[the_muses_stage] 25 - And So It Goes
(Set at the end of season 3. AU. Sam is imnot_likeyou. Ruby is ilove_atallman.)
"At the temple, there is a poem called Loss carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read Loss, only feel it." -- Sayuri, Memoirs of a Geisha
In those final moments, as the clock struck midnight, he was ready. He had said his goodbyes, and though he intended to go down with a fight - he was ready. When he heard the first hellhound, his heart sunk in his chest. He had never considered that death had a sound, but that was it. And they ran.
But he couldn't understand how they ended up here. He couldn't settle on an emotion just yet. His goodbyes...they weren't right. He had been prepared to die, he hadn't been prepared for this. Sam. Not Sam. Sam's body. Torn and lifeless in his arms. It was wrong. Backwards. The seconds between realizing what was happening and it actually coming to hadn't felt long and drawn out as one might depict. They were seconds. Seconds where Dean could do nothing, but fall to his knees.
His head came up slowly and he cast a dark gaze upon Ruby - Lilith inside of Ruby. "What did you do?"
The smile on the blond's lips was soft, like she was playing a fun game. "It wasn't quite what I wanted, but I do love the effect."
Dean rose to his feet, starting slow steps towards her. The anger boiled in him so deep, he actually thought he could squeeze the woman's neck until Lilith got out of her. "We. Had. A. Deal," he said through clenched teeth. "You Bitch Whore of a demon. What had a deal!" He shouted the last part, lunging towards her.
As soon as he got close, her fist came out and connected with his jaw. "Watch it!" Dean grabbed his face and looked at her. Her eyes connected with his and he could see that Lilith was gone. Ruby started to look around the dark room. "Dean..."
Dean didn't hear her. He turned and looked down at Sam on the floor. "How...I don't..." He turned around, lost, his fingers pushing through his hair. His breath was hard and short, like he might break down any second. Ruby was stepping closer, silently staring down at Sam, looking just as confused as Dean. "We had a deal," he said softly. He crossed the room and picked up the first thing he could find, hurling it through the nearby window. "That fucking bitch!"
"Dean...what did you do?" Ruby turned to look at him again.
"I didn't do anything!"
"Lilith can't just change the terms of the deal, because it gets her off. You had to have done something."
Dean glared at Ruby. "She's Lilith. You really don't put it past her to come up with someway to fuck us over?"
"Dean..." Ruby closed her eyes, letting out a breath.
Dean ignored her and kept picking things up and throwing them, the more noise the better. He wanted her to come back. "Come back, you fucking bitch! Don't run and cower! What kinda fucking weakass demon does that?!"
"She's not-"
"The deal was me!" He continued screaming for Lilith's ears. "We had a goddamn deal, and it was me not Sam! Get back here! Bring Sam back and take me! Take me, damnit!!" His voice was going raw from the screaming, and he wasn't sure how long he could remain standing.
Ruby stepped back, out of his way, and let him do what he needed to do to get through it.
He turned and moved over, falling to Sam's side and pulling Sam into his arms again. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't...I didn't know." He was starting to break, hot tears splitting through his eyes. "I didn't want this for you..."
He felt Ruby step closer and set a hand to his shoulder. "We should get out of here."
Dean looked up over his shoulder at her, a glare settling over his features again. Sure he knew it wasn't her fault, but he needed someone to blame. "There is no fuckin' we," he said quietly, his voice thick. Then he leaned down and picked up his brother's body, through some feat of strength, and started for the door. Ruby stayed where she was, just letting him go for the time being.
He walked outside into the wretched evening, the one he wasn't supposed to be seeing, and started for the car. Someone got what they wanted. He'd be damned if they got Sam's body, too.
722
"At the temple, there is a poem called Loss carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read Loss, only feel it." -- Sayuri, Memoirs of a Geisha
In those final moments, as the clock struck midnight, he was ready. He had said his goodbyes, and though he intended to go down with a fight - he was ready. When he heard the first hellhound, his heart sunk in his chest. He had never considered that death had a sound, but that was it. And they ran.
But he couldn't understand how they ended up here. He couldn't settle on an emotion just yet. His goodbyes...they weren't right. He had been prepared to die, he hadn't been prepared for this. Sam. Not Sam. Sam's body. Torn and lifeless in his arms. It was wrong. Backwards. The seconds between realizing what was happening and it actually coming to hadn't felt long and drawn out as one might depict. They were seconds. Seconds where Dean could do nothing, but fall to his knees.
His head came up slowly and he cast a dark gaze upon Ruby - Lilith inside of Ruby. "What did you do?"
The smile on the blond's lips was soft, like she was playing a fun game. "It wasn't quite what I wanted, but I do love the effect."
Dean rose to his feet, starting slow steps towards her. The anger boiled in him so deep, he actually thought he could squeeze the woman's neck until Lilith got out of her. "We. Had. A. Deal," he said through clenched teeth. "You Bitch Whore of a demon. What had a deal!" He shouted the last part, lunging towards her.
As soon as he got close, her fist came out and connected with his jaw. "Watch it!" Dean grabbed his face and looked at her. Her eyes connected with his and he could see that Lilith was gone. Ruby started to look around the dark room. "Dean..."
Dean didn't hear her. He turned and looked down at Sam on the floor. "How...I don't..." He turned around, lost, his fingers pushing through his hair. His breath was hard and short, like he might break down any second. Ruby was stepping closer, silently staring down at Sam, looking just as confused as Dean. "We had a deal," he said softly. He crossed the room and picked up the first thing he could find, hurling it through the nearby window. "That fucking bitch!"
"Dean...what did you do?" Ruby turned to look at him again.
"I didn't do anything!"
"Lilith can't just change the terms of the deal, because it gets her off. You had to have done something."
Dean glared at Ruby. "She's Lilith. You really don't put it past her to come up with someway to fuck us over?"
"Dean..." Ruby closed her eyes, letting out a breath.
Dean ignored her and kept picking things up and throwing them, the more noise the better. He wanted her to come back. "Come back, you fucking bitch! Don't run and cower! What kinda fucking weakass demon does that?!"
"She's not-"
"The deal was me!" He continued screaming for Lilith's ears. "We had a goddamn deal, and it was me not Sam! Get back here! Bring Sam back and take me! Take me, damnit!!" His voice was going raw from the screaming, and he wasn't sure how long he could remain standing.
Ruby stepped back, out of his way, and let him do what he needed to do to get through it.
He turned and moved over, falling to Sam's side and pulling Sam into his arms again. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't...I didn't know." He was starting to break, hot tears splitting through his eyes. "I didn't want this for you..."
He felt Ruby step closer and set a hand to his shoulder. "We should get out of here."
Dean looked up over his shoulder at her, a glare settling over his features again. Sure he knew it wasn't her fault, but he needed someone to blame. "There is no fuckin' we," he said quietly, his voice thick. Then he leaned down and picked up his brother's body, through some feat of strength, and started for the door. Ruby stayed where she was, just letting him go for the time being.
He walked outside into the wretched evening, the one he wasn't supposed to be seeing, and started for the car. Someone got what they wanted. He'd be damned if they got Sam's body, too.
722