Sirius Black Fest 2013: Fic: Stargate
Title: Stargate
Author: midlagedfangirl
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Sirius/Stargate cast
Rating: PG-13
Prompt #: 36 Sirius fell into the Veil and out of a Stargate. It's up to you which 'Gate (i.e. either of Earth's, Atlantis, Destiny, Chulak, Tok'ra homeworld, Athos, or some other planet/galaxy) he comes out of, and who, if any, are on the other side.
Word count: 3,400K
Warnings: Highlight to read. *slash content*
A/N: This is totally silly, and we’re going to pretend that the fight in the department of mysteries coincided with the second year the Stargate and SG-1 were in operations.
The Department of Mysteries was silent for a second, a brief lull in the fighting between the Death Eaters and Order members. The silence didn’t last long as the fighting resumed.
“Surely you can do better than that!” Sirius taunted as he nimbly leapt out of the way of a curse cast by his insane cousin Bellatrix Lestrange, returning fire quickly.
Sirius glared out at the assembled Death Eaters and snarled, “Stay away from my Godson!”
While he was distracted, Bellatrix jumped out and fired off a dark and potentially deadly curse. Sirius saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and tried to get out of its path. He was a second too slow, and looked down with a shocked expression at his midsection. He was knocked off balance, and tried to recover when the searing pain hit him. Unable to catch his balance, he felt a force that must be coming from the Veil that was right behind him pull him in and off his feet and he vanished out of sight.
The claxon horn blared out over the gate room as the voice over the loudspeaker announced “Incoming Wormhole! Security to the gate room!” as the enormous circle at the far side of the heavily armored room started to spin.
“It’s SG-1 General!” the Sergeant said to the bald, portly man standing next to him.”
“Thank you Sergeant.” The General replied, looking out the window that looked out over the gate room, watching the spinning Stargate finally lock and “flush sideways,” as O’Neill put it, signaling a completed wormhole.
First through the gate and down the ramp was Colonel Jack O’Neill, followed closely by Major Samantha Carter and Doctor Daniel Jackson. Pulling up the rear was the burly and bald Jaffa T’ealc. Halfway down, they stopped and looked back when they realized that the Stargate hadn’t disengaged and “turned off” after T’ealc exited.
Looking back at the shimmering surface of the still engaged Gate, Col. O’Neill looked at his team and then up at the window where the General and his staff sat. “Well, that’s…ODD? Dontcha think?” he said.
Before anyone could reply, the surface of the gate spit out a rapidly moving form with a wet squelching sound. A man with long, curly brown hair flew down the ramp, scattering SG1, and causing the heavily armed security force to surround him where he landed, rifles all pointed directly at him. The man looked up at them with huge eyes and a shocked look upon his handsome face. He tried to sit up when O’Neill yelled, “Don’t move!”
The man stopped, suddenly turning into a big black dog that looked up at Jack and whined, collapsing back down and turning into a man once again. The man fell heavily on his back with his eyes rolling back into his head, unconscious with a blackened smoking hole on his midsection. What looked like a stick rolled away from his body.
All hell broke loose around them and he could hear the sound of people calling for medical assistance and the heavy armored steel doors of the gate room opening. Jack. with a quizzical look on his face, looked at his team and said, “Well, that’s rather unusual…?”
“And you’re sure he’s human, Doctor?” General Hammond asked Dr. Frasier as they stood around their unexpected guests bed.
“Yes, General, as far as I can tell. There IS a small genetic anomaly, but I have no idea what it does. I’ve never seen it before. It’s in the same place as the “Ancient Gene” that Col. O’Neill has.” The doctor replied.
“Maybe that’s why he turned into a dog there on the ramp. Maybe it’s a ‘dog gene.’” O’Neill said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m just sayin’. We’ve seen a lot of wild things going through the gate, but I’ve gotta admit, this is the first time I’ve ever had a man turn into a dog…”
“Now Jack, that’s not quite true. Remember PXY-887 and Tonane. That wolf, T’akaya, was a man.” Daniel Jackson said, a thoughtful look on his face.
“Daniel, T’akaya was wolf, not a dog, and besides, he was an ALIEN - as in not-like-human-only-kinda-shaped-like-us. Remember, they had those gill things on their faces instead of noses? Besides, he only looked like a wolf so that Tonane’s people would be comfortable with them!” Jack answered back. “I still think it’s a dog gene.”
Major Carter and T’ealc looked at each other and smiled. It was a typical Jack-and-Daniel discussion.
“Well, Doctor, you and Major Carter continue looking into it.” The General said. “What about his other injuries? Will he survive?”
“General, his injury is severe but I don’t think it’s fatal. I’ve got him in a medical coma right now to speed healing. I have no idea what caused the wound. It reminds me a little bit of a staff blast, but I get the idea it could be from a much more powerful and precise weapon. By all rights, it should have cut him in half. Instead, it looks like it was intended to be incredibly painful before it was fatal. It’s very nasty. He’s lucky that there was probably an unintended side effect. It cauterized the flesh when it inflicted the wound giving me time to stop the bleeding before he bled out. If not for that, there’s no way I could have saved him.” Dr. Frasier explained.
“How long do you think before we can speak to him, Doctor?” the General asked.
“Like I said General, I’ve got him in a medical coma. However, the readings I’m getting suggest that I won’t have to keep him in it for as long as I thought I would. He’s healing quite quickly. Not as fast as if he had a symbiote, but faster than you and I would. However, I wouldn’t imagine I would even try to bring him out of it before tomorrow morning.”
“Ok Doctor, keep me informed. Col. O’Neill, see if you and you team can figure out where he came from. I don’t like unauthorized people flying in through our Gate from God knows where.” The General said.
“Right on it, Sir.” Jack replied as they all left the strangers bedside.
The next morning Jack was down at the stranger’s bedside with T’ealc. “According to Doc Frasier, she’s stopped giving him whatever it is that’s she’s been giving him to keep him unconscious. She figures he should wake up sometime early this afternoon. She says he’s a lot better, healing really fast. Not as fast as Junior heals you, but fast.” He said to T’ealc.
“Has Major Carter any idea where he might have come from, O’Neill?” T’ealc asked.
“Not a clue. We looked at all the readings and there’s nada. Just a weird power surge before the Gate spit him out at us. You think he could have been on the planet?”
“But I was the last one through the Gate, O’Neill. He was not behind us. I was very careful.” T’ealc told him seriously.
“I don’t doubt you, T. This is another one of those weird ass things we can’t explain. Makes me want to call Thor and see if our little buddies have any clues for us.” Jack answered. “His clothes and appearance gave us no real clues. I mean, his hair and beard look they’re from the 70’s but his clothes could be from the 1970’s and the 1870’s both. Just odd. Very odd. And that damn stick he had with him. Carter has taken all kinds of readings on the thing, nothing. The only thing that we know for sure is that it’s made of wood with something biological that Carter hasn’t identified yet in the middle. That and when I picked it up the damn thing sparked and shocked me!” Jack told him. “Didn’t do a thing to Daniel or Carter, but it shocks ME! What’s up with that?
“It did not have any reaction when I picked it up either O’Neill.” T’ealc said, looking at Jack with a straight face.
“Figures.” Jack grumbled.
Jack and T’ealc didn’t notice that while they were talking, their guest had opened his eyes. Janet Fraiser walked in just as he shifted back into a huge black dog again. The dog was looking around and scenting frantically, a low growl coming from his chest. Then the dog suddenly seemed to get a good whiff of Jack.
“Oh, goody, he’s dog boy again!” Jack explained as the dog leaped off the table and stood up on his hind legs, wrapped his front legs around Jack’s thigh, and started frantically humping Jack’s leg.
“What in the HELL…?” Jack shouted as he tried to grab the obviously excited dog by the scruff and pull him off.
“I believe he is attempting to copulate with your leg O’Neill.” T’ealc said with a straight face.
“Ya, T, I can see that! Help me get him off my leg, will you!” Jack snarled.
“Dogs do that occasionally on Chulac. Do they not exhibit the same behavior here on Earth? It is assumed to be a dominance issue - and possibly attraction.” T’ealc continued with a small evil smirk, clearly not feeling too bad for his friend.
“Well, I’ll be damned if he’s gonna DOMINATE ME! And as for the attraction, I’m flattered but HELP ME GET HIM….oh for cryin’ out loud, look at my pants!” Jack growled.
“He appears to have ejaculated on your leg, O’Neill. He should release you now that he has established his dominance…and satisfied his lust.” T’ealc continued, keeping a straight face but flashing a quick smirk at Dr. Fraiser when Jack looked down.
“I can see that T, thank you so very much for helping me while this MUTT was assaulting me!” Jack said under his breath. The dog released his leg, looked up at him with a look of adoration, and passed out on the floor again.
Janet and an orderly picked the unconscious man up and put him back in the bed. “Put a collar and leash on him, will you Doc, in case he wakes up and changes into a dog again and gets any ideas!”
The man opened his eyes slowly again looking at T’ealc and then Janet, breaking out into a big grin when his eyes rested on Jack. “Well, hello there! Where am I? Last I remember I was in the Department of Mysteries and Bellatrix threw one of her crazy dark spells at me. I felt like I had been punched in the gut, lost my balance, and everything went black. Then I had this really great erotic dream involving you, my handsome friend. I’d be much obliged if you would tell me what’s going on!”
“Look you, just tell us where you came from!” Jack groused. “Be serious!”
“I am being Sirius. I cannot be anything other than Sirius. Now please tell me where I am!” Sirius said, smiling but looking frustrated.
“Funny, very funny. Just tell us where you’re from and why you’re here. And be serious dammit!” Jack growled.
“I’m Sirius Black…who are you? Why don’t YOU be Sirius!” Sirius answered.
“I Am being serious…who ARE you then?” Jack yelled.
I’m Sirius…Black! You’re not being serious!” Sirius snarled back.
“I’m serious too! Serious, Jack!” Jack exhaled and ran his hands through his hair. “OK, lets both calm down and start over. What is your name?”
“I told you. Sirius. Sirius Black! Now, what is yours?” Sirius answered.
“You’re folks named you Serious? Seriously? Sorry, couldn’t help it.” Jack said.
“Yes, considering my father’s name was Orion, it seems perfectly rational to me. Probably the most rational thing the evil bastard did in his life.” Sirius said.
“Ah, SIRIUS! The DOG star! That’s rather appropriate, dontcha think?” Jack said. “So tell me, Mr. Black, do you make it a habit to turn into a dog and assault people’s leg who you’ve just met. We hadn’t even exchanged names. You could have bought me a drink first! I expect flowers now! At least!” Jack said flippantly. “By the way, my names O’Neill. Colonel Jack O’Neill.”
“Pleasure.” Said Sirius, shaking Jack’s hand. “I came from the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. In London. I was in a battle with the Death Eaters, and my crazy cousin Bellatrix sent a dark curse my way and knocked me through the veil. As well as trying to disembowel me. Honestly, that’s all I remember before my lovely dream…and waking up here with you chaps. By the way, did you happen to see my wand? It would be a bloody pain in the arse if I’ve lost it!”
“Wand? You mean that stick? That thing shocked me! Is it a weapon?” Jack exclaimed.
“Well, I suppose you could call it a stick. I take it you’re muggles?” Sirius said.
“What in the hell is a muggle? We’re US Air Force officers. Well, most of us are anyway. T’ealc is…not in the Air Force, but he’s on my team. And then there’s Daniel…but back to my original question. What’s a muggle?” Jack said.
“A muggle is someone who doesn’t have magical abilities. I’m assuming you don’t, or you would have recognized a wand and not handled mine incorrectly.”
“Magic? As in Hocus-pocus, pull-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat stuff? You’re joking, right? What is it you British guys say ‘pull the other one, it’s got bells on!’” was Jack’s incredulous comment.
“O’Neill, might I remind you that the technology of the Goauld appeared to my people to be magic. Some still believe it to be so. Could not what this man calls magic be a technology or ability that has evolved in humans over the years, such as the modifications that were made to my people to enable them to carry a symbiote? And now, as part of that evolutionary process, without one or without the support of Trutonin, we die?” T’ealc said seriously.
“You’ve got a point there, T. Anyway, Sirius, you said you fell through a veil after you got cursed and ended up coming out of my Stargate?”
“That is correct. The veil is a portway between this world and the afterlife. At least that’s what everyone in my world believes. It has always been thought that if you pass through the veil, you are dead. I’m obviously not dead, so either something happened to prevent the veil from operating as it usually does, or we are totally ignorant of it’s true function. Either one could be correct. I’m grateful no matter what. And I wish to express my gratitude for the medical care I have obviously received. I’m sure you have helped keep me alive, and for that I thank you. You have also exposed another misconception my people have, that all muggle medicine is barbaric and archaic. It does not appear to be either.”
“Thank you Mr. Black.” Said Dr. Fraiser. “We attempt to heal, not harm, and we’ve come a long way from the days of leeches and blood letting. However we do have the most up to date equipment and training available here. I’m glad we were able to be of assistance. Now Colonel, Mr. Black needs to rest now. I’m sure General Hammond will have questions for him later. Perhaps you could continue then?”
“I suppose so. As long as you promise not to try to leave yet.” Jack said with a smile.
“I doubt I could get far if I tried. I don’t think that I did myself any favors when in my dog form. Besides, you have my wand, and I won’t leave without that.”
“Yes, we need to talk about your dog form…among other things. Rest now. Talk later.” Jack said as he left.
T’ealc gave Sirius a short bow and followed Jack out of the infirmary.
“So tell me about this Colonel O’Neill Doctor.” Sirius said as she checked his vitals and assured that he hadn’t pulled any stitches. Is he married? Seeing anyone? He’s certainly fit, isn’t he?”
One week later Sirius was finally released from the infirmary. He had spent several days being “debriefed” by General Hammond and the SG1 team. (He personally thought of it more as a friendly interrogation, but he guessed he couldn’t blame them, really.) The General decided that Sirius was no threat to security and told him he was free to leave whenever the Doctor said he was well enough to be released.
Daniel had been kind enough to give him a ride to the local wizarding quarter once he found out where it was. Between still healing and not really knowing where he was going, apparating wouldn’t be a very good idea. A quick trip to the bank and a couple of stops later and he was waiting outside Jack’s house.
Jack pulled up after work and saw Sirius sitting on his porch, grinning.
“I thought you left, back to England or turned into a dog and ran away or something. Pretty damn rude to leave without saying goodbye if you ask me.” Jack grumbled as he walked up.
“Daniel was kind enough to give me a ride to help me arrange things. I ran a few errands, arranged for a portkey and then decided to come here to wait for you. You certainly took long enough, you know. I was getting bored!” Sirius said with a rather flirtatious toss of his head.
“Sorry there, dog boy, but some of us have to work for a living. I can’t survive just by waving a stick around and having everything I want appear!”
“There’s a little bit more to it than that, but I’ll skip Wizarding for Muggles 101. Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Sirius replied.
“You’re not going to turn into a dog again and molest my leg are you?” Jack asked, opening the door and gesturing for Sirius to enter.
“I promise I won’t turn into a dog and molest your leg. Besides, there’s much more interesting parts of you I’d rather molest, and I certainly don’t wish to do it as a dog!” Sirius replied as he sauntered into the house. “Oh, by the way, these are for you.” He pulled out his wand and flicked it. A vase of long stemmed red roses appeared, along with a bottle of very expensive fire whiskey, handing both to Jack.
“Ah, you were paying attention, then! Very lovely, thank you. A drink and flowers, things are looking up. But what is this then, I’m not familiar with this, ah, “vintage.” What, pray tell, is “Old Ogden’s Finest Firewhiskey?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s the finest firewhiskey money can buy, I’ll have you know. And firewhiskey is rather like the muggle version of whiskey, but with more of a kick and a bit of a burn as it goes down. Where’s the glasses? Shall we drink to the beginning of a wonderful relationship, hmm?” Sirius said to Jack through half closed eyes.
“Sure of yourself, aren’t you, dog boy? Although you’re a fine specimen of a, well, whatever you are…”
“Wizard, Jack. I’m a wizard.”
“A fine specimen of a wizard then. But what makes you think I want to become another notch on your stick?”
“It’s a wand Jack, not a stick.”
“Whatever… But I’ve given up one-night stands. At my age and after everything I’ve seen, it isn’t worth it if you’ll leave and I’ll never see you again. Best to avoid potential entanglements and all that.”
“Who said you’ll never see me again? I can come and go like that, Jack.” Sirius said, snapping his fingers. “Why don’t we see where things take us, hm? I can leave, or not, whenever I want.”
Jack wrapped his arms around Sirius neck and asked, “Isn’t there someone back there waiting for you? I don’t want another person with a stick popping up all pissed off at me.” He whispered, kissing Sirius’ forehead.
“I have a couple of people I need to write and tell I’m alright, but no, there’s no one with a stick who will show up ‘pissed off’ as you put it. Besides, don’t want to show me what you can do with YOUR magic wand?” he purred, wrapping his arms around Jack in turn.
“Shut up, Dog Boy, and I’ll show you my magic wand.” Jack growled, swallowing his response with a kiss.
Author: midlagedfangirl
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Sirius/Stargate cast
Rating: PG-13
Prompt #: 36 Sirius fell into the Veil and out of a Stargate. It's up to you which 'Gate (i.e. either of Earth's, Atlantis, Destiny, Chulak, Tok'ra homeworld, Athos, or some other planet/galaxy) he comes out of, and who, if any, are on the other side.
Word count: 3,400K
Warnings: Highlight to read. *slash content*
A/N: This is totally silly, and we’re going to pretend that the fight in the department of mysteries coincided with the second year the Stargate and SG-1 were in operations.
The Department of Mysteries was silent for a second, a brief lull in the fighting between the Death Eaters and Order members. The silence didn’t last long as the fighting resumed.
“Surely you can do better than that!” Sirius taunted as he nimbly leapt out of the way of a curse cast by his insane cousin Bellatrix Lestrange, returning fire quickly.
Sirius glared out at the assembled Death Eaters and snarled, “Stay away from my Godson!”
While he was distracted, Bellatrix jumped out and fired off a dark and potentially deadly curse. Sirius saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and tried to get out of its path. He was a second too slow, and looked down with a shocked expression at his midsection. He was knocked off balance, and tried to recover when the searing pain hit him. Unable to catch his balance, he felt a force that must be coming from the Veil that was right behind him pull him in and off his feet and he vanished out of sight.
The claxon horn blared out over the gate room as the voice over the loudspeaker announced “Incoming Wormhole! Security to the gate room!” as the enormous circle at the far side of the heavily armored room started to spin.
“It’s SG-1 General!” the Sergeant said to the bald, portly man standing next to him.”
“Thank you Sergeant.” The General replied, looking out the window that looked out over the gate room, watching the spinning Stargate finally lock and “flush sideways,” as O’Neill put it, signaling a completed wormhole.
First through the gate and down the ramp was Colonel Jack O’Neill, followed closely by Major Samantha Carter and Doctor Daniel Jackson. Pulling up the rear was the burly and bald Jaffa T’ealc. Halfway down, they stopped and looked back when they realized that the Stargate hadn’t disengaged and “turned off” after T’ealc exited.
Looking back at the shimmering surface of the still engaged Gate, Col. O’Neill looked at his team and then up at the window where the General and his staff sat. “Well, that’s…ODD? Dontcha think?” he said.
Before anyone could reply, the surface of the gate spit out a rapidly moving form with a wet squelching sound. A man with long, curly brown hair flew down the ramp, scattering SG1, and causing the heavily armed security force to surround him where he landed, rifles all pointed directly at him. The man looked up at them with huge eyes and a shocked look upon his handsome face. He tried to sit up when O’Neill yelled, “Don’t move!”
The man stopped, suddenly turning into a big black dog that looked up at Jack and whined, collapsing back down and turning into a man once again. The man fell heavily on his back with his eyes rolling back into his head, unconscious with a blackened smoking hole on his midsection. What looked like a stick rolled away from his body.
All hell broke loose around them and he could hear the sound of people calling for medical assistance and the heavy armored steel doors of the gate room opening. Jack. with a quizzical look on his face, looked at his team and said, “Well, that’s rather unusual…?”
“And you’re sure he’s human, Doctor?” General Hammond asked Dr. Frasier as they stood around their unexpected guests bed.
“Yes, General, as far as I can tell. There IS a small genetic anomaly, but I have no idea what it does. I’ve never seen it before. It’s in the same place as the “Ancient Gene” that Col. O’Neill has.” The doctor replied.
“Maybe that’s why he turned into a dog there on the ramp. Maybe it’s a ‘dog gene.’” O’Neill said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’m just sayin’. We’ve seen a lot of wild things going through the gate, but I’ve gotta admit, this is the first time I’ve ever had a man turn into a dog…”
“Now Jack, that’s not quite true. Remember PXY-887 and Tonane. That wolf, T’akaya, was a man.” Daniel Jackson said, a thoughtful look on his face.
“Daniel, T’akaya was wolf, not a dog, and besides, he was an ALIEN - as in not-like-human-only-kinda-shaped-like-us. Remember, they had those gill things on their faces instead of noses? Besides, he only looked like a wolf so that Tonane’s people would be comfortable with them!” Jack answered back. “I still think it’s a dog gene.”
Major Carter and T’ealc looked at each other and smiled. It was a typical Jack-and-Daniel discussion.
“Well, Doctor, you and Major Carter continue looking into it.” The General said. “What about his other injuries? Will he survive?”
“General, his injury is severe but I don’t think it’s fatal. I’ve got him in a medical coma right now to speed healing. I have no idea what caused the wound. It reminds me a little bit of a staff blast, but I get the idea it could be from a much more powerful and precise weapon. By all rights, it should have cut him in half. Instead, it looks like it was intended to be incredibly painful before it was fatal. It’s very nasty. He’s lucky that there was probably an unintended side effect. It cauterized the flesh when it inflicted the wound giving me time to stop the bleeding before he bled out. If not for that, there’s no way I could have saved him.” Dr. Frasier explained.
“How long do you think before we can speak to him, Doctor?” the General asked.
“Like I said General, I’ve got him in a medical coma. However, the readings I’m getting suggest that I won’t have to keep him in it for as long as I thought I would. He’s healing quite quickly. Not as fast as if he had a symbiote, but faster than you and I would. However, I wouldn’t imagine I would even try to bring him out of it before tomorrow morning.”
“Ok Doctor, keep me informed. Col. O’Neill, see if you and you team can figure out where he came from. I don’t like unauthorized people flying in through our Gate from God knows where.” The General said.
“Right on it, Sir.” Jack replied as they all left the strangers bedside.
The next morning Jack was down at the stranger’s bedside with T’ealc. “According to Doc Frasier, she’s stopped giving him whatever it is that’s she’s been giving him to keep him unconscious. She figures he should wake up sometime early this afternoon. She says he’s a lot better, healing really fast. Not as fast as Junior heals you, but fast.” He said to T’ealc.
“Has Major Carter any idea where he might have come from, O’Neill?” T’ealc asked.
“Not a clue. We looked at all the readings and there’s nada. Just a weird power surge before the Gate spit him out at us. You think he could have been on the planet?”
“But I was the last one through the Gate, O’Neill. He was not behind us. I was very careful.” T’ealc told him seriously.
“I don’t doubt you, T. This is another one of those weird ass things we can’t explain. Makes me want to call Thor and see if our little buddies have any clues for us.” Jack answered. “His clothes and appearance gave us no real clues. I mean, his hair and beard look they’re from the 70’s but his clothes could be from the 1970’s and the 1870’s both. Just odd. Very odd. And that damn stick he had with him. Carter has taken all kinds of readings on the thing, nothing. The only thing that we know for sure is that it’s made of wood with something biological that Carter hasn’t identified yet in the middle. That and when I picked it up the damn thing sparked and shocked me!” Jack told him. “Didn’t do a thing to Daniel or Carter, but it shocks ME! What’s up with that?
“It did not have any reaction when I picked it up either O’Neill.” T’ealc said, looking at Jack with a straight face.
“Figures.” Jack grumbled.
Jack and T’ealc didn’t notice that while they were talking, their guest had opened his eyes. Janet Fraiser walked in just as he shifted back into a huge black dog again. The dog was looking around and scenting frantically, a low growl coming from his chest. Then the dog suddenly seemed to get a good whiff of Jack.
“Oh, goody, he’s dog boy again!” Jack explained as the dog leaped off the table and stood up on his hind legs, wrapped his front legs around Jack’s thigh, and started frantically humping Jack’s leg.
“What in the HELL…?” Jack shouted as he tried to grab the obviously excited dog by the scruff and pull him off.
“I believe he is attempting to copulate with your leg O’Neill.” T’ealc said with a straight face.
“Ya, T, I can see that! Help me get him off my leg, will you!” Jack snarled.
“Dogs do that occasionally on Chulac. Do they not exhibit the same behavior here on Earth? It is assumed to be a dominance issue - and possibly attraction.” T’ealc continued with a small evil smirk, clearly not feeling too bad for his friend.
“Well, I’ll be damned if he’s gonna DOMINATE ME! And as for the attraction, I’m flattered but HELP ME GET HIM….oh for cryin’ out loud, look at my pants!” Jack growled.
“He appears to have ejaculated on your leg, O’Neill. He should release you now that he has established his dominance…and satisfied his lust.” T’ealc continued, keeping a straight face but flashing a quick smirk at Dr. Fraiser when Jack looked down.
“I can see that T, thank you so very much for helping me while this MUTT was assaulting me!” Jack said under his breath. The dog released his leg, looked up at him with a look of adoration, and passed out on the floor again.
Janet and an orderly picked the unconscious man up and put him back in the bed. “Put a collar and leash on him, will you Doc, in case he wakes up and changes into a dog again and gets any ideas!”
The man opened his eyes slowly again looking at T’ealc and then Janet, breaking out into a big grin when his eyes rested on Jack. “Well, hello there! Where am I? Last I remember I was in the Department of Mysteries and Bellatrix threw one of her crazy dark spells at me. I felt like I had been punched in the gut, lost my balance, and everything went black. Then I had this really great erotic dream involving you, my handsome friend. I’d be much obliged if you would tell me what’s going on!”
“Look you, just tell us where you came from!” Jack groused. “Be serious!”
“I am being Sirius. I cannot be anything other than Sirius. Now please tell me where I am!” Sirius said, smiling but looking frustrated.
“Funny, very funny. Just tell us where you’re from and why you’re here. And be serious dammit!” Jack growled.
“I’m Sirius Black…who are you? Why don’t YOU be Sirius!” Sirius answered.
“I Am being serious…who ARE you then?” Jack yelled.
I’m Sirius…Black! You’re not being serious!” Sirius snarled back.
“I’m serious too! Serious, Jack!” Jack exhaled and ran his hands through his hair. “OK, lets both calm down and start over. What is your name?”
“I told you. Sirius. Sirius Black! Now, what is yours?” Sirius answered.
“You’re folks named you Serious? Seriously? Sorry, couldn’t help it.” Jack said.
“Yes, considering my father’s name was Orion, it seems perfectly rational to me. Probably the most rational thing the evil bastard did in his life.” Sirius said.
“Ah, SIRIUS! The DOG star! That’s rather appropriate, dontcha think?” Jack said. “So tell me, Mr. Black, do you make it a habit to turn into a dog and assault people’s leg who you’ve just met. We hadn’t even exchanged names. You could have bought me a drink first! I expect flowers now! At least!” Jack said flippantly. “By the way, my names O’Neill. Colonel Jack O’Neill.”
“Pleasure.” Said Sirius, shaking Jack’s hand. “I came from the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. In London. I was in a battle with the Death Eaters, and my crazy cousin Bellatrix sent a dark curse my way and knocked me through the veil. As well as trying to disembowel me. Honestly, that’s all I remember before my lovely dream…and waking up here with you chaps. By the way, did you happen to see my wand? It would be a bloody pain in the arse if I’ve lost it!”
“Wand? You mean that stick? That thing shocked me! Is it a weapon?” Jack exclaimed.
“Well, I suppose you could call it a stick. I take it you’re muggles?” Sirius said.
“What in the hell is a muggle? We’re US Air Force officers. Well, most of us are anyway. T’ealc is…not in the Air Force, but he’s on my team. And then there’s Daniel…but back to my original question. What’s a muggle?” Jack said.
“A muggle is someone who doesn’t have magical abilities. I’m assuming you don’t, or you would have recognized a wand and not handled mine incorrectly.”
“Magic? As in Hocus-pocus, pull-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat stuff? You’re joking, right? What is it you British guys say ‘pull the other one, it’s got bells on!’” was Jack’s incredulous comment.
“O’Neill, might I remind you that the technology of the Goauld appeared to my people to be magic. Some still believe it to be so. Could not what this man calls magic be a technology or ability that has evolved in humans over the years, such as the modifications that were made to my people to enable them to carry a symbiote? And now, as part of that evolutionary process, without one or without the support of Trutonin, we die?” T’ealc said seriously.
“You’ve got a point there, T. Anyway, Sirius, you said you fell through a veil after you got cursed and ended up coming out of my Stargate?”
“That is correct. The veil is a portway between this world and the afterlife. At least that’s what everyone in my world believes. It has always been thought that if you pass through the veil, you are dead. I’m obviously not dead, so either something happened to prevent the veil from operating as it usually does, or we are totally ignorant of it’s true function. Either one could be correct. I’m grateful no matter what. And I wish to express my gratitude for the medical care I have obviously received. I’m sure you have helped keep me alive, and for that I thank you. You have also exposed another misconception my people have, that all muggle medicine is barbaric and archaic. It does not appear to be either.”
“Thank you Mr. Black.” Said Dr. Fraiser. “We attempt to heal, not harm, and we’ve come a long way from the days of leeches and blood letting. However we do have the most up to date equipment and training available here. I’m glad we were able to be of assistance. Now Colonel, Mr. Black needs to rest now. I’m sure General Hammond will have questions for him later. Perhaps you could continue then?”
“I suppose so. As long as you promise not to try to leave yet.” Jack said with a smile.
“I doubt I could get far if I tried. I don’t think that I did myself any favors when in my dog form. Besides, you have my wand, and I won’t leave without that.”
“Yes, we need to talk about your dog form…among other things. Rest now. Talk later.” Jack said as he left.
T’ealc gave Sirius a short bow and followed Jack out of the infirmary.
“So tell me about this Colonel O’Neill Doctor.” Sirius said as she checked his vitals and assured that he hadn’t pulled any stitches. Is he married? Seeing anyone? He’s certainly fit, isn’t he?”
One week later Sirius was finally released from the infirmary. He had spent several days being “debriefed” by General Hammond and the SG1 team. (He personally thought of it more as a friendly interrogation, but he guessed he couldn’t blame them, really.) The General decided that Sirius was no threat to security and told him he was free to leave whenever the Doctor said he was well enough to be released.
Daniel had been kind enough to give him a ride to the local wizarding quarter once he found out where it was. Between still healing and not really knowing where he was going, apparating wouldn’t be a very good idea. A quick trip to the bank and a couple of stops later and he was waiting outside Jack’s house.
Jack pulled up after work and saw Sirius sitting on his porch, grinning.
“I thought you left, back to England or turned into a dog and ran away or something. Pretty damn rude to leave without saying goodbye if you ask me.” Jack grumbled as he walked up.
“Daniel was kind enough to give me a ride to help me arrange things. I ran a few errands, arranged for a portkey and then decided to come here to wait for you. You certainly took long enough, you know. I was getting bored!” Sirius said with a rather flirtatious toss of his head.
“Sorry there, dog boy, but some of us have to work for a living. I can’t survive just by waving a stick around and having everything I want appear!”
“There’s a little bit more to it than that, but I’ll skip Wizarding for Muggles 101. Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Sirius replied.
“You’re not going to turn into a dog again and molest my leg are you?” Jack asked, opening the door and gesturing for Sirius to enter.
“I promise I won’t turn into a dog and molest your leg. Besides, there’s much more interesting parts of you I’d rather molest, and I certainly don’t wish to do it as a dog!” Sirius replied as he sauntered into the house. “Oh, by the way, these are for you.” He pulled out his wand and flicked it. A vase of long stemmed red roses appeared, along with a bottle of very expensive fire whiskey, handing both to Jack.
“Ah, you were paying attention, then! Very lovely, thank you. A drink and flowers, things are looking up. But what is this then, I’m not familiar with this, ah, “vintage.” What, pray tell, is “Old Ogden’s Finest Firewhiskey?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s the finest firewhiskey money can buy, I’ll have you know. And firewhiskey is rather like the muggle version of whiskey, but with more of a kick and a bit of a burn as it goes down. Where’s the glasses? Shall we drink to the beginning of a wonderful relationship, hmm?” Sirius said to Jack through half closed eyes.
“Sure of yourself, aren’t you, dog boy? Although you’re a fine specimen of a, well, whatever you are…”
“Wizard, Jack. I’m a wizard.”
“A fine specimen of a wizard then. But what makes you think I want to become another notch on your stick?”
“It’s a wand Jack, not a stick.”
“Whatever… But I’ve given up one-night stands. At my age and after everything I’ve seen, it isn’t worth it if you’ll leave and I’ll never see you again. Best to avoid potential entanglements and all that.”
“Who said you’ll never see me again? I can come and go like that, Jack.” Sirius said, snapping his fingers. “Why don’t we see where things take us, hm? I can leave, or not, whenever I want.”
Jack wrapped his arms around Sirius neck and asked, “Isn’t there someone back there waiting for you? I don’t want another person with a stick popping up all pissed off at me.” He whispered, kissing Sirius’ forehead.
“I have a couple of people I need to write and tell I’m alright, but no, there’s no one with a stick who will show up ‘pissed off’ as you put it. Besides, don’t want to show me what you can do with YOUR magic wand?” he purred, wrapping his arms around Jack in turn.
“Shut up, Dog Boy, and I’ll show you my magic wand.” Jack growled, swallowing his response with a kiss.