New Age individualism is dangerous

[sitakali]

I honestly cannot believe that somebody on OKCupid said this in a message:

So my answer to your moral question is thus- I CANNOT improve the lot of people, unless they CHOOSE improvement. Teaching a man to fish, is better than giving him a fish certainly, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee that the man will GO FISHING on his own. And I am not

Comments

[moksha]

i don't think that was confrontational, on the contrary, it was very patient and articulate and well-argued. i have the opposite problem, i tend to believe that i personally must build big airplanes and dirigibles to drop food on starving populations, and humanoid robots to revolutionize the world economy, so i fantasize about this regularly. neurotic people tend to take collective problems personally, according to jung. meanwhile, in the real world, i don't have airplanes and dirigibles, so i just make my modest monthly contribution to doctors without borders. as a buddhist, i do believe in reincarnation/rebirth, so if i am reborn in sub-saharan africa, i hope that there will be plenty of medicine available by then. of course i hope to be reborn on a different planet altogether, where the inhabitants have overcome the growing pains of their civilization...

[sitakali]

Sorry to take so long to reply. I don't know why I didn't initially.

I'm a lot like you - I take human suffering personally, and anybody who is apathetic about it, I react like they're being apathetic about me. I feel partially responsible for everybody - and yes, I am a privileged person, so I so have some responsibility - but I don't believe that torturing myself every day until I feel helpless is a good way of taking responsibility. There's an activist term called "burn-out," and I think I have it, even though I haven't really taken much action, except inside my head.

Your belief in reincarnation doesn't seem convenient, especially if your concern about becoming a destitute person in your next life drives you to action. As long as you don't believe (like some do!!) that unfortunate people deserve what they get because of their past life actions.

Confrontational but very compassionate

[anonymous]

Hope it got through.

Re: Confrontational but very compassionate

[sitakali]

He said he didn't feel it was confrontational at all, and asked for the research that I was referring to. I sent him dozens of journal article links, so hope that was enough.

[cobre_azul]

Well said, woman. It's wonderful to read such a thoughtful response to a thoughtless sentiment. I found myself feeling angry at his post, too.

[sitakali]

Thanks, I actually wrote, "I'm sorry but this made me so angry I can't respond," and then deleted it and wrote the above, because I thought maybe there was a chance I could get through to him. He seemed interested in what I had to say and asked for links to the research I was referring to. He's going through it right now, I hope it helps him change his views.

[cobre_azul]

I hope so too, and that he's not one of those dweebs who searches for flaws in research as "evidence" that it's weak and therefore his own, opposing views are "supported." >_