Comments | sirenspull: video

torporheart in sirenspull

video

Jun 26, 2010 03:40

[ really, it's meant to be voice, but he's not really in a clear state of mind. so. so, videohe's gone a couple days without sleep. right now, he's definitely tired. definitely out of sorts. he's in the pantry, lounging back against the door. the nv must be on one of the shelves. it's an over head caddy corner view. he's not looking at the camera, ( Read more... )

c: replica riku, c: re-l mayer, †: miharu rokujou, †: yukimi kazuhiko, c: jinx

Leave a comment

Back to all threads

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 14:28:56 UTC

Is something burning in there?

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:07:07 UTC

Ah...Not particularly, but better that sentiment than the opposite.

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:10:31 UTC

...

Huh?

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:12:23 UTC

Better to feel as though things are at the apogee than the perigee, as it were.

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:17:22 UTC

[ making a face. ] Quite.

-- Do you miss Yoite?

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:20:08 UTC

[A pause.] I've...hardly any right to, as I...scarcely knew him. And during the time I knew him, I was not kind to him. But I...

Yes. I do.

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:22:47 UTC

I have dreams about him. Before, I dreamt about him, too, but I didn't know it was him, then. The feeling, though. It's the same.

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:23:26 UTC

Is this better, or worse?

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:35:27 UTC

It's the same. A little worse, I guess. When I woke up here and I knew something - someone - was missing, it hurt. It hurt every day. And back then, I couldn't remember what I had done, but I knew that- it was my fault they were gone.

Sensei always warned me, 'bad things will happen if you use that.' So, when I woke up here, with the sensation that I had done something terrible, I thought for a while it was my fault everyone ended up here.

It felt like my insides were trying to fall out of me. Then, Yoite came. I didn't know it was him; I didn't know I knew him. But I found him. He was sick. I think, you remember- he was coughing up blood. [ 'We found out later that was usual for him, didn't we?' it goes unsaid. ]

Of course, he didn't want to go to the hospital.

All my memories of him, from before this place, are completely gone. Even if I try to focus or grapple for them, I can't. When I brought him home with me, he was a stranger.

I didn't send him away, though, because all those torn places were coming back together.

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:37:58 UTC

Was it better for you, that he was there?

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:43:41 UTC

Here? With me?

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:44:40 UTC

Yes.

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:54:37 UTC

What matters is what Yoite wanted. He either wanted to be erased or to die. I wasn't in the equation, unless I was going to use 'that' to erase him. Again.

If he had asked me, again, I probably would have. I offered to use it to make him better, but he would hold my hands [ so he couldn't cover his ears, of course ] and tell me that it's all right and I don't understand a lot of things. I kept thinking, 'how can it be all right that you want to die so much?' But, what Yoite wanted most was important.

I was scared, though. I was scared, one day he would wake up, and he would ask me to do it all over again. I was scared if I did it this time I would go mad, or something.

[ it feels like there's a house on his chest, suddenly. heavy exhale. ]

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:55:44 UTC

[A pause.] It was not fair of him to have asked it of you.

[voice] torporheart June 26 2010, 18:58:15 UTC

Before - ? It's what he wanted. I was the only one who could do it.

[voice] mentis_reae June 26 2010, 18:59:54 UTC

It still was not fair. You loved him, and he loved you. To ask you to do something like that...It was impossibly selfish.

Back to all threads