Beautifully done! And I fully endorse sentence fragments as a stylistic tool :D
And then the eyes he was looking into were looking back at him.
And they radiated pain. A pain he knew.
Not gonna lie, this made me wibble a little bit. Clark finally understanding the pain Bruce has carried with him for so long...UHG! Heartbreaking! (but so good!)
Oh, this was my prompt, and this is *lovely*! Gorgeous work! I love it very, very much! Thank you so much for writing it! I love the flow... and the ending is very, very awesome! Love it! Those last few lines! The way it builds up to the end! The second to last line breaks my heart and then WHAM! With the last line. You bet it's cathartic! Awesome Batman!
I cracked up at your warning for sentence fragments! I feel like I should do that sometimes, but I think they worked wonderfully here, really capturing the desperate mood.
Somewhere, in the fortress, Diana was being murdered.
It's hard to pick out one particular line because the urgency of the narrative works as a whole so well, but this sentence especially I thought really had extra impact. It's so stark and simple, you can really feel Bruce's desperation.
I think you picked a wonderful canon moment for this prompt! It's such an evocative episode, I love what you did with it.
I felt weird about the sentence fragments, at first. When attempting to use language/grammar as part of the story-telling process, one never knows if the reader will be able to see past the "style" and be pulled into the feel of the story.
This was a special fear for me, since I don't write a lot of fiction (haven't written fan fiction for years...).
Anyways, I am really happy that the gambit seemed to pay off :) Thank you for your wonderful feedback!
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And then the eyes he was looking into were looking back at him.
And they radiated pain. A pain he knew.
Not gonna lie, this made me wibble a little bit. Clark finally understanding the pain Bruce has carried with him for so long...UHG! Heartbreaking! (but so good!)
Excellent job! <3
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(The comment has been removed)
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Somewhere, in the fortress, Diana was being murdered.
It's hard to pick out one particular line because the urgency of the narrative works as a whole so well, but this sentence especially I thought really had extra impact. It's so stark and simple, you can really feel Bruce's desperation.
I think you picked a wonderful canon moment for this prompt! It's such an evocative episode, I love what you did with it.
Reply
This was a special fear for me, since I don't write a lot of fiction (haven't written fan fiction for years...).
Anyways, I am really happy that the gambit seemed to pay off :) Thank you for your wonderful feedback!
Reply
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