couples_therapy: Regret

[siryn_song]

Lorna answered something in a recent meme she did, and it really affected me. She said that if Henry died, she would have wanted to be pregnant, and JP asked why. I jumped into the thread to guess an answer, and then as soon as I did I regretted it. I didn’t want to force my own opinion on someone else, especially not about something as personal as

Comments

[siryn_song]

Don't "oh Terry" me. I didn't post this for sympathy. I just... I wanted to give another perspective. Lorna's not alone in that feeling and I guess I just wanted people to understand that.

[siryn_song]

Ok. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to come off as snappy. Question: do you think it would have been more or less heartbreaking if I actually was pregnant? If I was sitting at work with a big belly right now, morning sickness and all, and relying on all my friends to get me through this because he isn't here. I don't know which is harder.

Maybe it is a woman thing. I don't know. I just got what she meant.

[john_movinon]

I also want to say "Oh, Terry" except you might bight my head off too. Except that's how I'm feeling. I'm so sorry, for everything.

OOC: AWWS OH TERRY.

[siryn_song]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite his head off. I won't do the same to you. I'm sorry.

OOC: *bites* RAWR! :)

[john_movinon]

Oh, as if JP and I don't bite enough heads off. You're totally allowed to do that. You shouldn't be apologizing. But I still feel very sorry for you going through that whole thing.

ooc: *laughs* He's so bad at this. He's all, "I don't know what to say, but I want to say something!"

[siryn_song]

That's true.

Thank you.

OOC: He's so cute! I just want to cuddle him.

[tm_aurora]

I admire you a lot for posting this Terry.
You're a remarkable person.

[siryn_song]

Thank you.

I'm just, I'm happy to know that I'm not the only person who felt that way. I was afraid that it made me horribly selfish or something. Wanting a kid that would grow up without a father just so that I could keep a piece of him. Part of me maybe thought it made me a bad person. But other people feel that way, and they're not bad people.

How's your new dinosaur? I'm sorry, I forgot his full name. I know it was Professor and Smushbaby but I forgot the in the middle stuff. It's a long name. :)

[tm_aurora]

No need to thank me, it's the truth.

I don't think it makes you selfish or a bad person, I think it makes you a very compassionate person. If Jemaine died tomorrow I would want to keep a piece of him as well, I don't think I could handle having his baby though.
Maybe I would just keep Bret as a pet instead....

His full name is Professor Blue Smush DinoBaby, it is a long name but he's a very smart and distinguished Dino so it suits him. Don't you think? And he's good, he likes to sit on by my bedroom window. :)

[will_stiles]

I think you would be a great Mom, no matter what.

And I'm sorry. I wish I'd met him.

[siryn_song]

Thank you, Will. You're making me cry.

He was pretty cool.

[kara_marie]

I remember when I was pregnant being really scared but another part of me realised I was never alone. I can't explain it. I was terrified and yet felt really connected to someone for the first time ever. I don't know. I'm sorry.

[siryn_song]

I can imagine how that would feel. Obviously I don't know the actual feeling. I guess I wanted that connection, and that's why I clung to the idea of being pregnant.

Don't be sorry. You have a beautiful daughter and you are wonderful with her and you love her. And she loves you back. That means so much, and I'm so glad that you have that. And as for not being able to explain it, it's probably because you just have to experience it to understand. And maybe I will, someday. It just wasn't meant to be right now.

[kara_marie]

Haha. I'm not that wonderful, trust me.

I think this is a world in which everyone feels very disconnected all the time... I don't know.