oo1 [ voice / public | spider-man ]
Okay, so. . .an interdimensional particulate walks into the Macroverse and finds his buddy the aerosol. The aerosol says they should get something to drink, seeing as they're in the Macroverse and all -- they make the best smoothies, not gonna lie -- but the particulate shakes his head and says no.
When the aerosol asks why not, the particulate grabs his stomach and says: "Well, ever since I got here I've been feeling a bit bloated..."
[ He pauses, as if expecting laughter. ]
--Anybody? [ Another pause, then, slightly frantic: ]--Seriously, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
[ There's only the sound of the wind. ]
Touch crowd. [ He laughs. ] And don't get me started on the "warm" reception I got on the baseball diamond when I arrived. [ He sounds a bit annoyed, now ] You'd expect that whole "turn your head and cough" business to happen behind closed doors, but noooooooo. Guy gets ping-ponged halfway around the multiverse, and instead of arriving in a secure facility or something, the first thing he sees is some Herr Doktor type waving a cotton swab in his face asking him to please settle down, please take off your mask, please, we're here to help, yadda yadda yadda like he isn't made up of pure evil and somehow fueled by my invasion of privacy.
[ He kisses his teeth. ]
"We're here to help," they said. Sureeeeee. Like I'd fall for that trick more than twice.
[ Pause. ]
--Wait, The Beyonder isn't behind this, is he? Because it wasn't even two weeks ago that I did the whole dimension-hopping-to-save-a-doomed-civilization-thing, and having it happen twice in the same year is just so...Well, it's not predictable, but, like -- you have unlimited cosmic power and seriously? This is what you're using it for?
[ Waiting for it... ]
Please don't smite me..
[ A beat. ]
Okay, awesome. First theory of why I'm here tested and put to rest. [ He sounds like he's taking stock of his surroundings. ]--Man, all that traveling I've done and you'd think I'dve gone to Canada before this, right? It's kind of ironic, I guess. And cold, thanks for the warning Wolverine.
[ Another pause. ]
--Hey, is it really true you guys put your milk in bags? What's up with that?
When the aerosol asks why not, the particulate grabs his stomach and says: "Well, ever since I got here I've been feeling a bit bloated..."
[ He pauses, as if expecting laughter. ]
--Anybody? [ Another pause, then, slightly frantic: ]--Seriously, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
[ There's only the sound of the wind. ]
Touch crowd. [ He laughs. ] And don't get me started on the "warm" reception I got on the baseball diamond when I arrived. [ He sounds a bit annoyed, now ] You'd expect that whole "turn your head and cough" business to happen behind closed doors, but noooooooo. Guy gets ping-ponged halfway around the multiverse, and instead of arriving in a secure facility or something, the first thing he sees is some Herr Doktor type waving a cotton swab in his face asking him to please settle down, please take off your mask, please, we're here to help, yadda yadda yadda like he isn't made up of pure evil and somehow fueled by my invasion of privacy.
[ He kisses his teeth. ]
"We're here to help," they said. Sureeeeee. Like I'd fall for that trick more than twice.
[ Pause. ]
--Wait, The Beyonder isn't behind this, is he? Because it wasn't even two weeks ago that I did the whole dimension-hopping-to-save-a-doomed-civilization-thing, and having it happen twice in the same year is just so...Well, it's not predictable, but, like -- you have unlimited cosmic power and seriously? This is what you're using it for?
[ Waiting for it... ]
Please don't smite me..
[ A beat. ]
Okay, awesome. First theory of why I'm here tested and put to rest. [ He sounds like he's taking stock of his surroundings. ]--Man, all that traveling I've done and you'd think I'dve gone to Canada before this, right? It's kind of ironic, I guess. And cold, thanks for the warning Wolverine.
[ Another pause. ]
--Hey, is it really true you guys put your milk in bags? What's up with that?