fic; unbreakable (part 2)
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 15th, 2013 at 12:34 AM
You ignored my call. :(
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 15th, 2013 at 10:14 AM
What, I did not! You never called!
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 16th, 2013 at 11:29 AM
I did too! Check your phone.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 17th, 2013 at 12:50 PM
…So you did. Sorry. I was out when you called. I didn’t hear it.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 17th, 2013 at 7:18 PM
That hurts, Shige.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 17th, 2013 at 11:44 PM
I said I’m sorry! I really am. I’ll call you. When are you free?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 18th, 2013 at 8:00 AM
Don’t worry about it. Instead of calling, just come to my next show, okay? I already sent you the tickets. You should get them soon. We’ll talk then.
Also, make sure you take off the day after too. ;)
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 19th, 2013 at 3:18 PM
I got the tickets. I’ll be there.
Why would I have to take off the day af-Oh.
Is that all you think about?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 20th, 2013 at 2:13 AM
No. :D
--Ryo
* * *
If Ryo was rarely in the apartment before his record deal, he was sparse afterward. It makes Shige a little sad, even though he won’t ever, ever, ever admit it, but it’s not something he can fix. Ryo signs a contract with Avex and they have him working harder than he ever has in his life. When Shige does see him, he’s usually passed out in his bed, sometimes even Shige’s bed, holding one of Shige’s pillows to him and denying Shige’s accusations that he does it because he misses Shige, too.
Nothing changes between them; they’re still roommates, still best friends. But now, now their touches linger and warm them up, now there are occasional kisses that leave them both grinning, now there are more feelings that swell in their hearts.
It’s probably the easiest relationship Shige has ever been in. And it’s also the only one he wants for the future.
They might not see each other as easily anymore, but it makes the moments when they do that much better. And Shige might already be a little addicted to Ryo’s kisses, and his touch, his rough, calloused fingers over his skin, and his soft breath in Shige’s ear.
Now, when Ryo’s not around, Shige actively misses him, waits for when he’ll get back, wonder what’s taking him so long. But then, when he thinks about it, he realizes it’s always sort of been that way.
It takes a month of rigorous work for Ryo before the upside of signing finally shines through, just as the summer starts to fade away. Shige’s woken up by Ryo collapsing into his bed some time past midnight late in August, not bothering to undress as he pulls Shige close to him and says, “Are you awake?”
“I am now,” Shige mutters tiredly, eyes still closed.
“Sorry,” Ryo replies, though he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Album is finished. Single finished. It’s being released next month.”
Shige turns around and finally looks at Ryo. He smiles. “About time,” he says and Ryo chuckles.
“A tour is being planned after the release,” Ryo continues and holds Shige tighter. “I might not be around.”
Shige doesn’t reply; he gets what Ryo’s trying to tell him. It’s something he’s thought of but never spent too much time dwelling on it. He knew this would happen eventually. He curls his fingers into Ryo’s shirt and kisses him on the mouth slowly. When he pulls back he smiles and says, “I get it, Ryo.”
Ryo frowns at him. “What, you’re not going to whine about it?”
“Do you want me to?”
“It’d be nice to know you’d miss me, is all,” Ryo replies.
Shige laughs, snuggles closer. “We still have a month,” he says. “Don’t try to force us apart before the fact, Ryo.”
“I just wanted you to know,” Ryo replies.
“It’s okay,” Shige says and closes his eyes. “Can we sleep now?”
“Yeah,” Ryo murmurs into Shige’s hair and his fingers grasp for Shige’s until he finds them beneath the covers, holding on tightly as if he’d lose him otherwise. Shige squeezes back reassuringly before letting sleep claim him.
In the morning, Ryo is gone, and Shige gets the first taste of loneliness, wonders if this is what it’ll be like. But when he finds a note on his desk from Ryo in his hasty scribble that says he’ll be home early today, no matter what, Shige just smiles and knows it’ll have to be something he’ll have to get used to.
* * *
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 22nd, 2013 at 8:41 AM
I ran into Pi the other day. He told me to tell you to stop ignoring all of his calls.
We’re going out tomorrow night and he told me to tell you because it would piss you off. :P
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 22nd, 2013 at 10:19 AM
What.
I’m going to kill Pi.
Don’t go out with him.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 22nd, 2013 at 3:44 PM
I’ll go out with whomever I please. Besides we’re just getting some drinks. It’s not a big deal. Koyama and Akanishi are meeting us, too.
If you could make it, well, that’d be nice.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 22nd, 2013 at 11:57 PM
Fuck, I’m performing tomorrow. I’ll be in Fukuoka. Then I’m heading to Taiwan.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 23rd, 2013 at 12:13 AM
Oh. Well, it can’t be helped then. Maybe next time. :)
I’ll take pictures.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 24th, 2013 at 1:16 AM
Saw the photos. You guys are idiots. Glad to see that hasn’t changed.
I miss you.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 23rd, 2013 at 12:13 AM
I miss you, too.
~Shige
* * *
“You’re coming right?” Ryo questions, and he sounds a little worried over the phone.
“Of course I am,” Shige replies, staring at the tickets in his hands, the ones for Ryo’s first concert on his upcoming two-month long tour. “It’s your first concert as a famous person. How can I not go?”
Ryo lets out a sigh of relief on the other end and Shige smiles. “I’m glad,” he says.
Shige reads between the lines. “Are you nervous?”
It takes a moment before Ryo responds and when he does Shige just hears the bravado. “What, no! Of course not,” he says. “Why should I be?”
“Exactly,” Shige says, playing along, “especially when your single debuted at number one on the charts! You have nothing to worry about.”
“Exactly,” Ryo agrees and Shige bites back a laugh. “Right. You’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Shige says, grinning as he lays back in bed and holds up the tickets to stare at them. “Why’d you get me two?”
“Bring Koyama,” Ryo says. “I know you won’t come alone.”
“You’re right,” he says and Ryo laughs.
“Of course I am,” he mimics. And then curses beneath his breath before he says, “I have to go. More practice.”
“Good luck,” Shige replies, feeling a little depressed but hoping it’s not audible in his voice. Once Ryo replies with a rushed goodbye and then hangs up, Shige sighs. He stares at tickets again and then gets up to pin them onto his bulletin board. He calls Koyama and says, “Are you free October 2nd? At seven? Ryo’s concert. Great, I’ll meet you there next week then.”
He shuts his phone and turns to the calendar hanging from the wall and smiling, circles the 2nd with a bright red pen.
* * *
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 29th, 2013 at 10:45 PM
Caught you on MSte tonight. You look good. I really like that song.
Also who is this best friend you’re talking about that you don’t miss at all? I recall an email from last week that says otherwise.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 30th, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Don’t buy the single this time around. I’m sending it to you. See, I’m telling you beforehand so you won’t bitch about having two copies.
Who said I was talking about you? Maybe I meant Pi.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 31st, 2013 at 12:13 AM
See, you should’ve just done that from the beginning. Thank you.
Whatever you say, Ryo.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
March 31st, 2013 at 3:43 AM
I never told you because I wanted them to be surprises! How did I know you loved me enough to go buy them yourself?
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
March 31st, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Of course I’d go and buy them, who do you think I am?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 1st, 2013 at 4:09 AM
Then why do you hide then under your bed?
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 2nd, 2013 at 5:37 PM
Shut up.
~Shige
* * *
Shige glances at the clock again, and five seconds later, he looks again. Groaning when time seems to be moving backwards instead of forwards, Shige starts pacing the apartment instead, making sure everything is clean and in place. For a few minutes he stands by the window and watches it snow, and then finds himself looking at the clock again.
Ryo’s late, but that’s not entirely surprising. But it’s been weeks since they’ve seen each other and Shige might be more than just excited. Maybe a little obsessive, actually, considering how he keeps checking the clock.
When Shige hears the doorknob click and turn, he rushes into the kitchen and pretends to look busy. Ryo nearly stumbles through the doorway with his guitar case and small duffel bag, heavy coat and a knit cap.
“Hey, I’m back,” Ryo calls, shutting the door behind him and Shige tries not to look obvious when he joins him and replies, “Welcome back!”
But Ryo grins, pulls him close and kisses him hard on the mouth. Shige’s arms wrap around his back, eyes closing as he gives into the feeling, the longing, the wait, not realizing just how much he’d been missing this until right now. He almost doesn’t want to let go but Ryo is backing away and Shige pulls back reluctantly, grabbing the duffle bag from his hand and dropping it onto the couch.
“Sorry I’m late,” Ryo says, shrugging out of his coat and Shige takes it to put it into the closet. “Traffic was a bitch.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Shige replies flippantly. “I didn’t even notice.”
Ryo smirks, grabs Shige and says, looking straight into his eyes, “You’re telling me you weren’t sitting there and staring at the clock the entire time?”
Shige forces himself not to break eye contact when he lies, “Yes. I didn’t even realize.”
Ryo laughs and kisses him again. “You’re an awful liar, Shige,” he replies and ruffles Shige’s hair before letting him go. He stretches and says, “It’s good to be home.”
Shige grins and says, “Want to eat now? Or do you want to sleep? You look tired.”
Ryo makes a thoughtful noise and replies, “Sleep, but you’re coming with me.”
Shige was going to without being told, and he follows Ryo into his bedroom. He lets himself get pushed onto the mattress, welcomes Ryo on top of him, following with his lips on his again, kissing him slowly and gently as if they had all the time in the world, instead of just two days. But for Shige, it’s more than enough for now.
When Ryo pulls away he looks from one of Shige’s eyes to the other, he grins and questions, “So, did you get me a present?”
Shige rolls his eyes, pushes Ryo off him. “Maybe,” he replies.
Ryo pokes him and says, “Give it to me~”
“First give me my present,” Shige replies and Ryo smirks.
“I am your present!” he declares. “Just my presence, the fact that I’m home is present enough, surely.”
It is, but Shige will never tell him that. Instead he just scoffs and teases, “I’ve had better presents.”
Ryo makes a scandalized noise and glares at him while Shige just laughs at his expression. Ryo shakes his head, unable to help his amusement, lips quirking at the corners until he shuts Shige up with his mouth.
Pulling away a few moments later he says, “Merry Christmas,” and Shige can’t help but think it’s already one of the best Christmases he’s ever had.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 3rd, 2013 at 12:17 AM
You know, I was wondering, why don’t you ever ask about where I am?
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 3rd, 2013 at 7:10 AM
…Because I already have your tour schedule printed out.
You’re in Hokkaido now, aren’t you? Then heading to Seoul.
Make sure you get me souvenirs.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 3rd, 2013 at 4:44 PM
Aw, Shige, I didn’t know you cared so much.
I might already have a bag-full just for you.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 3rd, 2013 at 10:23 PM
You were the one who told me to do it, remember?
Why haven’t you sent them to me?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido
April 4th, 2013 at 2:55 AM
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Because I want to give them to you in person. Just a month left and I’ll be home.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 4th, 2013 at 9:20 AM
A month is a long time! You should just send them to me now.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 4th, 2013 at 3:38 PM
Do you care more about seeing the presents or seeing me?!
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 4th, 2013 at 9:49 PM
The presents.
~Shige
* * *
It’s nice to have Ryo around again, for January and February of the new year his schedule calms down, letting him rest after his successful tour. They finally get around to moving Ryo’s things into Shige’s room and transforms Ryo’s room into a makeshift studio. Ryo spends most of his days there, writing new songs for his next album, filling the apartment with his dulcet tones and beautiful music.
Shige won’t admit how much he missed it, resorting to blasting Ryo’s CD instead and feeling a little foolish whenever he did. Now he can listen along without embarrassment, until Ryo catches him singing the lyrics under his breath. Then Shige never hears the end of it.
While Ryo’s activities dwindle down, Shige’s life becomes more hectic. As the end of the school year approaches, Shige spends more time sitting in the studio with Ryo, his nose buried in his book while Ryo composes. He’s surprised he’s almost already made it through his first year of graduate law school while maintaining top grades. Ryo just laughs whenever Shige has a moment of hysterics and is convinced he’ll fail everything, ruffles his hair and spends the next week calling Shige genius as if it’ll encourage Shige to believe he is.
It doesn’t, not really, but Ryo’s backhanded way of supporting him does, and Shige studies harder until he nearly collapses from it. But it’s worth it, in the end, when his final reports and exams are handed in and he’s certain he’s aced everything. And he does, of course, which makes Ryo spend the next week telling him I told you so.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 4th, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Well, if that’s how it is, maybe I won’t give them to you. :P
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 5th, 2013 at 8:17 AM
Okay, fine, fine. You know I want to see you.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 5th, 2013 at 1:43 PM
You’re only saying that so you get the presents, aren’t you?
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 5th, 2013 at 4:52 PM
Yes. :D
~Shige
* * *
“What’re you doing here?” Shige asks, surprised to find Ryo waiting for him by the entrance. “I thought you had work.”
“Postponed. Some stuff came up. I don’t care, gives me a free day.” He grins at Shige and adds, “You’re done with your exams, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I just finished my last exam.”
“Want to go somewhere?” he asks, already leading Shige toward his car.
Shige raises a brow at him but he’s smiling. “Where?”
Ryo grins at him. “It’s summer! Where else?” he replies and Shige laughs, shaking his head, but gets into the car all the same.
It’s still early enough that the beach isn’t too crowded, and they like it better that way. Ryo had stopped by the apartment before getting Shige and grabbed swimwear. After changing Ryo insists on teaching Shige to surf, something Shige has tried and failed to do and has since never wanted to try again. But Ryo’s really annoying when he sets his mind to something and Shige finds himself giving in just to shut him up.
With Ryo as his instructor, Shige does learn much more than he ever did before, but still his sense of balance is nearly nonexistent leading to him falling off way too many times. While still on the beach.
“You are pathetic,” Ryo says, amused. “I don’t know how you manage to walk around everyday.”
“Shut up,” Shige mutters darkly from where he’s sitting on the sand. “I told you it was pointless.”
“It’s okay,” Ryo says, holding out a hand and Shige takes it, gets back to his feet. “Mind if I go out for awhile?”
Shige shakes his head and hands him the surfboard. “I’ll wait here, do some reading.”
Ryo gives him a weird look. “You just finished the year and you want to read?”
“I bought a really interesting book!” Shige defends himself and Ryo just laughs.
“Whatever you say, genius,” he replies with a smirk before heading down to the waves.
Shige watches him for awhile, before turning and heading back to the car to grab his book. Sitting back on the sand, he reads for awhile until it’s obvious he’s more interested in watching Ryo surf and puts the book aside to do that instead. It’s the first time they’ve been to the beach together and Shige hopes that it won’t be the last, enjoys the breeze and the sun on his skin, and more than anything, likes watching Ryo.
He ends up asleep after awhile and is woken up by water flicking over his face. He peers his eyes open to find Ryo standing above him, shaking his head obnoxiously over him and Shige laughs, swats at his knee. Grinning, Ryo lies down beside him and then leans over to suddenly press a kiss to Shige’s lips slowly.
Shige pushes him away and glances around the area, hisses, “What if people see? You’re kind of famous now, you know.”
“Fuck them,” Ryo replies, as he would, and Shige shakes his head at him.
“You’re impossible,” he says, and laughs when Ryo doesn’t deny the accusation.
* * *
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 8th, 2013 at 7:12 PM
Are you ignoring me because of the presents thing? Because that’s lame.
I’ll be coming to the Yokohama concert, by the way. :)
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 8th, 2013 at 11:57 PM
I haven’t been ignoring you. I just haven’t been emailing you. :P
Really?! You’re not lying are you? I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make any of the shows.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 9th, 2013 at 1:47 AM
Oh okay, thanks for clearing that up.
That’s what I thought, but some things got moved around and I have a free night. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stick around though.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 9th, 2013 at 6:33 AM
You’re welcome. :)
What?! What’s the point of you coming to the concert if you can’t stick around afterward?
Oh, and tell Pi happy birthday from me if you see him. He’ll kill me if I don’t and I don’t want to call him and have him talk my ear off.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 9th, 2013 at 3:17 PM
Because I have classes in the morning and I have to get back after the concert. I know that won’t happen if I stay after.
Okay, I will, I’ll see him tonight for his party. Are you going to make it?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 10th, 2013 at 3:33 AM
Skip your class. Who cares if you miss one? You have perfect attendance anyway.
Obviously I didn’t since it’s already after the fact. Next time.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 10th, 2013 at 9:45 PM
See, I knew you’d say that. And no, I will not skip my class.
~Shige
* * *
“Are you skipping your classes?” Ryo questions, staring at Shige who is bundled up under his covers.
“I’m sick,” he responds stuffily. “It’s excusable.”
“You sound awful,” Ryo replies and reaches down to press his hand against Shige’s forehead. “Definitely have a fever, too. Have you taken anything?”
Shige shakes his head. “I haven’t been able to move except to send my professors emails. I’m freezing.”
“Okay,” Ryo replies. “Stay here, I’ll get something.”
“Don’t you have work?” Shige questions, eyes involuntarily closing as drowsiness gets to him. “You’re going to be late.”
“I’ll call in sick, too,” Ryo replies. “Someone has to take care of you.”
“You can’t do that,” Shige protests even though inwardly he hopes Ryo really will. “You should leave so you don’t get sick, too.”
“You’re so stupid,” Ryo says, giving Shige is patented you-are-so-stupid look. “Don’t fall asleep, okay? I’m getting you some meds.”
Shige tries to protest again but Ryo’s already out the door, pulling out his phone to undoubtedly call his manager. He’s glad, though, in all honesty, because it sucks being stuck at home alone while sick. Fifteen minutes later Ryo returns with a bowl of soup and medication and helps Shige sit up before handing him the bowl. “After you eat,” he says, “you take this medication and then sleep, all right?”
“Yes, Mom,” Shige mutters receiving a glare in return but he gratefully takes the soup and swallows down a few mouthfuls.
For the rest of the day, Ryo makes sure Shige takes medication every five hours on the dot, waking him up if necessary so his fever will break that much sooner. He makes lunch and eats with him in bed while animatedly talking about recent arguments with his manager, most of which Shige thinks are farfetched and untrue, and later brings in his guitar to play the song he’s been working on recently. It lulls Shige to sleep yet again, Ryo’s soft voice playing on in his dreams.
In the morning, Shige feels better than ever, but Ryo’s grumbling beneath the covers and glaring at him when he laughs. He takes the day off too, missing another class, but it’s worth it to help take care of Ryo for once.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 15th, 2013 at 2:11 AM
I’m glad you were at the show last night, but you should’ve stayed.
What’d you think, by the way?
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 15th, 2013 at 12:36 PM
I’m sorry, I told you I have classes today that I can’t miss.
It was great, as expected. I really like the new songs. Your voice sounded a little hoarse though, so make sure you should hydrate properly and rest.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 15th, 2013 at 9:23 PM
It’s okay, I get it. There’s just less than a month now, anyway.
Aw, Shige, you care. <3 Don’t worry, I’m completely rested up now.
--Ryo
* * *
“Happy birthday,” Ryo says tiredly into the phone and Shige smiles as he lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Am I first?”
“Close,” Shige replies. “Second. Koyama already called.”
“Fucker,” Ryo mutters and Shige laughs. “I would’ve called earlier but my manager would not stop talking and-”
“It’s okay, Ryo,” Shige replies. “I’m glad you called at all.”
“Course I would. It’s your twenty-fifth birthday. I have to call to tell you how old you are now,” Ryo replies and Shige can feel the grin in his voice.
“You forget that you are older,” Shige says, “you’re starting to push thirty.”
“Shut up about that. I still have two years,” Ryo snaps and Shige laughs again. Ryo’s silent for awhile leading Shige to wonder what’s wrong before he finally says, “Sorry I can’t make it tonight.”
Shige shrugs even though Ryo can’t see. “Don’t worry about it,” he replies. “As long as you make it up when you’re back next week.”
Ryo chuckles. “Oh, you know I will,” he says and the promise in his voice already has Shige looking forward to it.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 17th, 2013 at 12:13 AM
What’re you up to lately? You haven’t been telling me anything.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 17th, 2013 at 7:45 AM
That’s because you told me not to bore you with all of my legal information, remember?
Nothing is going on, really. Just work and classes and studying for the bar. The usual.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 17th, 2013 at 1:12 PM
Oh, that’s right. And damn, you’re still as boring as ever. You’re probably even more boring when I’m not around.
How’s the studying going?
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 17th, 2013 at 8:47 PM
I’m not boring. I’m studious. There’s a difference.
It’s all right. I don’t feel prepared at all though. And the exam is creeping up on me.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 17th, 2013 at 11:55 PM
No there isn’t. Not when it comes to you.
You still have time. You’ll be fine. You always are.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 18th, 2013 at 6:12 AM
I hate you.
And don’t say that!! You’re totally jinxing me and I’m going to fail, I know I am!!
~Shige
* * *
Shige comes home a cold day in December after classes, excited to find Ryo’s shoes in the genkan, expecting the older man to still be at work. He finds Ryo across the couch, an arm over his eyes and smiles at the familiar sight. Deciding it best not to disturb him, Shige heads toward his room but something catches his wrist. Looking down, Ryo’s pulling him back until Shige nearly falls across the arm rest as Ryo sits up.
“Hey,” he says. “I thought you were sleeping.”
Ryo shakes his head. “Waiting for you.”
Shige notices the tone and blinks at him. “What’s up?” he questions.
Ryo just frowns and holds onto Shige’s hand tighter. “Something came up,” he says, “for work.”
Shige stares, trepidation sinking into him, thinking someone’s found out, someone’s realized they live together, someone saw them together, someone’s leaked information, something horribly, horribly wrong has happened. “W-What?” he asks, voice a little unsteady.
Ryo finally looks at him, tired, distraught eyes, and Shige’s heart plummets. “I’m not sure how to say it,” he admits.
Shige gnaws on his bottom lip before he manages to reply, trying to keep his voice light, “Ryo, it’s me. You can tell me anything. What’s going on?”
Ryo nods like he understands but he still doesn’t say anything and Shige is ready to beat it out of him when he finally answers, “They want me to do an Asia tour next year.”
A few seconds of silence ring in Shige’s ears, braced for the worst, and it takes a long while for Ryo’s words to fully sink in. Only when Ryo waves a hand before his face and says, “Shige?” does he snap out of it and relief floods his veins. He bursts into laughter. Now Ryo’s looking at him like he’s gone insane and Shige spends a few whole minutes getting it out of his system before he can meet Ryo’s eyes again.
“That’s it?” he questions and Ryo gives him a confused look. “God, Ryo, the way you were acting, I thought something bad happened.”
“Well, no, but, it’s an Asia tour,” Ryo repeats as if Shige hadn’t heard the first time.
“I know!” Shige exclaims. “That’s amazing! Congrats!”
“Shige,” Ryo says, pushing Shige back with hands on his shoulders when Shige tries to hug him. “I’ll be gone for a much longer time than usual. They’re thinking February to May. That’s just two months from now.”
Shige finally gets what Ryo’s so worried about and his concern makes Shige’s skin tingle with warmth. He smiles, reaches out to put his hands on Ryo’s shoulders and says firmly, “I know. But if you think for one second I’m going to complain about this amazing chance you’re getting, you don’t know me every well.”
“But-”
“It’s cute,” Shige muses, “that you’re more worried about not being here than you are about your tour.”
Ryo shoves him a little and backs away, glowering. “That is not what I’m worried about,” he mutters defiantly and Shige smirks.
“Oh, really? What is it then?” he questions with a raised brow, and when Ryo doesn’t reply he adds, “That’s what I thought.”
“Are you really okay with it?”
“I have to be. It’ll be hard but we’ll figure something out,” he replies and smiles. “You are cute.”
“Fuck you,” Ryo snaps. “I am not.”
“You are~” Shige teases, pokes him in the cheek until Ryo makes an angry noise and tackles him flat against the couch.
Staring up at him, Shige feels a sense of loss in his veins. This isn’t as bad as getting caught, but it’s up there. Ryo not being in Japan means less chances of him coming home every once in awhile for just a few hours before heading off somewhere else as he usually does on tours. Ryo not being in Japan means a longer period with an empty apartment and that feeling of loneliness that latches onto him. Ryo not being in Japan means that active feeling of missing him that Shige tries to ignore but never manages.
“It sucks a little,” he admits and Ryo laughs, but Shige can tell he’s pleased.
“Don’t worry,” he says, “I’ll bring you presents.”
“You’d better,” Shige replies. “We’ll have to email each other a lot or something. Everyday.”
“If you want to,” Ryo replies. “Though everyday might be hard.”
“Whenever we can, then,” Shige insists. “I’ll be busy too, then, come to think of it. Final year and the exam.”
“You’ll be fine, genius,” Ryo says. “You’ll pass even if you don’t study.”
Shige swats him and glares. “Don’t say that, you’ll jinx it!” he exclaims and Ryo shakes his head, amusement in his eyes, before he leans down to shut up Shige’s upcoming rant with his lips.
When he pulls back he says, “We’ll make the next two months the best we’ve ever had.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Shige replies, grinning, and lets Ryo kiss him again.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 18th, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Shige, breathe. You are not going to fail. And if you do, you take it again? Don’t only like 3% of people pass the bar the first time?
But you’re a genius so you’ll pass.
Seriously, I hope you do so I don’t have to hear you whine about it anymore.
I mean. Good luck.
Really, good luck.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 20th, 2013 at 9:20 PM
I want to be in that 3% okay?! I’d like to stop worrying about it too, you know.
And, thanks. I’ll do my best.
~Shige
* * *
“Make sure you print off the schedule of my tour I sent you,” Ryo says over dinner late in January.
Shige pauses in raising chopsticks to his mouth. “Why?” he questions.
Ryo stares at him like it’s obvious. “So that you know where I am?” he replies.
“But you could tell me that in an email easily,” Shige says, failing to find the point that Ryo’s trying to make.
“Well it’s easier if you just have it all, don’t you think?” Ryo says. “That way you’ll know when I’m playing around here, and you can come.”
Shige grins. “Ah, that’s why,” he says knowingly and Ryo frowns at him. “Okay, fine. I’ll do it. Happy?”
“Very,” Ryo retorts. Then he softens his expression and adds, “You don’t have to, you know, I was just thinking.”
Shige rolls his eyes. “Make up your mind, Ryo,” he says exasperatedly. “You can’t say it and then back out from it.”
“Forget I said anything then,” Ryo says and Shige shrugs, replies, “Okay,” before getting to his feet, having finished eating.
Ryo’s tour starts in two weeks. Shige’s mentally counting down the days, both excited for him and depressed that he’s leaving. The emotions are conflicting, making some days harder than others, and Shige isn’t sure what he’s going to do once Ryo does leave. His first destination is all the way down to Kagoshima for a few shows and then straight onto Kumamoto, working his way through Japan before tackling Korea, Thailand, Taiwan and China.
It’s a big deal for a still relatively new artist, and Shige can tell Ryo’s nervous even though he doesn’t say he is. He spends most of his days shut up in the makeshift studio, writing song after song until he’s nearly sung his voice dry and Shige reprimands him for it every time, telling him he won’t have a voice to use for his tour if he keeps this up.
Shige washes up his dishes and heads to the bedroom, grabbing homework and sprawling across the bed. Ryo walks in ten minutes later and collapses beside him, sending one of Shige’s books toppling to the floor. Shige gives him a dark look but Ryo seems unconcerned, lying on his back with his head pillowed in his hands.
This happens more often than not; Ryo napping while Shige lies beside him and studies. It’s one of the things Shige realizes he’ll miss most, the comfort and ease of just being together. But of course he’ll never tell Ryo that, even though he’s sure Ryo knows. That’s what Shige loves about their…whatever it is they have. Relationship. It’s been a couple of months over a year that since that day Ryo kissed him, since that day that really changed nothing except being a little closer, a little more intimate. But they’ve never actually said it one another. Those words. Shige feels it, knows that must be what it is, that warmth that fills his veins whenever Ryo’s around. What else could it be?
And Shige doesn’t have to worry about Ryo, he knows Ryo feels the same way. Feels it in everything he does because Ryo’s actually a little shy about saying those kinds of things, acting more like a five-year-old with a crush than an adult in love. But that’s okay, Shige thinks. It’s them. And they make it work.
And they’ll make it work when Ryo’s away, just like the last two times he was on tour. Shige smiles, looking up at Ryo whose eyes are closed, breathing evenly.
“Why’re you staring at me?” Ryo questions suddenly, startling Shige. “I can feel it.”
“Hm, nothing,” Shige replies.
Ryo peers open his eyes to look at him carefully and Shige just stares back until Ryo closes his eyes again and mutters, “You’re weird.”
Shige grins and pokes Ryo in the leg with his pen in response.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 25th, 2013 at 5:40 AM
I can’t believe I have to be up at this hour. You’re still probably sleeping aren’t you? So not fair. Let’s switch lives.
Never mind, I don’t want to be boring like you.
Should I start a countdown? 10 days.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 25th, 2013 at 9:12 AM
Well, I don’t particularly want your life either. Imagine having to get up at five. No thanks.
You are such a sap. I wonder if your fans realize just how sappy you are. And it’s not that bad, you know. I did see you just last month, remember?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 25th, 2013 at 11:38 PM
Fuck you, I am not a sap. I am just being realistic. And that doesn’t even count, we talked for like ten minutes and then you left.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
April 26th, 2013 at 10:28 AM
You are totally a sap. But in a good way. Does that make it better?
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
April 30th, 2013 at 7:44 PM
No, it doesn’t.
--Ryo
* * *
Automatically Shige calls out “I’m home!” when he steps into the genkan, but realizes belatedly that Ryo’s not around to reply. It’s been that way for the past few days but Shige hasn’t quite gotten used to it. Sighing, he heads straight to his room and checks his emails. He’d made Ryo promise to try and write some as calling each other would be too difficult; Shige spends all day at class or work, and Ryo spends most of his nights performing. Emailing they could do whenever through their phones or computers and it’d be the easiest way to keep in touch.
Of course Ryo hasn’t sent one yet, Shige thinks as he stares at the inbox. He knows he’ll have to be first to get it started. He opens up a new message, types in Ryo’s address and stares at the February 8th, 2013 date until he thinks of something to say.
To: Ryo
From: Shige
February 8th, 2013 at 8:32 PM
Hey, I guess I’ll start this emailing thing up. Though I don’t even know what to tell you. This is harder than I thought it’d be.
Shige groans as he stares at the blinking cursor until finally just typing up what he’s learned in class the past few days along with what’s been going on at work. It fills up the email nicely and he hesitates at the end, wondering if I miss you sounds too cheesy. He leaves it out, in the end, because he’s sure Ryo knows, and clicks send before he changes his mind.
When he gets Ryo’s response that night before bed, some witty comments about Shige not even knowing how to write a proper email, Shige’s sure that everything will be okay.
* * *
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
May 3rd, 2013 at 9:13 PM
When are you home tomorrow? I should be back around three.
--Ryo
To: Ryo
From: Shige
May 3rd, 2013 at 10:42 PM
I’ll be home then. I have a study group in the morning, but I’ll be home at three.
Be safe coming home. I’ll see you soon.
~Shige
To: Kato Shigeaki
From: Nishikido Ryo
May 4th, 2013 at 2:19 PM
I’m on my way.
* * *
It’s a little addictive how much Shige starts checking his email, just to see if Ryo’s sent him another one. But it’s fun, and it makes the loneliness much more bearable. They’re still together even if they’re separated and Shige wonders what he was worrying so much about in the beginning.
They’re pretty nonsensical emails, mostly bickering and rarely informative, but Ryo doesn’t like hearing about Shige’s classes and Ryo refuses to tell Shige anything about his work because it’s all repetitive.
So they make fun of each other instead, talk about whatever is on their mind at the moment, just a few lines each, nothing extravagant and time-consuming because they’re both busy. And it works, it’s easy and it’s enjoyable and Shige might be checking off each show on the schedule Ryo told him to print out, counting down until the final day when he’ll return.
It’s still a long time away, but he’s confident they’ll make it through, even stronger than before.
* * *
The second Ryo opens the door, Shige is there, pulling him in and into a hug and Ryo almost stumbles back out of the door from the force of it. He forces his way inside, manages to get his guitar and duffle bag off his shoulders and to the floor before he returns Shige’s gesture just as enthusiastically.
It takes some effort because Shige doesn’t seem willing to let go, but he finally pulls away and stares into Shige’s bright eyes. Smirking, he questions, “So, did you miss me?”
Shige laughs, then gives him a flippant look as he replies with a defiant, “No.”
Ryo’s smirk turns into a grin and he wraps his arms around Shige tighter and closes the space between them with a long-awaited kiss.
end.
note: 1. Wikipedia explains that it’s required for people to go to graduate school for law after undergrad in Japan and then take the bar after that, which is what Shige is doing in this fic. So if it seems like he’s in school for a long time, it’s because he was.
2. The non-email sections started in July 2009 with Ryo moving in. The entire fic spans a little over three and a half years. Just in case you were wondering.
3. a;lskd;gasd I-I really hope you enjoyed it!! Thank you very much for reading! ♥♥