The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chatper 3.05
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warnings: language
previously: I was particularly unfunny. Pea aged up to a teenager and the twins became children. Fluffy and Claude went out for a date where Fluffy got Claude fantastically schmammered, and then he impregnated her. Muffin was adorable. There was toddler spam. And then Claude did something unthinkable right before popping into trimester one.
Pea missed out on the twins' birthday because she was busy being a dickhead. It's pretty much like, her favourite thing.
Pea: HAHA! TAKE THAT NEIGHBOUR MAN! TROLOLOL!
Yea, that's the neighbour that Fluffy keeps blowing up shit from. This guy. He must hate the Mrmpfles.
Meanwhile, back at the house, the twins were making use of their new supersecret clubhouse.
Panda: I'm telling you Pebble. I saw it with my own two eyes.
Pebble: Okay, I believe you, but what if you just misunderstood what was going on.
Panda: Pfft. I'm never wrong.
Pebble: You were a toddler like, two hours ago. You've been wrong loads. Anyway. If it is true, do you think Mum and Dad will break up?
Panda: I hope not. If they did, they could split us up!
Pebble: Then it's a deal. We keep this a secret.
The twin decided to be all srs bzns. But hey, it's a big burden for two little kids to carry.
Claude was having trouble carrying it too.
Claude: Oh god! What have I done? I sicken myself. I love Fluffy! I can't believe I would do that!
As long as she's totally broken up about it, I can deal with it having happened.
But enough of the sad stuff! Guys! Treehouses! Fuck yea. The twins agree with me.
Panda: I don't know, I think our neighbour with the farm is throwing things at Aunt Pea. And he's only wearing boxer shorts. eeewwww.
Anna: JUST DON'T LOOK OVER THERE AND BE HAPPY OKAY?!
God. They're so ungrateful sometimes.
Not Pebble though. He's just happy to play at being Juliet.
Pebble: O, be some other name! What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.
But the kids had to come down because it was Muffin's birthday. Yea, see those thought bubbles? See no Muffin? This is when people started turning invisible.
Synchronized cheering.
Panda: I am genuinely concerned by my brother's lack of a corporeal body.
Anna: Word sister.
It was just a birthdayful night. Next up was Markus.
As every sim realizing that age is a one way street, Markus looks concerned.
Markus: Phooey. Being old sucks.
Muffin came back. But things were very much not right. Hilarious, but not right at all.
Thankfully, one quick makeover and he was back on track.
Muffin: Whatever. I need to go write some poetry. Excuse me.
He's trying on angst.
Markus also got a makeover. No mullets yet. It's coming. I promise.
Markus: Damn, I'm still a smoking hot old dude. Hell yea you handsome devil you.
He also got a cane because he is one Pimp Daddy supreme.
Oh, and the best part is definitely his green, snake skin shoes. BAM!
Let me just express now how these two kids are literally inseparable. And also: SPAM HO!
Who else missed pillow-fighting as much as I did?
Pebble: This is so violent! I don't like it!
Panda: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! MWUAHAHAHA! HA!
Who better to christen the new treehouse than the insatiable Markus and Freckles?
Of course, Markus takes way longer to get there than Freckles.
Markus: Goddamn! The walk there is exhausting enough.
I quiet dug this. Freckles got a splinter after their "frisky fun in the great outdoors." Maybe it will teach her a lesson.
The gnomes have gathered. As they are wont to do.
Gnomes, they are natural gatherers.
Pea has taken to pranking. She has a lot of wants revolving around being an asshole. I worry about her. But her first victim (aside from that neighbour, but seriously, fuck him. I hate his guts.) was Fluffy.
Fluffy: NO! MY HAIR! MY PRECIOUS HAIR!
Fluffy: IT LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER IN BLUE! *rage*
Hey, guess who forgot to edit this picture. GO TEAM ME! Anyway, point is, this explains Pea's sudden bitchiness. Mood swings y'all, they're from being a teenager.
And with mood swings comes going out in public in wildly inappropriate clothing and skipping school.
Pea: LOOK! I'M MEETING MY FRIEND OKAY! WE MET ON THE INTERNET AND WE'RE IN LOVE SO SHUT UP!
To me, Pea talks like Lumpy Space Princess.
At home, Fluffy was being adorable awesome to Claude.
Fluffy: You're so pretty. I love feeling the baby kick.
Fluffy: I just love you baby. So I got you some flowers.
Yea. That face? That is the face of someone who feels awful inside because they know what they did was horrible and unforgivable and that they are being punished because their spouse is such a wonderful, wonderful, caring, loving, awesome person and they don't even deserve someone so wonderful. Yea Claude, Yea.
It's also the face of someone who's become completely unhinged.
Pea's mystery bear rapist stalker kidnapper man never showed so she took out her fury on some innocent house.
Well, until the owner showed up.
Owner: OH FUCK OFF! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!
Pea: BACK OFF BITCH! I WILL THROW THIS AT YOU! I'LL DO IT!
Owner: Oh yea? OH YEA? WILL YOU? THEN DO IT! COME ON! LAY IT ON ME BABY! I DARE YOU! I FUCKING DARE YOU!
Needless to say, things didn't end up well.
Pea: But Daddy! It's not my fault.I was just minding my own business and then that mean woman ATTACKED me! What was I supposed to do? *sob*
Markus: Oh really? Do you think I'm an idiot? One, why weren't you at school? Two, WHY'D YOU HAVE A CASE OF EGGS WITH YOU?
Pea: Uh, I, it was for..
Markus: I don't want to hear it, you're grounded.
I know this is old news, but at the time, it was like, day one and it amused me to no end.
Pea was pissed off so she decided to go take out her frustrations on Muffin.
Pea: Hey loser. I saw you in class with your little boyfriend today.
Muffin: He's not my boyfriend. We're just lab partners. He just moved here. Which you would've known if you'd shown up at school for more than like, 2 minutes.
Pea: Durr! Oh noes! I didn't go to school for one day! What am I going to do! God Muffin, you're such a little goody two shoes. Whatever. I'm just saying, you clearly like him and are cleeeeearly into boys. Just admit it.
Muffin: I don't have to admit to anything. And it's none of your business anyway.
Pea: Yea well you're a friendless loser and you kiss boys.
Muffin: You're the friendless loser, and at least I could kiss a boy, unlike you. You're too batshit crazy, no guy will go near you.
Muffin: Gramma, I know she's your daughter and all but Pea is being so damn annoying.
Freckles: Lol I know, she's such a little bitch.
Freckles is a really supportive parent. And grandparent.
In a totally drama free turn of events. FUCKING DRESS UP CHEST!
Mr. Dressup and the Tickle Trunk. That is all I think of.
Pebble: RAWR! I'M A DINOSAUR! AND I LOVE YOU!
Like I said, they are always together.
Panda: It's not fair Pebble! I wanted to be the red dragon this time.
Pebble: I'm sorry Panda, I didn't know. You can be the pink dinosaur.
Panda: NO! I HATE THE PINK DINOSAUR! IT'S STUPID!
Pebble: Whoa, I'm so sorry Panda. Please forgive me, I didn't realize you felt so strongly about this. You can be the red dragon if you want.
Panda: No that's okay. I'm sorry I yelled at you. That wasn't very nice of me.
Pebble: It's okay. I forgive you.
...What the fuck is wrong with these kids.
Panda: Borp boop beep. I am a robot.
Pebble: RAWR! IMAEACHOO! RUN RUN!
Panda: heehee!
Pea tried sneaking out later that night, but she got caught by Fluffy and he sent her ass back inside.
Muffin was much luckier. Fluffy taught him how to drive that night. I wonder. If they don't learn to drive, will they like, crash the car? That could be fun...
While Fluffy was being a responsible parent with his oldest child, Claude was inside reading Panda a bed time story.
Claude: And that's the story of how the Mummy made a really big mistake and felt super bad about it.
Panda: ...that really wasn't very subtle.
Markus got to read to Pebble, in his work outfit. What more could a kid ASK for?!
Pebble: Grampa, this story is kind of boring...
Apparently loads more.
While that was happening, things were...escalating...between Muffin and Pea.
Pea: OW! MY BACK! I THINK YOU BROKE MY BACK!
Muffin: You are so full of shit! You're fine! Or at least you will be if you shut your damn mouth and STOP harassing me!
Then Claude came flying out of nowhere, going all MommaBear on Pea.
Claude: TOUCH MY SON AGAIN AND I WILL FUCKING RIP YOUR THROAT OUT DROGO STYLE. DO YOU HEAR ME?! DO YOU?!
Pea: Don't you talk to me like that or I'm going to tell my brother about this!
Claude: GO AHEAD! No really, do it! Let's just see how he likes this Pea! Sister-in-law or no, I will end you.
Pea took the message and ran off.
Muffin: Thanks Mum, you're awesome.
Claude: Don't think you're getting away that easily! What the hell was that about? Seriously! She's your aunt! JFC Muffin, you shouldn't be picking fights with your own aunt. Just don't let her get to you and be the mature one!
Muffin: Whaa? But- but- it's not my fault! She keeps following me around and saying shit!
Claude: Big deal! She's harmless. Annoying as hell, but harmless. You don't have to get into a physical fight with her. Just walk away. I'm really disappointed in you, I thought we raised you better than this. I guess not.
With the ultimate parent burn, Claude gave Muffin a time out.
Poor guy is so sensitive, it totally broke his heart. He doesn't like to disappoint his parents.
Where was Fluffy during all of this? Across the road, using this stranger's TV.
Stranger: Uhm, can I help you?
Fluffy: Yes actually, I'm feeling a might peckish, now hold still. This won't hurt much.
Stranger: WHOA! I think not buddy! You can't just come into my house and start BITING me!
Fluffy: WHAAAA?! *shock*
Apparently this was a brand new concept to Fluffy. Can't say I'm surprised.
So he went home and spent some time with his wife. Who filled him in on the Pea/Muffing situation.
Fluffy: Lol, she's such a little bitch.
Claude: Funny, that's what your mother said.
Claude: Hey Fluffy?
Fluffy: Yea?
Claude: I love you.
♥
The next morning Freckles and Markus were doing...well, what they do.
Freckles: Hey old man, looking good. Rowr.
Markus: Oh Mrs. Mrmpfle. We shouldn't be doing this, my wife could be here at any moment.
Freckles: *giggle*
Anna: .....*barf*
All the elder love clearly forced Claude into labour. But more important things were going down.
Muffin: BACK THE FUCK OFF PEA! I swear to god!
Pea: What are you gonna do huh? Mummy isn't here to save you this time.
Muffin: I don't need her here to kick your ass!
These two are incapable of getting along for any amount of time. At all.
These two, on the other hand, are incapable of not being sickenly adorable with each other.
Pebble: Panda, I bought you this present because I was thinking of you today when we were at the movies together on that field trip we just finished.
Panda: Omigosh Pebble! That's so sweet. Haha! BESTEST BROTHER EVER!
Freckles: Markus. Although having sex in every bed in the house, the shower, the hot tub, and the treehouse, and now playing catch, has been really fun. I feel like we're missing something.
Markus: I don't know what we could be miss- oh shit.
Claude: Yea you fuckers. I just had a baby. Thanks for caring.
Meet the newest Mrmpfle baby. His name is Tickle. who by the way, is an evil loner. This should be interesting.
The kids weren't really interested in their new baby brother. Muffin was trying out the water slide.
Pebble was failing at hopscotch.
And Panda was having fun being a head riding on a spring toy. YUP! THAT IS NORMAL!
When it got later and the twins had gone to bed, Muffin decided to go hang out with the new kid in town.
Muffin: You sure about this? I'm pretty good at telling ghost stories dude.
New Kid: Yes! I'm sure, I can handle it. Promise.
So Muffin shared his super scary ghost story with him. But I couldn't tell you what it's about.
Maybe evil MySims characters?
Not sure, but he really got into it. And the new kid? Yea. He wasn't as brave as he said.
But it's the ultimate Woobie, Frances J. Worthington. So what do you expect?
Frances: Oh my word.
Frances: That was a really scary story Muffin.
Muffin: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. You okay?
Frances: Yea, I'm just shy.
Then his 'sister' walked out looking like a boss. It's 10pm at night and she's strutting away. Where to little girl? Where to?
But Frances and Muffin didn't even notice. As much as Pea's constant nagging and harassment bothered him, she was right about one thing. He did kiss boys, or at least, he wanted to kiss this boy.
And Frances was pretty down with that. (As if you all didn't know.)
Muffin, you sly dog you.
Okay. Sort of. It was past his curfew. So the ultimate romantic moment was ruined a little bit by the cop showing up. She was kind enough to wait for Muffin.
Muffin: Wait for me Frances!
Frances: O-o-okay. That was nice. I liked doing that.
Frances' Sister: These boys. So melodramatic.
Yea, she just strolls in after curfew like NBD! I don't know if the cop brought her home or what but this chick is awesome.
Meanwhile, Fluffy was once again out and about on the town while major things were happening with his family.
Fluffy: Porkchop. Your outfit is...nice.
Porkchop: Let's just...not mention this okay? I am not a ninja.
Fluffy: ....okay.
ONCE AGAIN! I AM THE MASTER OF WEIRD ENDINGS! So yea. Deal with it. Sorry guys. I'm sorry. It is still brutally hot here so...I don't know. Think up some excuse for me.
Okay! That is all! HAVE A GREAT NIGHT I LIKE YOU GUYS LIKE LOTS. hehe
