[video]

[atrumcanis]

[The video feed shows-- for those who know it-- the living room of the Super Secret Firehouse. It's empty for the moment, but one can hear muffled yips in the background. Jack's voice is first.]

Attention, Newcomers of Siren's Port! I think there's a goddman epidemic goin' on here! First Jinx, and now--

Stoppit, hold-- [It's a mutter at first,

Comments

video.

[troparion]

Second time, and still nobody's gotten married! I gotta say, I'm ashamed of this community.

video.

[troparion]

[a raised eyebrow.]

Sounds like you've met the wrong representatives.

video.

[cowboy_newsie]

Just the ones who hang round New York. Where you from?

video.

[troparion]

What's with New York? They just rant all the time or something?

I'm from Carcasses. Little ways out from December. [a beat.] It's not on Earth.

video.

[cowboy_newsie]

They named a planet after a month?

video.

[troparion]

Named a city after a month. Planet's called Gunsmoke.

video.

[cowboy_newsie]

They named a planet after a TV show.

video.

[troparion]

Named a planet after--

- Wait, what?

video.

[atrumcanis]

Why everyone is obsessed with marriage, I will never know.

video.

[troparion]

Guarantees you'll keep the family together, at least for a bit! Pays my bills!

And means you get more money or something, too, what with everything legally being connected.

video.

[atrumcanis]

Money from who?

video.

[troparion]

Government, maybe.

video.

[atrumcanis]

Maybe doesn't really encourage me to get married, y'know.

video.

[troparion]

But the kid should! Think about her-- uh, him- er - it!

video.

[atrumcanis]

The kid should be married?

video.

[troparion]

... Wasn't quite what I was going for, but you're the parent here. Guess you could sign 'em away right off the bat, get it done early.