Comments | silwritersguild: Walls of His Heart

phyncke in silwritersguild

Walls of His Heart

Sep 27, 2006 13:22

Title: Walls of His Heart
Chapter: Prologue/?
Author: phyncke
Character(s): Fingolfin and Ariannon (OC)
Beta(s): Jaiden_s (with reads by Tuxedo_Elf and khyleaRating: G (this chapter) (may be NC-17/undecided/possible slash later ( Read more... )

fingolfin, phyncke

Comments 3

ford_of_bruinen September 28 2006, 07:42:10 UTC

Since you need some comments on this group as well I decided to post here rather than on your LJ :)

I enjoyed the start of this very much and I am looking forward to more. I would be a bit more eloquent on my comments if I was actually awake yet *lol* But for now I will just say that it was a lovely thing to read first thing in the morning and that I suspect I am already in love with your Fingolfin :)

Thanks for sharing

Uli

phyncke September 28 2006, 14:15:33 UTC

Thank you so much for your comments. I am reading this over coffee and it made my morning! He is a strong one in my mind. My first elf, really.

Thank you for reading. This one will be posted as I write it. I want something to keep me writing.

:)

dawn_felagund October 1 2006, 03:38:26 UTC

Sorry to take so long in commenting! I think you've got a nice start here; I certainly like how it leaps feet-first into the action. (I have trouble with this in my own writing. *admires*) And there is a slightly bewildered feel to it that fits your narrator.

I was a bit puzzled at first as to who "he" was. Really, that's my only concrit. But you might consider using the character's name for the first "he," just to get readers on board with you. :)

But this is an intriguing start to your series! I'm interested to see how this progresses and really intrigued to see your Fingolfin. (His amusement fascinates me because it makes me wonder of you're breaking the stiff!uptight!Fingolfin mold a bit, which would be a welcome change!)