Should I have a mid-life crisis or should I just put it off for the time being?

[silver_notebook]

All my posts are stuck behind the balustrade that was my birthday. On Sunday I became middle-aged. It’s a strange thing, age. It doesn’t seem odd when I say it out loud, but writing it down? Hmmm.

I was going to have a Big Party, themed, ‘Come as your Mum,’ but as my mother has been spewing vitriol, perhaps it’s a good thing that idea fizzled into

Comments

[lisadarling]

I don't think these are things to change, 'cause I only found good things;
literate
clever
in balance
therapeutic

but sure, your english sometimes makes me feel dumb as a rock. I'm more 'hello. sun is nice, sky is blue, I'm fine. bye'
but, you can never change that and win anything by doing it. I guess I better get better at being good.

[silver_notebook]

your english sometimes makes me feel dumb as a rock.

That is my failing, not yours. I remember Muriel Spark (an author who I really like) commenting something to the effect of, why say something complicated when you can say it simply? I really like you're writing. It has a warmth and directness to it that I could never emulate (not that one should try to emulate others' style), and you write that well in a second language!. Fuck, you write better than many university students in Britain write in their first language (and I've seen a few). Also, your moral code to life is so soundly formed. Some things you write make me pull up and think, 'whoops, yes, she's right. I'd never thought of it like that before.' Thinking about it, there's quite a number of you on my friends list who are incredibly sound and principled people.

[wild_boys]

That's because you are also sound and principled. Just sayin'

[silver_notebook]

Not so fucking sound and principled that I don't grab you by the hair and hold you up against the wall and shout, 'Oi, you: I asked for some fucking tips on things I ought to do this year, being as I'm now OLD and you gave me nothing! Talk. Now.'

[vizzygoth]

Your "come as your mum" idea sounds fabulous. A clever, humorous way to celebrate getting older... Which baths did you go to?

I haven't read your journal long enough to see any aspect of your personality that needs changing. I can definitely echo the specific compliments from the above comment, and add that you are independent, which is something I heartily admire.

A question for you, though, if you don't mind sharing: what is your PhD in? I'd be interested to hear any impressions/advice you have for investing in a PhD. I am waiting to hear back from a few applications here, but am applying to jobs as well. I think it might come down to a work/school decision, so advice from someone who's been there would be helpful...

[silver_notebook]

The baths were those in the link at Ironmonger Row, near Old Street. If you're in London, the grandest Turkish Baths are at Porchester Baths; but the Ironmonger Row ones (and some of the others in East London) are much more 'London', with cockney changing room attendants and slightly more ordinary people attending them.

As for the PhD, I'd be happy to answer any questions or expand on my experiences. Mine was in nutrition and cancer, looking more at underlying mechanisms, though addressing aspects of epidemiology. Supervisor is the magic word. You can email me (silver_notebook @ hotmail.com) for more info, as I try not to say anything too explicit in my journal. I can even do IM, if prompted, though it's not something that I switch on by default (I think it last went on last summer).

[porphyre]

I'm not sure if I could possibly say what you might want to change. You say I'm brave, but when a chance came today to be spontaneous, I kept walking instead and wondered what you would have done. (I kicked myself after, of course, and almost went so far as to go back into the restaurant to do my nefarious deed on some hapless stranger, but decided that would give entirely the wrong impression.)

(also, you should try this sometime)

[silver_notebook]

I don't think I'm proposing 'changing' myself. I realise that that's a VERY hard thing to do. It's more about aspects of me that I should develop and work on, or challenges I should set myself. The hair one is perfect: I'd been thinking that at sometime this year I should do something bolder with my hair; though probably not QUITE as bold as that: I've not made any fundamental changes to it in years. One thought was a peroxide blonde, scraggy, bed-hair bob. I've not been white blonde since I was three; but I fear roots, or even worse, looking like a Fulham Mum blonde (once you get to London you'll understand what I mean by that. They're the type of middle class, right of centre, Chelsea tractor (SUV) driving women of my age who wear leather trousers and spend a fortune of their banker husband's money on hair and nails, botox and the gym). I don't think I could cope with the sheer volume of what you have; though yours looks fantastic. If I were to do something like that, it would be in more timid colours. I did do the cotton wool

if you do, I'll want to

[porphyre]

I did a re-do on myself where I decided I was finlly going to learn how to apply make-up. I still don't know what I'm doing, but I do it well enough to fool people, so p'raps a new skill to go with a new haircut? Brush up on a language you've always liked the sound of maybe, or... oh! TANGO LESSONS>

You, ma'am, should go find some tango lessons.

Good suggestions (I'm assuming from Porphyre)

[silver_notebook]

Oh, I too, have limited make-up skills. I have only recently rediscovered eyeliner, and how to use it in a manner less heavy-handed than the black lines I occasionally applied as a teenager, which never really suited me. Fine-brushed, gunmetal grey, liquid liner that's smudged to almost nothingness is my new friend. I do have a desire to try bolder things, but normally my boldness is limited to the brightest red lipsticks.

As for the language, I believe that I'll only learn a new language if I live amongst one: I've never been that adept with acquiring such things, having been strongly deterred at a young age by a nasty teacher who would shout, 'fermez la bouche' at anyone he didn't like. I sometimes wish I would awaken with Spanish on my lips; and if I could acquire any other languages by injection, my next choice would be Arabic (a language rich in history spoken by many of our neighbours), then possibly Hindi.

Tango is tempting. Dancing with competent man who can take control can be so fucking hot (sadly, dancing with a man

[wild_boys]

Happy belated. This part: Oh my god: that sounds so fucking, up myself, Victorian, patronising, paternalistic, middle-class phoney philanthropic. I should shoot my self or withdraw from any social interaction until I can address my attitude. made me laugh out loud :)
You rock.
xx

[silver_notebook]

Yer; you know what I'm getting at. Kisses to you too, honey.

[dans_la_reine]

GAH!!

come as your mother party is GENIUS

xoxo

[silver_notebook]

Yer; it's especially good for those of us who have 1970's memories of mothers. Also, it gives the blokes a chance to put on a frock, and we all know how much they love that!

You're allowed to use it over there next time you have a party (though of course, you'll be expected to have a tiny little shrine to me tucked away in a corner).

[dans_la_reine]

Awwwwwww I will!