuka on the beach at the end of that one animé movie…
Tlaloc: End of Evangelion?
Quetzalcoatl: The one with the pop song.
Tlaloc: So yes.
Fallen: Isn’t that one that, like, starts with Shinji jacking off over someone in a coma…
Tlaloc: Yes, and that someone is, in fact, Asuka.
Fallen: Amazing.
Remembering that he was supposed to be making dinner, he quickly scrounged the fridge for some ingredients and found barely anything. 'What am I going to do? No matter how I look at it, whatever I make with only this is going to piss Asuka off' he thought with dismay.
Tlaloc: Well, if the end result is the same either way, simply prepare nothing and tell her to make her own sandwiches.
The young boy decided to just make some ramen;
Aziz: Mmm… you know what I miss after moving to Utah? The good ramen from the Korean market.
Fallen: The fancy, imported… instant noodles.
Aziz: Yes.
Tlaloc: *rolls eyes*
it was the safest out of all the choices available. At once he began preparing the meal in the kitchen, temporarily taking his mind off Asuka.
Quetzalcoatl: What a boring meal.
After a while, the smell of food had brought the redhead rushing in and she decided to sit down at the table as she waited for Shinji to finish. The male eva pilot brought the finished meal to the table and set it down in front of Asuka. She just looked at her meal distastefully.
Tlaloc: Why is this using so many epithets?
Fallen: Just in case we forget who all is in this fic.
Aziz: There’s actually multiple unnamed people in their kitchen.
"Why do you always have to make the same stinking Japanese food?
Fallen: Cuz bitch
You in Japan
Don't you have any taste at all?" she asked annoyed.
Tlaloc: I could say the same!
Quetzalcoatl: Why are you taking the side of the abuser?
Tlaloc: Because if this is anything like Power Plays, I’m about to side with Asuka instead.
"I'm sorry Asuka there was nothing in the fridge, it was all I could make" he replied timidly.
"Stop saying sorry you baka" she snapped.
"I'm sor-"
"I will seriously rip your tongue out if you finish that word!" she roared.
"Ummm, enjoy your meal Asuka" he said lamely.
Quetzalcoatl: Truly the picture of a loving couple.
Table of Contents | Chapter 1.2