The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chapter 2.7
warnings: language, teen sexuality, ~*science*~, Squishy is abusive
previous: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9
2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6
Last time on the Mrmpfles: Freckles tried to convince Markus to give her another baby, Cupcake became a toddler and was promptly abandoned by his parents and uncles while they went to France, Freckles was an intrepid explorer, Markus and Porkchop basically did nothing, I almost killed Squishy and Squishy decided he needed to take Markus out once and for all, but was quickly sidetracked by something shiny.
Immediately upon arriving home, Freckles made a beeline for Cupcake.
Freckles: Oh good, you're still small and cute. I was afraid I'd missed out on the best part of your life.
Cupcake: ... :)?
Freckles: Did you miss your mummy? I bet you did. Who wouldn't miss me?
Cupcake: :/
Freckles: That's right. You're unsure of yourself in the face of all my awesome. Don't worry, I still love you.
Freckles: So. I was just telling Cupcake about how awesome I am, and how awesome he is, and I realized, you're pretty awesome too. And together, we could make one hell of a baby.
Markus: Oh. I thought you'd like, you know, given up on the whole. Second baby thing.
Freckles: I never give up.
Peanut has started an heir portrait for Freckles. I don't know. Did I do one for Peanut? No. Will I? I don't know. I haven't decided. Either way, I like the painting. So far.
The trip to France really didn't change much. Pretty soon everyone was back to Normal. Squishy hated Markus. Freckles was hell bent on having another baby, and Porkchop continued to be creepy about Freckles and Markus' bathroom.
Porkchop: Don't mind me guys. I just need to pee. I'll be out of your way in a minute or two.
One day, I noticed the maid kept grabbing the laundry, going to the laundry room, making angry noises, and then dumping the laundry in the kitchen. It was weird. And he kept blaming the gnome and I was all "Bitch, you's just lazy! Don't blame no gnome!" and then he was all:
Maid: But he's in my waaayyy! *whine*
And the gnome was all:
Gnome: eehhehehehee! My evil plan is working!
And then I was all: *moves gnome to the garden*
And the gnome was all: *plan foiled*
Yup. Cool story eh?
Peanut still goes dumpster diving. And is still traumatized by what she finds.
Peanut: Seriously! What is wrong with the people in this town?!
I think though that her bad behaviour is wearing off on Squishy though.
Peanut: OMG! Squishy is doing this? No! He cannot see what I've seen! D:
Markus: So anyway. Freckles. You look ravishing today. I mean. Really. Your beauty, it's like, way so cool. *sigh* No wait. That's stupid. Your beauty is like, the shit. For realzeez. Uhm. Yea, so, you look like, good and stuff. And I was thinking. About this baby thing. You know, maybe it's like, not a great time for that. We could like, focus on Cupcake and stuff..
Markus: What's that? No. Oh no! I would never! I'm not calling you a bad mother. No. I swear. Oh god Freckles! PLEASE NO! I NEED THAT IF YOU WANT ANOTHER BABY!!
...Markus was trying to figure out how to tell Freckles he didn't want another baby right now.
I think it's too late.
Because of the whole, It's-creepy-when-she-has-no-legs thing, Freckles got a makeover.
Freckles: Yea, I'm not impressed. Where're the pretty maternity dresses and shit? I want fancy frills and whatnot.
Whatever, I think she looks really pretty. Although, I'm now suddenly realizing she's kind of got a large chin...
I also don't know why Markus is stressed about this baby thing. He's a phenomenal parent. He really is. ♥
This is just to prove that Gage is still around.
And this is just to prove that he still has a smokin' bod.
..and also that he's still a total creep and pervs on his neighbours.
Freckles: Morning baby! Guess what! You're going to have a little baby brother or sister. But don't worry, mummy will still love you loads and loads. Unless he or she is cuter. No I'm kidding. You're my bbz.
Cupcake: '_'
Porkchop: Did you really knock up my sister again?
Markus: It wasn't my idea. Trust me. Your sister is like...she's like a shark. She smells weakness on you and then pounces!
Porkchop: I don't think sharks pounce. I think that's lions.
Markus: You don't have to get so technical okay?
Turtle: HURK!
This turtle scares me a little. I think maybe it's been listening to the sounds of Saturn before it goes to sleep and now it's going to do Saturn's bidding and kill us all. And if you're curious. This is what Saturn sounds like.
Cupcake: >:) churrr
Cupcake doesn't wish death on anyone.
He's a damn ball of joy and wonder.
A stinky ball of joy and wonder.
Cupcake: D;
Squishy: So. Sproglet. You smell funny.
Cupcake: ):>
Squishy: Do tickles help with that?
No. Tickles don't help.
Markus must have known that Squishy, his nemesis, was touching his son. Cause as soon as school finished, he booked it home fast as could be.
Anna: *melts*
Anna: Uh, Gage?
Gage: [insert maniacal laughter here]
Anna: wtf?
Anna: Oh. You're experimenting. And for some reason that turns you into an evil scientist. Fair enough.
Gage: Ah, the sweet, sweet smell of evil experiments. It's minty fresh.
Okay, so the couch experiment, not so evil, the stealing Porkchop's bed experiment? A little evil.
Peanut: I love this evil minty fresh couch! :D
Porkchop has no idea his bed has been stolen by an evil experiment.
Porkchop: Did you say something about my bed being stolen?!
Anna: ....no? I would never! :O
Peanut finished Freckles' portrait. I'm a fan.
Peanut: It's not the most flattering depiction of her ever, but it is my best work.
I decided to send Squishy out to meet the townspeople. Also, he had a maxed out stress moodlet and was being a dick to everyone at the house. So I needed him out.
Of course this is the house he'd go to. He gets there and the first thing that happens is these two jumped into the sack. Talk about awkward.
Freckles also went out to meet people on the town.
Old Man: You know, I'm an experienced obstetrician young lady. If you wanted to stop by my office some time we could poke around and see what's going on down there for you.
Freckles: Thanks but, I think I'm pretty well covered.
Old Man: Are you questioning my skills as a doctor?
Freckles: No, I'm questioning the level of your creepiness. That's all.
Good ol' Freckles. Making friends and influencing creepers wherever she goes.
While Freckles is out enjoying her night on the town (read: getting hit on by old men.) Markus is at home taking care of their child. Like he does.
Cupcake: Dada! Up Dada!
Markus: *gasp* Omigosh! Your first word was Dada! Oh I am so proud! I love you too son!
Cupcake: Yes, one day Mr. Deshawn. One day we'll be free of this wretched cage and my parents will rue the day that *yawn* they ever *bigger yawn* I'm sweepy. Ima go beddy byes. *promptly falls asleep*
Yes, his bear's name really is Deshawn. And no, Cupcake is anything but evil. But he does hate his crib.
But none of that is as important as this cat-like beauty Squishy has encountered that I in no way made with the intention of dropping her in the hood and having Squish hunt her down so they could have illegitimate and beautiful babies together. Nope. Not at all.
Squishy: So, you live in this house full of people? Are you related to any of them?
Fossil: Nope. My life is hell. I pray the day that a meteor falls on this place and destroys them all.
Baldy: Hey baby. So, I was thinking that we go upstairs and use the only bed to play a little Mrs. Pillsbury and Mr. Bad Cop. What do you say? *wink wink*
Anna: Really? I think they're a charming bunch.
Cupcake: Up! Up! Unka! Unka Porky up!
Porkchop: Aw, you know my name! You want out little guy?
Cupcake: =^_^=
Porkchop: Okay.
Porkchop: You know, you're pretty deviously cute, you know that? You could totally use that to your advantage.
Cupcake: hee hee! Unka Porky funny! :D
He's totally deviously cute.
Do you know what this means?
May: No, and I'd like to. Why did Porkchop call me here?
Porkchop: May! Hi! I'm so glad you could come! You see, it's my birthday today. Today, I become an adult. I just, you know, you're a friend of the family, I thought it would be nice if you could come!
May: Mmhmm. If this is about what I think it's about, you can forget it okay kid?
Porkchop: Ooohhhoho but I'm not a kid for much longer! Just you wait May my darling.
May: Don't call me darling.
Peanut: So anyway, it was all like KABLAMO shaaaaaa BACHOW! And I was like "HOLY SHIT THAT DUN JUST ESPLODED!" and my partner was like "*dives, rolls, grabs gun* pchoo! pchoo! pchoo!" and shot the dude. In the face. It was pretty awesome. But that was years ago.
Squishy: OMFG IF YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO THAT STORY ONE MORE TIME I WILL KILL SOMEONE! SERIOUSLY! FUUUUUU-
Peanut: Okay, whoa! Sheesh! Calm down Squish.
Squishy: NO! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR DAMN STORY!
Two seconds later:
Squishy: Okay. I'm sorry. That was totally out of line. I did not mean to be a complete and utter jackwad. I just. Do that sometimes. You know? Forgive me?
Peanut: Yea. You're a cock. I love you, you're my child and I will always love you, but seriously, you're a cock.
Squishy: Yeeeaaaaaaa I know.
May: Seriously. Porkchop. If you call me darling, or sweet, or honey, or sugar or baby one more time, I'm going to jam your teeth down your throat. I'm not kidding. It's not sweet or endearing. It's just creepy. I have a daughter near your age! Please!
Porkchop: Whatever you say sugar plum.
May: *RAEG* RAWRRRG!
Anna: lol, snort, giggle. She said baby one more time. *breaks out into dance* HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!
Markus: Hi baby! I hope you know that you're the result of your mother's manipulative evilness and the fact that I could never ever say no to her.
Freckles: Damn straight you couldn't, and never forget it!
Oh yea. It's also Cupcake's birthday.
Gage: YAY! CAKE AND SCREENTIME! BEST. DAY. EVER!
Man Maid: Hmmm. What am I supposed to be doing again?
Man Maid: Oh yea right! WOOOOOO BIRTHDAY! :D
Squishy loves birthdays. Really, really loves 'em.
And this is Cupcake all growed up. I love his nerdy tiger sweater. Reminds me of Brett from FoTC.
I can't find my notes regarding his stats right now, but I'll let you know when I know. *thumbs up*
Porkchop: Oh gosh. I suddenly don't feel so good about this! What if May rejects me? It was all metaphorical before! It was like, a forcefield keeping me from her, the same way that all cops somehow psychically know if a teen is out past curfew. It was impossible,but now, now it could be possible and she could still shoot me down.
Maid: Yawn! Boring kid! Come on, let's get a move on. I want me some cake!
Freckles: Uhm. Porkchop? Two seconds ago you were having a nervous breakdown about this.
Porkchop: It's like the psychic cops! I can't be sad while having a birthday!
Freckles: OMG YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT! WHAT IS THIS DEVILRY?! YAY BIRTHDAY!
Cupcake: I just want cake!
Porkchop, being Porkchop, managed to sneak a little bit of moodyness into the mix. Of course.
Porkchop: You're a little late with blowing the horn.
Freckles: I can't stop myself. This must be hell.
Porkchop: Mmmmprobably. *smiles contently*
Freckles: Yea I feel better now. Cake?!
Porkchop: Okay buddy, play it cool. She's pretty focused on the cake, just like everyone else. Just, be cool man. Be cool.
May: I don't even like cake. Why must we all swarm that damn cake?
Ladies. I present to you, Porkchop. Who turned out pretty damn fine if I do say so myself. Oooft.
And, want to know something funny? I never wrote down his fifth trait. >< Yea. I'm horrible to him.
May: So. Your uncle Porkchop. He turned out pretty well didn't he?
Cupcake: Lady. I just started talking two days ago. Not even. And even I can tell that you're being coy.
Squish: Hey. Have you seen Mum? I uh, kinda flipped on her earlier, and then she called me a cock, and she hasn't spoken to me since. I actually sorta kinda maybe feel a little kind of maybe bad.
Freckles: You feel bad? Wow. That is amazing. But uh, she's outside. Venting.
May: Your son turned out really attractive and this makes me uncomfortable! >:(
Peanut: Yea well my other son is a total jerk who flips out on anyone and everyone and has written several books about the father of my grandchild! So fucking get over it! >>:(
Porkchop: OMG MOTHER WHY?!?!?!?!
Two hours into being a child and he's already pissed his galoshes.
Cupcake: Oh gosh. Please don't tell anyone! Please!
Also. These boots just got really, really gross.
And that's where we'll leave it for now! I'm going to put Porkchop and Squishy up for download soon. It'll be a few updates before Freckles is up but whatevs. I know some people are chomping at the bit for Porky so y'all can have him. I know, I'm pretty awesome and gracious ;)
I FORGOT TO ADD! Squishy and Porkchop are available for download. :)