GLEE FIC: Identity (Prologue+1/8)
So, this is a new fic I've been working on for the glee-kink-meme. I've never done a prompt from there before but after following a link and browsing through the requests, I found a prompt that struck a chord with me. I should say that I don't normally write fics with non-con in them but it was specifically in the prompt so I wrote it (but not too graphically). I also seem to have a kink for mpreg lately :) And me being me, my short story immediately ballooned in length and it is now at least four parts long.
Anyway, read the summary, read the warnings, and if you still want to read it, then do so :)
Title: Identity ( formally: Life Is What You Make It)
Fandom: Glee
Summary: In the small sexist village, Kurt Hummel finds life difficult. He’s a man but constantly treated as a woman because of his not-straightforward gender. He wants to leave the village but Blaine Anderson wants him as a wife. Can they compromise their dreams without a lot of heartbreak?
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine, Burt/Elizabeth, Matthew/Mary Anderson, Puck/Quinn, Finn/Rachel, Brittany, Sam, OCs.
Categories: AU, drama, angst, H/C
Season/Spoilers: None
Rating: NC-17 (for triggery content)
Warnings: Non-con (sort of explicit), mpreg, intersex gender
Word count: approx 4,295 prologue + part 1 (13,400+ total so far) (ed: 28,129 words total)
Prompts: this prompt here, plus 'Early 20th century' on au_bingo card
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PROLOGUE:
“Life in Cloverfield in the early nineteen hundreds was simple. Originally settled by pioneers who wanted to live far away from everyone else, the village was stuck in the mid-nineteenth century. There were few carts for transport, no telegraphs, not even any electricity. Instead, people talked to each other, they played games, they worked hard in the field harvesting food for everyone to eat. Yes, life was indeed simple.
“The roles of men and women in the village were simple too. Men were the hunter/gatherers, the ones who did the hard work. The women of the village did the cooking, cleaning and sewing, as well as looking after the children. Everyone fit perfectly into one category or the other, and no-one ever complained about their roles.
“Until Kurt Hummel was born.
“The mid-wife noticed something strange when she held the newborn babe in her hands: Kurt had been born with two sets of genitals. The baby was obviously a boy… and just as obviously, a girl as well. She didn’t know what to think but she put it aside as she wrapped the baby in a blanket to deliver to its mother. This was something she would have to discuss with the parents later.
“Burt and Elizabeth Hummel, when they were told about their child, were understandably stunned. Neither of them knew what to think. All they had wanted was a healthy child, not… this. However, Elizabeth was the first to recover. She was the one to name the child Kurt and to label him as a boy. The mid-wife wasn’t impressed but she couldn’t go against the mother’s wishes.
“The council deliberated for three days over how Kurt should be raised before coming to a decision. Kurt would be placed in the male category until it became obvious which gender he actually was. Elizabeth was pleased but Burt still had his doubts.
“By the time Kurt was three, it became clear that although his features were slightly more masculine than feminine, his behaviour wasn’t. Kurt preferred to spend time playing with dolls instead of joining the boys in their rough-and-tumble games. Therefore, the council reconvened and decided to place Kurt in with the women.
“Over the next fifteen years, this caused a lot of trouble. The people in the village took a long time to get used to a boy performing womanly duties, especially when Kurt could do them better than the women. Technically, he was the best seamstress in the village, and could out-cook many of the women too. Elizabeth was so proud of him, as was Burt, but it made Kurt stand out as being wrong in such a conservative village.
“It was made worse by the fact that Kurt refused to acknowledge his feminine traits. He would always dress as a boy, despite the fact that he suffered through ‘that time of month’ like the women did. The names that the other children in the village called him hurt but he never outwardly acknowledged it, only letting the tears fall in the privacy of his home.
“By the time Kurt was eighteen, he had grown into a man. His facial features were still delicate, and his body was thin, but he was undoubtedly a man. And that presented a problem. In theory, he shouldn’t have been allowed to stay in the company of women since he was unmarried but he had never shown any signs of wanting to be more than friends with them. But he couldn’t be put into the company of men for he hadn’t the training or build. What were they going to do with him?
“The answer to that is where our story picks up…”
**********
PART 1:
All Blaine Anderson wanted was to get married. He wanted the whole romantic ideal - someone waiting for him when he got home from work, food cooked and clothes mended; someone who would take care of him and the children; someone whom he could talk to. There was only one slight problem.
He didn’t like women that way.
He had tried for years but he just couldn’t muster an interest in them. He liked boys. One boy in particular.
Blaine had watched Kurt for the past couple of years. He was fascinated by the boy and never teased him about doing women’s work. He had watched as the girls his age were chosen as wives and he saw how Kurt’s spirits sank with each choice. So Blaine knew there was only one choice for him that would comply with tradition and still be true to his longings.
He would marry Kurt.
Problem was, he didn’t really know Kurt. Boys were kept separate from girls from age thirteen, enforcing a strict look-but-don’t-touch policy that could only be broken when the boys had decided who they wanted to marry. Then permission had to be granted from the council and finally the boy would be free to seduce the girl he wanted; the girl got no say in the matter. He had to get her pregnant before they could marry though; that was tradition too, as it proved the match would be viable. Blaine wasn’t thrilled with that system but he had to abide by it.
Blaine was heading to the council this morning to put his case to them. If he was successful, then he would have to seduce Kurt and try to get him pregnant. Blaine didn’t know if that was possible but he really hoped it was because Kurt was the one for him; he didn’t want anyone else.
The thought that Kurt might not want him didn’t cross his mind.
**********
Kurt let his mind wander as he worked on crocheting a baby blanket. He so wanted to leave this village but one thing held him back: his parents. His father wasn’t in the best of health at the moment, and his mother needed the help to look after the other children. There had been another six after Kurt - four girls and two boys - and they were a handful. It often fell to Kurt to look after them while Elizabeth did the cooking or cleaning and while he adored his siblings, he wanted more out of life than this.
He didn’t want to be a house-wife and if he stayed in the village, that was what he would become. If one of the men was brave enough to marry him, that was. Kurt had noticed two boys watching him recently: Blaine Anderson, who was cute enough but annoyingly cheerful; and Dave Karofsky, who was big, intimidating, and frequently pushed the other boys around. If he had the choice, Kurt would choose Blaine but realistically, he didn’t want anyone. He wanted to get out of the village and go somewhere where he would have the ability to choose who he fell in love with.
For Kurt wanted love, not convenience. He knew his parents loved each other and he wanted that for himself. But in the village, because of the way courtships were carried out, there wasn’t usually a great deal of room for love. The women were married off to the first man who got them pregnant and that was it. They were stuck for life.
But he didn’t know how he could leave, not at the moment. He had no money of his own and no way of getting any because women weren’t supposed to have any, and he was considered a woman in most ways. When his father was a little better, Kurt would have to talk to him about leaving. Before it was too late.
Kurt looked over at his friends, the girls he had grown up with. He was the youngest of them and the only one without a husband or suitor. Quinn Puckerman was bouncing her baby girl, Beth, on her knee; she was married to the village bad boy, Noah. Rachel Hudson was showing off her rounded belly and wedding ring; she was only recently married to Finn, the tallest boy Kurt had ever seen. Rachel had set out to capture Finn through plenty of provocative looks and had succeeded. However, Kurt suspected that things weren’t exactly what she had expected.
The third girl was Brittany Pierce. She wasn’t overly bright, though she balanced that with being uncannily perceptive. Somehow, Brittany had managed not to fall pregnant yet despite having three suitors. The older women were beginning to talk but Kurt suspected that the men didn’t mind.
The stories they told of their first times - and subsequent times - were off-putting. Women had to submit to their suitor, whether they wanted to or not; it was supposed to be a privilege to be chosen. But to many of the girls, it was simply a duty. Kurt’s mother had told him that it could be good but only if one’s partner was willing to make it so. He wasn’t holding out much hope of finding someone like that for him.
An hour before dark, Kurt excused himself and headed back to his home, his shoes covered in dust from the dirt after only a few seconds. His mother would already be at home, likely cooking while watching the younger children play, and Kurt would be needed to assist. He didn’t mind too much, as he adored his family, but he wanted more out of life.
When he was pulled from the street between two houses, Kurt decided that he shouldn’t really tempt fate. He struggled to pull his arm out of the hold but was dragged along for several more metres. “Stop it!” he protested, trying to use his body to slow his captor down.
Surprisingly, the man did stop and Kurt finally realised who it was. Blaine. “What are you doing?” Kurt demanded as he pulled his arm free.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Blaine replied, suddenly a little nervous. He hadn’t really talked to Kurt since they were thirteen and he had to call on all of his courage to do this. “I want to marry you.”
“What?” Kurt was taken aback. “You don’t even know me,” he pointed out.
“I like the way you dress.” Even with the poor quality material that his clothes were made out of, Kurt still looked much better than any of the other men in the village.
Kurt shook his head. “That just superficial. You don’t know me. And I don’t know you.” And he didn’t want to; he didn’t want to know any of the men because then one of them might pick him.
“We’ll get to know each other,” Blaine replied; that was what usually happened after the initial seduction. They would take long walks, and share plenty of tales, and other things that couples did. He reached out to take Kurt’s hand. “I will make you happy, I promise.”
Kurt tried to pull his hand away but Blaine held it tightly.
“I don’t want to get married! To anyone! All I want is to leave here and live a life that isn’t determined by a group of old men who think they know what’s best for everyone.”
Blaine was taken aback by the vehemence in Kurt’s tone. He hadn’t thought of it that way before. But it still didn’t change the fact that he wanted Kurt and being here, in the other boy’s presence, was just reinforcing that fact. His body was demanding that he find somewhere private and seduce Kurt now!
The younger boy tried to resist when Blaine started dragging him away but he didn’t have the strength to do it. So Kurt was taken through the alleyway and down the next street to what he assumed was Blaine’s house.
All boys, when they became engaged men, were encouraged to move out and find or build their home somewhere in the village. Since that wasn’t Blaine yet, it was likely to be his parents’ house. It was small and old, and the garden was overgrown, but Kurt had to admit that the building had character. He would probably like it more, though, if he wasn’t about to be forcibly taken inside.
Blaine took Kurt in through the front door and through to his bedroom, causing the other boy to drop the bag he was carrying. There, he guided a still-resisting Kurt over to the bed, explaining that his parents weren’t home and therefore wouldn’t disturb them.
“No, I don’t want this!” Kurt protested but to no avail; Blaine was too strong for him. Before he knew it, Kurt was flat on his back and Blaine was lying half on top of him. “Get off me!” He wasn’t ready for this!
“I’m sorry, Kurt, I really am.” But Blaine was finding the presence of the other boy to be overwhelming. Ever since realising that he was attracted to boys, Blaine had felt various levels of desire but this… this was new. Every fibre of his body felt super aware of Kurt, of the lithe body beneath his. “I promise I’ll be gentle.”
Kurt felt tears come to his eyes. He really wasn’t ready for this. “Please don’t do this,” he pleaded, looking Blaine directly in the eyes. He was slightly scared by the look in the other boy’s eyes and he tried to push Blaine away again.
“It’ll be alright,” Blaine promised as he leaned down to kiss Kurt for the first time.
Kurt didn’t respond to the kiss even though he felt a strange warmth at the press of the lips against his. His first kiss wasn’t exactly what he had expected and he didn’t know what to do.
Blaine wasn’t exactly experience in kissing either but he had hoped that Kurt would respond a little more. Still, he had been told that most girls were reluctant and inexperienced their first time and if they objected, just to keep going because they would eventually enjoy it. Blaine felt guilty at seeing the tears in Kurt’s eyes but he trusted his friends’ advice. Kurt just needed to get used to it.
After a while, Blaine undid his trousers and then did the same to Kurt. The other boy started struggling again but Blaine persevered until they were both naked from the waist down. Kurt was beautiful, Blaine realised with a surge of desire. The slender body was beautifully proportioned, and the sight of Kurt’s small penis excited Blaine even more. He reached out to touch it, the first shaft he had truly looked at besides his own.
Kurt whimpered and attempted to move away from the intimate touch but Blaine was sitting on his thighs, so he tried to pull Blaine’s hand away. “Don’t touch me!”
“I won’t hurt you.” Blaine removed his hand and stared at Kurt’s face. He could see the anxiety there - he refused to admit that it might be fear - and he wanted to reassure the other boy but he didn’t want to stop seducing him. “I really like you, Kurt. And I don’t think I could stand it if someone else chose you.”
What could Kurt say to that except, “I don’t want anyone, Blaine.”
“I’ll change your mind,” Blaine promised. “You’ll see.” He shifted so that he was between Kurt’s legs and then bent them up so that he could see all of his new lover.
Kurt wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. No-one had ever seen his so intimately before and he didn’t like the feeling. It would be different if he loved Blaine but he didn’t; he didn’t even really know him. He felt a hand trace over his soft shaft and down into the folds of his vagina, and tried to move away from the touch that left strange tingles in its wake. “Blaine…”
“In a minute,” Blaine said absently as he looked at Kurt in wonder. It was so fascinating to seen the reason why, though Kurt was a boy, he had been put with the girls. “You’re so beautiful.”
“No, I’m not,” Kurt disagreed. No-one except his parents had ever told him that and he didn’t believe them because, well, they were his parents; they had to say that about him.
Blaine shifted his position and lined his hard shaft up with Kurt’s hole. He put his other hand on Kurt’s stomach to stop the other boy from squirming so much and then he pushed in.
“No, no, no-argh!!” Kurt shouted as pain shot through him. His maidenhead, he presumed, going by what his mother had told him in preparation for this day. Tears leaked from his eyes at the pain and at having the unfamiliar object inside him. “Blaine, stop!”
But Blaine was too focused on his own pleasure to listen. This was the first time he had ever made love with someone and the sensation was overwhelming. He slowly moved his erection in and out for a minute and then, as his desire built, his movements became faster.
Kurt bit his lip and turned his head away as Blaine pounded into his body. The pain was easing slightly and occasionally there seemed to be little sparks of something pleasurable but all he could think about was how big Blaine felt and why would women want to do this on a regular basis?
After a while, Blaine reached down and stroked Kurt’s flaccid penis. The feel of another man’s shaft in his hand, and his own encased in such warmth, was wonderful. He could feel Kurt’s shaft thicken slightly and he smiled to himself; he was giving the other boy pleasure. But that was secondary to the desire coursing through Blaine’s body, and he only lasted another thirty seconds before climaxing.
Kurt had just been starting to feel some pleasure from Blaine’s hand on him before the other boy stiffened and the hard shaft was pulsing inside him. The sensation was strange and he wished he could move but Blaine had just collapsed on top of him. So he waited, silent tears falling down his cheeks, until Blaine finally moved to the side and he was free.
Blaine didn’t even notice that Kurt had turned away. That had been… words couldn’t describe it! He felt so… so happy and wanted nothing more than to do it again with Kurt for the rest of their lives. Blaine rolled onto his side, wanting to share his happiness, and found himself looking at Kurt’s back. His eyes skimmed over the other boy’s body and realised that Kurt was curled up in a defensive position. “Kurt? What’s wrong?”
“You mean, apart from the fact that I didn’t want that or enjoy it?” Kurt bit out, not caring how Blaine might react to those words. He choked back a sob; he would not break down in front of Blaine.
Blaine reeled at the not-so-subtle accusation. Kurt hadn’t enjoyed it? “But I thought that stroking you--”
“You thought wrong,” Kurt didn’t even let him finish the sentence. “It might have helped if you’d thought of that from the start but you didn’t. You didn’t care that what you were doing might actually hurt.” The ache between his legs was not pleasant, and all he wanted to do was go home and cry.
Blaine could only stare as Kurt started getting dressed. He had hurt Kurt? How? More importantly, how could he fix it? Belatedly, he reached out and put a hand on Kurt’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.” And Kurt did actually know that. Blaine had been a gentleman throughout the whole thing despite being totally oblivious to what Kurt had or hadn’t wanted. “But you men are all the same. You’re taught that you can take whatever you want whether the other person is willing or not. And you might think you want to marry me but you don’t even know me. If you had taken the time to get to know me, then I might have been more willing to do this. But instead you’ve hurt me and you didn’t listen to me!”
“I…” Blaine looked down at the bed and saw a spot of blood on the blanket. Proof of Kurt’s virginity and proof that he had, indeed, hurt the man he wanted to marry. His shoulders fell. “I didn’t mean to,” he said quietly. “I just wanted to be with you.”
“Well, maybe next time you should ask and then listen to the answer,” Kurt stated as he pulled on his boots. “If you really want me, you’re going to have to prove it before I let you do anything like that again.” And maybe by that time, Kurt would have left the village.
“I will,” Blaine agreed. He would talk to Kurt and send him flowers, and all those other romantic type things that girls liked. “Do you want me to walk you home?”
“No.” It was bad enough that someone probably saw him with Blaine but to have the courtship confirmed by visiting Kurt’s home… No. He didn’t want that. “I’ll be fine.”
Blaine wasn’t happy about that but he decided not to disagree; he didn’t want Kurt to be mad at him for not listening. “Can I call on you tomorrow?” He realised belatedly that he shouldn’t have made that a question but it was too late to take it back.
“Not if you expect me in your bed,” Kurt replied shortly before finally turning to face Blaine. He was not going to be afraid of the boy who stole his virginity. “If you touch me again when I say not to, I will hurt you,” he threatened.
The expression on Kurt’s face made Blaine believe him. “I won’t.” He wanted Kurt to enjoy being with him as much as he had enjoyed what they had just done, and if that took a little wooing, then that was what he would do.
“Good.” Kurt turned and headed out the door before his courage left him.
Blaine lay back on the bed as his thoughts turned to how he could make Kurt love him.
Outside, Kurt hurried through the streets to his home, unable to look anyone in the eye. He was afraid they would all know what had happened and that he hadn’t submitted like girls were told they should. He wasn’t a girl but he was always treated as one and he had to admit, sometimes the line between the two became blurred. Why did men have to be such pigs! It was times like these he was glad that he was grouped with the women because at least they never tried to take someone against their will.
Upon entering the Hummel house, Kurt ignored his mother’s questions about being late and ran swiftly to the bedroom he shared with his brothers. Fortunately, they weren’t there and Kurt was free to fling himself onto the bed and start crying without anyone watching.
In the kitchen, Elizabeth stared after her eldest son in shock. Something bad had happened, she could tell, and she was very afraid of what it might be. Elizabeth wiped her hands on her apron, ordered her eldest daughter Annie to tend to the stove, and headed after Kurt.
When she heard the sobs, Elizabeth’s heart broke. Kurt was such a strong boy, enduring the taunts from others with a stoicism that Elizabeth herself wished she had, so this had to be worse. And unfortunately, she had a feeling what it was.
“Kurt?” Elizabeth said softly as she entered the bedroom. “What is it?”
“B-blaine,” Kurt managed to choke out in-between sobs.
“Oh sweetheart.” Elizabeth sat on the bed and took her son into her arms. She knew how much Kurt didn’t want to be chosen by anyone so that he could leave and find his own way in the world, and to have that dream shattered… “Did he lie with you?”
Kurt nodded and pressed himself closer to his mother, wanting to know that he was safe. “I told him to stop… but he didn’t… he… he wouldn’t listen to me!”
Elizabeth gently rocked Kurt and rubbed his back, trying to give him some measure of comfort. She had been fortunate; she had liked Burt and had accepted the way things had to be. Kurt, however, had always chafed against the restrictions and rules placed upon him.
“Did he hurt you?”
“A-a little. He.. he tried to be gentle but…” Kurt trailed off, unable to continue.
“The first time always hurts,” Elizabeth finished for him. “I know.” She hugged him closer.
They sat there in silence until Kurt’s tears finally stopped. He sat up, missing the warmth of his mother’s arms immediately, and wiped the moisture away. “I told Blaine that if he truly wants to marry me, he has to get to know me better before anything more can happen.”
Elizabeth smiled, so proud of her son. “Good for you. Maybe you and Blaine can set an example on how a courtship should really be conducted,” she praised. Not that she would change what happened to her but knowing what would happen to her daughters - and Kurt - Elizabeth didn’t want them to end up in a loveless marriage. “Now then,” she continued, “I’ll go get you some soup and then you can rest.”
Kurt shook his head. “I don’t want to rest. I need to keep busy.” If he rested, he would only think of what had happened and he didn’t want to do that.
Elizabeth was silent for a moment and then nodded. “Alright. But if you want some peace and quiet, you just come back here. Your brothers can sleep near the fireplace tonight.”
“Thank you.” Kurt hugged his mother again, so pleased that she understood what this meant to him. Now if only he could forget Blaine.
Part 2...
Anyway, read the summary, read the warnings, and if you still want to read it, then do so :)
Title: Identity ( formally: Life Is What You Make It)
Fandom: Glee
Summary: In the small sexist village, Kurt Hummel finds life difficult. He’s a man but constantly treated as a woman because of his not-straightforward gender. He wants to leave the village but Blaine Anderson wants him as a wife. Can they compromise their dreams without a lot of heartbreak?
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine, Burt/Elizabeth, Matthew/Mary Anderson, Puck/Quinn, Finn/Rachel, Brittany, Sam, OCs.
Categories: AU, drama, angst, H/C
Season/Spoilers: None
Rating: NC-17 (for triggery content)
Warnings: Non-con (sort of explicit), mpreg, intersex gender
Word count: approx 4,295 prologue + part 1 (13,400+ total so far) (ed: 28,129 words total)
Prompts: this prompt here, plus 'Early 20th century' on au_bingo card
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PROLOGUE:
“Life in Cloverfield in the early nineteen hundreds was simple. Originally settled by pioneers who wanted to live far away from everyone else, the village was stuck in the mid-nineteenth century. There were few carts for transport, no telegraphs, not even any electricity. Instead, people talked to each other, they played games, they worked hard in the field harvesting food for everyone to eat. Yes, life was indeed simple.
“The roles of men and women in the village were simple too. Men were the hunter/gatherers, the ones who did the hard work. The women of the village did the cooking, cleaning and sewing, as well as looking after the children. Everyone fit perfectly into one category or the other, and no-one ever complained about their roles.
“Until Kurt Hummel was born.
“The mid-wife noticed something strange when she held the newborn babe in her hands: Kurt had been born with two sets of genitals. The baby was obviously a boy… and just as obviously, a girl as well. She didn’t know what to think but she put it aside as she wrapped the baby in a blanket to deliver to its mother. This was something she would have to discuss with the parents later.
“Burt and Elizabeth Hummel, when they were told about their child, were understandably stunned. Neither of them knew what to think. All they had wanted was a healthy child, not… this. However, Elizabeth was the first to recover. She was the one to name the child Kurt and to label him as a boy. The mid-wife wasn’t impressed but she couldn’t go against the mother’s wishes.
“The council deliberated for three days over how Kurt should be raised before coming to a decision. Kurt would be placed in the male category until it became obvious which gender he actually was. Elizabeth was pleased but Burt still had his doubts.
“By the time Kurt was three, it became clear that although his features were slightly more masculine than feminine, his behaviour wasn’t. Kurt preferred to spend time playing with dolls instead of joining the boys in their rough-and-tumble games. Therefore, the council reconvened and decided to place Kurt in with the women.
“Over the next fifteen years, this caused a lot of trouble. The people in the village took a long time to get used to a boy performing womanly duties, especially when Kurt could do them better than the women. Technically, he was the best seamstress in the village, and could out-cook many of the women too. Elizabeth was so proud of him, as was Burt, but it made Kurt stand out as being wrong in such a conservative village.
“It was made worse by the fact that Kurt refused to acknowledge his feminine traits. He would always dress as a boy, despite the fact that he suffered through ‘that time of month’ like the women did. The names that the other children in the village called him hurt but he never outwardly acknowledged it, only letting the tears fall in the privacy of his home.
“By the time Kurt was eighteen, he had grown into a man. His facial features were still delicate, and his body was thin, but he was undoubtedly a man. And that presented a problem. In theory, he shouldn’t have been allowed to stay in the company of women since he was unmarried but he had never shown any signs of wanting to be more than friends with them. But he couldn’t be put into the company of men for he hadn’t the training or build. What were they going to do with him?
“The answer to that is where our story picks up…”
**********
PART 1:
All Blaine Anderson wanted was to get married. He wanted the whole romantic ideal - someone waiting for him when he got home from work, food cooked and clothes mended; someone who would take care of him and the children; someone whom he could talk to. There was only one slight problem.
He didn’t like women that way.
He had tried for years but he just couldn’t muster an interest in them. He liked boys. One boy in particular.
Blaine had watched Kurt for the past couple of years. He was fascinated by the boy and never teased him about doing women’s work. He had watched as the girls his age were chosen as wives and he saw how Kurt’s spirits sank with each choice. So Blaine knew there was only one choice for him that would comply with tradition and still be true to his longings.
He would marry Kurt.
Problem was, he didn’t really know Kurt. Boys were kept separate from girls from age thirteen, enforcing a strict look-but-don’t-touch policy that could only be broken when the boys had decided who they wanted to marry. Then permission had to be granted from the council and finally the boy would be free to seduce the girl he wanted; the girl got no say in the matter. He had to get her pregnant before they could marry though; that was tradition too, as it proved the match would be viable. Blaine wasn’t thrilled with that system but he had to abide by it.
Blaine was heading to the council this morning to put his case to them. If he was successful, then he would have to seduce Kurt and try to get him pregnant. Blaine didn’t know if that was possible but he really hoped it was because Kurt was the one for him; he didn’t want anyone else.
The thought that Kurt might not want him didn’t cross his mind.
**********
Kurt let his mind wander as he worked on crocheting a baby blanket. He so wanted to leave this village but one thing held him back: his parents. His father wasn’t in the best of health at the moment, and his mother needed the help to look after the other children. There had been another six after Kurt - four girls and two boys - and they were a handful. It often fell to Kurt to look after them while Elizabeth did the cooking or cleaning and while he adored his siblings, he wanted more out of life than this.
He didn’t want to be a house-wife and if he stayed in the village, that was what he would become. If one of the men was brave enough to marry him, that was. Kurt had noticed two boys watching him recently: Blaine Anderson, who was cute enough but annoyingly cheerful; and Dave Karofsky, who was big, intimidating, and frequently pushed the other boys around. If he had the choice, Kurt would choose Blaine but realistically, he didn’t want anyone. He wanted to get out of the village and go somewhere where he would have the ability to choose who he fell in love with.
For Kurt wanted love, not convenience. He knew his parents loved each other and he wanted that for himself. But in the village, because of the way courtships were carried out, there wasn’t usually a great deal of room for love. The women were married off to the first man who got them pregnant and that was it. They were stuck for life.
But he didn’t know how he could leave, not at the moment. He had no money of his own and no way of getting any because women weren’t supposed to have any, and he was considered a woman in most ways. When his father was a little better, Kurt would have to talk to him about leaving. Before it was too late.
Kurt looked over at his friends, the girls he had grown up with. He was the youngest of them and the only one without a husband or suitor. Quinn Puckerman was bouncing her baby girl, Beth, on her knee; she was married to the village bad boy, Noah. Rachel Hudson was showing off her rounded belly and wedding ring; she was only recently married to Finn, the tallest boy Kurt had ever seen. Rachel had set out to capture Finn through plenty of provocative looks and had succeeded. However, Kurt suspected that things weren’t exactly what she had expected.
The third girl was Brittany Pierce. She wasn’t overly bright, though she balanced that with being uncannily perceptive. Somehow, Brittany had managed not to fall pregnant yet despite having three suitors. The older women were beginning to talk but Kurt suspected that the men didn’t mind.
The stories they told of their first times - and subsequent times - were off-putting. Women had to submit to their suitor, whether they wanted to or not; it was supposed to be a privilege to be chosen. But to many of the girls, it was simply a duty. Kurt’s mother had told him that it could be good but only if one’s partner was willing to make it so. He wasn’t holding out much hope of finding someone like that for him.
An hour before dark, Kurt excused himself and headed back to his home, his shoes covered in dust from the dirt after only a few seconds. His mother would already be at home, likely cooking while watching the younger children play, and Kurt would be needed to assist. He didn’t mind too much, as he adored his family, but he wanted more out of life.
When he was pulled from the street between two houses, Kurt decided that he shouldn’t really tempt fate. He struggled to pull his arm out of the hold but was dragged along for several more metres. “Stop it!” he protested, trying to use his body to slow his captor down.
Surprisingly, the man did stop and Kurt finally realised who it was. Blaine. “What are you doing?” Kurt demanded as he pulled his arm free.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Blaine replied, suddenly a little nervous. He hadn’t really talked to Kurt since they were thirteen and he had to call on all of his courage to do this. “I want to marry you.”
“What?” Kurt was taken aback. “You don’t even know me,” he pointed out.
“I like the way you dress.” Even with the poor quality material that his clothes were made out of, Kurt still looked much better than any of the other men in the village.
Kurt shook his head. “That just superficial. You don’t know me. And I don’t know you.” And he didn’t want to; he didn’t want to know any of the men because then one of them might pick him.
“We’ll get to know each other,” Blaine replied; that was what usually happened after the initial seduction. They would take long walks, and share plenty of tales, and other things that couples did. He reached out to take Kurt’s hand. “I will make you happy, I promise.”
Kurt tried to pull his hand away but Blaine held it tightly.
“I don’t want to get married! To anyone! All I want is to leave here and live a life that isn’t determined by a group of old men who think they know what’s best for everyone.”
Blaine was taken aback by the vehemence in Kurt’s tone. He hadn’t thought of it that way before. But it still didn’t change the fact that he wanted Kurt and being here, in the other boy’s presence, was just reinforcing that fact. His body was demanding that he find somewhere private and seduce Kurt now!
The younger boy tried to resist when Blaine started dragging him away but he didn’t have the strength to do it. So Kurt was taken through the alleyway and down the next street to what he assumed was Blaine’s house.
All boys, when they became engaged men, were encouraged to move out and find or build their home somewhere in the village. Since that wasn’t Blaine yet, it was likely to be his parents’ house. It was small and old, and the garden was overgrown, but Kurt had to admit that the building had character. He would probably like it more, though, if he wasn’t about to be forcibly taken inside.
Blaine took Kurt in through the front door and through to his bedroom, causing the other boy to drop the bag he was carrying. There, he guided a still-resisting Kurt over to the bed, explaining that his parents weren’t home and therefore wouldn’t disturb them.
“No, I don’t want this!” Kurt protested but to no avail; Blaine was too strong for him. Before he knew it, Kurt was flat on his back and Blaine was lying half on top of him. “Get off me!” He wasn’t ready for this!
“I’m sorry, Kurt, I really am.” But Blaine was finding the presence of the other boy to be overwhelming. Ever since realising that he was attracted to boys, Blaine had felt various levels of desire but this… this was new. Every fibre of his body felt super aware of Kurt, of the lithe body beneath his. “I promise I’ll be gentle.”
Kurt felt tears come to his eyes. He really wasn’t ready for this. “Please don’t do this,” he pleaded, looking Blaine directly in the eyes. He was slightly scared by the look in the other boy’s eyes and he tried to push Blaine away again.
“It’ll be alright,” Blaine promised as he leaned down to kiss Kurt for the first time.
Kurt didn’t respond to the kiss even though he felt a strange warmth at the press of the lips against his. His first kiss wasn’t exactly what he had expected and he didn’t know what to do.
Blaine wasn’t exactly experience in kissing either but he had hoped that Kurt would respond a little more. Still, he had been told that most girls were reluctant and inexperienced their first time and if they objected, just to keep going because they would eventually enjoy it. Blaine felt guilty at seeing the tears in Kurt’s eyes but he trusted his friends’ advice. Kurt just needed to get used to it.
After a while, Blaine undid his trousers and then did the same to Kurt. The other boy started struggling again but Blaine persevered until they were both naked from the waist down. Kurt was beautiful, Blaine realised with a surge of desire. The slender body was beautifully proportioned, and the sight of Kurt’s small penis excited Blaine even more. He reached out to touch it, the first shaft he had truly looked at besides his own.
Kurt whimpered and attempted to move away from the intimate touch but Blaine was sitting on his thighs, so he tried to pull Blaine’s hand away. “Don’t touch me!”
“I won’t hurt you.” Blaine removed his hand and stared at Kurt’s face. He could see the anxiety there - he refused to admit that it might be fear - and he wanted to reassure the other boy but he didn’t want to stop seducing him. “I really like you, Kurt. And I don’t think I could stand it if someone else chose you.”
What could Kurt say to that except, “I don’t want anyone, Blaine.”
“I’ll change your mind,” Blaine promised. “You’ll see.” He shifted so that he was between Kurt’s legs and then bent them up so that he could see all of his new lover.
Kurt wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. No-one had ever seen his so intimately before and he didn’t like the feeling. It would be different if he loved Blaine but he didn’t; he didn’t even really know him. He felt a hand trace over his soft shaft and down into the folds of his vagina, and tried to move away from the touch that left strange tingles in its wake. “Blaine…”
“In a minute,” Blaine said absently as he looked at Kurt in wonder. It was so fascinating to seen the reason why, though Kurt was a boy, he had been put with the girls. “You’re so beautiful.”
“No, I’m not,” Kurt disagreed. No-one except his parents had ever told him that and he didn’t believe them because, well, they were his parents; they had to say that about him.
Blaine shifted his position and lined his hard shaft up with Kurt’s hole. He put his other hand on Kurt’s stomach to stop the other boy from squirming so much and then he pushed in.
“No, no, no-argh!!” Kurt shouted as pain shot through him. His maidenhead, he presumed, going by what his mother had told him in preparation for this day. Tears leaked from his eyes at the pain and at having the unfamiliar object inside him. “Blaine, stop!”
But Blaine was too focused on his own pleasure to listen. This was the first time he had ever made love with someone and the sensation was overwhelming. He slowly moved his erection in and out for a minute and then, as his desire built, his movements became faster.
Kurt bit his lip and turned his head away as Blaine pounded into his body. The pain was easing slightly and occasionally there seemed to be little sparks of something pleasurable but all he could think about was how big Blaine felt and why would women want to do this on a regular basis?
After a while, Blaine reached down and stroked Kurt’s flaccid penis. The feel of another man’s shaft in his hand, and his own encased in such warmth, was wonderful. He could feel Kurt’s shaft thicken slightly and he smiled to himself; he was giving the other boy pleasure. But that was secondary to the desire coursing through Blaine’s body, and he only lasted another thirty seconds before climaxing.
Kurt had just been starting to feel some pleasure from Blaine’s hand on him before the other boy stiffened and the hard shaft was pulsing inside him. The sensation was strange and he wished he could move but Blaine had just collapsed on top of him. So he waited, silent tears falling down his cheeks, until Blaine finally moved to the side and he was free.
Blaine didn’t even notice that Kurt had turned away. That had been… words couldn’t describe it! He felt so… so happy and wanted nothing more than to do it again with Kurt for the rest of their lives. Blaine rolled onto his side, wanting to share his happiness, and found himself looking at Kurt’s back. His eyes skimmed over the other boy’s body and realised that Kurt was curled up in a defensive position. “Kurt? What’s wrong?”
“You mean, apart from the fact that I didn’t want that or enjoy it?” Kurt bit out, not caring how Blaine might react to those words. He choked back a sob; he would not break down in front of Blaine.
Blaine reeled at the not-so-subtle accusation. Kurt hadn’t enjoyed it? “But I thought that stroking you--”
“You thought wrong,” Kurt didn’t even let him finish the sentence. “It might have helped if you’d thought of that from the start but you didn’t. You didn’t care that what you were doing might actually hurt.” The ache between his legs was not pleasant, and all he wanted to do was go home and cry.
Blaine could only stare as Kurt started getting dressed. He had hurt Kurt? How? More importantly, how could he fix it? Belatedly, he reached out and put a hand on Kurt’s arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.” And Kurt did actually know that. Blaine had been a gentleman throughout the whole thing despite being totally oblivious to what Kurt had or hadn’t wanted. “But you men are all the same. You’re taught that you can take whatever you want whether the other person is willing or not. And you might think you want to marry me but you don’t even know me. If you had taken the time to get to know me, then I might have been more willing to do this. But instead you’ve hurt me and you didn’t listen to me!”
“I…” Blaine looked down at the bed and saw a spot of blood on the blanket. Proof of Kurt’s virginity and proof that he had, indeed, hurt the man he wanted to marry. His shoulders fell. “I didn’t mean to,” he said quietly. “I just wanted to be with you.”
“Well, maybe next time you should ask and then listen to the answer,” Kurt stated as he pulled on his boots. “If you really want me, you’re going to have to prove it before I let you do anything like that again.” And maybe by that time, Kurt would have left the village.
“I will,” Blaine agreed. He would talk to Kurt and send him flowers, and all those other romantic type things that girls liked. “Do you want me to walk you home?”
“No.” It was bad enough that someone probably saw him with Blaine but to have the courtship confirmed by visiting Kurt’s home… No. He didn’t want that. “I’ll be fine.”
Blaine wasn’t happy about that but he decided not to disagree; he didn’t want Kurt to be mad at him for not listening. “Can I call on you tomorrow?” He realised belatedly that he shouldn’t have made that a question but it was too late to take it back.
“Not if you expect me in your bed,” Kurt replied shortly before finally turning to face Blaine. He was not going to be afraid of the boy who stole his virginity. “If you touch me again when I say not to, I will hurt you,” he threatened.
The expression on Kurt’s face made Blaine believe him. “I won’t.” He wanted Kurt to enjoy being with him as much as he had enjoyed what they had just done, and if that took a little wooing, then that was what he would do.
“Good.” Kurt turned and headed out the door before his courage left him.
Blaine lay back on the bed as his thoughts turned to how he could make Kurt love him.
Outside, Kurt hurried through the streets to his home, unable to look anyone in the eye. He was afraid they would all know what had happened and that he hadn’t submitted like girls were told they should. He wasn’t a girl but he was always treated as one and he had to admit, sometimes the line between the two became blurred. Why did men have to be such pigs! It was times like these he was glad that he was grouped with the women because at least they never tried to take someone against their will.
Upon entering the Hummel house, Kurt ignored his mother’s questions about being late and ran swiftly to the bedroom he shared with his brothers. Fortunately, they weren’t there and Kurt was free to fling himself onto the bed and start crying without anyone watching.
In the kitchen, Elizabeth stared after her eldest son in shock. Something bad had happened, she could tell, and she was very afraid of what it might be. Elizabeth wiped her hands on her apron, ordered her eldest daughter Annie to tend to the stove, and headed after Kurt.
When she heard the sobs, Elizabeth’s heart broke. Kurt was such a strong boy, enduring the taunts from others with a stoicism that Elizabeth herself wished she had, so this had to be worse. And unfortunately, she had a feeling what it was.
“Kurt?” Elizabeth said softly as she entered the bedroom. “What is it?”
“B-blaine,” Kurt managed to choke out in-between sobs.
“Oh sweetheart.” Elizabeth sat on the bed and took her son into her arms. She knew how much Kurt didn’t want to be chosen by anyone so that he could leave and find his own way in the world, and to have that dream shattered… “Did he lie with you?”
Kurt nodded and pressed himself closer to his mother, wanting to know that he was safe. “I told him to stop… but he didn’t… he… he wouldn’t listen to me!”
Elizabeth gently rocked Kurt and rubbed his back, trying to give him some measure of comfort. She had been fortunate; she had liked Burt and had accepted the way things had to be. Kurt, however, had always chafed against the restrictions and rules placed upon him.
“Did he hurt you?”
“A-a little. He.. he tried to be gentle but…” Kurt trailed off, unable to continue.
“The first time always hurts,” Elizabeth finished for him. “I know.” She hugged him closer.
They sat there in silence until Kurt’s tears finally stopped. He sat up, missing the warmth of his mother’s arms immediately, and wiped the moisture away. “I told Blaine that if he truly wants to marry me, he has to get to know me better before anything more can happen.”
Elizabeth smiled, so proud of her son. “Good for you. Maybe you and Blaine can set an example on how a courtship should really be conducted,” she praised. Not that she would change what happened to her but knowing what would happen to her daughters - and Kurt - Elizabeth didn’t want them to end up in a loveless marriage. “Now then,” she continued, “I’ll go get you some soup and then you can rest.”
Kurt shook his head. “I don’t want to rest. I need to keep busy.” If he rested, he would only think of what had happened and he didn’t want to do that.
Elizabeth was silent for a moment and then nodded. “Alright. But if you want some peace and quiet, you just come back here. Your brothers can sleep near the fireplace tonight.”
“Thank you.” Kurt hugged his mother again, so pleased that she understood what this meant to him. Now if only he could forget Blaine.
Part 2...