[Chat Log] A Boat in the Moonlight
Who: Kazutaka Muraki, Aramat Drawdes
What: Muraki and Aramat have a moment alone in the moonlight
When: August 24th
Rating: PG-13 (possible triggery content)
:: At some point, Aramat might find a note slipped under her door: "Sister-mine, I've found a rowboat that wasn't on the lakeshore before. The moon is almost full, and it couldn't make me more pleased, if you were to join me for a midnight turn on the lake? Meet me at 9 pm, at the boat landing. K." The handwriting is unmistakably Muraki's odd scrawl...::
::Aramat finds the note and immediately makes up her mind to to go. When the two meet, Aramat will be wearing a white dress with a matching parasol. Most strangely of all, her hair is down.::
:: She'll actually hear him before she sees him, calling out in the shadows to someone further up the shore. "Pardon me, young man, but you'll have to wait your turn to use that vessel. My sister and I need it just now." A moment later, he steps out of the shadows and onto the dock, carrying a cushion under one arm. It's a cool night, but he's in his shirtsleeves. He pauses and a smile crosses his face as he spies her.::
Muraki: Aramat... looking lovely as always, I see. Sorry for the delay, someone else was rying to take possession of the boat I've had my eye on.
Aramat: ::Aramat gives him a warm smile.:: Kazu, it's so nice to see you again. It's all right. Let’s go.
:: He sets the cushions into the bow of the boat, then helps her into it before getting in and untying the small craft, then pushing it off::
:: He rows slowly, glancing up to the moonlight from time to time, almost as if he were drinking it in.::
Aramat: ::She looks at the moon and it's reflection on the water with a calm, serene look on her face.:: It's really lovely tonight, isn't it, Kazu?
Muraki: :: Silent a moment, then almost snaps back to reality:: The moonlight itself is almost invigorating tonight.
Muraki: I prefer to draw on the energy of sentient beings, but there are times when the spirit energy present in nature is impossible to ignore.
Aramat: It's fine, brother dear, I don't blame you. It's been a while since I've been near water like this. I remember trying to sink... ::Says this with a eerie calm::
Muraki: We share that in common, don't we? That inability to cleanse our own debauched souls with our own blood? :: There's an almost tender bitterness in his tone::
Aramat: ...Yes. And we can never truly become clean...
Muraki: In my case, the entity which sustains me also will not allow me to force my own quietus. Or perhaps I'm delusional and I am too much of a coward to take the honorable way out.
Aramat: ::Puts a small hand around his.:: No you aren't, you have a reason for saying on this earth now...
Muraki: :: Pausing, looking at her hand, then putting up the oars and covering her hand with the other:: Yes... I have my research, I have a student to train and I've recently offered to mentor another young man...
Muraki: And there is my eventual assignation with a certain fey shinigami. :: He says this with a smirk::
Aramat: You also have another reason... Kazu.
Muraki: The love of my life...? I have to admit, there is a part of me that has begun to despair of seeing her again, though another part of me has contemplated finding some way to summon her here... Though I was concerned that you might feel somewhat jealous.
Aramat: *looks away* That's a good reason too, but there's me. I don't know what I would do without you Kazu.
Muraki: Forgive me, I should not have been thinking of another lovely woman while rowing with one... :: Self-deprecating smirk::
Aramat: ::Puts on a small, sad smile.:: I want you to be happy. And she makes you happy. I will not fight if she comes. Although, I will not lie, I will be a tad jealous.
Muraki: :: Chuckles in his throat, leans back on one of the cushions in the prow of the boat:: I have to admit, there is a part of me that finds no end of amusement in the jealousy of others. But this is one instance I would try to avoid it.
Muraki: She will be your sister in law, in a sense, someday, when my work is complete and I have healed her and made her whole. :: A somewhat distant look comes into his good eye for a moment, then is gone;:
Aramat: I bet she's wonderful.
Muraki: She is... she is frail and delicate, as if a breath would shatter her, but she has a quiet strength of her own. I suppose it is her innocence that makes her strong. Normally my worse side would try to destroy what innocence it can find, but somehow, there is something in her that keeps it at bay.
Muraki: Have you seen medieval tapestries of a woman with a white unicorn laying its head in her lap, keeping the beast tame? She is the lady in the garden, and I am the unicorn she tamed...
Aramat: *looks down* I wish to have a love like that one day...
Muraki: I hope that you do: it would get you off my back. :: He glances at her, a wry smirk quirking the corners of his mouth:: That was a tasteless joke, forgive me.
Aramat: *giggling* It's all right, must be frustrating.
Muraki: You are one of the people in this place who somewhat define 'forbidden fruit'. There are others, least of all the young man I am passing on my knowledge to. :: He gazes across the lake, toward the house, breathing a sigh through his nostrils::
Aramat:... What? *Didn't hear about Muraki's desires for his student, is shocking her*
Muraki: I have to admit, my desire for him is partly what fuels my interest in helping him develop his talents and attain his goals. But he has a wounded spirit and I gave him my word that I would respect him for that. He has no interest in me, in that regard, and it likely has everything to do with that wound.
Aramat: Umm... *tongue-tied*
Muraki: You seem surprised. :: He still has a wry note in his voice::
Aramat: I am! I mean, he's so young... I shouldn't judge though.
Muraki: Things are different in my country: the age of consent is considerably younger than it is in the States -- age sixteen, thus it isn't terribly unusual to see couples that are quite different in age. On top of that, I've always been drawn to the young, but no younger than sixteen.
Aramat: *Thinks: I REALLY shouldn't judge. He was 38 and I was 15...*
Muraki: I hope I haven't shocked you: I can't really help what I am: my own sixteenth year was a traumatic one, and there is likely a part of me that is emotionally stuck at that age.
Aramat:...I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm thirteen forever. That’s a terrible thing.
Muraki: We are of a kind, it seems. It's likely that wound in his soul that draws me to him: part of me would wish to heal him, by showing him that not all who are drawn to him are bent only on wounding him...
Aramat: *looks away*... I'm sorry for nearly unchaining your phage.
Muraki: It would likely have happened in time: it tries to slip its bindings from time to time. But... I am honored that you entrusted your quietus into my hands.
:: He looks at her with a deep compassion, though at the same time, the moonlight flickers oddly on his glass eye for a moment, as if both halves of his nature would show their respective thoughts on the prospect::
Aramat: I do. When the day comes, I'll be ready. *Although she doesn't want to admit that it might hurt her.*
Muraki: I hope that it doesn't come for some time, though when it does, I promise you, it will likely bring you to the heights of ecstasy and the depths of pain before it ends... Most of my kills have been done out of necessity: to protect myself or something sensitive, or to nourish myself. But this... this will be the first time I will kill out of love.
Aramat: *has a brief moment of shock, but it doesn't show upon his face* I hope it doesn't effect you, because you are the chosen one, the one to end me without a fight.
Muraki: :: a low chuckle in his throat:: I'm curious to know what would happen: I doubt it would harm me. I do have moments when I feel an echo of the emotions of my victims, moments before the last of their life force drains into my being, but it does not last for long and I've learned not to let it disturb me.
Aramat:... That’s good, it's very professional.
Muraki: I have to be: I may be a monster, but I am first and foremost a gentleman. But it doesn't make it easy, and there are times I have lost my grip on my desires. Do I regret them? Perhaps. One has to lose oneself once in a while to remind oneself that you aren't perfect.
Aramat: Indeed. That reminds me, Kazu? If anything should befall me, would you hunt that person down?
Muraki: You have to ask? :: Still with that teasing note, then he grows more serious;: It goes without saying. For one thing, I wouldn't be a gentleman of my stature if I didn't find some means to avenge someone in my protection who came to harm.
Muraki: For another... I made a promise to myself as a young man that I would never let anyone take anything from me, and that if they did, I would make them pay for that folly... :: His tone grows more animated and a harsh look ticks through his eyes::
Aramat: *hollow eyes* That’s good, brother, I sense that I will go back to place within me that even I fear... I may even die.
Muraki: What do you mean...? :: a cold curiosity, mixed with suspicion, as he sits up higher on the cushion, the boat swaying just a bit at this movement::
Aramat: *In strangely calm, even-tempered voice* Have you met a man named Rudy Cooper?
Muraki: I have... a rather odd young man and one of the more irritating types, since I couldn't get a read on his emotions. Don't worry, he's not my type; I have no interest in making a project out of anyone who can't get squeamish around me.
Aramat: *smiles* I don't know how about him. On one hand, no reactions. On the other, there will be no guilt about killing him. Beautiful face on him though...
Muraki: Mmm... I'd hate to have to cut him up, if it came to that. Do tell me he hasn't been sniffing around you? I wouldn't want it to become necessary for me to get his blood on my shoes just yet.
Aramat: His eyes... There’s no light in them in at all. Mine look like that, but his...
Muraki: Like the eyes of some emotionally undead being. I saw that... :: Says this in almost brooding tone::
Muraki: :: Thinking: Like *his*... like Saki's...::
Aramat: I sound paranoid, but... he's a predator... a wolf. I just have a feeling.
Muraki: Mmm... and the type who, if he isn't careful, becomes the prey. I despise those types: they're too obvious, and that makes targets of the rest of us who follow a different ethical path than the norm. :: with a note of irritation::
Aramat: If he makes a move towards me, or anyone else that I hold dear. Something will be unleashed upon him... something completely free, and utterly without mercy or control. *grins, in her own unsettling way*
Muraki: And who would that include, besides me? The ones you consider worthy of protecting I too will help you safeguard...
Aramat: Dahlia Hawthrone, Wendla Bergman, and possibly dear, sweet Phedre.
Muraki: The first two I haven't made the acquaintance of, but the last... Oh yes, my sweet little briar rose, who moans so sweetly under the points of my knives... :: His voice becoming husky at the very thought of her::
Aramat: *sighs just thinking about her* You know it too? That lovely Countess with perfect skin that never scars? *The mere thought of makes her dreamy*
Muraki: She took compassion on me when I met her a few months after my arrival, when I was still recovering from some injuries I sustained in my world... I had not been intimate with anyone in months, but she let me into her chamber and allowed me to pleasure her and so pleasure myself. :: His good eye grows misty and yet devious at the very thought of her::
Muraki: So I take it that you and I are sharing her as a concubine? :: Smirking, pleased by the prospect::
Aramat: She was my first... *voice gets sweet* Yes, I think we are...
Muraki: Hmmmm... my first as well. Perhaps some night we can... share her, as long as you don't mind if I should... happen to skim energy from the both of you? :: said with a crooked smirk::
Aramat: *tilts her head and says in a husky yet innocent tone* I'll think about it...
Muraki: Hmmm... reluctant to share with your big brother? :: Tsks, but he's smiling mischievously::
Aramat: *smirks* I have to be a lady you know, Kazu.
Muraki: So a threesome would be out? Disappointing, but I can and will respect that. :: He leans back on the cushion in the prow and turns his face up to the moonlight, letting his eyelids go slack::
Aramat: *crawls on top of him* I can change my mind anytime I want you know...
Muraki: :: The boat sways under them, but he shifts under her, adjusting the balance, and his hand rises to stroke her back::
Muraki: Hmmm... a lady always reserves the right to change her mind at any moment, and I respect that... I've been known to do that myself from time to time...
Aramat: *moans* Kazu... *gets off of him*
Muraki: Hmmm... what? :: Looking up at her, almost lazily::
Aramat: I'm sorry... I, I just can't do this. God knows I want to, but I can't.
Muraki: Do what? Ride the waters of the lake with your dear brother? :: Smirking::
Aramat: *huddles into a ball* I've been afraid all this time... I still am!
Muraki: Afraid? Of me, or...? :: He sits up, taking a less tempting position::
Aramat: I want to believe that this is all perfect and wonderful... it isn't... it can't be. You're going to use me, aren't you? Like everyone else. *tears start to form* No one wants me if they can't use me... What’s your purpose?
Muraki: :: Looking at her:: I have no reason to use you. I may not be above using people around me as pawns in the chess game I've made of my life. But not everyone is.
Aramat: *shivers and covers her head*
Muraki: Not everyone is a pawn in my eyes. Not my fiancée. Not you either. I have a sense of family, however strange my definition of it may be.
Aramat:... I want to believe you Kazu. I really do. But I don't deserve love...*eyes get empty* the only thing I deserve is... *suddenly looks at the water*
Aramat: *smiles all of sudden with tears in her eyes* Kazu, do you think I can sink pretty?
Muraki: Playing Ophelia, are you? I shan't stop you from jumping, if that is what you wish...
Aramat *grins* She's my role model. *Is secretly hating that.*
Muraki: Does that make me your Hamlet? You'll find me considerably less hesitant though more mad than that gloomy prince...
Aramat: *looks away* Can I tell you that I want you to be?
Muraki: If it pleases you, I shall: you are part of my household, and I want only your pleasure... :: Leaning slightly forward, elbows on knees::
Aramat: *tears fall* Thank you, Brother. *embraces him* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry.
Muraki: :: He draws her close, burying his face in her hair and rumbling deep in his throat:: No need to apologize, you have done nothing wrong, little sister...
Aramat: You aren't like him at all.
Muraki: Though you do make me worry and I hate worrying about others: it's rather a waste of the energy I can barely spare... but I suppose that is a sign I am still human...
Aramat: It's what brothers do...
Muraki: Who, that nasty little dwarf who's been snuffing around you? :: Pulling back, looking her in the eye, his good eye narrowed::
Aramat: No, someone else, a man a lot like you... a man that I loved.
Muraki: Someone who broke your heart? Tell me, if you are ready to unburden your heart of it.
Aramat: I met him when I was thirteen, just sent to the asylum. He was the head doctor... he didn't break my heart. He created me. And as you can see, he created a monster.
Muraki: In some ways, breaking your heart would have been kinder by comparison. But in other ways, he made you stronger than you would have been on your own.
Muraki: I know that feeling: I never had my heart broken, but I have had my spirit broken over and over again, till I took charge of that and took control of reforging it into the weapon that it is now... :: Smirks::
Aramat: In many ways I'm him... maybe that’s he's carrying on his bloody, insane, legacy... through me.
Muraki: May I tell you something, Aramat? It's not something I've been able to tell to anyone, since most would call me mad for saying it. :: He's looking her in the eye, in deadly earnest::
Aramat: Go on.
Muraki: By all accounts, I should not exist, and I have even been slated for destruction by my own kindred...
Aramat: Your... kindred? You were never human were you?
Muraki: Genetically, I'm only half human, but given how much I've given myself over to my dark side, its less than it was. My mother was the genetic offspring of the Grigori Sariel, the angel of the moon and of magick... her kindred pulled me out of the wreckage of my lab, when that damned shinigami tried to destroy me along with himself.
Aramat: I see... and why have you been marked for death?
Muraki: But they salvaged me only to use me for their purposes. I'm no ones plaything, and so I escaped from their world and came to this place..
Aramat: *smiles* A runaway angel.
Muraki: I was told that my mother was a flawed creation and that I carry the same flaws as recessive genes: they can't risk imperfection in their creation nor could they waste anything, so they had recalled me, intending to find some use for me.
Aramat: *puts her hand lightly on his chin* How can you not be perfect in every way? Those foolish angels don't know anything. But then again, I am only human. My blood bleeds red like everyone else and leaves a crooked scar.
Muraki: As do I, when in fact, I should heal without a mark. I should be able to regenerate the eye that I lost, but it's been over fifteen years since the attack that cost me half my eyesight.
Aramat: *looks serious* You want to evolve, don't you?
Muraki: :: Looking up to the moon:: I want to repair the flaws in my genetics. I want to develop into the fullness of my strength... On the one hand, I accept whatever I become in the end, and on the other, I fear I may lose the last vestiges of my humanity...
Aramat: *lip trembles a bit, fearing the worst*
Muraki: You fear losing me, or losing the man that you know? :: He restrains himself from making a cynical remark... he can't bring himself to hurt her with the sharp edge of his tongue::
Aramat:... I'm not sure, I'm barely hanging on to humanity myself. Why should I judge what happens. *in a near whisper, doesn't want to admit that she loves his humanity*
Muraki: I hope... no matter what I become, or what form I take, even if I should end up as some astral creature, that I retain my heart... :: Thinking: Though that very part of me which gives me strength, also makes me weak...::
Aramat: Then again, I know that having a heart makes a person like us weak... I often wish to become a complete Sociopath... so the guilt wouldn't haunt me so much.
Muraki: I used to think that, but if I pursued it, I would likely lose the one thing that spurred me to succumb to my darkness in the first place...
Aramat: And what is that?
Muraki: I've found it is better to keep one corner of your humanity: it helps you to be able to think like the ones who do not comprehend the darkness, so one can keep a few steps ahead of them.
Muraki: :: A faint smile:: The woman I love... and those whom I care enough not to use as pawn...
Aramat: *smiles and leans her head on her shoulder* Wonderful choice of words...
Muraki: :: Slipping his arm under her and pulling her close:: It is the truth...
Aramat: Lets enjoy this fleeting time while we can... before he calls us.
Muraki: :: He looks up to the heavens, meditatively, running his long fingers through her hair gently:: So he has spoken to you as well...? :: His hand stiffens a little::
Aramat: Yes, The Dark Lord Himself. He pulled what was left of my mind. I'll be honest with you... I'm scared.
Muraki: I won't say that I fear him, but I know when I've met a superior being, and arguably a distant kinsman, if you will... I know my place before him.
Aramat: Yes, I know. I just fear... he may order me to do something I'll regret. He called to me out of boredom and bloodlust. I haven't fed the former in ages...
Muraki: I suppose that regret is what shows one is still human...
Aramat: And I need to, he knows I need to. Whatever impulse I have that can't be satisfied, I take out on myself.
Muraki: I gave him my word mostly because he promised to speed my evolution... And I have also promised him something that I value, which I think he could make use of...
Aramat: The Shinigami?
Muraki: Yes... :: His hand tightens a little on her hair:: He is more than he seems... much more... we are similar, he and I, both creatures of a similar ancestry...
Aramat: *eyes widen* Tell me...
Muraki: In our world, violet eyes are unnatural, not a color typically found in humans...
Aramat: Same thing in my world. Rare.
Muraki: They are, in fact, a sign that a person with them has the blood of a demon in their veins... I haven't identified the demon yet, but I suspect he may be a kinsman of mine, the descendant of Kokabiel, a fallen angel who commanded one hundred thousand lesser spirits...
Aramat: He's a demon?
Muraki: He has the strength of one, but his darkest aspects were sealed away by the King of Hades. They have a use for him, and so they tamed him, as it were...
Muraki: But anything that has been sealed away can be unsealed... and that is something which I intend to accomplish. :: His hand tightens in her hair again and her scalp may likely start to ache a little::
Aramat: *doesn't mind this, still a tad scared*
Muraki: His ability to heal nearly instantly of any injury is something that I lack, and I mean to tease out this ability and graft it onto myself... as well as to use it to heal the love of my life...
Aramat: *merely listens, enjoying the pain*
Muraki: But before I can complete my evolution, I will need to be brought to the threshold of death one last time... If I had my choice, it would be at his hands, but he is besotted with me, much as he hates me... Once his dark side is unsealed, that will be a different matter... Once he reveals his darkness to me, my work will be complete and my damaged self will be made whole...
Aramat: I see... and what will you do then?
Muraki: Beyond that... we'll see what becomes of me. I suppose I'm still sentimental enough to think I can continue as before, but in truth... I have no idea.
Aramat: Kazu, this yanking feels nice and all. But can you take your hand out my hair?
Muraki: Oh... :: Not exactly embarrassed, but close to it, as he retracts his hand and lays it on her head gently::
Muraki: I forget my own strength at times... or maybe I wanted to. :: Smirks::
Aramat: You should try it more often... *rubs her head*
Muraki: What, forgetting my own strength on you? Don't give me any ideas, sister-mine, I have enough of my own...
Aramat: *chuckles*
Muraki: :: Smirks, ruffling her hair, then shifts on the cushion, sitting up higher:: I do have another small project which I'm just launching...
Aramat: Whatever could it be? *airy tone*
Muraki: I seem to be slowly gathering a stable of young men: I've offered to serve as a confidante to a relative newcomer, one Albert Herrera. If he wasn't seeking to pursue a course that's outside my expertise, I would take him on as a student:: But my services rarely lack a price-tag, thus I've been considering how he could pay me. Autumn is coming quickly, and I'm going to be in need of some ...congenial youngster to keep me warm at night, since I chill easily when I'm not up and about...
Aramat: I've never seen him before...
Muraki: He's a little thin for the task, so I was wondering if you could do me the favor of feeding him up somewhat? Just enough to put some flesh on his form, but not to the point of making him unsightly.
Aramat: *beams* I'd LOVE to!
Muraki: He's about sixteen or seventeen -- the perfect age, just old enough to have a rough idea of what he wants, but still young enough that his innocence is fairly intact. Mussed brown hair, blue eyes... and there's a small mole just below his left eye, plus he tends to dress rather garishly, but that somehow adds to his air of youthful naivety.
Aramat: *Gets excited* He sounds so adorable, I'd cook for him everyday!
Muraki: He is... I'm not sure quite what to do with him, besides getting him between the sheets and taking some of his warmth, but he may prove useful, in time.
Aramat: Useful? What do you mean by that?
Muraki: I might have him do a little surveillance for me, nothing threatening, I promise you that, but I will need all the eyes I can get: I don't doubt that damned shinigami is planning something, and I have every intention of getting the drop on him.
Aramat: I understand...As your sister and partner, just know that you can trust me with anything. I do mean anything.
Muraki: Who knows... I may have more luck with this one than I did with my student. While I'm pleased with how that's turned out, I've been less than successful in other areas, but one can't have everything... :: Still the note of disappointment, but there's a hint of resignation::
Muraki: :: Squeezing her shoulder:: I know that I can, which is why I'm asking you. I'm a lousy cook, as well, unless it involves a vegetarian dish, since I gave up most flesh meat a long time ago.
Aramat: *is rather giddy, likes kids and cooking, in that order* Any favorite dish he likes?
Muraki: I regret to say that I don't rightly know. I suspect he's of mixed French and Spanish ancestry, so should you know any of their cuisine, perhaps you include that?
Aramat: Of course!
Muraki: I shall have to think of some way to reward you, dear sister. :: Slipping his free arm about her waist::
Aramat: *blushes* Kazu... you're too nice.
Muraki: One of my worst weaknesses and best defenses: it confuses those who think they know me as a mere monster...
Aramat: Is there anything I don't like about you?
Muraki: Hmmm... the fact that I have yet to ...yield to your attentions and partake of your beauty? :: Suddenly thoughtful, tilts her face up to his::
Aramat: *blushes like whoa* Um, um... I thought I never would be nervous like this.
Muraki: I have that effect on people. :: Finds her nervousness adorable... and delicious...::
Aramat: My god... it's been a long time. I think I may I have forgotten.
Muraki: Forgotten what it feels like to be awkward around a handsome man? :: Pleased, lapping it up::
Aramat: Yes.
Muraki: :: She might even start to feel him warming just a little beneath her, but it might even be her own warmth soaking into his shirt... Maybe...::
Aramat: You are one of few. *There are two including Muraki... maybe three.*
Muraki: I am honored to be one of those elect, and I am humbled as well, that you would allow me to be so intimate...
Aramat: *clearly lusting now* I... don't know what to do around you, Brother.
Muraki: :: Has to restrain his own desires, but he caresses her cheek with his thumb:: You need not do anything, Nee-chan, dear sister... You merely need to *be*.
Aramat:... *blushing* PLEASE forgive me brother, as I don't think I'm ready yet...
Muraki: No... I can sense that... Besides, a rowboat is no place for that kind of encounter, unless you don't mind it becoming suddenly very... damp. :: Snerks a little::
Aramat: *blushes*
Muraki: There's no hard feelings, I assure you: I may be a lecher, but I am a patient one. I've had a good deal of practice of late.
Aramat: It's hard being patient... *And having a sadist for a typist*
Muraki: :: A wry chuckle in his throat:: Try having an entity within you which does not comprehend the meaning of restraint...
Aramat: Oh my...
Muraki: :: Glancing at the sides of the boat:: If we weren't in this boat, that part of me would be poking at me and teasing me into letting it have its way with you.
Aramat: Is it a blessing, or curse to have this phage within you?
Muraki: It is both, depending on the circumstances. It keeps me alive, it helps me to be more than a mere human, to be stronger than the skinny, spindly youth that I was.
Aramat: So its a double-edged sword?
Muraki: :: Pauses, thoughtfully:: But it can be a curse. Its voice can be tiresome, even maddening. And it views all people as just one thing: livestock. Cattle. A source of nourishment.
Aramat: *eyes grow wide*
Muraki: It's the cold truth. I've had train it not to try feeding off certain people. It's a ravenous dog at times: it has no discernment whatsoever... There have been a few times it's slipped its chain, but I have a firm grip on that chain now.
Aramat: Well, one as to pay a price for embracing darkness. I have to live with guilt and needling voices in my head that tell me to do things.
Muraki: :: chuckles in his throat:: We are of a kind, in that respect, we are siblings in that sense, which is why I embraced you as a sister...
Aramat: I wasn't like this, you know...
Muraki: Do tell: I feel as though I've been doing all the talking this evening.
Aramat: I was merely a little girl. Mad Mother, Disappointed Father. He wanted a boy because he knew what going to happen to me
Muraki: :: Another wry chuckle:: You're not alone, my father never put much stock in me, though I didn't know why till I was sixteen and the reason for that came to live with us, but I'm interrupting...
Aramat: It's alright. All he wanted was for the Seward name to continue. My Uncle Theo has already hopeless about it. Thats why he holed himself in his mansion. Aside from us visiting, or the odd 'lady of ill repute' coming in and never being seen again. He was odd.
Muraki: :: Chuckles:: I might have liked to have known him: I have my reclusive moments and given my complexion and the medical reasons for it, I've had my all but nocturnal periods...
Aramat: You remind me of him. He took a liking to me, though. Trained me early in the art of autopsy. However when I was ten, I met someone, a girl with curly black hair, skin the color of coffee with cream, and the sweetest smile... her name was Charlotte. She lived around the area where Uncle Theo’s mansion was. And we would play with each other. I was just glad someone my age would talk to me. Hell, I was glad to actually be outside my house.
Muraki: I envy you: my mother kept me... rather secluded in the family mansion up until I was about that age, and it took me some time to shrug off the anti-social tendencies I learned from her... I never really was able to relate to other youngsters my age, till I was in my teens... :: A pain memory ticks through his pale eye, then is gone.
Aramat: One day, when I was around thirteen or so, I noticed... something about Charlotte. Maybe it was her beauty, maybe it was her bravery... it as something that had to be rewarded. So I kissed her. She actually took it quite well. Uncle Theo saw everything though and told my father... *a dejected look upon her face*
Aramat: I remember his exact words, "You little whore, how dare you engage in dyke love with a girl who’s half nigger!"
Muraki: :: Takes her face in his hands, looks into her eyes with nothing but compassion::
Aramat: A few days later, I was ordered to pack up all my things, and leave with Father to go 'A place were I could be cured.' Cook Asylum.
Muraki: I know that feeling too well. When I was fourteen, my father had me sent to a Catholic school in Nagasaki; he had become a Christian, and he wanted me to take up the same faith. He wasn't aware of some of the debauched things going on in that school, much less that I had started to develop a fondness for the sterner sex... :: Strokes her cheeks gently with his thumbs:: That you had to go through such treatment...
Aramat: *looks away* Uncle Theo knew the Director. It was run very Old-Fashioned. Very Homegrown. We weren't even sure that half the staff were even qualified. They took all kinds of girls, rebels, shy ones, mentally unhinged ones, any type that didn’t... "meet standards".
Muraki: :: Frowns, listens with compassion mingled with a quiet anger that she had to endure this, but the anger is not directed at her::
Aramat: They wanted to cure us... by scaring, experimenting, raping, and abusing "The strange" out of us... *eyes go empty* And that wasn't even the worst part... the Doctors were sadist who liked watching... "games".
Muraki: :: A flicker passes across his glass eye: he's been guilty of things just as horrible, but perhaps he had the decency to finish off his prey, rather than turning them loose::
Aramat: The doctors would choose a random girl that he liked. Take them under their wing, perhaps 'force them to have a good time'. Then let her loose on a weaker, more vulnerable inmate... *says all of this calmly, but her eyes say everything*
Muraki: :: His touch momentarily grows warm, but he pulls that back, hers is a pain which tempts him, but he forces himself not to take advantage of it when she is describing her vulnerabilities::
Aramat: We weren't allowed to feel pain or guilt. We were tortured until all we could do was laugh at the pain. Mine was a special case.
Muraki: You were harder for them to break...?
Aramat: Instead of merely crying, I was begging for it.
Muraki: You threw yourself on the blade when they expected you to shrink from it...
Aramat: It merely hurt at first... but once I got some kills under my belt. I became his little murderess.
Muraki: You became more than they expected...
Aramat: I would do anything for Dr. Edwards. Silt that girls throat, fine. Get beaten to a pulp by the guard so he can watch, sure.
Muraki: :: Thinking: This goes beyond mere Stockholm Syndrome....:: In a low voice:: Just so they would approve of you...
Aramat: Spread my legs so he could stick anything he wanted in there, of course. When you're forced, when you're trained. You don't ask.
Muraki: :: Pain memories of his own start to rise in his recall, things he hasn't thought of in years...::
Aramat: ...The guilt would hit, it would hit hard. One time they had to drag me from the river, kicking and screaming. I wanted t odie so badly, I couldn't get the blood off my hands. Then there's that time when I purpose overdosed on the medication... and the silt wrists. I've tried everything actually.
Muraki: And so, like me, you embraced the monster they made you into. You're less culpable than I am: you had your spirit battered into the shape that it takes now. I had this demon within me all along, waiting for the right moment to awaken...
Aramat: Two of a kind aren't we?
Muraki: At least we understand each other's experiences...
Aramat: Yes, I hope you don't think of me as a monster...
Muraki: We have walked through the same fire... If I think of you as a monster, it is as I think of myself: as someone who has embraced their darkness and who does not pretend to themselves that they are anything but what they are.
Aramat: *hugs him* I'm so glad to have met you, Kazu. And one last thing, my real name isn't
Aramat. It is Tamara. Tamara Matilda Seward. You're the only one to know that...
Muraki: :: Holding her with a strange tenderness:: I suspected your name was an anagram or some such, but I did not ask: always respect a woman's discretion.
Aramat: ...I love you.
Muraki: And your secret is safe with me... I've told you of my lineage, something I've told very few.
Aramat: Your secret is safe with me as well.
Muraki: :: Takes this in an almost stunned silence, then leans in and kisses her mouth gently, then pulling back:: Actions speak louder than words...
Aramat: *Has a honest smile on her face* Yes they do, Brother. Yes they do.
What: Muraki and Aramat have a moment alone in the moonlight
When: August 24th
Rating: PG-13 (possible triggery content)
:: At some point, Aramat might find a note slipped under her door: "Sister-mine, I've found a rowboat that wasn't on the lakeshore before. The moon is almost full, and it couldn't make me more pleased, if you were to join me for a midnight turn on the lake? Meet me at 9 pm, at the boat landing. K." The handwriting is unmistakably Muraki's odd scrawl...::
::Aramat finds the note and immediately makes up her mind to to go. When the two meet, Aramat will be wearing a white dress with a matching parasol. Most strangely of all, her hair is down.::
:: She'll actually hear him before she sees him, calling out in the shadows to someone further up the shore. "Pardon me, young man, but you'll have to wait your turn to use that vessel. My sister and I need it just now." A moment later, he steps out of the shadows and onto the dock, carrying a cushion under one arm. It's a cool night, but he's in his shirtsleeves. He pauses and a smile crosses his face as he spies her.::
Muraki: Aramat... looking lovely as always, I see. Sorry for the delay, someone else was rying to take possession of the boat I've had my eye on.
Aramat: ::Aramat gives him a warm smile.:: Kazu, it's so nice to see you again. It's all right. Let’s go.
:: He sets the cushions into the bow of the boat, then helps her into it before getting in and untying the small craft, then pushing it off::
:: He rows slowly, glancing up to the moonlight from time to time, almost as if he were drinking it in.::
Aramat: ::She looks at the moon and it's reflection on the water with a calm, serene look on her face.:: It's really lovely tonight, isn't it, Kazu?
Muraki: :: Silent a moment, then almost snaps back to reality:: The moonlight itself is almost invigorating tonight.
Muraki: I prefer to draw on the energy of sentient beings, but there are times when the spirit energy present in nature is impossible to ignore.
Aramat: It's fine, brother dear, I don't blame you. It's been a while since I've been near water like this. I remember trying to sink... ::Says this with a eerie calm::
Muraki: We share that in common, don't we? That inability to cleanse our own debauched souls with our own blood? :: There's an almost tender bitterness in his tone::
Aramat: ...Yes. And we can never truly become clean...
Muraki: In my case, the entity which sustains me also will not allow me to force my own quietus. Or perhaps I'm delusional and I am too much of a coward to take the honorable way out.
Aramat: ::Puts a small hand around his.:: No you aren't, you have a reason for saying on this earth now...
Muraki: :: Pausing, looking at her hand, then putting up the oars and covering her hand with the other:: Yes... I have my research, I have a student to train and I've recently offered to mentor another young man...
Muraki: And there is my eventual assignation with a certain fey shinigami. :: He says this with a smirk::
Aramat: You also have another reason... Kazu.
Muraki: The love of my life...? I have to admit, there is a part of me that has begun to despair of seeing her again, though another part of me has contemplated finding some way to summon her here... Though I was concerned that you might feel somewhat jealous.
Aramat: *looks away* That's a good reason too, but there's me. I don't know what I would do without you Kazu.
Muraki: Forgive me, I should not have been thinking of another lovely woman while rowing with one... :: Self-deprecating smirk::
Aramat: ::Puts on a small, sad smile.:: I want you to be happy. And she makes you happy. I will not fight if she comes. Although, I will not lie, I will be a tad jealous.
Muraki: :: Chuckles in his throat, leans back on one of the cushions in the prow of the boat:: I have to admit, there is a part of me that finds no end of amusement in the jealousy of others. But this is one instance I would try to avoid it.
Muraki: She will be your sister in law, in a sense, someday, when my work is complete and I have healed her and made her whole. :: A somewhat distant look comes into his good eye for a moment, then is gone;:
Aramat: I bet she's wonderful.
Muraki: She is... she is frail and delicate, as if a breath would shatter her, but she has a quiet strength of her own. I suppose it is her innocence that makes her strong. Normally my worse side would try to destroy what innocence it can find, but somehow, there is something in her that keeps it at bay.
Muraki: Have you seen medieval tapestries of a woman with a white unicorn laying its head in her lap, keeping the beast tame? She is the lady in the garden, and I am the unicorn she tamed...
Aramat: *looks down* I wish to have a love like that one day...
Muraki: I hope that you do: it would get you off my back. :: He glances at her, a wry smirk quirking the corners of his mouth:: That was a tasteless joke, forgive me.
Aramat: *giggling* It's all right, must be frustrating.
Muraki: You are one of the people in this place who somewhat define 'forbidden fruit'. There are others, least of all the young man I am passing on my knowledge to. :: He gazes across the lake, toward the house, breathing a sigh through his nostrils::
Aramat:... What? *Didn't hear about Muraki's desires for his student, is shocking her*
Muraki: I have to admit, my desire for him is partly what fuels my interest in helping him develop his talents and attain his goals. But he has a wounded spirit and I gave him my word that I would respect him for that. He has no interest in me, in that regard, and it likely has everything to do with that wound.
Aramat: Umm... *tongue-tied*
Muraki: You seem surprised. :: He still has a wry note in his voice::
Aramat: I am! I mean, he's so young... I shouldn't judge though.
Muraki: Things are different in my country: the age of consent is considerably younger than it is in the States -- age sixteen, thus it isn't terribly unusual to see couples that are quite different in age. On top of that, I've always been drawn to the young, but no younger than sixteen.
Aramat: *Thinks: I REALLY shouldn't judge. He was 38 and I was 15...*
Muraki: I hope I haven't shocked you: I can't really help what I am: my own sixteenth year was a traumatic one, and there is likely a part of me that is emotionally stuck at that age.
Aramat:...I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm thirteen forever. That’s a terrible thing.
Muraki: We are of a kind, it seems. It's likely that wound in his soul that draws me to him: part of me would wish to heal him, by showing him that not all who are drawn to him are bent only on wounding him...
Aramat: *looks away*... I'm sorry for nearly unchaining your phage.
Muraki: It would likely have happened in time: it tries to slip its bindings from time to time. But... I am honored that you entrusted your quietus into my hands.
:: He looks at her with a deep compassion, though at the same time, the moonlight flickers oddly on his glass eye for a moment, as if both halves of his nature would show their respective thoughts on the prospect::
Aramat: I do. When the day comes, I'll be ready. *Although she doesn't want to admit that it might hurt her.*
Muraki: I hope that it doesn't come for some time, though when it does, I promise you, it will likely bring you to the heights of ecstasy and the depths of pain before it ends... Most of my kills have been done out of necessity: to protect myself or something sensitive, or to nourish myself. But this... this will be the first time I will kill out of love.
Aramat: *has a brief moment of shock, but it doesn't show upon his face* I hope it doesn't effect you, because you are the chosen one, the one to end me without a fight.
Muraki: :: a low chuckle in his throat:: I'm curious to know what would happen: I doubt it would harm me. I do have moments when I feel an echo of the emotions of my victims, moments before the last of their life force drains into my being, but it does not last for long and I've learned not to let it disturb me.
Aramat:... That’s good, it's very professional.
Muraki: I have to be: I may be a monster, but I am first and foremost a gentleman. But it doesn't make it easy, and there are times I have lost my grip on my desires. Do I regret them? Perhaps. One has to lose oneself once in a while to remind oneself that you aren't perfect.
Aramat: Indeed. That reminds me, Kazu? If anything should befall me, would you hunt that person down?
Muraki: You have to ask? :: Still with that teasing note, then he grows more serious;: It goes without saying. For one thing, I wouldn't be a gentleman of my stature if I didn't find some means to avenge someone in my protection who came to harm.
Muraki: For another... I made a promise to myself as a young man that I would never let anyone take anything from me, and that if they did, I would make them pay for that folly... :: His tone grows more animated and a harsh look ticks through his eyes::
Aramat: *hollow eyes* That’s good, brother, I sense that I will go back to place within me that even I fear... I may even die.
Muraki: What do you mean...? :: a cold curiosity, mixed with suspicion, as he sits up higher on the cushion, the boat swaying just a bit at this movement::
Aramat: *In strangely calm, even-tempered voice* Have you met a man named Rudy Cooper?
Muraki: I have... a rather odd young man and one of the more irritating types, since I couldn't get a read on his emotions. Don't worry, he's not my type; I have no interest in making a project out of anyone who can't get squeamish around me.
Aramat: *smiles* I don't know how about him. On one hand, no reactions. On the other, there will be no guilt about killing him. Beautiful face on him though...
Muraki: Mmm... I'd hate to have to cut him up, if it came to that. Do tell me he hasn't been sniffing around you? I wouldn't want it to become necessary for me to get his blood on my shoes just yet.
Aramat: His eyes... There’s no light in them in at all. Mine look like that, but his...
Muraki: Like the eyes of some emotionally undead being. I saw that... :: Says this in almost brooding tone::
Muraki: :: Thinking: Like *his*... like Saki's...::
Aramat: I sound paranoid, but... he's a predator... a wolf. I just have a feeling.
Muraki: Mmm... and the type who, if he isn't careful, becomes the prey. I despise those types: they're too obvious, and that makes targets of the rest of us who follow a different ethical path than the norm. :: with a note of irritation::
Aramat: If he makes a move towards me, or anyone else that I hold dear. Something will be unleashed upon him... something completely free, and utterly without mercy or control. *grins, in her own unsettling way*
Muraki: And who would that include, besides me? The ones you consider worthy of protecting I too will help you safeguard...
Aramat: Dahlia Hawthrone, Wendla Bergman, and possibly dear, sweet Phedre.
Muraki: The first two I haven't made the acquaintance of, but the last... Oh yes, my sweet little briar rose, who moans so sweetly under the points of my knives... :: His voice becoming husky at the very thought of her::
Aramat: *sighs just thinking about her* You know it too? That lovely Countess with perfect skin that never scars? *The mere thought of makes her dreamy*
Muraki: She took compassion on me when I met her a few months after my arrival, when I was still recovering from some injuries I sustained in my world... I had not been intimate with anyone in months, but she let me into her chamber and allowed me to pleasure her and so pleasure myself. :: His good eye grows misty and yet devious at the very thought of her::
Muraki: So I take it that you and I are sharing her as a concubine? :: Smirking, pleased by the prospect::
Aramat: She was my first... *voice gets sweet* Yes, I think we are...
Muraki: Hmmmm... my first as well. Perhaps some night we can... share her, as long as you don't mind if I should... happen to skim energy from the both of you? :: said with a crooked smirk::
Aramat: *tilts her head and says in a husky yet innocent tone* I'll think about it...
Muraki: Hmmm... reluctant to share with your big brother? :: Tsks, but he's smiling mischievously::
Aramat: *smirks* I have to be a lady you know, Kazu.
Muraki: So a threesome would be out? Disappointing, but I can and will respect that. :: He leans back on the cushion in the prow and turns his face up to the moonlight, letting his eyelids go slack::
Aramat: *crawls on top of him* I can change my mind anytime I want you know...
Muraki: :: The boat sways under them, but he shifts under her, adjusting the balance, and his hand rises to stroke her back::
Muraki: Hmmm... a lady always reserves the right to change her mind at any moment, and I respect that... I've been known to do that myself from time to time...
Aramat: *moans* Kazu... *gets off of him*
Muraki: Hmmm... what? :: Looking up at her, almost lazily::
Aramat: I'm sorry... I, I just can't do this. God knows I want to, but I can't.
Muraki: Do what? Ride the waters of the lake with your dear brother? :: Smirking::
Aramat: *huddles into a ball* I've been afraid all this time... I still am!
Muraki: Afraid? Of me, or...? :: He sits up, taking a less tempting position::
Aramat: I want to believe that this is all perfect and wonderful... it isn't... it can't be. You're going to use me, aren't you? Like everyone else. *tears start to form* No one wants me if they can't use me... What’s your purpose?
Muraki: :: Looking at her:: I have no reason to use you. I may not be above using people around me as pawns in the chess game I've made of my life. But not everyone is.
Aramat: *shivers and covers her head*
Muraki: Not everyone is a pawn in my eyes. Not my fiancée. Not you either. I have a sense of family, however strange my definition of it may be.
Aramat:... I want to believe you Kazu. I really do. But I don't deserve love...*eyes get empty* the only thing I deserve is... *suddenly looks at the water*
Aramat: *smiles all of sudden with tears in her eyes* Kazu, do you think I can sink pretty?
Muraki: Playing Ophelia, are you? I shan't stop you from jumping, if that is what you wish...
Aramat *grins* She's my role model. *Is secretly hating that.*
Muraki: Does that make me your Hamlet? You'll find me considerably less hesitant though more mad than that gloomy prince...
Aramat: *looks away* Can I tell you that I want you to be?
Muraki: If it pleases you, I shall: you are part of my household, and I want only your pleasure... :: Leaning slightly forward, elbows on knees::
Aramat: *tears fall* Thank you, Brother. *embraces him* I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry.
Muraki: :: He draws her close, burying his face in her hair and rumbling deep in his throat:: No need to apologize, you have done nothing wrong, little sister...
Aramat: You aren't like him at all.
Muraki: Though you do make me worry and I hate worrying about others: it's rather a waste of the energy I can barely spare... but I suppose that is a sign I am still human...
Aramat: It's what brothers do...
Muraki: Who, that nasty little dwarf who's been snuffing around you? :: Pulling back, looking her in the eye, his good eye narrowed::
Aramat: No, someone else, a man a lot like you... a man that I loved.
Muraki: Someone who broke your heart? Tell me, if you are ready to unburden your heart of it.
Aramat: I met him when I was thirteen, just sent to the asylum. He was the head doctor... he didn't break my heart. He created me. And as you can see, he created a monster.
Muraki: In some ways, breaking your heart would have been kinder by comparison. But in other ways, he made you stronger than you would have been on your own.
Muraki: I know that feeling: I never had my heart broken, but I have had my spirit broken over and over again, till I took charge of that and took control of reforging it into the weapon that it is now... :: Smirks::
Aramat: In many ways I'm him... maybe that’s he's carrying on his bloody, insane, legacy... through me.
Muraki: May I tell you something, Aramat? It's not something I've been able to tell to anyone, since most would call me mad for saying it. :: He's looking her in the eye, in deadly earnest::
Aramat: Go on.
Muraki: By all accounts, I should not exist, and I have even been slated for destruction by my own kindred...
Aramat: Your... kindred? You were never human were you?
Muraki: Genetically, I'm only half human, but given how much I've given myself over to my dark side, its less than it was. My mother was the genetic offspring of the Grigori Sariel, the angel of the moon and of magick... her kindred pulled me out of the wreckage of my lab, when that damned shinigami tried to destroy me along with himself.
Aramat: I see... and why have you been marked for death?
Muraki: But they salvaged me only to use me for their purposes. I'm no ones plaything, and so I escaped from their world and came to this place..
Aramat: *smiles* A runaway angel.
Muraki: I was told that my mother was a flawed creation and that I carry the same flaws as recessive genes: they can't risk imperfection in their creation nor could they waste anything, so they had recalled me, intending to find some use for me.
Aramat: *puts her hand lightly on his chin* How can you not be perfect in every way? Those foolish angels don't know anything. But then again, I am only human. My blood bleeds red like everyone else and leaves a crooked scar.
Muraki: As do I, when in fact, I should heal without a mark. I should be able to regenerate the eye that I lost, but it's been over fifteen years since the attack that cost me half my eyesight.
Aramat: *looks serious* You want to evolve, don't you?
Muraki: :: Looking up to the moon:: I want to repair the flaws in my genetics. I want to develop into the fullness of my strength... On the one hand, I accept whatever I become in the end, and on the other, I fear I may lose the last vestiges of my humanity...
Aramat: *lip trembles a bit, fearing the worst*
Muraki: You fear losing me, or losing the man that you know? :: He restrains himself from making a cynical remark... he can't bring himself to hurt her with the sharp edge of his tongue::
Aramat:... I'm not sure, I'm barely hanging on to humanity myself. Why should I judge what happens. *in a near whisper, doesn't want to admit that she loves his humanity*
Muraki: I hope... no matter what I become, or what form I take, even if I should end up as some astral creature, that I retain my heart... :: Thinking: Though that very part of me which gives me strength, also makes me weak...::
Aramat: Then again, I know that having a heart makes a person like us weak... I often wish to become a complete Sociopath... so the guilt wouldn't haunt me so much.
Muraki: I used to think that, but if I pursued it, I would likely lose the one thing that spurred me to succumb to my darkness in the first place...
Aramat: And what is that?
Muraki: I've found it is better to keep one corner of your humanity: it helps you to be able to think like the ones who do not comprehend the darkness, so one can keep a few steps ahead of them.
Muraki: :: A faint smile:: The woman I love... and those whom I care enough not to use as pawn...
Aramat: *smiles and leans her head on her shoulder* Wonderful choice of words...
Muraki: :: Slipping his arm under her and pulling her close:: It is the truth...
Aramat: Lets enjoy this fleeting time while we can... before he calls us.
Muraki: :: He looks up to the heavens, meditatively, running his long fingers through her hair gently:: So he has spoken to you as well...? :: His hand stiffens a little::
Aramat: Yes, The Dark Lord Himself. He pulled what was left of my mind. I'll be honest with you... I'm scared.
Muraki: I won't say that I fear him, but I know when I've met a superior being, and arguably a distant kinsman, if you will... I know my place before him.
Aramat: Yes, I know. I just fear... he may order me to do something I'll regret. He called to me out of boredom and bloodlust. I haven't fed the former in ages...
Muraki: I suppose that regret is what shows one is still human...
Aramat: And I need to, he knows I need to. Whatever impulse I have that can't be satisfied, I take out on myself.
Muraki: I gave him my word mostly because he promised to speed my evolution... And I have also promised him something that I value, which I think he could make use of...
Aramat: The Shinigami?
Muraki: Yes... :: His hand tightens a little on her hair:: He is more than he seems... much more... we are similar, he and I, both creatures of a similar ancestry...
Aramat: *eyes widen* Tell me...
Muraki: In our world, violet eyes are unnatural, not a color typically found in humans...
Aramat: Same thing in my world. Rare.
Muraki: They are, in fact, a sign that a person with them has the blood of a demon in their veins... I haven't identified the demon yet, but I suspect he may be a kinsman of mine, the descendant of Kokabiel, a fallen angel who commanded one hundred thousand lesser spirits...
Aramat: He's a demon?
Muraki: He has the strength of one, but his darkest aspects were sealed away by the King of Hades. They have a use for him, and so they tamed him, as it were...
Muraki: But anything that has been sealed away can be unsealed... and that is something which I intend to accomplish. :: His hand tightens in her hair again and her scalp may likely start to ache a little::
Aramat: *doesn't mind this, still a tad scared*
Muraki: His ability to heal nearly instantly of any injury is something that I lack, and I mean to tease out this ability and graft it onto myself... as well as to use it to heal the love of my life...
Aramat: *merely listens, enjoying the pain*
Muraki: But before I can complete my evolution, I will need to be brought to the threshold of death one last time... If I had my choice, it would be at his hands, but he is besotted with me, much as he hates me... Once his dark side is unsealed, that will be a different matter... Once he reveals his darkness to me, my work will be complete and my damaged self will be made whole...
Aramat: I see... and what will you do then?
Muraki: Beyond that... we'll see what becomes of me. I suppose I'm still sentimental enough to think I can continue as before, but in truth... I have no idea.
Aramat: Kazu, this yanking feels nice and all. But can you take your hand out my hair?
Muraki: Oh... :: Not exactly embarrassed, but close to it, as he retracts his hand and lays it on her head gently::
Muraki: I forget my own strength at times... or maybe I wanted to. :: Smirks::
Aramat: You should try it more often... *rubs her head*
Muraki: What, forgetting my own strength on you? Don't give me any ideas, sister-mine, I have enough of my own...
Aramat: *chuckles*
Muraki: :: Smirks, ruffling her hair, then shifts on the cushion, sitting up higher:: I do have another small project which I'm just launching...
Aramat: Whatever could it be? *airy tone*
Muraki: I seem to be slowly gathering a stable of young men: I've offered to serve as a confidante to a relative newcomer, one Albert Herrera. If he wasn't seeking to pursue a course that's outside my expertise, I would take him on as a student:: But my services rarely lack a price-tag, thus I've been considering how he could pay me. Autumn is coming quickly, and I'm going to be in need of some ...congenial youngster to keep me warm at night, since I chill easily when I'm not up and about...
Aramat: I've never seen him before...
Muraki: He's a little thin for the task, so I was wondering if you could do me the favor of feeding him up somewhat? Just enough to put some flesh on his form, but not to the point of making him unsightly.
Aramat: *beams* I'd LOVE to!
Muraki: He's about sixteen or seventeen -- the perfect age, just old enough to have a rough idea of what he wants, but still young enough that his innocence is fairly intact. Mussed brown hair, blue eyes... and there's a small mole just below his left eye, plus he tends to dress rather garishly, but that somehow adds to his air of youthful naivety.
Aramat: *Gets excited* He sounds so adorable, I'd cook for him everyday!
Muraki: He is... I'm not sure quite what to do with him, besides getting him between the sheets and taking some of his warmth, but he may prove useful, in time.
Aramat: Useful? What do you mean by that?
Muraki: I might have him do a little surveillance for me, nothing threatening, I promise you that, but I will need all the eyes I can get: I don't doubt that damned shinigami is planning something, and I have every intention of getting the drop on him.
Aramat: I understand...As your sister and partner, just know that you can trust me with anything. I do mean anything.
Muraki: Who knows... I may have more luck with this one than I did with my student. While I'm pleased with how that's turned out, I've been less than successful in other areas, but one can't have everything... :: Still the note of disappointment, but there's a hint of resignation::
Muraki: :: Squeezing her shoulder:: I know that I can, which is why I'm asking you. I'm a lousy cook, as well, unless it involves a vegetarian dish, since I gave up most flesh meat a long time ago.
Aramat: *is rather giddy, likes kids and cooking, in that order* Any favorite dish he likes?
Muraki: I regret to say that I don't rightly know. I suspect he's of mixed French and Spanish ancestry, so should you know any of their cuisine, perhaps you include that?
Aramat: Of course!
Muraki: I shall have to think of some way to reward you, dear sister. :: Slipping his free arm about her waist::
Aramat: *blushes* Kazu... you're too nice.
Muraki: One of my worst weaknesses and best defenses: it confuses those who think they know me as a mere monster...
Aramat: Is there anything I don't like about you?
Muraki: Hmmm... the fact that I have yet to ...yield to your attentions and partake of your beauty? :: Suddenly thoughtful, tilts her face up to his::
Aramat: *blushes like whoa* Um, um... I thought I never would be nervous like this.
Muraki: I have that effect on people. :: Finds her nervousness adorable... and delicious...::
Aramat: My god... it's been a long time. I think I may I have forgotten.
Muraki: Forgotten what it feels like to be awkward around a handsome man? :: Pleased, lapping it up::
Aramat: Yes.
Muraki: :: She might even start to feel him warming just a little beneath her, but it might even be her own warmth soaking into his shirt... Maybe...::
Aramat: You are one of few. *There are two including Muraki... maybe three.*
Muraki: I am honored to be one of those elect, and I am humbled as well, that you would allow me to be so intimate...
Aramat: *clearly lusting now* I... don't know what to do around you, Brother.
Muraki: :: Has to restrain his own desires, but he caresses her cheek with his thumb:: You need not do anything, Nee-chan, dear sister... You merely need to *be*.
Aramat:... *blushing* PLEASE forgive me brother, as I don't think I'm ready yet...
Muraki: No... I can sense that... Besides, a rowboat is no place for that kind of encounter, unless you don't mind it becoming suddenly very... damp. :: Snerks a little::
Aramat: *blushes*
Muraki: There's no hard feelings, I assure you: I may be a lecher, but I am a patient one. I've had a good deal of practice of late.
Aramat: It's hard being patient... *And having a sadist for a typist*
Muraki: :: A wry chuckle in his throat:: Try having an entity within you which does not comprehend the meaning of restraint...
Aramat: Oh my...
Muraki: :: Glancing at the sides of the boat:: If we weren't in this boat, that part of me would be poking at me and teasing me into letting it have its way with you.
Aramat: Is it a blessing, or curse to have this phage within you?
Muraki: It is both, depending on the circumstances. It keeps me alive, it helps me to be more than a mere human, to be stronger than the skinny, spindly youth that I was.
Aramat: So its a double-edged sword?
Muraki: :: Pauses, thoughtfully:: But it can be a curse. Its voice can be tiresome, even maddening. And it views all people as just one thing: livestock. Cattle. A source of nourishment.
Aramat: *eyes grow wide*
Muraki: It's the cold truth. I've had train it not to try feeding off certain people. It's a ravenous dog at times: it has no discernment whatsoever... There have been a few times it's slipped its chain, but I have a firm grip on that chain now.
Aramat: Well, one as to pay a price for embracing darkness. I have to live with guilt and needling voices in my head that tell me to do things.
Muraki: :: chuckles in his throat:: We are of a kind, in that respect, we are siblings in that sense, which is why I embraced you as a sister...
Aramat: I wasn't like this, you know...
Muraki: Do tell: I feel as though I've been doing all the talking this evening.
Aramat: I was merely a little girl. Mad Mother, Disappointed Father. He wanted a boy because he knew what going to happen to me
Muraki: :: Another wry chuckle:: You're not alone, my father never put much stock in me, though I didn't know why till I was sixteen and the reason for that came to live with us, but I'm interrupting...
Aramat: It's alright. All he wanted was for the Seward name to continue. My Uncle Theo has already hopeless about it. Thats why he holed himself in his mansion. Aside from us visiting, or the odd 'lady of ill repute' coming in and never being seen again. He was odd.
Muraki: :: Chuckles:: I might have liked to have known him: I have my reclusive moments and given my complexion and the medical reasons for it, I've had my all but nocturnal periods...
Aramat: You remind me of him. He took a liking to me, though. Trained me early in the art of autopsy. However when I was ten, I met someone, a girl with curly black hair, skin the color of coffee with cream, and the sweetest smile... her name was Charlotte. She lived around the area where Uncle Theo’s mansion was. And we would play with each other. I was just glad someone my age would talk to me. Hell, I was glad to actually be outside my house.
Muraki: I envy you: my mother kept me... rather secluded in the family mansion up until I was about that age, and it took me some time to shrug off the anti-social tendencies I learned from her... I never really was able to relate to other youngsters my age, till I was in my teens... :: A pain memory ticks through his pale eye, then is gone.
Aramat: One day, when I was around thirteen or so, I noticed... something about Charlotte. Maybe it was her beauty, maybe it was her bravery... it as something that had to be rewarded. So I kissed her. She actually took it quite well. Uncle Theo saw everything though and told my father... *a dejected look upon her face*
Aramat: I remember his exact words, "You little whore, how dare you engage in dyke love with a girl who’s half nigger!"
Muraki: :: Takes her face in his hands, looks into her eyes with nothing but compassion::
Aramat: A few days later, I was ordered to pack up all my things, and leave with Father to go 'A place were I could be cured.' Cook Asylum.
Muraki: I know that feeling too well. When I was fourteen, my father had me sent to a Catholic school in Nagasaki; he had become a Christian, and he wanted me to take up the same faith. He wasn't aware of some of the debauched things going on in that school, much less that I had started to develop a fondness for the sterner sex... :: Strokes her cheeks gently with his thumbs:: That you had to go through such treatment...
Aramat: *looks away* Uncle Theo knew the Director. It was run very Old-Fashioned. Very Homegrown. We weren't even sure that half the staff were even qualified. They took all kinds of girls, rebels, shy ones, mentally unhinged ones, any type that didn’t... "meet standards".
Muraki: :: Frowns, listens with compassion mingled with a quiet anger that she had to endure this, but the anger is not directed at her::
Aramat: They wanted to cure us... by scaring, experimenting, raping, and abusing "The strange" out of us... *eyes go empty* And that wasn't even the worst part... the Doctors were sadist who liked watching... "games".
Muraki: :: A flicker passes across his glass eye: he's been guilty of things just as horrible, but perhaps he had the decency to finish off his prey, rather than turning them loose::
Aramat: The doctors would choose a random girl that he liked. Take them under their wing, perhaps 'force them to have a good time'. Then let her loose on a weaker, more vulnerable inmate... *says all of this calmly, but her eyes say everything*
Muraki: :: His touch momentarily grows warm, but he pulls that back, hers is a pain which tempts him, but he forces himself not to take advantage of it when she is describing her vulnerabilities::
Aramat: We weren't allowed to feel pain or guilt. We were tortured until all we could do was laugh at the pain. Mine was a special case.
Muraki: You were harder for them to break...?
Aramat: Instead of merely crying, I was begging for it.
Muraki: You threw yourself on the blade when they expected you to shrink from it...
Aramat: It merely hurt at first... but once I got some kills under my belt. I became his little murderess.
Muraki: You became more than they expected...
Aramat: I would do anything for Dr. Edwards. Silt that girls throat, fine. Get beaten to a pulp by the guard so he can watch, sure.
Muraki: :: Thinking: This goes beyond mere Stockholm Syndrome....:: In a low voice:: Just so they would approve of you...
Aramat: Spread my legs so he could stick anything he wanted in there, of course. When you're forced, when you're trained. You don't ask.
Muraki: :: Pain memories of his own start to rise in his recall, things he hasn't thought of in years...::
Aramat: ...The guilt would hit, it would hit hard. One time they had to drag me from the river, kicking and screaming. I wanted t odie so badly, I couldn't get the blood off my hands. Then there's that time when I purpose overdosed on the medication... and the silt wrists. I've tried everything actually.
Muraki: And so, like me, you embraced the monster they made you into. You're less culpable than I am: you had your spirit battered into the shape that it takes now. I had this demon within me all along, waiting for the right moment to awaken...
Aramat: Two of a kind aren't we?
Muraki: At least we understand each other's experiences...
Aramat: Yes, I hope you don't think of me as a monster...
Muraki: We have walked through the same fire... If I think of you as a monster, it is as I think of myself: as someone who has embraced their darkness and who does not pretend to themselves that they are anything but what they are.
Aramat: *hugs him* I'm so glad to have met you, Kazu. And one last thing, my real name isn't
Aramat. It is Tamara. Tamara Matilda Seward. You're the only one to know that...
Muraki: :: Holding her with a strange tenderness:: I suspected your name was an anagram or some such, but I did not ask: always respect a woman's discretion.
Aramat: ...I love you.
Muraki: And your secret is safe with me... I've told you of my lineage, something I've told very few.
Aramat: Your secret is safe with me as well.
Muraki: :: Takes this in an almost stunned silence, then leans in and kisses her mouth gently, then pulling back:: Actions speak louder than words...
Aramat: *Has a honest smile on her face* Yes they do, Brother. Yes they do.