fic; untitled for now

[tatoeba]

And here's the last one! :)

ryopi / pg / here in your arms - hellogoodbye / 4110 words

The drive is silent. Ryo leans against his head against the window, staring out through the glass as the streets, buildings, sky pass by. It seems like everything outside is a blur of color, like Yamapi is driving at 100 miles an hour.

He definitely isn’t, and Ryo glances at him from the corner of his eyes. It’s sunny out and he’s wearing his usual giant sunglasses; though Ryo’s pretty sure this pair is actually Jin’s. His eyes are trained on the road and he has only one hand on the steering wheel, fingers loose at around one-o’clock. His other arm is resting against the window ledge.

Ryo looks away, smiling to himself. He closes his eyes.

He doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep until he’s shaken awake, Yamapi’s warm hand pressed against his shoulder. Everything is a little bleary when Ryo opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. Outside, through the windshield, he can see the beach, the glorious expanse of blueness that he hasn’t seen in awhile.

“Come on, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi says, stepping out of the car and walking around to the back where he pops the truck.

Ryo stretches his arms over his head, the wind blows coolly against his skin.

“Stop spacing out,” Yamapi says, tossing Ryo his small travel bag, but he’s grinning.

Ryo just smirks. “I thought that was the whole point of this vacation.”

“Eventually,” Yamapi replies. “First, let’s get our room.”

It’s a small beachfront inn that they would frequent back when work wasn’t so rigorous. Yamapi comes every summer, if only for a weekend, but it’s been years since Ryo has. At least years since he’s been there with just Yamapi.

It’s the same as he remembers it and that’s comforting. They talk amiably with the elderly owners before heading to their room on the second floor. It has windows that faces the water; Yamapi always asks for it. He claims the bed nearest the window and throws his bag onto it. Ryo flops onto his bed instantly, still groggy from his nap.

“No sleeping,” Yamapi chides, coming over to climb up on Ryo’s back. Like a large fluffy dog, radiating heat through Ryo’s clothes, making his heart fill with even more warmth. “You slept the whole way here.”

“You could’ve woken me up. I could’ve driven. But you won’t let anyone touch your baby,” Ryo replies, mostly mumbling, his mouth pressed into the pillow. He tries not to move too much beneath him.

Ryo feels Yamapi’s lips curve against the nape of his neck and then he’s sliding off him and pulling on Ryo’s arm. “Let’s go, Ryo-chan,” he says. “It’s still early enough. I want to surf.”

“You want to do everything,” Ryo amends, but lets himself be dragged up anyway. “Okay, okay,” he adds when Yamapi shakes his arm like a four year old. “Let’s go.”

Yamapi cheers, like he wouldn’t have just gone without Ryo anyway, and Ryo rolls his eyes.

They’re silent as they change into appropriate swimwear and head back outside, stopping to pull their surfboards from where they’re strapped across the top of Yamapi’s car. Yamapi darts off quickly and Ryo shakes his head, watches with amusement. Ever the summer boy, he thinks fondly, following at a much slower pace.

It’s rejuvenating, getting away. The cool water and the heat of the sun blending together for the most relaxing day Ryo’s had in a long time. Yamapi’s presence only makes it better; they haven’t hung out like this in awhile, what with his traveling around Asia and Ryo’s back-to-back dramas. NEWS’ lack of recent activities hasn’t helped either, and it’s nice, being here with his best friend.

Yamapi is the best person to go with on vacation, no matter how long or short. He always makes the best of it. Ryo’s spontaneous, doesn’t like to plan things out to the last second, and Yamapi is the same. And after years of being together, they know what each likes that it’s more or less like they can read each other’s minds.

Yamapi knows when Ryo’s tired of surfing because he collapses upon the sand first, shaking his hair, water droplets pelting Ryo as he joins him a moment later. And just as Ryo starts to think about food, Yamapi looks up at him and asks, “You hungry?”

“It’s creepy, how you do that,” Ryo says and Yamapi doesn’t even have to ask to know what he’s talking about.

He just laughs. “So you are?” And when Ryo nods, he jumps to his feet. “Good, because all that surfing has me craving food.”

“You’re always craving food,” Ryo points out, poking at Yamapi’s stomach.

“You could stand to crave some more,” Yamapi says, pinching Ryo’s waist as they make their way back.

Ryo swats his hand away. “I lose weight because of work.”

“You rarely gain weight to begin with,” Yamapi says, and it’s true. “But it’s okay! I like my Ryo-chan small and cute!” He throws an arm around Ryo’s shoulders and pulls him close. “You’re travel-sized.” He snickers, his eyes gleaming in the sun when Ryo catches his gaze.

And it makes his heart suddenly roar in his chest, his cheek pressing up against Yamapi’s wet, sun-kissed skin as he gets pulled in closer. Ryo grumbles and shoves at him. “Shut up, asshole,” he returns without any actual bite.

Yamapi just smiles at him and then shouts, “Race you back!” and runs off toward the inn, carrying his surfboard over his head.

Ryo stares after him for a moment, the pounding in his chest still persistent, before he shakes his head and rushes after when Yamapi tosses back, “Loser buys lunch! Better hurry up, Ryo-chan!”

They’re only here for the one night, and the day goes by too fast. Ryo wishes time would slow down occasionally, let him catch up mentally and physically. Everything seems to happen in blurs; drama filming, meetings, photo shoots, interviews. The days drag on and on, but then suddenly, they’re over, and just as he lies down to sleep, it’s already morning.

It was Yamapi’s idea to come to the beach; of course it was. Yamapi will take any chance he can to get away, for ten minutes, an hour, a day. It doesn’t matter how long or short. If he can get to switch his brain from ON to OFF for even a few minutes, he’ll take it.

These two days are Ryo’s only days off for awhile and he hadn’t wanted to go with Yamapi at all. The hassle of packing and driving down seemed troublesome. He could do with sleeping for two days, staying in bed and only getting up when necessary.

But Yamapi had called, had whined, had begged, had threatened bodily harm, and really, Ryo’s never been able to say no to Yamapi. He usually doesn’t even want to try.

Now, lying on the beach in the evening, watching the sun set and casting brilliant fiery colors over the water, he’s glad he came. Though, thinking about it, he’s sure it has more to do with Yamapi lying with his head on Ryo’s stomach and looking up at the sky, arms outstretched above his head as though he’s trying to catch the clouds.

Ryo stares at his fingers, long and thin, pale against the darkening sky. He thinks if Yamapi wanted to, he really could reach the stars.

Words like love are too deep, too strong, carry too much weight. It’s easy to love his parents, his brothers, his sister. It’s easy to say he loves his friends. But Ryo can’t say words like I love you when he means it, when he realizes simple friendship has turned into something more.

Ryo thinks he’s always loved Yamapi. Back when they were little, everyone loved Yamapi. He was a shining star, bright and irrepressible, eager to work and learn and please. He was going to rule the world; Ryo could see it in his eyes. He still does. Back then, they were young and naive, but Yamapi held years of knowledge on his shoulders, an adult and yet a kid at heart. And back then, it was impossible not to love him, even a little, with his my-pace ways and his crooked smile.

He doesn’t know when Yamapi went from just being his best friend to being his best friend for whom he has feelings. He’s always loved Yamapi, but now it’s different, it has been for years. He thinks there should be a day - that moment when the world shifted and it was like Ryo was looking at Yamapi for the first time.

But Ryo knows it wasn’t like that, because now that he’s thought about it and accepted it, he’s realized he falls in love with Yamapi a little bit every day. When he comes in late to work with bed hair, when he strikes a pose that Ryo’s seen hundreds of times before the camera, when he falls asleep on the couch in the dressing room, when he talks quietly on the phone with his manager, his face blank but serious. Even when he’s drunk and giggling and sloshing beer down his front, or when he’s croaking out songs at karaoke because it’s the only time he doesn’t have to try to be perfect, or when he’s stuffing food in his face so fast that his cheeks are all puffed out and he looks like an hideous hamster, or an adorable pig - it’s like every time they’re together he falls just that much more.

And, right now, it’s Yamapi lying back with his head on Ryo’s stomach, arms out and fingers grazing the changing colors of the sky, that Ryo adds to the hundreds of other Yamapi-imprints on his heart.

It’s nearly pitch black when they move to return to the inn. The sky glitters at them from above and the sounds of the water rushes in Ryo’s ears. It’s colder now, but Yamapi is warm, solid heat next to him, having moved to lie beside Ryo sometime after he’d attempted to make a sandcastle and failed.

He wouldn’t mind just laying out here longer, but it is chilly and his arms are prickling with goosebumps. He nudges Yamapi with his foot and hauls himself up, but Yamapi continues to lie there, undisturbed, and it takes moment for Ryo to realize he’s asleep.

“Figures,” he mutters under his breath. He can just barely make out Yamapi’s face in the darkness, smooth and relaxed and beautiful, and Ryo almost doesn’t want to wake him. But when Yamapi shivers a little subconsciously, he knows he has to.

“Pi,” he murmurs, shaking Yamapi awake gently. “Get up.”

Yamapi makes a childlike groaning noise and swats at Ryo’s hand. Ryo’s lips twitch amusedly, and he shakes him a little harder until Yamapi finally opens his eyes. “What?” he whines cutely and Ryo laughs.

“Get up,” he says. “It’s cold and I don’t want to carry you back inside.”

“But that would be fun,” Yamapi says, smiling as he stands, then the sudden mischievous gleam in his eyes has Ryo backing away; he’s seen that look too many times to know it’s never, ever good.

Yamapi pounces, trying to jump up onto Ryo’s back, careless to Ryo’s yelps and exclamation of, “You idiot, get off me right now!”

“Charge!” is all Yamapi says in response, even though Ryo’s barely actually holding him up, so much as Yamapi is hanging off Ryo’s neck like an overgrown monkey.

“I am not carrying your fat ass all the way back up there,” Ryo says darkly, reaching behind him to steady Yamapi.

Yamapi deflates, now merely leaning against Ryo’s back and Ryo wonders how he possibly manages to emanate perpetual warmth at all times. It makes Ryo relax too, the earlier beating of his heart quieting down until it’s just a slight patter-patter against his ribs.

“So mean, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi whines.

Ryo just rolls his eyes, turns around and pushes Yamapi back. He’s pouting a little, and the will that bubbles in Ryo’s stomach to kiss him is nearly irrepressible. “You are such a child,” Ryo says instead, meaning to sound annoyed but it comes out affectionate. He really can’t be angry at Yamapi. Not when he’s giving him a look like that, not when Ryo has to convince himself that kissing his best friend is, in fact, a bad idea. “Come on,” he mutters, turning away. “Let’s go inside before we catch colds.”

He quickly heads off and hears Yamapi rushing to catch up. They fall into step, side by side, so close that Ryo can feel Yamapi’s arm brush against his.

It’s not that late and Ryo doesn’t feel tired; a day of taking it slow and easy makes him feel more energetic than normal. Yamapi claims the shower and disappears inside the bathroom. Ryo checks his phone, sees a few messages from his manager, his mother, and Uchi. He replies to the first two and ignores Uchi’s, deciding he can just call him tomorrow, and lies down across his bed. He listens to the water from the shower, laughing when Yamapi starts singing some of Jin’s atrocious songs.

When Yamapi comes out he only has a towel around his waist and his wet hair curls at the tips, falling in a mess over his eyes. And even though Ryo’s seen him like this many times, it never stops the way his heart leaps into his throat, how the urge to reach out and press against his skin and--

“I’m taking one, too,” Ryo says quickly and after grabbing a change of clothes, escapes into the bathroom.

Under the shower, he wonders if it really was a good idea coming away with Yamapi after all. Ryo’s usually good at hiding his feelings and keeping them under control, but something about this single day and being so close to Yamapi has all his nerves suddenly on edge.

Yamapi is lying across Ryo’s bed when Ryo returns from the shower. It doesn’t surprise Ryo, and he smacks Yamapi’s leg as he passes to put his clothes away in his bag. Yamapi doesn’t stir and Ryo realizes that he’s actually fallen asleep.

He sighs, walks over to shake Yamapi’s shoulder. “Sleep in your bed,” he grumbles, but Yamapi just twists a little and continues to sleep.

Ryo stares down at him, sighing again but a smile creeps across his face. Yamapi’s face is smooth with sleep, his hair still damp and curled across this forehead. At least he managed to put clothes on, Ryo thinks, remembering one time during a tour when Yamapi had passed out naked after a shower.

Ryo pushes Yamapi over to pull the blankets out from under him. Yamapi grumbles in his sleep but doesn’t wake up, and after all these years Ryo’s certain Yamapi could sleep through the apocalypse. He drapes the blankets over Yamapi’s form and when Yamapi sighs in his sleep, snuggling up with himself, Ryo frowns because that urge is back again, eyes dropping to full lips that are parted slightly with each of Yamapi’s breaths.

He knows he shouldn’t but it would be so easy, to just lean down and kiss him, just once. The idea is more tempting than it has been in a long time, and Ryo blames the fact that it’s been awhile since he’s been around Yamapi on his own. It’s like the usual restraint he puts on himself has been slowly crumbling down in pieces ever since Yamapi picked him up that morning.

Ryo stares at him, at his stupid best friend - and that’s all it takes for him to decide. He sighs again, reaches out his hand and brushes Yamapi’s hair from his face, letting his fingers linger just a second longer against the soft skin, sliding down the side of his cheek. His eyes drop back to his lips, red even in the dim lighting of the room, and then he backs off.

He makes sure the door is locked, turns off the light, and curls under the covers of the other bed, his back to Yamapi. He closes his eyes and tries to dispel the thoughts of finally kissing his best friend out of his head.

They check out of their room a little before noon the next day, having slept most of the morning through. They drop their things in Yamapi’s car, and because Yamapi insists, head to the beach one last time. It’s busier than the day before so they don’t stay long. Ryo walks slow behind Yamapi who’s running all over and getting almost completely wet, while Ryo just strolls along the shore, the waves washing just over his feet.

“Ah, I wish we could just stay here forever,” Yamapi laments as they return to his car almost an hour and a half later. “This trip was too short.”

“We’ll stay longer next time,” Ryo replies, but they both have no idea when “next time” will happen.

“I’ll hold you to that, Ryo-chan,” is all Yamapi says in response, grinning, as he gets into the driver’s seat.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” Ryo questions, pausing with the door to the passenger’s side open in his hand.

Yamapi nods. “It’s fine, Ryo-chan,” he says and pats the leather seat. “Besides you look like you didn’t sleep at all last night. Get some rest.”

“I’m fine,” Ryo insists, even though Yamapi’s right, and he gets into the car.

Yamapi only gives Ryo a look that mixes concern and disbelief but doesn’t say anything, just simply shifts into gear and takes off.

The ride back is much like the ride there, though Ryo manages to stay awake this time. It’s probably due to Yamapi singing along to the radio, his voice pure and happy, full of life and energy. The windows are rolled down and the wind is cool against Ryo’s face from where he leans back against the seat and watches as they make their way back into the city.

“Thanks for coming with me, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi says when they stop at Ryo’s apartment.

“Yeah, no problem. It was nice,” Ryo replies, not quite meeting Yamapi’s eyes. He hasn’t been able to really look at him all day; every time he does, he just remembers last night. “Next time I’ll drive.”

Yamapi laughs. “Good,” he says. “Because I’m exhausted.”

“Come up then,” Ryo offers, even though he’s sure it’s not a good idea.

A smile crosses Yamapi’s lips. “Really? Even though you’ve been avoiding me ever since we got up.” He looks amused, when Ryo sneaks a glance at his eyes, before dropping them again to stare at the expensive upholstery.

“How am I avoiding you?” he asks, his heart only stuttering a little. “You’ve been right next to me for over a day!”

“You’re not even looking at me,” Yamapi returns, and now, he sounds almost sad.

“Sure I am,” Ryo says, looking through the window over Yamapi’s shoulder.

“Ryo-chan.”

“So you’re not coming in? Okay. I’ll see you later.”

He’s halfway out of the door when Yamapi grabs his wrist, tugging him back in and Ryo only has a moment to snap, “What the hell, Pi?” before their eyes meet and Yamapi is leaning up just a bit to brush their lips together.

Ryo’s heart seems to have stopped in his chest like someone just froze him in place. But then Yamapi’s lips move, sliding against Ryo’s, and his tongue darts out to swipe at the part between Ryo’s mouth and then a jolt goes down Ryo’s spine as though he’s been electrocuted.

It takes him a moment but then he’s kissing back and Yamapi gasps like he wasn’t expecting it. It makes Ryo laugh a little against his mouth, unable to repress the bubbling energy in his stomach. He wants to get closer but he’s still halfway out of the car and reluctantly pulls back, licking his lips as he finally looks up into Yamapi’s eyes.

Yamapi’s grinning at him, the kind of triumphant smile he gets when he pulls a successful prank on Tegoshi or like the time he was given his own solo concerts. His eyes are playful and Ryo thinks he could look at them forever, but there’s a much more burning question on his mind, and he ends up back inside the car before he asks, “What was that?”

A smirk curves onto Yamapi’s slightly wet lips; Ryo squashes down the urge to forgo the talking and just kiss him again. “Don’t know what a kiss is, Ryo-chan?” Yamapi teases and Ryo groans, feeling heat rush in his cheeks. “I could show you again if you’d like.”

He would like that too much, but he still needs to know. “No, idiot,” he replies. “Why did you--”

“Because,” Yamapi cuts in, “you didn’t last night.” His smile turns mischievous and Ryo’s heart thuds in his ears. “I was waiting for you to do it.”

If possible Ryo’s face turns even redder. “You were awake?!” he exclaims.

Yamapi smiles enigmatically. “Maybe a little,” he replies and Ryo drops his face into his hands, mortified. He’s not sure if he’s glad Yamapi caught him almost kissing him, or if maybe he wishes now he’d just gone through with it. Either way, he feels a little like he’s been hit over the head with a shovel and thinks he’d like nothing better than to hide somewhere.

He jumps a little when Yamapi pats his shoulder and says, “Ryo-chan,” in a soft voice. Ryo looks at him hesitantly but then Yamapi is kissing him again and his worries fade away into pleasure, because this is what he’s always wanted, and embarrassment won’t get in the way of it.

When they pull away again, it feels a little like hours have passed, though it was only probably a few minutes. Ryo’s suddenly glad he told Yamapi to park in the parking garage than drop him out front, and thankfully the place is empty. He glances at Yamapi, feeling oddly shy, like he hasn’t known Yamapi for over half his life and just taken a step in a completely new direction and--

“Ryo-chan, you’re thinking too much,” Yamapi cuts across Ryo’s thoughts. He’s still close that his breath is warm against Ryo’s skin. “This is what you want, isn’t it?”

Ryo turns to him. “Is it what you want?”

“I don’t just go around kissing people, you know.”

Ryo smirks. “Really? Because I have evidence from your birthday a few years ago that proves otherwise.”

“I was drunk!” Yamapi exclaims. “That totally doesn’t count! I don’t go around kissing people when I--” He cuts himself off, looking a little embarrassed, and Ryo’s eyes widen. Yamapi very rarely gets embarrassed, even less so around him, and his heart is suddenly thumping so loudly in his chest he’s not sure Yamapi can’t hear it.

“When you what, Pi?” Ryo prompts.

He doesn’t reply right away and they sit there in silence. Just as Ryo’s starting to get fed up, thinking that maybe this is some joke or trick or something, Yamapi heaves a breath and says, “When I mean it.”

And, really, that’s all Ryo’s ever wanted to hear; it’s more than he ever expected to hear. He closes the space between them again, lips molding together like they were always meant to be, and it’s like this weight he didn’t know was holding him down has suddenly lifted from his body.

Yamapi’s fingers tangle in his hair and he kisses back just as eagerly, and when they pull away some moments later, their laughter is loud in the emptiness of the garage.

“So, can I still come up?” Yamapi questions, grinning, and the suggestive tone of his voice doesn’t go unnoticed.

Ryo just nods, looking away quickly and scrambling out the door. “Sure, whatever you want,” he replies.

“Dangerous words, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi laughs as he walks with Ryo toward the exit, and Ryo flushes as he slugs Yamapi in the arm.

“That is not what I--” he starts but is cut off by Yamapi’s kiss. Ryo could definitely get used to this, and tries not to sound too pitiful when Yamapi pulls away with a smile that makes Ryo’s heart beat harder than the kiss did.

Yamapi slides his hand down Ryo’s arm and intertwines their fingers, his palm warm against Ryo’s, and feels the heat in his cheeks. But Yamapi doesn’t say anything, just gently pulls and leads Ryo toward the doors, and Ryo follows after him like he always has.