Automata: Don't Love Me (Chapter 7)

[silverdoll14]

Title: Automata: Don’t Love Me
Disclaimer: Big emphasis to “Fiction”. The only thing I own is the idea and plot.
Fandom: Arashi, Tohoshinki, Super Junior
Pairing: Haehyuk, Ohmiya, And Yunjae
Rating For This Chapter: PG
Genre: AU, Drama/Angst, Fantasy, Romance
Chapter - Word Count: Chapter 7 - 5328 words
Summary: How can two people love each other when only one of them is entitled to exist to love and be loved?
Warning: Not beta (as always)
Author’s Notes: Coming out from a major writer's block. Yabaiii~~~ Words encased with () are flashbacks.

Just a recap of important details from Prologue till the previous chapter:
- The group runs a little cafe right after graduation. Despite being successful in their careers, all of them run the cafe diligently. They also have a tradition of get-together every Friday night for dinner.  Suddenly, they were reunited with their friend, who had been missing-in-action for years, the same man who actually introduced Eunhyuk to his now close friends, Donghae.
- Eunhyuk and Donghae were lovers till Donghae suddenly left 5 years ago, now he's back here in Korea to somehow settle back. Nino on the other hand was close with Ohno's mother, because it was revealed that Nino had been living with the Ohno family ever since and he revealed to Jaejoong that  didn't have parents when the younger one asked because Jaejoong too was adopted.
- Yunho had a dispute against his father ever since young. Jaejoong wanted to fix but then he and Yunho got also into an argument because Yunho is so stubborn for not giving his father a chance to reconcile. He then admitted that he wanted for Yunho to open up to him because he felt he was useless. Jaejoong was also worried about Eunhyuk because of what happened when Donghae came back. It seemed that Eunhyuk is somewhat okay with it.
- They got into drinking together sans Eunhyuk. Donghae and Nino had a talk about Eunhyuk. Donghae went back to Mokpo and visited his family and his father's grave. His mother encouraged him to get Eunhyuk back despite whatever may happen in the future. When Donghae met Eunhyuk again, Eunhyuk seemed acting like him leaving suddenly 5 years ago didn't happen and that change is scaring Donghae actually.
- Jaejoong and Nino had been working for some songs until they attended a meeting for a new project. After it, they met a Japanese tourist and somehow, it made Nino unresponsive, shock and lost. All of them were worried until Donghae suggested that they should call Ohno who was in a rehearsal. It seemed that what happened to Nino had a connection with Ohno's a moment of lost too. Ohno remembered the same incident when they were younger too.
- Ohno woke up to a coughing fit to the point there is blood. He diminished it and found Jaejoong already in Nino's house. While making breakfast, Ohno and Jaejoong talked about Jaejoong's dilemma about Yunho which is quite similar to Ohno's about Nino. Eunhyuk joined then afterwards and convince Nino that they could do the inventory their selves and Nino should just rest for the day. Yunho too was worried about the growing gap he and Jaejoong have and Changmin suggested that Yunho try to look at Jaejoong's perspective too. As Eunhyuk and Jaejoong proceeded with the inventory, Yunho borrowed Jaejoong first, leaving Eunhyuk alone in the cafe but then Donghae arrived and the two were left to do the inventory instead

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It wasn’t awkward unlike what he had expected. Although there might be moments where they’d end up looking at each other and smile warily, nothing much should be noted. They laughed. They bickered. They talked from time to time, updating of things that had happened in the span of five years. Donghae narrated that how were mornings were like in Seattle, how his work there and some adventures. Eunhyuk would counter it with how it had been hectic in Seoul, how the entertainment world was and how was it working with idols and so the likes. Everyone would have congratulated them. Nino might probably praise him teasingly for not killing Donghae right that moment.

Eunhyuk snickered at that thought, earning a curious glance from his now companion. He diminished it with a smile and Donghae smiled back continuing with arranging the things they would have to let go from the shop. They were almost done already, just a few arrangements and notes and Eunhyuk would really congratulate himself that they were able to progress within the day peacefully.

It felt surreal honestly with how everything just felt like everything was back to its rightful places, just like how it was supposed to be before…

(          They were laughing their hearts out, with Eunhyuk playfully running away from Donghae. They were in the park, a picnic they just suddenly did on a Saturday morning. Jaejoong was busy preparing their sandwiches in case anyone got hungry and Yunho seemed the first one to gobble down his own share after finishing a few rounds of jog across the park. Nino was busy playing games in his console that he never let go since arriving there while Ohno was sound asleep in his lap like the older man always did.

"Oi! Love birds! Picture time!"Yunho called, waving at them.

Eunhyuk stopped and Donghae managed to finally catch him. They shared a look and then a grin, plotting something as they gave a glance to the others, Jaejoong already fixing the camera for a perfect angle, Nino trying to wake up the oldest while Yunho, trying to call them again.

"We're not gonna wait for you!"Yunho threaten and when it seemed that Jaejoong just finished setting up the camera, they raced towards them.

At the flash of it, Eunhyuk and Donghae managed to photo bombed the picture yet no one seemed to be frowning at it. Everyone has nothing but smiles.          )

At that time, Eunhyuk thought nothing could go wrong.

"Hyukkie?"

Eunhyuk snapped at it and then realized he had been looking at Donghae for quite some time. He shook his head and continued the task at hand. It was silence and he knew he suddenly built up a tension in the air.

"Is something wrong?" Donghae asked, soft and concerned. Eunhyuk closed his eyes, suddenly feeling weak and fragile, like a single move from Donghae would break him down and he didn't want to burden the other with the sudden onslaught of his emotions.

He was happy really, with this going back to the way it was now that Donghae was back. But was it really going back to the way it was or they were just avoiding what was really needed to be settled from where they left off?

"Hyukjae..." Donghae called.

"What happened to us, Hae?” Eunhyuk finally voiced out the question he had been asking for years.

What actually is happening now? Nino asked his self for the past minutes that slowly ticked by. Nino was adamant when to the fact that he had always been a shut in. He preferred staying indoors rather than doing outdoors activities. Having his game consoles, papers to write with and guitar were the things he only needed and it was already enough for him to live for days. He didn’t like moving at all too. But there were days that were exemption and today, someone was preventing him to actually go out for the first time.

“Kazu, I told you. Jaejoong and Eunhyuk could handle it. You don’t need to come there and help them.” Ohno persuaded him and for someone who doesn’t talk much or voice out things, Nino was surprised how Ohno could show how stubborn he could be with words too.

“But Oh-chan… I already told you. I’m fine. And it’s my responsibility too so I have to be there.” Nino protested. He was sitting in the couch, watching some variety show he had forgotten already because he couldn’t help but think of going out and go to the café. Ohno was beside him, sketching something on his sketchpad.

“It isn’t like they couldn’t handle it. Come on, just stay in the house for today.” Ohno said; calm but firmer this time but still not looking away from his artwork.

“But I-“

“Aren’t you the one who always wanted to just stay in the house?” Ohno asked quirking an eyebrow when he finally looked away from his work and look at Nino instead.

Nino pouted, “And aren’t you the one who always wanted to go fishing when you’re in your day off?” Irritation can be heard in his voice but it wasn’t irritation towards the older male, but rather to his self because for some reason, he couldn’t stay still.

If Nino would be completely honest, (as in really honest to voice out what his thoughts were,) he was still shaken with his encounter with that Japanese guy. It may be called overacting but he couldn’t help to over think things when it came to that subject. It was a sensitive topic especially when it had to do with everything about his life.

“Aha! No wonder I end up being drawn to you guys. You’re Automata!”

Yes, that guy was right. If you believed those stories about some people who existed but weren't really real people, then he was a good example in flesh. He wasn't a normal human being, that's for sure, and they were mainly called Automata from what he knew. He wasn't ashamed of it. But now wasn't the time to tackle those extraordinary things when everything seemed normal and fine.

“Everything is fine right?” He asked his self suddenly and unknowingly, Nino's eyes set towards to the older male who was still busy sketching.

17 years had it been and Nino still wondered how much Ohno knew about his own abilities? If Ohno knew about Automata that time when the older male had made him? He wondered how much the older guy; his maker as he would like to put it, knew about what really they were and what they were made of. Their kind couldn't possibly come out of nowhere would it be?

Nino didn't remember much really except for the fact that Ohno was blinking at him the first time he opened his eyes. It had been blurry but Ohno's face had been crystal clear with those ever curious yet gentle eyes, the only thing he remembered from the day that he was born (Well, if that word could really be applied to them that was.)

Ohno's family had been welcoming, warm and humble, quite curious (like their youngest in the family) when he blinked his eyes towards their direction. After all, it was the first in the family after quite a few of generations and Ohno's dad was surprised when he learned that his only son had the ability. It was in their lineage that the Ohno family kept a secret and they still intended too but not to Nino because they respected that he had the right to know. But questions why and how remained unknown.

Of course he had asked Ohno’s parents about it, about him and their kind (because he couldn’t really trust Ohno in knowing anything) and they had been patient not just in raising him as their own but also explaining to him that they just know one Ohno would eventually have that ability again, they just didn't know all the answers concerning that ability sadly.

And now back to his initial question: how much does Oh-chan really knows?

“You’re looking like that again.” Ohno spoken, waking Nino from his train of thoughts. He knew he had been looking at Ohno for quite some time already. But judging with how Ohno’s hand was moving over the sketchpad, Nino thought that the older male wasn’t paying attention to anyone at all. Ohno did have the reputation of instantly dozing to the zone or some sort of like that.

Nino shook his head instead; trying to act like it was nothing and then asked, "Looking like what?"

"Looking like there are questions you wanted to ask me but wouldn't..." Ohno said after pausing what he was doing and then looking straightly at Nino. Nino was taken back, couldn't say any words (and to think he was the one who had his ways with words). It was difficult to not be somewhat intimidated because of how Ohno worded his statement. There was a thin line between couldn't and wouldn't. It was a matter of choice and somehow, Ohno just knew how his mind worked with this kind of situations. Guess he needed to give more credit to Ohno than he intended to.

Nino didn't reply anything except to lean his body against Ohno, his head resting in the man's shoulder. He closed his eyes and then took a deep breath."It's been 17 years right?"

Nino caught how there was a sharp intake of breath in Ohno's side, feeling how the man was still probably looking at him now.

"Kazu..."

Nino shook his head, not actually knowing whether he was asking Ohno not to comment about it further or it was for himself. Another breath and then he felt his eyes getting heavier. Guess thinking about this is tiring than I thought. He said to himself as dreamland slowly took his conscious away, making way for his last words to be spoken out in the open, "Thank you."

“Here we-“ Yunho didn’t finished his words  after finding out that Jaejoong already fell asleep along the ride. The former found his self smiling at how Jaejoong looked so peaceful along with the soft radiance of the setting sun emphasizing Jaejoong's handsome soft features. He reached out and brushed the fringes away making Jaejoong to stir in his sleep. Slowly, Jaejoong opened his eyes and Yunho's smile got wider.

"Hey~" He greeted.

Jaejoong blinked his eyes at first, everything slowly coming into him. After remembering what he was doing and who he was with, he asked, "We're here?"

Yunho nodded, soft smile remaining in his face as he unleashed his seatbelt and then Jaejoong's too. The photographer rubbed his eyes, trying to remove the traces of sleep from it. It seemed that he was more tired than what he expected and that little drive let him rest.

"Am I seeing what I'm seeing right now?" Jaejoong asked as soon as he got out of the car, not believing the scene that surrounded him. Salty air lingers by his nose and clashes of waves hitting rocks drummed in his ears but what really caught Jaejoong's attention when he looked around were children running with either balloons or sweets in their hands followed by their parents, couples were walking hand in hand and groups of friends cheering and talking with vigor as they tried to decide what rides to take. They were in an amusement park by the coast line and he couldn't believe that Yunho would bring him here out of the blue.

Jaejoong looked back at his friend, a gasp escaping his lips a second later.

"What?" Yunho asked, one of his eyebrows rising playfully.

Jaejoong needed to will himself to actually function because seeing Yunho discarding his blazer back to his car, removing his ties and cuffs and rolling his sleeves upwards made Jaejoong stare in awe to the taller man. It wasn't an unusual sight since Yunho usually do this every time he arrived at the cafe. Somehow, today was different and Jaejoong couldn't pinpoint what was so different seeing Yunho like that.

"Nothing." Jaejoong murmured, a small blush shading his cheeks. Yunho chuckled, shrugging his shoulders before closing his car door as Jaejoong did the same.

Side by side, the two went inside the amusement park in a seemingly awkward ambiance. Yunho didn’t actually plan on coming here. He just felt it was the right place to be at this moment. He then asked Jaejoong what he wanted to do first because he did bring Jaejoong here so suddenly. But Jaejoong would tell him that he should pick since he brought them there but Yunho still refused, saying he did bring both of them to have fun and he insisted for Jaejoong to pick. Jaejoong insisted to refuse though.

"Okay, this is awkward." Yunho voiced out, his hands unconsciously making its way to his hair, scratching it in wonder. Jaejoong laughed at how childish probably they looked, covering his mouth to stifle a laugh. It was funny how two grown up men visited an amusement park but no one dared to lead where they want to do first. And if no one did, Jaejoong then thought there could only be one solution.

"Ah, let's janken!" He chimed and Yunho chuckled at that. This was the answer in this kind of problems as their Nino hyung would put it and it actually never failed.

Jaejoong won with paper and he really did take the lead. Yunho followed with no protest when the older male dragged him to the roller coaster to line up first thing, saying it was good thing they hadn't eaten yet or they may puke after or even along the ride.

Yunho was glad. He was honestly just waiting for Jaejoong to drag him to anywhere he wanted to go like they used to when they were younger. He knew how the older male enjoyed this kind of things. Maybe their last argument was bigger issue than he thought that started their initial awkwardness. Somehow, he knew that Jaejoong was careful around him recently especially when alone together and this time, Yunho would dissipate that however it would take and set things right.

Back in the Clockwork Umbrella café, the only thing that was dissipating was silence. Despite only the sound of breathing could be heard, the two men staring at each other seemed to speak volumes with no words coming out. No one even budged to move. One was glaring as emotions burst out from the bottom of his heart where he kept all; the other was lost of what to say.

“What happened to us, Hae? What?!” Eunhyuk repeated his initial question with gritted teeth, tears now continuously pouring from his eyes. Despite the urge to move, to punch something or someone, he restrained his self. He thought maybe the punch he landed the first time they found Donghae was already be enough but then maybe it wasn’t really comparable to the pain Donghae inflicted when he left, or maybe he just really want to be back in the arms of the same man he loved ever since then.

“I… I-“ Donghae on the other hand was torn between replying or just to run to Eunhyuk and encaged him in a hug, never wanting to let go again but then he was afraid about the consequence of what his actions would bring. Would it be better or would it be worse?

"Then it's more likely the reason why you need him more..." He remembered his mother’s words, so gentle and so comforting.

Eunhyuk’s cries were a ringer to Donghae’s heart, a trigger to just finally let go of worries. He knew the future would always be hazy, unknown and unpredictable but there would always be the present to cherish, a gift of life and he wouldn’t spend it any more time regretting, asking of what ifs and the whatnots. With one stride, he grabbed Eunhyuk’s wrist and pulled the man towards him, embracing him like a lifeline.

“I’m so sorry… so sorry…” All he could manage to say as his eyes started to well-up as well. The past regrets and pain of leaving finally emerged from his heart and his eyes poured it out. He didn’t mind if Eunhyuk would just stand there, still and unreadable of what to do next but Donghae just wanted to pour everything out in the open, taking the chance to say what he had always wanted to say to Eunhyuk all these years. “I love you, Hyuk… I always have... always will… I’m so sorry…” He wept.

When Donghae felt Eunhyuk hugging him back, relief was an understatement of what he felt right now because… maybe… just maybe everything would just be fine.

They cried for minutes, pouring words of apologies and love. They only lose each other’s hold for a moment, looking at each other and ended up laughing how they looked so awful with puffy eyes, tears and maybe some snot. And then a spark or something just pulled them together, their faces slowly leaning in, nosing each other as their foreheads were against each other and then they were kissing already. Who started it wasn't important anymore as long as they have each other in their arms, unaware of another presence just standing at the back of the wall beside the doorway towards the kitchen where some people could access through the backdoor.

Nino woke up from a dreamless sleep. It wasn’t bad, it was just peaceful. And then the awkward position of sleeping while sitting caused his neck to throb. The television had already been closed, and art materials were scattered in front of him in the coffee table. Thinking back again, Ohno was beside him and now he knew why he felt a head against his own.

Remembering how things were before especially when they were younger, he couldn’t help but think, “Just like old times huh?”  He chuckled though he froze at the moment Ohno stirred in his sleep but the continuous soft snores above his head was a proof that the other male was still soundly sleep. With a sigh of relief, he carefully slipped off Ohno's hold. He actually had his arm around his waist. Gently, he let the older male to lie down in the couch.

Ohno had been working too hard in Nino's opinion. Ohno was someone who had his own pace but if he was set into doing something, he would do his very best in fulfilling it no matter what. Between stage rehearsals for a new production and pending exhibit in process, it looked like it was taking a toll on Ohno already.

"And you still make it worst by going to those fishing trips rather than resting, you old man." Nino murmured, but it was far from scolding because it was said with so much fondness.

Nino's eyes then turned towards the clock. It was only seventeen minutes passed five. Surely, Jaejoong and Eunhyuk were still there. He just couldn't help it. He needed to be alone with those two because even if Ohno had done a great job in calming him yesterday, he needed those two to surely stable himself. It was some sort of a leverage he couldn't explain before but he somehow figured it out when that Japanese guy showed up.

And so, he went to his room to change, heading out to the cafe not before putting a blanket to the sleeping Ohno.

But Nino wasn't expecting what he had witness upon arriving. Since it was easier to go through the alleys that would lead him to the back door of the cafe, he had taken that route. He didn't notify the two since Jaejoong would probably nag at him while Eunhyuk would second whatever Jaejoong was saying.

Arriving there, he was set to call either Eunhyuk or Jaejoong to surprise the two but then he heard a shout so he chose to hush his steps instead.

"What happened to us, Hae? What?!”

Eunhyuk and... Donghae?

He knew he was invading their privacy but Nino couldn't move a single muscle to do so.  His feet were glued as he heard Eunhyuk's cries getting louder, heard how Donghae said his apologies over and over again, how both the two reconcile again after five years of pain and anguish.

It's about time. He would have said right here and right now but chose not to. I wasn't in the mood now to ruin the moment, he would have excused his self if ever he was caught just to hide the fact that maybe he did stay just to make sure these two were just fine and wouldn't lash out on each other and created more damage than one would imagine.

Kids.

And so, after making sure that Donghae and Eunhyuk didn't made anymore damage and basing from the fact the two were kissing already when he took a glance, he left the cafe, mentally giving props to Ohno for being right. Eunhyuk and Jaejoong didn't really need him since they pretty much covered everything.

That reminded him, where was Jaejoong? It seemed that Eunhyuk and Donghae were the only ones who were there. There was no sign that Jaejoong was with them. Did he leave already before that? Well, that's new. Because at times like this, Jaejoong always made sure that everything was fine before leaving. Out of all of them, Jaejoong surely was the most dedicated one about the cafe.

But that was the least of his problems right after arriving back at his apartment. As he opened his door and silence was really deafening, from the doorway he could already see Ohno sitting in the couch with a serious face he rarely see from the older male and it actually made him nervous right.

Gulp!

"Yoh!" Nino greeted, trying to compose his self because really, an Ohno like this was kind of scary. But rather than an answer or anything, the older male remained emotionless.

"Oh-chan?"

Still no response. Nino heaved a sigh, tired and somewhat defeated. With heavy steps, he closed his apartment door, for going the need to change into house slippers and just enter his living room after disposing his house keys in a nearby table. Because even if what he saw in the cafe was something worth to celebrate for, Ohno's stubbornness was ruining that glint of joy. The older man was being irrational right now, being too stubborn in not letting him out like he was some kind of a child that needed to be protected when he would be turning fucking 30 years old already in months.

"Look Oh-chan! You're being paranoid here.-" and Nino couldn't continue anymore. Not when in one second, Ohno had already encased him in a tight hug like Ohno was holding for dear life.

"Oh-chan?" He called because Ohno had a tight grip around him, like a kid who didn't want to let go of his teddy bear. And he didn't understand one single thing why the older male was acting like this.

Okay, he did have his own relapse yesterday where he was acting like a robot and it was overacting in his part. He admitted that but this Ohno right now was another mystery and Nino didn't really know how to react especially when he could feel shuddering coming from Ohno's body and... Are those tears?

It was a struggle because despite the lithe form the older male possessed, there was strength that was comparable to any larger man, so getting out of Ohno's tight hug was really hard but he needed to see Ohno's face, to confirm that Ohno's tears were the one drenching his shoulders.

"Satoshi! Let go~ please~" Nino called, desperation in his voice because this was scaring him, but no, he wasn't scared of Ohno, he was just scared why was this happening to the older male, scared that the reason was him.

"Sash~ Satoshi. I'm here... I'm here." Nino coaxed but Ohno's shuddering just got stronger as his sobs got more apparent. "Satoshi~ Look at me..." Nino begged because despite not liking that Ohno was breaking like this when Ohno had been a strong pillar for him, he needed to be the strong pillar now for the older male.

But his resolve tattered when Ohno whispered so soft but clear, "Why wouldn't you stay?"

It had been a fun time. For two hours, they had been riding a lot of rides and no one seemed to stop. The moon was above the sky already and despite the night being young; they finally decided to call it a day after one last ride and with Jaejoong's persuasion, the queue up in the Ferris wheel.

The moment they stepped in the cart, it was silent again, they were sitting at the opposite sides of the cart with Yunho looking down while Jaejoong was looking away to the scenery just so they could avoid each others' eyes for the mean time. No one seemed to utter a word or maybe they were just waiting for the right moment.

"Uhm..."

"Hey..."

Both couldn't continue what they were supposed to say when both talked at the same time. They ended up saying the same thing when they knew they cut each others' words, "Sorry~"

They were already laughing when they found themselves saying the same word but Yunho recovered first and added, "You first..." he urged because what he would be saying might ruin the moment (if ever they do have the moment) and so, he wanted to hear from Jaejoong first.

Jaejoong on the other hand had exactly the same worries. He was really happy when they got to spend something like this again but he knew it was just their way of running from the real problem if they continued on. And so he wanted to be honest not just for himself but for Yunho as well.

With one deep breath, he started his so called speech, "I know it hadn't been the same between us lately and I'm really sorry. I’ve been meddling too much but it wasn’t my intention, really and I can’t turn a shut eye about it since I’ve known you for so long… Okay, maybe I don’t remember of how much that so long is… but…” Jaejoong started to babble because this was really nerve-wrecking and Yunho had just been silently looking at him. It wasn’t that Yunho was looking angry or anything, in fact, he was just looking at him, waiting for him to say what he really wanted to say. But…

“Hey…” Yunho called when Jaejoong suddenly just turned silent right after babbling and now playing with his hands and Yunho knew it was a sign that Jaejoong was nervous and didn't know how to say what he wanted to say.

"Hey~" Yunho called again when it seemed Jaejoong's attention wasn't to his. When the older male finally looked up, he smiled and coaxed, "it's just me..."

Jaejoong blinked. He didn't realized how Yunho was closer to him, with the taller male leaning his upper body supported by his elbows against his long limbs. The only thing that was registering in his mind was how Yunho's hands was so warm ever since the latter had been holding his clammy ones for quite awhile already. It was comforting and so did Yunho's bass voice. With another deep breath, he started again what he meant to say.

"I'm really thankful to you Yunho-ah. You've been always there for me even if I didn't say anything." Jaejoong said with a small smile, his eyes looking straight to Yunho's.

He paused for a second, now looking down to concentrate his eyes in their joined hands in the middle of the cart. "I just wanted to do the same thing for you but I guess I crossed lines and I understand that... but just don't forget that I'll always be here for you too no matter what." Jaejoong ended. Despite not voicing everything, he knew it was enough. He did keep in his mind what Ohno had said to him and he would do his best to comply on that. It was enough because he was able to say the most important thing he wanted Yunho to know and it came from the bottom of his heart.

Yunho didn't respond as soon as Jaejoong finished his statement, instead he was enjoying how soft Jaejoong's hand was in his.  The Ferris wheel ride continued to turn but no one heeded attention. It was all in the way how their hands were joined that was important that moment.

"It wasn't your fault, Jae." Yunho admitted softly but clearly.

Jaejoong's head shot up in protest, "I-," but Yunho shook his head, asking for the older male to let him talk first fully and Jaejoong bit his lower lip with a nod.

"Things had been really shaky, especially between me and my father... I'm quite well aware of that," Yunho continued, chuckling at his last statement, "I really want to talk it out with you," another confession from Yunho as he looked at Jaejoong under his bangs, "but I'm not yet ready... there are things that are still too painful to say and I really don't want to burden you~~~ although I know somehow I know it is still a burden no matter what. But just..." another pause just to let go of the breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"Just let me arrange my thoughts first..." Yunho asked and Jaejoong nodded subtly. "With all honesty, you being with by my side is all I could really ask..." and Yunho was already leaning his forehead against Jaejoong's and with how close Jaejoong's face was, he could even count the strands of eyelashes in Jaejoong's closed eyes. "Thank you Jaejoong, for being here with me." Yunho said, full of gratefulness but as the same time, guilt will always be in his heart because in reality, he couldn't be honest yet with Jaejoong, not yet.

They remained like that, silent and thoughtful, their hands still joined and foreheads warm against each other until someone cleared his throat, "Uhm, excuse me?"

Jaejoong and Yunho sat up and they looked at the now opened door where the assistant in charge of the ride was waiting for them, "Uhm, the ride is finished sir," the assistant reminded them quite embarrassed.

Yunho had a sheepish smile while Jaejoong looked away with a blush in his cheeks. When the two of them finally got out the cart, the-seemed-to-be-the-main-operator gave them a knowing look.

Yunho couldn't decide whether he should be annoyed amused. But then, he honestly didn't mind that situation they were in awhile ago because now, he could be reassured that everything was fine and it was proven when he found Jaejoong was already waiting outside the attraction booth. As the older male glanced back at him, Jaejoong had a smile, that genuine smile he loved to see at his friend's face.

I'll tell you everything soon, Jae... I just hope it wouldn't change now and then...

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
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Author's Notes:
Yes, surely but sadly slowly, I’m coming out of my major writer’s block. This should be posted at least Tuesday night, but something happened in the house I'm staying in Manila. It was robbed but thankfully, my PC is safe... Don't want to get into details but needed to come back to province and there is no connection till now.

Anyways, gradually, everything is coming to the limelight. Now we know why Nino is like that when he saw Aiba ne? Honestly, I finished the most important part of the revelation in Chapter 11. It was a talk between Aiba and Nino. Everything would be explained it by then.

Chapter 8 will be a smut chapter for HaeHyuk, a little background about Jaejoong’s family and his connection with Yunho and the answer of why Ohno was acting like that. You probably guessed it right? That Jaejoong is like Nino too? So who’s the other one? Anything you noticed with Ohno by the way?

This will be cross-posted in my AO3 account with the edited version. Since I saw some discrepancies about in writing when I was re-reading the previous chapters.

Hope you didn’t get confused much. If you did get confused with all the revelations, you can just ask me. I don’t bite. :3

Thank you for being patient with me and I hope I’ll see you again in the next chapter.

To-do list:  (Please don’t mind this. I just need to see which things to be updated soon.)
Powerhouse
Just One More Minute
Automata (Chapter 7)
Boku ga Boku No Subete (Chapter 7)
Arashi Training Camp (Pazudora Verse)
There really were Kappas, right? (Pazudora Verse)
Maya (Chapter 6a)
Dear Changmin, I’m Yoochun (Day 3)
Hello, Sho-san (Pazudora Verse)