news feed; Monday, May 30th, 2011
Monday; May 30, 2011
Weather
Sunny and clear, with a light breeze. High of 20°C and a low of 11°C (68°F/52°F)
Current Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Morning sirens will go off at 5:17 am, and evening sirens will go off at 9:03 pm.
Bat Bank Burglar Leaves Security in a Sticky Situation
Last night, a small upper sector 4 branch of Siren's Port Savings & Loan was burgled by a "big and bat-shaped" intruder. Two night guards were found stuck to the wall in a green, globular substance that hardened and trapped them in place until a fellow guard could assist.
Cash was emptied from the bank's vault, and security cameras did not show much, coated in the same sticky substance. The identity of the burglar remains a mystery, but suspects include sanguinarians, shapeshifters, and a caped crusader known among the newcomers as "Batman", who may in fact be no more than an urban myth, generated by wanted newcomer criminal and performance artist, "The Joker".
Does the Batman really exist? Is he an imaginary foil of theatrical lunatics? SPPD rookie beat cop Artie Mulligan told press this morning that Batman is nothing more than "a hoax, a madman's ravings, no more than a conversation piece and imaginary figment of the newcomer criminal element."
When pressing SERO officials at the Core Site for any additional information about recent new arrivals, they refused to release any collected data confirming or denying the presence of a "Batman" among this month's flood of diamond drop-ins. Newcomer Caseworker and SPPD Corporal Re-l Mayer was unavailable for comment.
Other News:
- Punk Promises Pothole Penance
Following today's gooey headliner is a shorter article on another sticky substance slinger, Clint "Tarbaby" O'Brian, juvenile delinquent and leader of a Sector 9 gang. He was arrested and charged with defacing and vandalizing both public and private property throughout the city, including melting the tires of over 48 vehicles to the street. After a tearful confession at his hearing, stating that his single mother never gave him any positive reinforcement or sense of direction for constructive use of his powers, he was sentenced to 250 hours of community service, filling potholes.
- Pussy Protests?
This morning, SERO researchers noticed an unusual number of stray cats gathering en mass in the Tower Apartments parking lot near the Core site, and have been speculating that something within the core's energy field is attracting them. An AGI protester later admitted to dusting the perimeter with a 4 lb. bag of catnip and pheromones, hoping to generate enough volume of hair, piss and yowling cats in heat to make work very unpleasant for the on-site scientists and arriving newcomers.
The Silver Slug @ the Underground Mall Black Market
Fine Purveyors of Shamanic Crafts * Jewelry * Specialized Armaments
Will also trade for magical artifacts, antiques, watches & rare coinage.
[The purveyor at this stall is an outspoken werewolf-hater, and a 2-time registered participant of werewolf hunts at Spencer's Hunting Grounds. If approached, he will regale you with stories of "putting down" were-beasts in the city, and eventually this will turn into a bitter tale of his late wife, who cheated on him with a shape shifter and left him, only to be torn to shreds by a berserking beast on the full moon.]
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[ News Notification Thread]
Weather
Sunny and clear, with a light breeze. High of 20°C and a low of 11°C (68°F/52°F)
Current Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Morning sirens will go off at 5:17 am, and evening sirens will go off at 9:03 pm.
Bat Bank Burglar Leaves Security in a Sticky Situation
Last night, a small upper sector 4 branch of Siren's Port Savings & Loan was burgled by a "big and bat-shaped" intruder. Two night guards were found stuck to the wall in a green, globular substance that hardened and trapped them in place until a fellow guard could assist.
Cash was emptied from the bank's vault, and security cameras did not show much, coated in the same sticky substance. The identity of the burglar remains a mystery, but suspects include sanguinarians, shapeshifters, and a caped crusader known among the newcomers as "Batman", who may in fact be no more than an urban myth, generated by wanted newcomer criminal and performance artist, "The Joker".
Does the Batman really exist? Is he an imaginary foil of theatrical lunatics? SPPD rookie beat cop Artie Mulligan told press this morning that Batman is nothing more than "a hoax, a madman's ravings, no more than a conversation piece and imaginary figment of the newcomer criminal element."
When pressing SERO officials at the Core Site for any additional information about recent new arrivals, they refused to release any collected data confirming or denying the presence of a "Batman" among this month's flood of diamond drop-ins. Newcomer Caseworker and SPPD Corporal Re-l Mayer was unavailable for comment.
Other News:
- Punk Promises Pothole Penance
Following today's gooey headliner is a shorter article on another sticky substance slinger, Clint "Tarbaby" O'Brian, juvenile delinquent and leader of a Sector 9 gang. He was arrested and charged with defacing and vandalizing both public and private property throughout the city, including melting the tires of over 48 vehicles to the street. After a tearful confession at his hearing, stating that his single mother never gave him any positive reinforcement or sense of direction for constructive use of his powers, he was sentenced to 250 hours of community service, filling potholes.
- Pussy Protests?
This morning, SERO researchers noticed an unusual number of stray cats gathering en mass in the Tower Apartments parking lot near the Core site, and have been speculating that something within the core's energy field is attracting them. An AGI protester later admitted to dusting the perimeter with a 4 lb. bag of catnip and pheromones, hoping to generate enough volume of hair, piss and yowling cats in heat to make work very unpleasant for the on-site scientists and arriving newcomers.
The Silver Slug @ the Underground Mall Black Market
Fine Purveyors of Shamanic Crafts * Jewelry * Specialized Armaments
Will also trade for magical artifacts, antiques, watches & rare coinage.
[The purveyor at this stall is an outspoken werewolf-hater, and a 2-time registered participant of werewolf hunts at Spencer's Hunting Grounds. If approached, he will regale you with stories of "putting down" were-beasts in the city, and eventually this will turn into a bitter tale of his late wife, who cheated on him with a shape shifter and left him, only to be torn to shreds by a berserking beast on the full moon.]
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[ News Notification Thread]