Dear Diary, part two
November 10th.
Dear diary,
Lately I’ve been making sure the house is absolutely spotless, hospital clean, even. Maybe I wasn’t doing a good enough job before, because Alfred has been very pleased, affectionate even!
I heard him come home, and I admit it, I was a little scared. I can’t help but be scared, now that I think he’s having an affair, along with him being so happy. I don’t want to make him angry. I know he'll blame me for it.
When he came into the bathroom, I tried to hide it. At least, until I was sure of how he was feeling.
He told me that he’d had a great day, and he could see how sparkling clean his house was, and that made him happy. He kept complimenting me! He even told me how nice I looked today. And asked if I’d done something different with my hair! As if! It made me feel good, all the same.
I asked how his day was (I know better than to ask what put him in a good mood - that’s sure to take him out of it), and he said it was great, that work had gone well, and there was talk of him getting a promotion, one that might help him get into the police force!
AND, that his grandmother’s lawyer had been in contact with him, to discuss some changes to his inheritance. He was originally meant to get when he was 25, but because he’s married and I’m pregnant, they’re thinking of changing that! He says that they may only give him half the money now and the rest when he’s 25. I’m not sure how much money there is, or how this works. I know his grandfather had changed the age of inheritance a few times, along with who gets what, if anything at all. I really don’t know how these things work; I’m not money smart like him. His grandmother is going back and forth about this with her lawyer, and his parents, trying to hammer out exact details. I think she just wants to wrap up his estate - he’s been dead for five years, so it’s about time! From what he said, the lawyers are confident we could have this sorted out within a few months, but there are some issues with the trustees to deal with? I really don't know how it works. Anyway - it’s good news!
The idea of getting that money REALLY put him into a good mood, and he beckoned me into the bedroom for some afternoon delight.
And that put me into a good mood!
Things are looking up!
Zady.
January 3rd.
Dear diary,
I haven't written in so long! I really haven't had much time to dig you out to update you, but, things haven't been that bad at all. They've been...interesting, even.
My pregnancy is progressing well, and I’m feeling good again. No more throwing up! I didn’t like that at all. Especially not on top of the stresses we’ve had.
Though my belly has gotten so big, I can’t imagine how it’s going to be later in the pregnancy! The doctor swears there’s only one in there, though - and a girl, at that! Alfred hasn't come to any of my appointments, he claims he's too "busy" with work.
The other day, I found some flowers on the front steps for Alfred. From Nina.
I dared to ask why she'd sent him flowers, and he just shrugged it off, saying it was a thank you for the work he'd done on her car. Since when does he fix cars? And why would she send roses? I don't know whether to laugh or cry, that he can't be bothered to lie better. Do I mean so little, that he doesn't care about hurting me?
And do you know what, diary? I didn’t care. Alfred may have his slut on the side (and I know that he IS seeing her, Kaylynn’s seen them together several times, and has even shown me photos), but he’s been so happy, and, well, pleasant to live with, that I’m willing to put up with it. For now. It’s strange how well we’ve been getting along since he started cheating on me.
His grandmother and her lawyers have been trying to iron out what wrinkles are left in regards to his inheritance, and he was excited by these phone calls at first, where they'd update him on what was happening.
But then he just got really jack of it. He told them that he's too busy to keep getting these "useless" updates, and that they should just run everything by me first. They sent some forms out in the mail giving me authority over handling the inheritance. I didn't get to read them, he just shoved them in front of me and told me to sign, so I did. I don't think he read it either, as we posted it back to them that afternoon. I would've liked to have read it properly, but he wasn't in the mood for it.
These delays are just pissing him off. He’s got plans for that money, he says, though he won’t tell me what they are.
I’ve got some plans, too, diary, but I don't dare write them down here. I don’t think Alfred has found you (since he does NO cleaning at all, and you’re extremely well hidden!), but some things are best kept quiet. I will be writing all about it once it’s done, that’s for sure!
Zady.
January 30th.
Dear diary,
Last night, we were given a piano. How truly bizarre. We don’t really have room for it, either, so it’s staying out on the back deck for now. I asked Alfred about it, and he said his mate Parker gave it to us, because he won it in some stupid raffle and thought I might like it.
But I know that’s not true.
Last night, I saw Nina sneaking around. She’s really, really weird. Alfred was at work, so I thought she was coming to spy on me, or something.
She didn’t seem too sure of herself, and she certainly didn’t see me peeking out through the window, watching her.
Maybe she does have some morals. But I doubt it.
Once she was sure the coast was clear, she pulled her phone out and made a call, then these guys pulled up in a small truck (they must’ve been just up the street), and hauled a piano onto our back deck!! I guess she's lucky that we don't have any neighbours - surely someone would've called the cops on her! I could've, I supposed, but I was curious as to what she was up to.
I really don’t know why she would give us (or, him, rather) a piano. Maybe she’s feeling guilty? Or trying to win him over? Why would a piano make him leave me? He’s too lazy to do the practice a musical instrument requires!
Though he will spend ages on his treadmill, but he says that’s a very different thing. He doesn’t need to learn anything new to go running. And he says playing a piano isn't as good for you running, and he thinks that I'm more suited to a hobby where I can sit on my fat ass.
But I don’t mind, I’ll learn to play. I think the baby likes it!
And her keeping him happy means all is good around here, which is better for me and the baby. I never thought that I’d be ok with my husband cheating on me, diary, let alone wanting to encourage her to do more to win his attentions! But, well, my plans are in motion now that the money will be hitting our account any day now! I haven't told him this, but I have been giving him some "updates", mostly that they've almost come to a decision on what to do. This is something else I have to be thankful to Nina for - before she showed up, he would never have given over control of something like this. We’re talking about §500 000!!!
Not that he realises it’s that much, though. I told him it was §250 000, which was the original amount to be given. But his grandmother has decided to give him his whole inheritance now, because he’s become such a good family man. This is something else that happens when I’m left to deal with this - I talk to his grandmother, who adores me. I'm carrying her first great-grandchild, so I’ve managed to convince her that he’s really grown up and is a good husband and father-to-be. And strangely enough, he has been…apart from the slut on the side.
If he finds out about the other §250 000, I’ll just tell him that’s how much I thought we were getting, which fits with the half now/half later scenario we were originally told. He'd find it very believable that I'd gotten it wrong. I'm sure he expects me to. Or he would, if he wasn't so enthralled with Nina.
So much to do!!
Z.
March 9th
Dear Diary,
It’s been forever since I’ve written, but…I really haven’t had a need. Things have been surprisingly good. I’ve even felt happy!
My baby belly is HUGE. I know I’m a lot bigger than I’ve ever been, but I know it’s all baby. My doctor says my weight is fine, that I’ve actually lost a bit, and he wants me to be careful. Alfred occasionally makes jokes about me looking like the back end of a bus, but I ignore it. In fact, I ignore him most of the time these days, and he hasn’t noticed. Just a few months ago, that would have really bothered me, but I’m ok with it. I’ve been far to busy to think about it!
It feels so strange to say it…but, I feel beautiful. I feel beautiful for the first time in my life. I didn’t feel this good in my wedding dress!
I love feeling my baby move around inside me, and I know I’ll get to meet her soon.
Though she does make it a bit hard to do things!
I’ve been in contact with a lawyer of my own, and my problems are just about over, though I don’t know if I can actually get the nerve up to do what needs to be done, now that it’s almost time to. I’m due in just over a month, so I know I have to do this pretty soon.
Oh diary, I wish I could write about it all, but I just don’t think it’s safe.
I feel so good about it, though.
Z.
Ps The money is in! I haven’t told him yet. Seeing §500 000 in your bank accounts sure does make your heart flutter!
March 12th
Oh, there's so much to write about.
I hadn’t seen much of Alfred, he’d been “working overtime” (that being Nina, of course), since I told him about the money coming in. I told him we've been given §250 000, and he was thrilled to see it in our account. He wanted to buy a lot of trivial things, like a car and a boat and a bigger tv, and maybe go on a big holiday. I told him I wanted to invest some of it so that we'd have a good nest egg, and that with the baby almost here, we would have to wait a while before going anywhere. I don't think he liked being reminded we're about to have a baby.
I had transferred §250 000 into a new savings account of my own, before the rest of it hit our joint account, which terrifies me, and strangely, thrills me. Legally, I have every right to do this. My lawyer said that the forms I've signed allows me to do this. And I'm not doing this just for me - it's for my daughter, too. I've realised I definitely can't raise her in this household. I can't allow him to hurt me the way he has been. I can't let him hit me again. I can't raise my daughter in a household with that.
Especially after last night. How strange that he timed it so well.
Like I said, I hadn't seen much of him in the last few days...but last night, he came home early.
With Nina.
He brought her back to our house!
Even though I've known about her. Even though I was about to leave him. Even though...it still hurt. A LOT. To see them together like that, outside! Where anyone could see them together, in front of our house.
When I confronted him about it, well, it just got ugly. She sauntered inside, like she owned the place! He told me that I was lucky he hadn't kicked me out as yet, but if I didn't shut my dumbass mouth he would. He said that Nina was more important than me and "that spawn" I'm carrying.
He hit me again, and said if I didn't stop crying he'd kick me out tonight.
I begged him not to do that...more for show, than for anything else. Even he would've realised something was up if I didn't. And I didn't want him to hit me again, or hurt the baby. And...I don't think I could have NOT apologised and begged. It's just so ingrained in me to do so...
I tried to ignore them making out in the kitchen, while I watched tv. I would've gone to bed, but I was afraid he'd kick me out of there so they could use it.
Though it turned out it didn't matter - he was going to flaunt her in front of me, wherever I was.
I had to get out of there. Not that they noticed, by then. I could hear them no matter where I was in the house. I could hear the sex noises they made, and I could hear him promising to buy her whatever she wanted. That led to more loud sex.
She didn't stay the night, at least. And Alfred slept on the couch. Well, passed out, more likely. He was quite drunk.
I could not wait for him to get out of the house. I threw out the other flowers that Nina had brought over, with some pleasure, and made sure he drove off. I was on a schedule.
I then transferred §125 000 into my account, and wrote him a note, saying that I was taking half of his money, because I was his wife, and needed it to raise our daughter. I said that I was leaving him, and didn't want to see him any more.
Not long after that, I was dressed, and the moving van was there.
I didn't take everything, just the things I would use more than him, that I felt I deserved. That might hurt him, just a little. I took about half our things, which seems fair.
I have so much more I want to write, to get out, to vent and cry about, but I'm just exhausted.
But, dear diary, I've done it. I've left him.
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[ part one]