maybe i should have taken that xanax she tried to give me as i sat, quaking, in her car in the parking lot at my work this 11am morning.

anything would be better than feeling this way.

nothing ever really prepares you for life, no matter how hard you try.

thick, rich, wrenching, taut

i sink to your bottom.

noise [people] lights
you
emerge
catch me
smile
look down
look up
take my hand /
wrap around my waist
take me anywhere
anywhere.

finally got to say approximately 1/4 of all the things i've ever needed to say to you. too bad you were drunk on the other end of the telephone and i was crying.

i wish that
you worried
that you might
lose me in the
same way that
i worry that i
might lose you.

cleaned my car out today for the last time before i trade it in ( Read more... )

today the hotel ( Read more... )

she said, 'you don't want to fuck with her, jay, still waters run deep.'

and i thought:

that is absolutely true.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

has been sleeping at my feet while i've been type type typing and i think
he just had a dream about nursing.
his lips were smackety smack a mile a minute
just like he was a little teeny baby two years ago!

(how much i miss those days.)

and then he rolled over.