EIGHTH LOG → VIDEO

[lockbreak]

[ feed starts off shaky, focused at a weird angle on the ground. it's riddled with static and white noise, aside from some very heavy breathing. after a good minute, there's Iowa! helmeted face and all. ]

Alejandro? Where are you? Hey, what the fuck is going on?

[ looks to the left... looks to the right... ]Fuck. Did my armor lock down again?

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[AUDIO]

[huptwo]

Donut?! [yeah, no one is upset here. no one at all.] Where are you?!

[huptwo]

[he's considered hiding away but, really, that was worse. he decided to try and pretend instead that he wasn't nearly as upset as he actually was. probably his worst idea ever but crying into his pillow got old fast. and a distraction had sounded nice.

he looks up at the door opening and yeah this was the worst idea ever, because he already feels like crying again. in fact he looks away pretty fast and he is not wiping at his eyes, thanks.] So, uh, what happened? [and wow, look who sounds like shit still. fantastic.]

[lockbreak]

[ Iowa keeps on staring at Simmons, waiting for him to yell at him or scream or reprimand... when nothing comes but a haphazard question, his shoulders slump a little. ]

Uh. Well. I found... myself. I guess. [ he says, taking his helmet off and shaking his head around. ] Fucked up. [ he supplies while stepping further into the room. ] But I uh. Figured out what happened to me, at least, so that's something.

[huptwo]

[the yelling will just have to wait until simmons has composed himself enough. until then, he's just going to cry. because no one deals with stressful situations like a pro like simmons.

well. at least it was really him and he was really alive and he still can't believe his eyes- especially not when they're as sore as they are now.] Oh. So what happened? [he's staying on his end of the couch overrrr here. because he doesn't think moving is a great idea.] Besides the, uh, obvious.

[lockbreak]

[ Iowa... watches Simmons carefully. he wants to give him some kind of comfort, but all he can think of is getting this fucking armor off. ] --Well, hold on. Let me get out of this shit. [ and off he goes into the bedroom, tearing the pieces off like they were diseased.

several minutes later, he comes back out, wearing the most casual clothing he had; a t-shirt and some slim fitting jeans. not his cup of tea, but it felt much better than the armor right now. ] That's better... [ sighh...

he slowly makes his way over to Simmons, sitting down on the couch, but not too closely. he knows Simmons likes his personal space. ] Um. Well. You're familiar with armor enhancements right? [ he starts, wringing at his hands. ]

[huptwo]

[simmons really doesn't want to be touched at this very moment, or he thinks he does, so it's a good thing iowa is giving him some space.

he's still having a problem looking at him, but that's to be expected really. simmons does look over at the question, though, and nods.] Yeah. We've seen a few on the field and Grif and I screwed around with them at the fallback facility.

[lockbreak]

[ he blinks... welp. that was interesting. ] Okay, well... they aren't really meant to work without an AI supplementing them. I mean, you can use them without, but they're kinda risky...

[ he sucks in a breath... this was so hard ffff. ] I was going to help Alejandro with mine; I remember telling him I could use it to block out that AI from finding us... I don't remember activating it, but I must've. [ he rubs his neck. ] The damage to my uh. Body. Kind of fits the description. It must've shorted out and fragged my armor.

[huptwo]

[for once simmons doesn't bother to tell donut that he already knew that- hell he'd been the one to warn grif, after all. but he's got no bite left in him right now.

he frowns though at this explanation, because, well, he didn't like it of course. simmons sniffs a little and tries to morph it into a cough, but it's a pathetic attempt. but he's giving donut a pretty incredulous look right now.] So why the fuck did you use it without your AI?

[lockbreak]

[ he shoots Simmons a glance. a rather bemused one, at that. and very simply, he declares: ] Because I'm arrogant.

[ and he laughs, turning away to stare straight ahead. ] It's kind of my specialty, scraping by death and stuff. Just barely making it. Making everyone turn their heads, make 'em think I'm fucking invincible.

[ now he's nervously playing with his hair. ] I'm the rookie. The youngest in the project. Do you know what that means? It means I have to work that much harder to prove I'm worthy of being there. So, I guess, knowing me, I probably didn't think anything would happen. And if it did? I would have gotten out of it somehow.

[huptwo]

[yeah great here comes the waterworks again. he's scrubbing at his face, though, to keep it from going crazy- and probably to hide a little. snifflehiccup.] You're not even with them anymore, why the hell are you still doing stupid shit? And why...

[he shakes his head, because he has no idea what he's asking, but he sniffles again.] I don't know. This fucking sucks.

[lockbreak]

[ he looks over at Simmons and instantly regrets it. fuck he's crying. Iowa's lips pull into an uneasy grimace and he looks away again, for now. ]

Because. They're here. It's all but habit anymore. I don't want them to think I've gone soft, even if I'm AWOL. Reputation means everything. Freelancers are like sharks; the second they smell blood in the water--the smallest bit of weakness--, they pick you apart until there's nothing left.

[huptwo]

[he manages to snort at that, which is a lousy idea with everything that's going on right now. still, he wipes at his eyes again even if it's useless and shakes his head.]

So you go and get yourself killed instead. [god he hates freelancers.] A heads up, next time, would be great. [annnd he's really considering going to his room right now because he's starting to shake a little.] So I'm not caught off-guard. [sniff!] You're sure you're ok?

[lockbreak]

[ he sighs. this is getting ridiculous. if Simmons can't get himself under control, Iowa's not sure he won't start bawling himself. wringing at his hands, Iowa decides that enough is enough. ]

I'm fine. [ he turns to face Simmons, reaching over to put his arm around him. ] C'mere. [ now whether or not Simmons is going to be receptive to this gesture is a mystery, but Iowa's not one to just let him blubber to himself. ] I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run the program for so long. This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so stupid.

[huptwo]

[he's nodding a little- to what who knows?- but he tenses up when donut actually touches him. he doesn't pull away, though. not yet anyway.

he's a little too busy trying to wrap this up and making absolutely zero progress.] You shouldn't have and you're a fucking idiot. [which sounds pathetic when he's pretty much crying it out. fantastic. another manly moment for simmons.] Stop dying, asshole.

[lockbreak]

[ the words sting; Iowa's a prideful man, after all, and really the last thing he needed was confirmation that he was as stupid as he thought he was. but, he can't fault Simmons for it, either. instead, he rubs his hand up and down Simmons' arm, trying to be as comforting as possible.

he contemplates just letting Simmons rip into him, but he decides to speak up again instead. ] I know. I'm sorry, Simmons. I'm sorry I keep doing this to you. [ he looks over at him and resists the urge to just pull him against him. Simmons probably wouldn't have appreciated that. ] I promise I'll take better care of myself.

[huptwo]

[the touch doesn't really do a lot to console him but the shaking, at the very least, stops. which is good- if he can't stop crying then at least he can stop being slightly hysterical about it.

but he nods again, sniffing a little.] Yeah, alright- it's fine. [he's not sure what about it is fine, exactly, since it really isn't, but he looks up at donut for a second] You'd better. [really, really empty threat at this point but whatever.]