(Untitled)

[sinister676]

I just got some terrible news. My gandmother's spine cancer is back and her options are limited to takeing a freaking pill. They say if the pill actually works shes got 6 months to a year. If it doesn't, shes got 3 to 6 months. My dad says once she's out of the hospital she's going to stay at my uncle's house for a month. Then she's coming here.

Comments

[glitterie_meggo]

wow, I didn't know you were close to grandmother. I got paid to watch my grandfather before he died. I hated it. I wanted to remember him how he was not how he was becoming.
I'm sorry.
::hug::

[sinister676]

Well she took me in when i was 16 and i lived with her for about 3 years...so yeah i guess we're kinda close...i like my grandmother more than i like my own dad :/ We're a lot alike cause we're both capricorns. I'm so going to hate this...im about to cry right now just thinking about watching her deteriorating away.

[glitterie_meggo]

You could use this time to become even closer to her and somehow recieve closer before she actually goes. The youll ever regret not letting her know how much you cared before she passed. That's how I was when my paw paw died. gosh I'm crying now :/ I hated seeing him in the nursing home. I stopped going because everytime I saw him in that place I would break down. The night he died I had a dream about him. That he was well and being himself again, he remembered everyone and was being really funny and all the family was together. When i woke up that afternoon i couldn't get intouch with my mother and when i finally did she told me he was gone. I regreted not visting him more. But I guess he told me goodbye in my dreams. I still think that whole dream thing is weird. Really. Sit with her even if it's only for a day.

[spaceoomonkey]

sorry to hear about that man... hope you can deal with the shit as time progresses...

[sinister676]

me too brother....me too :/

I'm sorry

[love_like_lies]

I feel the same way about old age and death. I try to pretend it doesn't exist, I'm lucky because no one very close to me has died. [knock on wood] ;\ The second funeral I went to was for my great grandmother she was like 203..or 4 I don't remember. It was an open casket and it was the first time I ever saw some one dead. I couldn't stop crying, it was uncontrollable and...embarrasing cause there was no real reason to cry. She lived for...a very long time, was happy and very healthy.

I wrote too much, sorry. I think its weird that you would get paid for watching her.

Re: I'm sorry

[sinister676]

I've been to several funerals. Even when i didn't know the person well it's been hard not to get all choked up when you see everyone else around you losing their shit. It just rubs off on you. Or maybe that's just me, maybe i'm too sensitive to others. This is much different though. I wasn't very close to my grandmother growing up because my mother raised me two hours away from here, but my grandmother took me in when i was 16 for almost 3 years, so i do feel close to her now. I feel so awful that i've not gone to visit her since she was originall diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, but like i said the whole death thing just freaks me out. God this sucks.

Re: I'm sorry

[sarahmander]

not too long ago, my grandma's sister died. it was feb 11, 2003. at the funeral, when her casket was about to be placed in the tomb, i wanted to be near my grandmother. i stood behind her in her wheelchair with my hands resting on her shoulders for a few moments to minutes. and then this current of sorrow ripped thru me and i started crying pretty uncontrolably and i feel i was channeling the sadness that my grandma would never express.

Re: I'm sorry

[glitterie_meggo]

203? wow that's a long life.

[train_wrek]

It's hard....No words can express someones sorrow....but for me to handle things like that...I think of it as...she will be going to a better place, somewhere where she will not suffer anymore.....I personally would not want to be paid to watch my grandmother slowly die, but sometimes in some situations you learn a lot about the persons life and their achievements......and become closer to them over time....it will be hard....and I am sorry, but she probably lived a very wonderful life, with no regrets....
I don't know....I am real sorry that you have to be in that situation...
Love,
Jennifer

[sinister676]

Thank you sweetheart. It's a weird situation. The family has got to pay someone to take care of her during the day while they are at work and they would rather it be someone she knows and is comfortable with so that her last days are as comfortable as they can be. I'll feel kinda shitty being paid for it, but it was offered, i can use it, and it will be a big inconvience for me....i won't have any social life anymore cause i'll be coming home after work to sleep and get up early to sit with her before i go to work....fuck why am i even thinking about that? ::cries::

death

[sarahmander]

when i was 11, just after my parents were divorced, my mom's dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. and he died soon after in our house. i remember i was actually playing nintendo in my room the moment he died, with my mother and great aunt and probably grandmother in the other room