a short scene

Dec 09, 2006 23:36

As she sank into the seat across from me, her face slowly settled down between her shoulders, gliding side to side as she hunched forward, toward me, into me. She began to talk, her voice flowing smoothly back out over the ice in her scotch, three glances back and forth across the table for every once raised up to me. Nervous movements of her hands ( Read more... )

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simplexorganism December 11 2006, 04:22:12 UTC
Thanks.
The lack of dialog is due directly to the fact that, as the character discusses, he doesn't remember what was said when he thinks back. He's just recalling what he DOES remember, which is mostly her movements.

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simplexorganism December 17 2006, 04:52:46 UTC
Dialog is for the weak.
Or I just can't write good dialog.
Or I just don't try.
Or I write dialog in my head, constantly, all day long, so that by the time I have a pen in my hand or my fingers on the keyboard, I've already had the conversation I would have written about ten times, and I'm sick of it, so I just talk about the people's bodies and movements.
You'll notice that I don't ever go into the other person's head, either. I'm very much a believer in non-omniscient narrators.

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