Whitey weighs in, news at eleven. (On getting it wrong and trying again.)

[sinsense]

I'm working my way through rydra_wong's comprehensive list of posts on the recent blow-up around race, racism, and (sci-fi/fantasy) fiction in my spare time. I'm not even nearly finished -- I've been keeping track of the discussion only haphazardly before this -- but in the meantime I thought I would work through some of my thoughts in my own space. This

Comments

[makesomelove]

I've read a lot of posts about this, and all by people I'm not familiar with at all. For some reason that makes me feel like the baby idiot I am, like, WHO THE F ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHERE IS MY MOMMY? I'm more familiar with you! So I am glad you posted this and in such a nice and simple fashion, thank you. I have finally LEEEEEEARNED.

[sinsense]

I was looking over it, like, "DUDE EVERYONE ALREADY SAID THIS, STFU WHITE GIRL," because I was just processing through all the things I'd read. But then I thought that maybe it would be a nice simplified guide to someone who was just hearing about it, or whatever. You have validated my somewhat-shaky and unfounded hypothesis! That is most excellent of you, thank you.

LEARNING IS FUN: FACT.

[ext_63023]

I didn't know that gyp was a slur for a long time, or that spaz was offensive to people from the UK (not sure of other countries, but that's the context I had the enlightening conversation in).

Whoa, really? Crap! What do they mean? *goes looking*

[sinsense]

WHOO!

Gyp is a reference to "Gypsies," which is an inaccurate term for the Roma people. Spaz is offensive because what we call cerebral palsy, UK people call spastic. In fact, their CP group is called the Spastic Society, if I remember clearly.

[nova_bright]

Lol identical comments.

And sidelining, my dad used to work for the Spastic Society, except now it is called SCOPE.

Spaz is not often used anymore, though it's still considered offensive, obviously. Actually the one I heard a lot more when I was a kid was 'spakka' which is a variation on the theme. Again, it's dying out. People still know what it means, though.

[chiasmata]

Over here in the UK, when I was a kid, 'spastic' was the word that you didn't use to insult someone. The absolute, you-must-never, worst possible one. (Although 'retard' and 'retarded' ran it pretty close.)

Scope hasn't been called The Spastics Society in, ooh, maybe 15 years, I think. Cerebral palsy is known as cerebral palsy these days, too: I'm not sure if 'spasticity' (i.e. hypertonia) is still used in a medical context, though.

[fox1013]

Not the only one at all. I tend to rely on this icon, because it is my Discussions of Race icon, but that feels kind of sketchy too. :/

[sinsense]

I sometimes use this one as my pointed race discussion icon (because I AM the cause! ahaha GET IT?). It's a conundrum sometimes, but at the very least I want people to stop using their one (yes, I checked, I'm creepy like that) POC icon for their race post.

At least I'm not the only one who thinks about this, though.

[violin_road]

Thank you for the round-up of round-ups! I am terrified to go into the big post of links.

[sinsense]

Ha! Yeah, I've been opening ten tabs at a time and browsing through them rapid-fire, and it's still daunting. I'm only forty or fifty links down the page. People: talk a lot! The sum-up and originating posts are definitely worth pawing through, though.

It's worth clicking around, at the very least, trying to get your feet wet. Some of them are very brief, and some of them are really worthwhile. I don't know, I'll probably keep adding to the list.

[violin_road]

a) WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR ICON IT IS TERRIFYING HOLY SHIT

b) I was reading a bunch of it when shit first started to go down, but after about a week I was like "CANNOT HANDLE THIS MUCH ANGER; MUST READ PORNOGRAPHY ABOUT POP STARS"

[sinsense]

POLLYANNA WILL KICK YOUR HIND END BUT GOOD OKAY. I seriously love Pollyanna. She is my favorite sociopath.

I know what you mean about the anger thing. I kept whaling on my poor armchair, and the thing was starting to look dented. I think it's important to come back to, though; as I keep being reminded, it's my privilege to be able to walk away from the issue. It's intense, though, and I've definitely avoided the comments of posts after I made the mistake of reading the comments in EBear's first post.

[whatifoundthere]

WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO DREAM WEDDING? WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED ANY MORE? D:

Srsly, I do love this post. I haven't really been following the Racefail thing all that carefully (as I explained to biascut earlier today, it's almost entirely because I fucking hate the cutesy moniker "Racefail," and I am shallow enough to avoid reading about important issues if they are popularly labelled in ways that do not aesthetically please me), but I have been thinking about privilege in other ways and for other reasons lately, and it's a very troubling and uncomfortable kind of thinking, and my instinct is to try to wriggle out of it with apologies and get-out-of-jail-free cards of my own invention. And I can't get out of it, of course, and that hurts, and of course THEN my instinct is to make everything all about THAT hurting. "Oh man it's hard having privilege!" Which is what I'm always yelling at guys about. PHYSICIAN HEAL THYSELF etc

[sinsense]

NOT IN MY STATE ANYWAY. DDDDDDD:

I saw your comment on biascut, and I think the link you were looking for in that comment might be the Angry Black Woman one linked above? It connects tone and "it's not my job to educate you." I'm going to keep poking around for a good, concise statement of "it's not my job to educate you," though, and I will give you a heads-up if/when I find it.

my instinct is to try to wriggle out of it with apologies and get-out-of-jail-free cards of my own invention
Yes, exactly. I distract myself away from it, recognize that, turn back to it. Then I feel frustrated and sad and think, "'but what can I do' is a valid question!" And crap, yeah, I know that's a cop-out. It's a lot of work, which is good, I think. That was my main contribution to the pot: it's supposed to be frustrating and painful! That's the joy of institutional oppression! WHOOOO PARTY HATS!

THE WEDDING IS STILL ON, OKAY. IT'S GOING TO BE A SHOTGUN WEDDING, BY WHICH I MEAN WE WILL BE SHOOTING METAPHORS AND HORSES AT THE RECEPTION.

[whatifoundthere]

That's an interesting link; thanks. I'd never really thought that way about the connection between "you could have been nicer/less bitchy/less emotional about it" and "educate me!" I'll have to consider that some more. In the meanwhile, I'm still keen to see a more specific introduction to "educate me!" because I find that's one of the things that my interlocutors tend to snag on the most when I talk about gender. YOU HAVE YOUR ASSIGNMENT.

Also: we could totally get married heeeeeeeere. We will wave our shotguns and yell "GET OUT! THIS IS WHERE LADIES SLEEP!" and when people don't back off we will shoot them and THERE WILL BE PIE.

[interimismine]

My state would be honored to host this homomagnificent matrimony.